《Drunks & Fanatics》17. Seeing What's To Come - Part 3
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Hei and Torgrak are horrible, that’s a fact without equal. Perhaps even the worst existences in this world.
She sighed.
But they do hold up their end of the bargain, even if it means jumping in front of a giant beam-breath-attack-thing. And do seem genuinely capable of helping me become the Hero I want.
Tessa looked at Hei and Torgrak.
“You said you’ll help me accomplish my dream of becoming a Hero, didn’t you?”
Hei answered, “If that’s what you want to become, we shall turn you into one.”
Tessa was silent for a moment.
“I’m surprised you two aren’t laughing at me for having such a childish dream.”
Hei smirked, “We won’t laugh at you for having a dream.”
Torgrak chimed in, “But ve vill laugh at ya for tryin’ ta chase it in a really stupid way, zhough!”
The two broke out in a fit of laughter, howling their heads off as Tessa blushed and puffed up. She tried to get them to stop.
“Oh, shut up! I thought you two weren’t going to laugh!”
Hei and Torgrak eventually came back down, wiping tears from their eyes.
Hei said, “Regardless, consider this congratulations on finally taking the first step towards your dream. After all, a seedling can’t sprout if it never breaks through its shell.”
An awkward silence fell over the room as Hei’s words settled in. Tessa cracked a smile, though.
“That was too corny, even for you, Hei.”
Torgrak started chuckling when Hei elbowed him, a light blush across his face.
“Oh, my sides! I can’t believe ya actually said zhat! Ahahahah!”
“Shut it, you!”
“I zhink my gut is gonna split!”
Hei reached out his hand for Tessa to shake to seal the deal. Tessa almost met his hand with hers, stating something before they went back to being teacher and student.
“This doesn’t mean I like you as my mentors.”
Hei smiled, “We know.”
With that, she shook his hand and considered things settled. For now.
Tessa asked, “Where’s Tolan by the way?”
Torgrak let his laughter die and answered.
“He’s keepin’ watch outside.”
“And the monster?”
“Sill rampagin’.”
“And, considering your ever present confidence, you two have a plan for dealing with it?”
“Aye!”
Torgrak reached into something other than his bag for the first time in a while. It was a stone with a really big bullet embossed on it.
“Is it ready to be fired?”
Tessa watched curiously before being taken aback by the voice that came out of the stone.
“Yez, Bozz! Big gun aimed and ready!”
She couldn’t help but watch in concern and confusion. And taking into account that his weapon of choice wasn’t “big” in the same way the voice implied, she had a feeling something she couldn’t fathom was going to happen soon.
She asked, “Should I be concerned, Hei?”
Hei shrugged, “Do you really think concern can prepare you for whatever he’s going to do?”
“Fair enough.”
“Follow me outside! It’s goin’ ta be a beautiful show of fire!”
Tessa asked, “Don’t you mean a ‘beautiful fireworks show’?”
“I know vhat I said.”
Hei and Tessa followed Torgrak outside as he chuckled evilly the entire time. And as she stepped outside, she noticed that she now stood at the very edge of Crimsonvale.
I guess Hei carried me here… I think?
Then a question popped into her mind as she saw the avatar wasn’t any closer to her than when she last saw it.
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“Hei, didn’t you say that it could smell me or something?”
Hei had to remember for a second.
“Oh, that? I lied. It can’t actually sense you.”
Tessa was about to say something, but then remembered how Hei admitted that the Korlos-incident was mostly an act.
Torgrak really wasn’t exaggerating when he said you’re a good actor.
Then she spotted Tolan.
“Hey, Tolan.”
He turned to notice her, nodding for a moment before looking back.
“Good to see you up and about. But shouldn’t you be inside resting?”
“Torgrak wanted to show me what his ‘big gun’ was capable of.”
Tolan was immediately confused.
“His what?”
Torgrak then handed everyone a pair of glasses with very dark lenses.
“Put zhese on an’ keep yer eyes on da avatar. An’ don’t take zhem off until it’s over.”
