I got up early the next morning and left without waking Kaapo. I felt tired, hungry, and sore all over. I noticed some tiny insect bites on my arms and ankles. I would have killed for a cup of coffee. Of course, I had already killed for a few mouthfuls of gamy meat, so that wasn't saying much. This time I headed due south, deeper into the forest. The terrain became progressively more hilly, and deciduous trees became more common as I traveled. After a few hours, I noticed an odd sensation in the air around me. I couldn't identify exactly what sense I had picked it up on, but I definitely got the impression that something important was nearby. I suspected that this was a result of my Mysticism skill, which I had expended a skill talent to upgrade. It was, after all, the skill that powered the Storm Elementalism that I relied on so heavily. I closed my eyes, and tried to focus on the feeling. I could feel the tiny, familiar divot to the north that marked the location of the camp, but now there was a similar, but much more intense impression coming from south-east. The impression didn't feel especially positive or negative, just strong. I pursued the feeling into the wooded hills.

Although it was not marked by any human-made structure, I recognized the spot I had been searching for when I saw it. Nestled in the cleft between three hills, shaded with cedars so that only a single shaft of sunlight illuminated it, was a garden. Even though it was late autumn in a temperate climate, the garden was in full bloom, as though it were springtime. Flowers of a dozen different species formed rough concentric rings around the centerpiece, a white rosebush in full bloom. A small, natural spring sat on the hillside above it, sending a little trickle of water down to wrap around the bush in a shallow stream. No single aspect of the garden seemed in any way artificial, yet the whole image was too perfect to be the work of unaided nature. I knew at once that this was a sacred place, not merely magical, but redolent with raw beauty and power. It had the air of a remote temple, or an ancient burial ground. It was bizarre to consider that all of this, including the air of the sacred and ineffable, could be created by a program, however sophisticated.

I approached slowly and cautiously. I could sense a tightness in the air. It felt like a warning. As I approached, the rosebush stirred. The thorn-covered vines began to writhe against one another like snakes. I stood at a distance and watched as thick branches emerged from the base of the bush and wrapped around themselves, swelling and twisting until a recognizable shape was formed. Before me stood a lupine body made of a knot of thorny, wooden branches. The thing began to walk slowly toward me, its movements now a perfect imitation of a huge wolf.

I stepped backward, not daring to make a sound. I knew that if I ran, it would easily chase me down and tear me apart. Likewise, a electric charge that would only stun a human would have almost no effect on a creature made of solid wood. It let out a low growl as it approached, gradually rising in pitch until it became a snarl. I turned and retreated up the steep hill as fast as my legs could carry me (which I fully admit is in no way an impressive speed). Since I was still alive when I crested the hill, I reached the reasonable conclusion that the bizarre creature was not pursuing me. I turned.

The wolf-like thing had stopped at the outermost ring of bluebells. And why not? It wasn't trying to eat me. It probably didn't even have a throat behind its impressive wooden teeth. It was a guardian of this place. It had no animosity toward me, as long as I kept my distance.

I headed back the way I had come, stopping only to scratch my personal mark into a nearby tree as a secondary navigation point. I knew that that garden was important, and that it was almost certainly worth my while to defeat that guardian and reach the center. I just didn't have a good way to do so at this time. I considered how I might fare if I came here with Kaapo backing me up. No, that wouldn't work either. A wooden spear would be even less effective than a lightning bolt against that thing, and frankly, Kaapo hadn't been impressing me with his skill and competence lately. It was getting time to admit that maybe he and I ought to part ways. I didn't want to just abandon him while he was injured, of course. I had serious doubts as to whether he would be able to survive without my support. I had basically been serving as the man's mother the last few days.

I noticed an odd spot of overturned earth as I walked. It looked like something had been digging in the dirt and dragging itself around, ripping up the grass and pine needles as it went. I guessed a small wild boar, or something comparable. I had never thought of myself as a tracker, but this unsubtle creature might be a good place for an amateur to start. I scanned the area and found a rough line of disturbed needles and broken branches leading further south by south-east. Whatever it was, it was making a real mess as it charged through the underbrush. I just hoped that I could find it before something else did. This forest was no place to be careless.

