“You forgot to hold the knife to my neck. I could of escaped.” The black-haired mage named Marri commented on her abductor's behavior in a sarcastic monotone voice. “Shut up. This is my first time.”

“Well, you’re not very good at it. What was the plan anyway? You know he’ll just kill you with a glare. He can do that you know.”

“Then I’ll make my demands in note form.”

“With what? The mail? You’re a wanted male.”

Mann struggled to drag his surprisingly willing captive farther away from the town.

“Oh look, a cave. We should rest.” His hostage pointed out. With no sense of urgency.

“Good idea.”

“Thanks. I had it myself.”

They enter the cave. The cave walls form into rooms. The first room is unpassable on account of the giant pit in the middle of it. Mann blocks the exit with his body and lets the hostage to the ground. “Sit still. I need to catch my breath.” Mann says between heavy breaths.

“What’s your plan here, man?

“How’d you know my name?”

“I don’t?”

“Yes, you do!”

“No, I don’t!”

“You just called me by it. I never introduced myself to your group.”

“Calm down dude. Chill out, man.”

“You did it again!”

“Is your name man?”

“Yes! My name is Mann.”

“Anyway, what’s your grand plan? Demand the strongest person in the planet to use his sword for your gain.”

“No! Not for my gain. For the gain of the people.”

Marri adjusts her bra. To the incels reading. When a woman adjusts her bra in front of you it means she doesn’t care that you are there. Adjusting a bra is no more sexual then pulling out a wedgie. “So what? You’re going to make him overthrow the nobility.”

“I mean, it’d help. The nobility. They’re arrogant. They treat the bottom class like shit. They whip us, steal our food, fuck our wives. They are parasites!”

“Sucks to suck.”

Mann’s temper flares. “How can you say that? This is my life. A life of humiliation and you just blow it off!”

Marri shrugs. “Not my problem.”

Mann lunges for her. He grabs her wrists to prevent her from pointing any magic his way and tackles her to the ground.

“What the fuck?” I walk into my dungeon to see some homeless looking dude pinning down a teen girl. They both look at me. “Are you gonna rape her?” I ask. Out of curiosity, but also as a way of planning my next stratagem. It was Son Tzu who once said “Make a noise in the east then attack in the west.” Meaning I should be friendly until their intentions are clear. Son Tzu. Oh, shit. I just realized. Son is dead, as well as Ned. Dead for the second time. I don’t think I’ll be able to resurrect them. Their bodies are out of my reach. Who would have guessed that that large demon would be so powerful to oneshot me at my current level.

“What! No! How dare you accuse me of that. I would never make someone suffer the same way my wife suffered.”

“Nice back story. You becoming a villain or just edgy?”

“I’m trying to change the world for the better!”

“Supervillain. Nice!” I clap my hands for him. To think that my dungeon would get to see the birth of a medieval supervillain.

“I’m not a villain. I’m fighting for the common man. I need Hiro to use his power to help the people of this world.” I raise a nonexistent eyebrow at him. He lost me. How does anything we just talked about have to do with Hiro? I look at the girl he has pinned. “Oh, It’s you.” I pause trying to remember her name. “Maggi.”

“Maggi is our priest. My name is Marri.”

I shrug. “Can’t really blame me. Yall just see to fade into Hiro’s background. What are you doing with this dude?” I inspect the thirty year old man holding down the teen looking girl. “Daddy issues? I’ve seen a lot of DV cases where the child grows up to want to be abused by an older man. It’s tragic but I mean. The human brain is flawed.”

“He kidnapped me!”

“That’s some heavy roleplay kinky shit, but why did he bring you here?”

They both shrug. I shrug too and teleport into my home base. I don’t want to interrupt their erotic roleplaying. I don’t want to interrupt their roleplaying because I want to watch the good parts.

I watch them struggle over who gets to hold the knife to whose neck. They slowly roll over each other until the old dude pins Marri with her head hanging over the pit.

Hiro pops into existence behind them. Along with his harem of nine girls. “Anon have you seen--” He stops. Looking over at the fight. He smiles.

“Halt foul fiend!”

Mann holds the knife to Marri’s neck. “Don’t move. I’ll kill her if you don’t do what I say.”

“Oh, my old friend. Your betrayal stings my heart.” His acting needs work. He sounds like a middle school Romeo and he over exaggerates his movements. “I freed you from prison, gave you a new lease on life, and this is how you repay me? Stealing, Maggi, my beloved companion.” Maggi slaps the back of Hiro’s leg with her staff. “That’s Marri! I’m Maggi!”

“I thought she was Maggi. Maggi as in Maggic.”

“Names have nothing to do with someone's role!”

Hero Hiro raises an eyebrow but chooses to ignore her and return his attention the hostage situation in front of him. “Praytell my once good friend what are your devious demands?”

This must be a new thing for Hiro. The only time I’ve seen him this in character was when the village was playing with him. I turn my attention away from the screen.

There’s a vampire woman behind me. She’s playing patty cake with Lillia. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing! The queen of vampires was guarding the gate this whole time. I swear!”

“Mommy why is daddy angry?” Lillia chimes in. Her character is all over the place. She starts off cute, then gets corrupted by me and mischievous. That vampire queen must be putting her influence all over her. I say that like it's a bad thing, but it's better than me covering her in influence.

I point to the screen. “Because they’re doing a high school play on my dungeon floor!”

“Hiro! You could change the world! With your power and knowledge from your previous world, you could solve every problem that the common person has. You could destroy corrupt nobles, you could fund orphanages with your exports, and end world hunger! You could even be king and the world would be better off with you at the helm.”

“Tax reform, church reform, crop rotation. I don’t want to be king. I want to explore dungeons.” He drops the act to give his counterpoint for Mann’s claims.

“Crop rotation?”

“Yes, land loses nutrients when you plant only one crop in it. You have to rotate them so that the nutrients will be put back into the soil.”

“The barren land curse! You solved it! See you can change the world.”

“But that’d be boring.”

Mann takes a gulp of his own spit. This was beginning to get off-topic. “Change the world for the better or I kill her.” He pushes the knife into Marri’s neck.