Hei and Tessa did as instructed, but Tolan was hesitant.
Tolan asked, “Why do we need these things, exactly?”
Torgrak responded, “Would ya razher be blind in a minute?”
“Stupid question. Got it.”
Tolan put them on, and the four all watched in silence. Tessa and Tolan were still confused, wondering what they were waiting for. But then there was a faint whistling noise. It started quiet, but quickly got louder and louder. Tessa and Tolan shared a quick glance, both equally concerned as they watched the avatar.
Tolan asked, “What’s that noise?”
Torgrak chuckled, “My most beloved creation.”
And then the silence stopped as a massive explosion engulfed the avatar in a scorching ball of fire and light. It roared, but no one could tell if it was out of pain or fury. And a rush of wind whipped past everyone, sending their hair flying for a moment. The cold air biting their skin as the explosion slowly faded away.
And as the dust settled, the avatar was still there. But it wasn’t moving as before. It stopped attacking wildly and was more like an animal catching its breath.
“I thought you said that thing would be done in by your ‘beautiful show o’ fire’. It’s still alive!” exclaimed Tolan.
Torgrak scoffed, “I didn’t say zhat, copper tongue. Zhat light show vas only da beginning. Now da eral fun begins!”
“Could you explain?” asked Tessa.
Hei elaborated, “Avatars don’t have bodies in the same way other things do. They’re made from the compression of many souls into one body, so their bodies are incredibly resilient and will repel most attacks.”
“So, how do you take something like that down?”
“You have to wear it down. Make it exhaust its energy until it runs out of energy and can’t recover from the damage its taking. For a monster of this level, you’d normally see armies and multiple Heroes sent in to take it down.”
Tessa thought about the word problem before her and connected the dots.
“Does that mean Torgrak’s attack basically did the work of thousands in a matter of seconds?”
“Aye! An’ now zhat monster be veak enough to slay vith betveen zhirty and sixty platinum ranked adventurers. Not including casualties.”
Tolan interjected, “But we don’t have that!”
Hei laughed, “You still think that thing’s a threat.”
Tolan’s right eye twitched.
“Yes. Obviously!”
Tessa put her hand on Tolan’s shoulder.
“You’re not going to get the answers you’re looking for.”
Torgrak laughed, “Ya catch on quick!”
Tolan rubbed the bridge of his nose.
“Can I at least ask where for where you are on the Adventurers’ Guild’s rankings?”
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Hei answered, “We’re Custodians.”
“That’s not a rank in the guild though, is it?” asked Tessa.
Hei responded, “It’s a special rank given to the most special of members.”
Tolan huffed, “So we have some super janitors to clean up this mess. Great…”
Torgrak chuckled, “Just vatch from here vhere it’s safe. Don’t vant ya gettin’ caught in da splash zone.”
With that, Hei and Torgrak began walking towards the avatar. Then a magic circle appeared at their feet, and suddenly they were gone. And in the distance, Tessa noticed a flash of light near the avatar.
“I… think they teleported over to where the avatar is.”
Tolan looked surprised.
“They did what?!”
Now a suitable distance from their student, Hei and Torgrak discussed the more private parts of their mission.
“Kegs finish yet?” asked Hei.
“Aye. Vhile ya vere handling Tessa, he reported in. Da bodies vere disposed in da usual vay. All zhat remains is da giant eyesore.”
“Exemplary as always. Let’s finish work so we can go relax.”
“Aye.”
Hei summoned forth his sword and Torgrak hands him a fresh shield before coating both of them in protective magic.
“Epsdim ble def Evil’s Bane.”
Shadows coated the both of them from head to toe, and before pointing his sword at the avatar, and cursed it. The same eye that he put on the Archbishop now appeared on the chest of the avatar. Confused by the symbol, the avatar scratched at the symbol, but found it wouldn’t come off. Turning around, it faced Hei and Torgrak and roared at them.
