《The Goth, the Ghost, and the Jester》Chapter 15
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I tried to read a book to pass the time. It didn’t help much. I was too anxious to focus on what I was reading. The clock on my cell phone read 1:46 A.M. Allan would be here soon.
“I don’t like this,” Greg said. He was pacing the room.
“Of course you don’t,” I replied. Reaching into the box of cereal by my side, I took out a handful and shoved it in my mouth. I was stress eating. “But what do you have to be worried about?” I asked as I chewed, “You’re already dead.”
Greg cast me a wide-eyed glance. “The last time you and that boy went out at night, I ended up bound by a spell. Who’s to say that this isn’t another ploy to get me banished or cleansed or whatever he calls it? Did he not say that he was taking you to a soul here in the castle?”
“Well, yeah,” I conceded, “but you can’t be the only ghost in this place.” Digging my hand into the cereal box again, I took out a few pieces and chucked them across the room. They flew right through Greg’s head. He glared at me. My aim was getting better. “I mean, you told me that you can see other ghosts, right?”
He shrugged. “I can,” he admitted, “but it does take effort. Most spirits keep to themselves. We only see what we want to see. Besides, I have not been here long.”
There was a knock on my door and I jumped up, panic shooting through me. Rushing to the door, I pulled it open. The hallway outside was dark and Allan was standing in the shadows. Flicking on the flashlight he held, he put it underneath his chin, illuminating his face.
“Are you ready to hunt some ghosts?” he asked, his voice low and creepy.
I had to admit, he looked pretty eerie. The light of the flashlight almost made his white skin glow. “Of course I’m ready,” I said in an excited whisper. Turning off my light, I headed out of my room. “Let’s go!”
Allan moved the flashlight out from under his chin and shone the beam of light in front of us so that we could walk. Greg hovered over my shoulder. I could see him fidgeting nervously with the sleeves of his tunic.
“So where is this ghost?” I whispered as we left the employee dorms.
“The great hall,” Allan whispered back.
I raised my eyebrows in surprise. I would have expected to find a ghost in some hidden, deserted corner of the castle, not the busiest room here. Then again, the walls of the great hall were lined with old suits of armor and weapons. Maybe it made sense after all.
As we crept through the corridors of the castle, I didn’t notice anyone else out and about. That was a relief. I was just waiting for the moment someone caught us and I got fired. Upon reaching the tall archway, we stepped into the great hall. Allan swung his flashlight around, illuminating the high ceiling. A shiver ran down my spine. This big room was creepy when it was so dark.
I followed Allan as he continued to lead the way, weaving through tables to reach the bar in the corner. Near the counter, hanging on the wall, were a few porcelain plates. Allan stopped in front of these. They looked old, that much was obvious, but they seemed pretty ordinary besides that.
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“Here you go,” he said. “This is your ghost. Work your magic Jessi.”
I gave him a quizzical glance as I stepped closer to the plates. “Is there really a ghost here?”
He nodded, but I didn’t trust him in the slightest. Glancing behind me, I spotted Greg. “Is he telling the truth?” I asked.
Greg looked surprised. “Actually,” he said, “he is. I’ve never taken note before, but there is a spirit here.”
I turned back to Allan, uncertainty filling my expression. “So you’re the master at this right? What do I do?”
He just smiled at me. “I came here to show you where the ghost was. It’s up to you to help it move on. I can’t wait to see what you do.”
I scowled at him. What a turd. Maybe I should rethink having a crush on him. “So should I just start talking to the ghost?” I asked.
“Do what you got to do,” he said.
My frown deepened as I turned back to the plates. “Um, hello,” I began. It was humiliating to have Allan and Greg standing behind me. What if they were both lying about the ghost and I was just talking to some plates? I wouldn’t put it past them.
I knew what Allan was doing here. He was trying to make me feel like an idiot so that I’d want to give up. Well, it wasn’t going to work.
“I don’t know why you’re haunting,” I continued as I addressed the plates, “but it’s time to move on. You’ve passed away and I know your family and loved ones are waiting for you. Whatever it is that’s keeping you here, just let it go. You can do this.”
I took a deep breath. This was really dumb. Turning around, I saw that Greg was barely concealing a laugh. “Is anything happening?” I asked.
Allan nodded, looking impressed. “Yeah,” he said, “the ghost is gone now. You talked it right into the afterlife.” His tone was so sarcastic, it was almost sincere. I glared at him. “That was super impressive,” he continued. “I’m going to do this with all the ghosts I see now.”