I found I was having an easier time moving through the forest than I had at first. The underbrush and debris were just as thick as ever, but my body was beginning to grow accustomed to the movements I needed to maneuver through. The creature seemed to have been careening through with no concern, as though something were chasing it. I couldn't be certain what was following it, or whether I was minutes or hours behind. I had almost decide to start heading home for the day when I heard its grunting and snorting ahead.

The thing was about half a meter in length and had two small tusks sticking straight out from it's mouth. It was using these like trowels to dig in the earth, probably looking for edible roots or insects. I crept cautiously forward, staying as low to the ground as possible. Its senses were almost certainly better than mine, but with luck it would be too preoccupied with its own search for food to notice me. If I could just get within range, one bolt should sort it out nicely. I had never eaten pork before, as it is forbidden under Islamic law, but I had never been especially observant, and anyway I was near starvation and at least this animal had been raised in the forest, far from humanity and its garbage. Besides, it was only a simulation. I crept closer and closer, and was nearly within range, when the accursed thing let out a blood-curdling squeal of terror and shot off into the underbrush again.

I was disappointed. I wondered briefly if Kaapo would have done any better. But my disappointment turned to fear when something in the nearby brush uncurled itself and stood before me. It was a woman, with short gray hair, wearing a gray cloak, and brandishing a tiny crossbow. She was barely over a half-meter in height. And she was shouting angrily at me. I didn't understand the language, but I strongly suspected I was being cursed out. Lots of short, choppy words.

You have encountered a language you are unfamiliar with. You have 6 Learning points unspent. Do you wish to learn the language “Vulgar Fae”?

Yes No

I was definitely being cursed at. It's difficult to know how much to invest in a language when you first hear it. I had sunk three points into Oestkommen, and I had now been kicked out of the only place I knew of where that was spoken. It was entirely possible that this would be my only encounter with a Vulgar Fae speaker, and even if it wasn't, Vulgar Fae don't sound like people I would want to talk to anyway. Still, I didn't feel prepared to take that chance. This little woman might just kill me here and now if I didn't respond properly, and if she was familiar with this area, she might have a lot of useful information.

What level of language skill do you wish to acquire?

Simple: 1 Learning point

Fluent: 2 Learning points

I guess that “Eloquent” isn't really an option for this kind of language. I chose “Fluent”.

“...thick-witted, moon-eyed, slab-footed, boot-licking daughter of a dung-merchant! May you drown in your own piss! May your children forget you and your parents regret you! I've been chasing that thrice-accursed little skid-mark for two shit-eating hours, you turf-stomping dimwit!”

The little woman seemed to be out of breath from her lengthy tirade, not surprising, considering she had the voice of a heavy smoker.. I thought it best to interrupt her before she launched another slew of creative insults.

“Look, I'm sorry that your pig got away, but your language really isn't acceptable.”

Her expression immediately shifted from outrage to suspicion. She aimed her tiny crossbow straight at my face. “You speak Vulgar Fae? How did that happen?”

“Just a knack I have.” For some reason, I hadn't expected her to find the fact that I could speak her language odd. It reminded me of those episodes of Star Trek where holodeck characters gain self-awareness and comment on the funny uniforms the crew wear. She was just a simulated character, but apparently she had no perceptual filters.

“Oh really? A mysterious stranger are we? I want a straight answer, or I'll pop your eye like a grape and bring you home for dinner instead!”

“I'm a magician.” I answered. It wasn't a lie, and it functioned well as a generic explanation for strangeness.

“Interesting. Show me a trick, then.” the little woman answered. I didn't really feel like showing off my lightning. If I directed it at her, it would either kill her or not kill her, and neither of those would tell me anything useful. If I fired it somewhere else, she might decide it was too dangerous to let me live. I just didn't have any other magic I could display at a moment's notice.

“Fine. See that hanging over there?” I pointed off into the woods. The little woman peered in the direction I had indicated.

“Made you look.” I said. Hey, she said “trick”.

She glared at me, but she was smiling now.

“Hilarious. What are you doing out here? Humans never come this far into the forest.”

“Nothing special. Just trying to find some food.”

“Oh, you're a hunter!” she said sarcastically. “I should have realized. What exactly was your plan here? Hope the boar is deaf, then sneak up and slap it to death?”

“I'm new at this.” I answered. It was the truth.