Torgrak then took out something similar to what they drank at the inn, but in a much smaller vial. Inside it, it appeared as though a chunk of ice was floating inside liquid fire. The both of them downed it as flames made of ice rushed over them quickly before fading away.
Next, the dwarf cracked his gun open and loaded it with a variation on the cartridge he used against Korlos. But the moment these rounds touched the air, a cold smoke fell from them and coated Torgrak’s fingers in frost. And once loaded in, Torgrak’s gun transformed. Jutting shards of ice coming out along the barrel. The entire thing now letting off a frosty fog.
Torgrak yelled the thing as it looked down on them.
“Oi! Ya small-horned celestial drop out! Daddy Nencog no longer need ya? Or vere ya just da leftovers of a bad batch?”
Hei joined him in insulting the creature.
“Now, now. No need to demean this hideous fiend. After all, I’ve killed imps with bigger horns and smellier hides.”
Not enjoying the insults, the avatar opened its mouth and let loose a breath attack. Bathing them in its condensed flames for a full six seconds. But after it ended, the avatar looked confused as Hei and Torgrak didn’t seem phased by it. Not even the ground had been vaporized this time.
“Nencog be damned! Your breath is amongst the weakest I’ve ever smelled. And that’s including when I had to deal with burning bodies on a battlefield.”
Seeing its attack much less effective than expected, it screeched at the heavens in confusion. Taking the opportunity, Hei teleported up onto its arm and cut two gashes in its left bicep before jumping away. The wounds leaked a red light and tried to seal themselves, but a rotting, black energy ate away at the regenerating flesh. Keeping it open.
Torgrak followed it up with three cracks of his rifle before the cartridge ejected, blowing holes in the avatar’s side that closed with a creeping ice. Freezing the wounds before the avatar could respond. The avatar reeled in pain, and Torgrak reloaded another of the same cartridge.
Infuriated, the avatar clawed at Hei and swung its tail at Torgrak. Its swipes carved gashes in the ground but found no purchase in Hei’s shield. They scraped and dragged, but could do no more than that. And its tail kicked up the stone bricks making the streets, but Torgrak jumped over and dodged the attack.
Hei then teleported behind the beast’s right leg and cut its hamstring. His blade carving into the avatar’s flesh with ease as they quickly became infected with the same black energy from before. The avatar let out another cry of pain and fell to one knee. Seeing the opportunity, Torgrak aimed for the face and shot holes in its chin, horn, and left pectoral. The ice drilling in deep and expanding out. A blue blood-like liquid leaked out from the icy wounds, evaporating the moment it hit the ground.
Entering a frenzy, it rushed Hei with a flurry of claw attacks. And while they scratched the metal, it couldn’t do much else. Then it tried to grab him, but Hei stabbed it in the palm and made the avatar regret its choice. Shifting its attention to Torgrak, it whipped its tail back and forth. This time catching Torgrak in the side and sending him flying. But the dwarf landed on his feet, sliding backwards but still standing. And a couple of jumps and dashes later, he regrouped with Hei. The two smirking as they enjoyed the battle.
Now pissed off beyond belief, the avatar summoned forth every bit of its energy and shot the pair with a concentrated beam of white hot plasma. Overtaxing its magical energy, but aiming to wipe them out in one large blast. Torgrak dodged out of the way, but Hei raised his shield and cast a spell.
“Epsmel def Nire’s Hunger!”
An eye opened on Hei’s shield that morphed into a wall of darkness with a hungry mouth. And as the breath attack hit Hei, most of it entered the endless void within his barrier. It still singed his skin and weakened his armor, but Hei was far from dying today.
Hei smiled, “I felt that one? Actually trying now?”
The avatar was now in a much more sorry state than when the battle began. Earlier, its muscles glowed with a vibrant red light. But now that light flickered and faded. The avatar’s body became less divine and more fleshy. And seeing an opening, Hei jumped and teleported up to the avatar’s face and cut at its eye twice. It howled in pain and brought a hand up to its eye. The dark energy now spreading out from every cut Hei made, slowly creeping along the avatar’s skin. And following this up, Torgrak fired off another burst of shots. Critically injuring the monster this time and blowing off one horn completely.