Greg glanced at Allan. “Believe it or not, she tried this very same tactic on me. As you can see, it led me straight to eternal salvation.”
Allan laughed. I liked it better when the two of them hated each other. Allan must have noticed the rage in my expression because his smile soon faded.
“Come on, let’s just head back,” he said. “I brought you out here to show you how difficult it is. Now that you know, you can let the matter rest.”
“Of course it’s difficult,” I said, my voice rising. “I can’t even see the ghost! If I could see it, I could make a difference!”
Allan leaned back. “I don’t know what to do about that,” he said. “All ghosts have different levels of power and awareness. Greg is a fairly powerful spirit, and so you can see him. But even then, I’ll bet it took a while before he could show himself to you completely.”
He gestured with his hands as he spoke. “It takes time to grow accustomed to a ghost’s unique spiritual energy. This ghost here is very weak. Even if you became sensitive to it, you would probably never be able to see it.”
I furrowed my eyebrows as I thought. Maybe this whole endeavor was impossible.
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“I could possess you,” Greg said. I glanced up at him. He looked thoughtful. “After all, I can see the dead. If I possess you, then you might see the dead too.”
I shrugged. “It’s worth a try. I don’t have any better ideas.”
Allan looked uneasy. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Possession is too dangerous. Just earlier today you said that it would never happen again.”
“This has a chance at working,” I replied. “If you can think of something better, we’ll do that instead.”
Allan stared at me for a long moment before he finally shook his head. “Be careful,” he whispered.
Taking a deep breath, I looked up at Greg and nodded. A second later, he disappeared from view and I felt the icy chill of possession. I shivered.
“You alright?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I responded. As I turned back to the porcelain plates, I tried to see the ghost. There was nothing there. Disappointment filled me, but as I stared, something started to take shape. I leaned forward in anticipation. It was hazy at first, but within seconds I could make out the form of a little girl. I shivered again.
She was staring up at the plates, her back towards me. Her tattered dress made her look like a pilgrim—a far cry from the Middle Ages.
Allan was watching me closely. “Do you see her?” he asked.
“I do,” I whispered back.
“Then do whatever you’re going to do quickly,” he said, sounding worried. “The longer you’re possessed, the more harm it does to you.”
I nodded as I sucked in a shaky breath. Stepping forward, I knelt down beside the little girl. “Hello,” I whispered. The girl didn’t acknowledge me. She just kept staring at the plates.
“I don’t think that will work,” Allan whispered. “Ghosts are so used to living people not seeing them that they tend to tune them out.”
“He’s right,” Greg added grudgingly, his voice echoing through my head. “We’re so fixated on what is tethering us to this realm that we cannot ponder upon anything else. I didn’t notice you until you broke my sword.”
“Then I’ll just have to get her attention,” I muttered. Reaching out, I picked up one of the plates and held it high. The ghost suddenly whirled around and for the first time, I could see her white face. Her eyes were bulging with rage and terror.
“Put it down!” she screamed. Her voice was thin and watery. I could barely hear her. “Put it down! Put it down! Put it down! Don’t touch it! Don’t break it!”
Her appearance flickered and for a moment I saw a skeleton, then rotting flesh, then the little girl again. I swallowed, my mouth dry. “Why are you worried about the dishes?” I asked. My voice was shaking. I’d gotten used to Greg, so for some reason, I thought other ghosts wouldn’t frighten me. I was wrong. As the little girl’s wide eyes met mine, I could feel my skin crawl.
“My mum told me to watch them,” she said. Her face was filled with horror. “She told me that they might break as we sailed here, so I had to watch them and make sure they didn’t crack.” Great big tears began to fall from her eyes. “I watched the plates for days and days and days. Even when I got sick I kept watching them!”
I carefully placed the plate on the floor as I moved away from her. The little girl’s voice was rising. The hair on my arms stood on end.
“My body got cold and it wouldn’t move anymore, so the men threw it in the ocean,” she cried, “but I kept watching the dishes! I knew my mum would tell me when I could stop.” Her voice was a shriek now. “I’m waiting for my mummy! She’s got to come back for her dishes!”
The reality of what I was doing slammed into me. This was scary, I could readily admit that, but I hadn’t prepared myself for the heartbreak. I should have. I mean, if someone couldn’t move on after they died, they obviously had something to be upset about. But for some reason I was still taken by surprise. This little girl was scared and alone, and had been for hundreds of years. How could Allan pass her by, day after day, and not help her?