“I should hope so! I've never seen anyone so unprepared for the forest! Even humans usually have more sense than this! Let me guess, they kicked you out of Rocky Shore!”

She was making fun of me, but at least she now saw me as a source of amusement rather than a source of food. I could probably stun her if I needed to, but anyone who could survive in these woods had to be capable. I wasn't about to underestimate her just because she was small.

“Wow. Good guess.” I answered, hoping to play on her pride.

“Oh, do tell! What did you do?” she asked.

“It was a misunderstanding.”

“Of course it was. Whose misunderstanding was it?”

Not much was being said here, but I could tell this woman was sizing me up, forming a picture of me and my origins without me having to directly answer anything. I thought that maybe it would be best to stay quiet and let her do all the lying for me.

“Just a lot of general confusion. I thought it best to skip town before anything major occurred.”

“Such as a major arrest, or a major execution, perhaps?” I didn't like her little smile. I let the question dangle. She had made up her mind, so there was no need to challenge her preconceptions.

“So, you're lost in the woods, and can't go home. And you're going hungry.”

“That's fair to say.”

“Are you alone?” she asked.

I had to pause to think about that question.

“More or less.” I answered.

She favored me with a sly smile. “Don't want to say? Well, I won't press you. I am called Olga.” she extended her hand.

“Jamil.” I said as I shook her hand. It was like shaking hands with a doll.

“I'd be willing to help you survive in the woods. You obviously won't manage long on your own.”

“What kind of help were you thinking of?” I was taken off guard by the shift in conversation.

“Oh, I couldn't hang around and babysit you, but I could give you some useful hints, enough to manage until winter anyway.”

“Well...thank you. I would be very grateful.”

“That's nice, but gratitude isn't enough. You would owe me a favor.”

That sounded a lot less appealing. “How would that work, exactly?”

“Oh, nothing formal.” she answered. “I might decide I need something from you in the future, and you just have to be prepared for that.”

I wasn't really in a position to barter, especially when the terms were so vague. I really hoped that this wouldn't be a terrible mistake.

“Alright, a favor it is.” I answered.

“Agreed!” said the woman. She made the word sound like a cry of triumph, which did not make me feel any better about this idea.

Olga held up her end of the bargain. We walked through the woods for several hours, and all the while Olga peppered me with tips and tricks for survival. She showed me the ten most common edible plants in the forest (she refused to even discuss the mushrooms, as she claimed the deadly and the delicious ones where so alike that this would do more harm than good). She told the importance of approaching a boar upwind, which was the main reason my last ambush hadn't worked. She showed me how to distinguish the tracks of several woodland animals, where to search for ground squirrels, which berries were edible (the answer was “almost none of them”), and several tips for determining whether water is safe to drink. She told me what parts of the forest were frequented by large predators, and where to find the homes of the other Gnomes, which I was on no account to approach without a Gnome to escort me. By the time she announced that she was going home for the day, I felt I had a much better grasp of my situation.

It was only when she left that I realized that she had at no point given me any means to find her again, and I had no idea how she planned to collect the favor that I now owed. I headed home with an armful of ugly-looking but nutritious foliage under one arm.

When I arrived, I saw something that shocked me even more than my encounter with a wolf made of wood or a woman the size of a house-cat. Kaapo had been working. The wigwam was now covered in a thick insulating layer of pine branches. Around it were arranged a set of sharpened stakes partially buried in the ground, to discourage any more night-time visitors. Kaapo was seated by the fire, roasting a skinned rabbit on a simple wooden spit. Kaapo himself was busily scraping the rabbit's skin with a knife made of chipped stone. I stood for a moment watching him, unnoticed.

“Kaapo, you've been busy!” I announced happily. He looked up at me. He didn't seem pleased

.

“What is that supposed to mean?” he asked quietly, turning his attention back to the small pelt.

“You...made a knife.” I pointed out. Kaapo sounded like he was simmering with rage, but I couldn't imagine why.

“Well, I couldn't very well wait for you to bring home dinner. You were gone when I woke up, so I assumed you were gone for good. I had to fend for myself, even with my busted thumb.” he showed me a splint he had made out of ivy and a stick.

