It was another day dragging along the streets of New York, every day I live as the loser who’s accepted his fate, working a dead-end night-shift job with slews of colorful characters. After my shift ends I drag myself home for a rest before I begin my barrista-boy day job, constantly getting scolded by middle-aged white women. Why do I continue when I’ve given up hope? The letters in my mailbox always give a grim reminder. Bills upon bills needing monthly payments just to keep one person alive, my father. Call after call, hangup after hangup, no relatives ever give a damn dime for his coma. Bastards, the whole lot of 'em.

It was another night-shift at the 7-11 and a curious customer comes in cloaked with an ancient-looking dark hood. I thought to myself that this might be another robbery, and I had my finger hovering over the alarm button under the desk. The cloaked man stalked the aisles looking at the goods. Upon further inspection it looked like he was wearing some sort of stone-looking mask. He noticed the pastry display case and curiously opened the case. Believing it was only sleep deprivation, I thought I saw some sort of mist flow from his sleeve. He came to the counter with his chosen doughnut and to my surprise, it appeared that the eye slits in his mask were covered. “Perhaps he’s blind?” I thought to myself. Regardless, he placed the doughnut onto the counter. Silence. Nervously, I told him “The price for that is 75 cents… sir?” Saying nothing he stuck his right hand into his cloak, rummaging for something. Concerningly, I held my finger just above the alarm, but soon relaxed when he took out a book and placed it on the counter. I stared at the rotting cover with the number 7 etched into it with a golden backing. As I went to look back at the customer he was gone, surprisingly along with the doughnut.

Following the end of my shift, I carried the book and checked the first page. Inside I saw that there was a list written in black ink. It read like so:

Upon flipping to the following page of this book, the reader shall be subjected to the curse of the seven deadly sins. The curse plagues the afflicted with visions and voices of human manifestations of lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride. This curse is not entirely without virtue, as the reader will be able to demand one wish within the powers of the sins.

Beware: As the sins will grant the wish as they see fit, twisting your wish into yet another curse of their own design.

Closing the book after the last warning, I wondered to myself whether or not this book could even be real. I left it upon the desk in my small apartment and fell asleep. After finishing another dreadful day at the coffee shop, I flopped unto my bed, when I heard my phone buzz on my desk. Answering it I heard the caller tell me that my father’s coma was worsening and that without payments by the next morning, he would be forcefully discharged. I didn’t have enough money, and wondering how I would pay the bills, my eyes fell upon the weathered book.

Disregarding the warning and the curse, I turned to the second page, and upon doing so, a whirlwind of smoke and lights flooded my room (luckily I had the blinds shut). Desperately trying to close the book, upon reaching it the storm had already subsided. As I tried to grasp exactly what happened, I realized that every page in the book was empty. Worrying that the storm may happen again, I tossed the book into my closet and suddenly fell unconscious.

Upon waking back up, I noticed three figures floating in the air above me, talking amongst themselves. The slim one in a black suit coat told the other two “Well what should we do when he wakes up? Surely he has something he needs to do.”

The one with the rugged body and gangster like clothes snapped back at him, sneering “the rest of his life can fuck off for now, right he’s gotta deal with us.”

Finally, the curvy one clinging to the suited one noticed my eavesdropping “looks like the little puppy is awake boys, let’s introduce ourselves. Wrath, go get the others.” The gangster one stormed off around the corner, grabbed an overweight figure attached to my fridge and tossed it back at the two. “One of you two wake up sloth while I get greed and envy.”

Looking upon my bed I see a bulky man with pajamas on, my jaw agape at the scene unfolding before me, I ask “Who are you people?”

The suited man responded “We are the seven deadly sins, I assume you’ve read the interior cover of the book yes?” Glancing at my closet I gulp and nod. “Wonderful, when the other sins arrive we will discuss the matter of your wish.” he continued. Amazing, what work of wonder is this? “I assume you are wondering about the limits of your wishes yes? Well let me clarify our restrictions. Initially, we were able to create and destroy large quantities of matter and take control over the minds of nearly the entire world, but as you can tell by the wear on the book, we have been circulating about humanity for quite some time. Consequently, we are unable to perform as well as we have been able to as before. Say if you were to ask for money, the most we could do is $100. For popularity, maybe a million views on a Viewtube video. Do you understand?” I nod again. “Good. Ah, here comes the remaining sins.”

I look back at the hallway and see the gangster-like man barge down the hallway dragging two figures, one bespectacled and with a business outfit on, another one with his face staring angrily at his phone. The gangster-like man tossed the other two into the corner of my apartment as he scowled at the other two, “I thought I told you fucks to wake up sloth before I get back didn’t I, and why the hell is the fat fuck asleep?”

The suited man chuckled, “Worry not Wrath, Lust can arouse those two from slumber easily. Lust, if you may.” The curvacious woman released herself from the suited man and a strange pink mist smoothly pooled out of her fingertips and wafted over to the sleeping figures. The bulky man groaned, turned, and slowly got up, I was concerned that he would break my ceiling but thankfully he hunched over. Regarding the obese man on the floor, he rose immediately at the smell, looked around, and frowned at the sight of the curvacious woman. They all stared at the suited man, who nodded towards me, making me the center of attention.

“Well boy, what is your wish?” asked the suited man.

Before I could even say anything, the gangster like figure demanded “If you don’t make up your mind in 15 fucking seconds you ain’t getting shit.” I frantically racked my brain. Popularity would get me nothing, the amount of money they could provide wouldn’t do nearly anything, what I need is help.

Jolting at the thought, I exclaimed “Please, help me!”

Bewildered by the request, the suited man fixed his tie, calmly inquiring “Young lad, you must be more specific, just about any wish could be seen as help.”

Alright, I guess I would need to be a bit more specific, “Please, give me advice in my life, help me with jobs, relationships, everything!”

Continuing his confusion, the suited man glanced at the other figures, “Well, what say the rest of you?”

“This scrawny wimp seems like he could use a lesson or two in fighting”

“I checked his browser history, I can tell that this boy needs my help with his love life.”

“Ah, I was checking his portfolio, this kid sucks with money and his job is shit, I’m up for lending a helping hand.”

“His fridge was entirely empty save for some energy drinks, I was sobbing at the door, this boy needs me.”

“That bed felt like it was hardly used, such an uncomfortable resting place was painful, I’m in.”

“Browsing this facebook, just about everybody is more well off than him, I’m up to change that.”

“Well boy, it looks like all of us are in agreement. We look forward to helping you as the seven deadly sins.”