Now desperate to survive, the avatar attacked everything around it. Clawing and swiping its tail everywhere, hoping to swat the flies that buzzed about it and injured it so gravely. But in its weakened state, it could do little more than flail about. And with this, Hei and Torgrak went in for the Kill. Hei cut a large gash across its throat, and Torgrak blew a hole in its forehead. The two ending the avatar at the same time.
Hei’s sword devoured the souls as they escaped from the demon, and Torgrak carved bits from the avatar’s horn and store them in a special jar before all of its body turned to dust.
Hei joked, “How sad our mission is now complete. I rarely get to go all out like that, and yet it ended so quickly.”
“Yeah, yeah. Let’s get back to Faezhun so I can start experimentin’ vizh zhis zhing’s horn scrapin’s.”
Meanwhile, back where Tessa and Tolan were, the two weren’t sure if their eyes were working properly.
Tolan asked, “Did they just…?”
“Yep.”
“But… that was…”
Tessa agreed, “Uh huh.”
“What… what are they?!”
“I have no idea.”
And a few moments later, Hei and Torgrak teleported back to them.
Tolan asked, “Aren’t you two ‘custodians’, not demigods?!”
Hei smirked, “But that’s all we are. Just a pair of custodians. Or, as you put it, ‘super janitors’. Nothing more, nothing less.”
Tolan’s eyes narrowed.
“No one with that much power stays hidden for long.”
Torgrak agreed, “Aye. But zhis ain’t da time nor place. Let’s just call it a mission completed.”
Tolan took in a deep breath of air and recomposed himself.
“Well. With how easily you dealt with that thing, you must have some way of fixing all the damages you incurred. Right?”
Hei seemed to not be paying attention.
“Well? Are you going to pay up for destroying my town?”
“Oh! Yes. The town. It is destroyed, isn’t it?”
“Quite. Now don’t keep me in suspense. Do you also have some kind of fancy spell or tool that’ll rewind all the damage?”
Hei and Torgrak looked at each other.
“That… is an excellent question, Tolan.”
Tessa immediately got a bad feeling about what was coming next.
“Torgrak! Why don’t you tell him what’s going to happen next?”
The dwarf was whistling away until Hei hit him in the arm.
“Hm?! Ah! Let me just get somezhing real quick…”
Torgrak reached into his bag and pulled out a scroll. Stretching it open, he began to read from it.
“Ahem! ‘Da Adventurers’ Guild is not subject nor liable for any damage caused as a result of or during da completion of a quest taken on by any Adventurers. If ya seek financial aid ta recover from damages, please contact our human resources department and zhey’ll get back ta ya vithin a veek.’”
Tolan’s face fell in disbelief.
“What?!”
Torgrak continued, “‘However, if da damages vere caused by da Custodians Hei Zhao and Torgrak, please see addendum 914.”
“Well… what’s the addendum?”
“‘Addendum 914: You are S.o.L.’”
Tolan’s face turned completely blank.
“Huh?!”
Torgrak handed him the scroll.
“Here. See for yerself.”
Tolan read it from top to bottom, even flipping it over to see if there might be something on the back. But there was nothing else, and it even had the Guild Master’s signature at the bottom to show authenticity.
“This… can’t be real.”
Tolan looked up from the scroll.
“Hey! You two had bet-”
Tessa and Tolan then saw that Hei were already booking it down the road.
“Get back here, you two! You’re paying for the damages whether you like it or not, yo bastards!!!”
He dropped the scroll as he chased after them. And Tessa quickly followed suit as the sun broke over the horizon and signaled the start of a new day. And for as much of a nightmare as these last few days have been, she wondered what adventures lay ahead of her. Smiling as she chased after them.
She called out to them.
“Hey! Wait for me, you guys!”
I’ve got a long road ahead of me. But if what I just witnessed is even a fraction of what I can become, I’ll endure the coming hell and achieve my dream.
Becoming a Hero.
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