“I'm sorry. I was hoping that leaving earlier would make hunting easier, but I didn't have any luck.” I was really trying to avoid a fight, but right now I didn't like my chances.

“Well, I've had a hard day's work, so don't expect a share of my hunting. You can try your luck with those weeds you have.”

I wanted so badly to just let that go, but it was impossible. “But.. I shared the animals I caught yesterday with you!” I didn't want to shout, but how could I not?

“Those things were disgusting! I wouldn't have eaten them if I hadn't been starving. Anyway, you owed me after poisoning me with those mushrooms. I notice you never had any of those.”

I couldn't let this sort of bald-faced hypocrisy go unaddressed. “I warned you that eating those was a risk! I've been running around this forest for three days trying to keep both of us from starvation, and all you've contributed are excuses!”

“Yeah, you've made it very clear what a burden I am to you! You would be totally lost without me! After you got us kicked out of that town, a little support during my convalescence is not too much to ask. You're a total failure as a hunter! Look at what you have to show for a whole day's work! You have rabbit food, I have a rabbit. My food eats your food!”

A dozen sentences crowded into my throat, all demanding to be shouted simultaneously. I wanted to tell him that he had been happy to share my food when he had spent the whole day doing nothing. I wanted to tell him that the botched robbery that had gotten us kicked out of town had been his stupid idea, as had the idea of camping in these dangerous woods. I knew there was no point in any of it though. This was the time to make the decision that I had been considering all day.

“I'm done arguing with you, Kaapo. This partnership was a bad idea. I keep trying to make it work, and you keep reminding me that it isn't worth it. Tomorrow, I'll set up camp somewhere else. You are obviously capable of managing on your own, so lets just leave it at that.”

“What? If you want to split up, fine. But if we're not partners any more, I'm sure as hell not letting you stay in my house. Go find your own place!”

I felt pure hatred well up inside me. I had done at least half the work to build this shelter, and he wanted to throw me out! I felt electrical arcs crackle between my fingertips, the rage demanding to be expressed in physical form. I knew I could roast this lazy, arrogant, lying bastard with one bolt of white-hot lightning. I could burn this whole stupid forest to the ground, starting with his smug face.

I just turned and walked away, before I could become a murderer. What could I do? The man told me he was a thief the day I met him. This is what thieves do.

I walked to the stream, and decided that my new home should be more sensibly located. A ten minute walk upstream ought to be sufficient proof against encountering Kaapo by accident. I carved another navigation marker into a fur tree, and ate my collection of edible leaves and roots as the sun started to go down. I mentally added salad dressing to the list of things I really missed. I knew I was in for a really miserable night with no shelter. The air was already cold,and it would be near freezing soon. I hastily assembled a campfire and lit it up with lightning. Cheating was really my only way forward in this situation. I would have to sleep now and build a proper shelter tomorrow. I found enough needle-covered branches and dry grass to make a sort of nest, then settled in to try to sleep.

I think I maybe caught half an hour of actual sleep among thirteen hours of shivering in the darkness, silently cursing Kaapo's name and myself for letting him have his way. The worst thing was, Kaapo had been right about one thing. I had been lost before him, and I was just as lost now. Even hunting and foraging and trying to avoid getting eaten had been more meaningful when I had someone, anyone, to come home to afterward. Now that I was alone, I had to be the one to decide what I was going to do with the rest of my life, however short it was likely to be. I had no serious chance of seeing my family, or any of my friends, ever again. I cried at that thought, which I had been trying so hard to avoid. I let the faces of each person I could remember from my old life pass before my mind, just to make sure I could remember them.

The sky finally started to turn pink, I got up immediately and got the fire going again. I still felt exhausted, especially after lighting the fire with yet another stamina-wasting bolt. I was fed up with with the woods; I needed something in my life besides darkness, cold, and needles. Now that I knew what to look for, I could easily find enough edible plants to make an deeply unsatisfying breakfast. Salad is not what you want first thing in the morning, especially not the the kind of salad that makes a carrot look sweet, juicy and indulgent by comparison, and especially when you've already had salad for dinner the night before. I picked a fat tick out of my hair, and for a crazy moment, I considered eating it. This was a new low. Still, with so many immediate, physical problems to resolve, the broad existential ones faded into the background. Today, I decided, I was going to turn things around.