Reminiscing on my earliest memories did not last long as the nurse also known as Ms. Reeve waltz into the room.

Yes. She waltz. No exaggeration.

“Lizabeth”

And she removes the ‘e’ from my name. This is an almost 50 year old woman mind you. Although for some reason I feel like 50 years is not a very long time. Even I don’t know why.

“Yes, Heather?”

She beamed. She seemed to fancy my way of calling by first name regardless of age. It didn’t seem wrong to me although the reactions of many adults are not nice when I call them by first name. It's a bit rude to them, but i see nothing wrong with it.

“How are you doing?”

“You asked the same question an hour ago, Heather”

“Just doing my job, Sweetie”, she flashed a smile revealing her golden teeth.

I smirked then turned to face her squarely. “My drugs, blood pressure or heart rate?”

“Blood pressure”

“Roger that” I said with a crooked smile and rolled up my sleeves revealing my pale arm.

She sat on the stool nearly and brought the sphygmomanometer closer.

Come to think of it, I remember some words but the others are foreign to me. Foreign as in they sound weird after they leave my mouth because I don’t recognize them.

Before I opened my eyes for the first time, I felt very cold but after I opened my eyes, the cold disappeared just like that.

I didn’t mention it to the doctor for reasons I am unable to state but I am sure there is something wrong with me.

Although when I think about stuff like that I am reminded of what happen the same day I regained consciousness…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

They had just finished telling me why I was unconscious in the first place and how the doctor said I wouldn’t make it but I started breathing again however I was in a coma and it was unknown when I would wake up

After listening to all of this, I asked the question that had been bothering me ever since the darkness.

“What does ‘motherfucking’ and ‘bitch’ mean?” I said absentmindedly stroking my chin ever so softly with my pale fingers that seemed to have claws residing on them.

Utter silence.

I looked up to find eyes that looked like they would pop out of their skulls.

I blinked and ask surprised by the reaction, “What’s wrong? Is it extremely bad?”

Deeming it a non-friendly word from the way I used it earlier I was just planning to find out the meaning but it seems worse than I ever thought.

“N-No”, Jason stuttered then glanced at me for a few seconds then looked away, “it’s just coming from you, the word…” he trailed off.

“Coming from me?” I repeated his words stupidly then I tapped my head a few times.

‘Do these guys truly know me?’ -----the paranoia kicked in again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From what I can gather, I am supposedly a gentle and soft spoken, don’t forget cheerful human being. I don’t feel like that not one stinking (oh! a new concept) bit. I never used to curse and I am supposedly slow to anger. Is it just me or do I feel like an entirely different person from that angelic description?

I already feel like an absolute coward screaming ‘help me’ in the darkness and they just make it worse.

"Ah, f*** them"

I even feel better when I say it; how could I have never used this word before?!

I am getting a headache… as to the topic of my unconsciousness, it seems I fell off the stairs.

Must have hurt a whole lot. (I even surprise myself at how relaxed I am).

The only thing that annoys me is my body. It is so weak and pale; but beautiful. It’s a body I don’t recognize but it is my body.

However it feels weird.

Like my body should be a lot stronger than this.

“Yo!” a cheerful and a bit deep voice made me turn. I was Maddie standing at the door. I looked around only to realize Heather was gone.

I let out a guilty smile, “Hey Maddie”

“Brought you some chicken?”

“Much appreciated”, I beamed recollecting my first taste of this heavenly wonder called chicken. May God bless the man who discovered it. (They explained who God was).

Tearing at the chicken vigorously, I filled up my previously empty stomach and finalized it with a burp.

“Thank you!”

Maddie giggled, “You really are different”

“Oh?” I said mockingly

“Uh-huh but you’re still Beth”

I need to get used to all these different variations of my name.

“I see” I stated flatly.

Maddie stared at me for a while then shook her head.

“Why did you ask if you were human the other day?” She asked suddenly

“Hmm? ‘Why?’ you say, I honestly have no idea” I said truthfully, “I just felt like I should ask”

Maddie laughed, “You’re so weird”

“How did you come to that conclusion?”, I chuckled

“You all seem to be having fun”, came the gentle voice. It belonged to the hazel eyes. Jason’s voice. I seem to like the color hazel. The reason, I have no clue. Actually instead of like, it was more of an instinct.

“Why, thank you for ruining that fun”, I said dryly.

He beamed, “How are you feeling? Good?”

“I can walk now”, I smiled. That itchy feeling was back. What is this feeling?!

The red head followed with a smiled on her face, “Hi Elizabeth”

“Is that supposed to be a smile? Your eyes look like they are hurting”, I said trying to be honest.

She flinched for a second then retained that smile, “You seem a bit hostile to me since you forgot your memory. Maybe this is your real feeling?” she chuckled sitting down a few inches away.

“Feeling? Nah, you just seem to hate me so I was returning the favor”, I said revealing a smile that was as gentle as the wind. At least I thought so. She seemed to cringe. Ah, her name is Lilian, I forgot.

Clap

Maddie clapped her hands together, “Enough with the hostility and let’s take a stroll, shall we?”

I turned to her and nodded, “Some fresh air would be much appreciated”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fresh air. The one thing I know that calms my mind. Well, it would be if not for the daggers being thrown at me.

Not literal daggers.

Sigh~ I stopped walking, “Lilian, do you need something?”

“No? Why?”

I heaved out a sigh, “Then what is it?”

“Jealousy….” I would have missed it if I wasn’t paying a bit of my attention to Maddie.

Jealousy? JEALOUSY?

I turned and looked at Jason for a good 1 minute. He stared back confused. Ah, that’s what it was.

The reason for my cold tone and my itchy feeling.

This guy was staring at me with eyes full of….love.

There are no words that I know and the ones I don’t know to describe my feelings right now.

I stood straight up and glared at Lilian, “If you like him, like him!. Why are you bothering me?!” I was very close to screaming my head off.

“Huh?” She stood there dumbfounded then her eyes widened in realization, “D-Disturbing you? What might you be talking about?”

I raised a brow and looked from Jason to Lilian. I see, this was the so called love triangle… no it wasn’t. But something is off. I don’t like Jason. Jason likes me. Lilian likes Jason…. Why doesn’t she just chase after him; not literally off course. Except….

My eyes lowered and with an ice cold tone, I said, “Jason?”

“Hmm?” came the carefree reply.

“Were we dating?”

“You remember?!” He said his voice filled with excitement.

“No, I just figured it out from this little interaction here” I shot down his excitement.

I looked at the ground and massaged my temples, then I heard a giggle from the back.

Must be Maddie, I figured.

I shot my head up and staring into Jason’s eyes, I said, “If we never broke up, let’s break up this instant”

His whole face read shock.

I felt not an ounce of love for this man…more like boy as we were all 17 year olds. He felt like an absolute stranger to me. The only ones whom I seem to like are my mother, father and Maddie.

Apart from that, the way he stares at me makes me cringe. Those love-filled eyes…

I shuddered involuntarily. I tried again to search my memories for why I had this aversion to love. Of course there was nothing before the darkness.

I sighed then cleared my mind.

“Right now, I have no ounce of love for you”, I said rather truthfully.

His countenance seemed to fade then he smiled but the smile was unable to hide anything.

His hurt feeling was obvious. "I see" he said rather quietly.

I returned a smile of my own while saying the words, ‘sorry’ inwardly.

Also ignoring the daggers on my back.

‘I just rejected the man! What more could she want?!’