“Your mother isn’t coming,” I whispered. “She’s moved on now, but she’s waiting for you.” I could feel the heat of tears building up behind my eyes. I hated to cry, but this was hitting me hard. Every little girl should be able to find her mom. “You don’t have to watch the dishes anymore. You can leave them. Go find your mother.”
The little girl stared at me for a long moment, but then her face twisted in rage. I fell back in alarm as she started to yell. It was awful. I wanted to cover my ears and shut out the piercing sound, but it was in my head. Her image began to contort. “I can’t leave!” she screamed. “Someone wicked will break the dishes! Someone will crack them! Mother will be so cross!”
“This bodes ill,” Greg muttered in my head.
The flashlight that Allan was holding started to flicker on and off. Dropping it to the floor, he moved to my side, pulling me back. I fought him to stay where I was. I had to see this through to the end.
“What if I promised to watch them?” I cried out. The little girl turned her head to me. “What if I watch the dishes while you go and find your mother?” The terrible scream was tapering off until finally, there was only silence. The girl’s dead eyes bore into mine. “I’ll stay here and watch these plates for you,” I said, my voice unsteady.
The flickering of the flashlight slowed, until finally the beam was steady. “You’ll watch the plates?” the little girl asked. Her skirt swirled around her, as if being carried by invisible currents of water.
“I will,” I said.
“You promise that not a single one will get broken?” she asked.
“I swear it.”
She stared at me for a while longer. I could see tears well up in her eyes. “I can go find my mummy now?” she choked. The tears fell from her eyes, rolling down her cheeks and gathering at her chin. “I can see my mummy, and my daddy, and all my brothers and sisters again?” she asked.
I nodded and tried to smile. I couldn’t trust my voice. At the end of it all, she was just a little girl, a little girl who was lost.
Through her tears, I could see that her eyes were full of hope. “Thank you,” she whispered. Turning her head, she looked around for a moment, and then her eyes locked onto something that I couldn’t see. A broad grin stretched across her face as her image flickered, then faded, and at last, disappeared altogether. I let out a deep breath and shakily picked up the plate I’d left on the floor.
“What an empty oath,” Greg muttered. “If you broke a sword, you’ll have each of these plates smashed to bits in seconds.”
“Ha ha,” I thought back as I returned the plate to its holder. “Now get out of my head.”
A moment later, the cold feeling was gone, leaving me numb and drained. My head hurt. Greg stood beside me now, barely distinguishable from the shadows of the room.
“Are you feeling okay?” Allan asked as I turned to face him.
I rubbed my head. “I think so,” I murmured. I felt out of breath like I’d just been running, but the dizziness was already starting to fade. As I stared at Allan, I realized that he was looking at me with an odd expression on his face. “What is it?” I asked.
“Nothing,” he said as he took a step away from me. “You did—you did a really good job.”
I gave him a shrewd look. I couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not. “It seemed too easy,” I said. “Was that really it? Did I really help her move on?”
Allan nodded. “Probably,” he said. “Some ghosts are holding on to very little, even something as simple as a misunderstanding.” He took a deep breath, his expression growing uneasy. “Of course, most ghosts are a different story. Usually they’re born of violent deaths and they are much harder to get rid of. I’m sure you’ve discovered as much with Greg.”
I glanced up at Greg and he just shrugged. With another deep breath, I returned my gaze to Allan. “That little girl was stuck for so long,” I whispered. “You’ve done your show in this room a bunch of times. How could you never even try to help her? She was just a little girl.”
Allan let out a heavy sigh as he stood up. “I see hordes of them.” His voice was soft, almost inaudible. “I hear their constant murmuring in my head. It’s not that I don’t want to help them, it’s just—if I let my heart break for every one of them, I would go crazy.” He gave me a wry smile. “Come on, we should be heading back. We both have work in the morning.
The walk back to the dorms was a quiet one. It gave me a long time to mull over Allan’s words. He had a point, I supposed, but I still couldn’t bring myself to agree with him. Even if it was only a few, I wanted to help as many people as I could.
When we finally reached my door, Allan hesitated. Turning toward me, he looked down and fidgeted with the flashlight. “Thank you,” he said after a moment. Reaching up, he ran his hand through his hair. “To tell you the truth,” he continued, his voice hushed, “I’ve never really wanted to see ghosts as people. I haven’t wanted to live with the guilt of knowing that I just ignored them when maybe I could have helped. It was easier to tell myself that it wasn’t my responsibility and that there were just too many.”
He laughed quietly. “But you really showed me up tonight. You know, maybe the numbers don’t really matter. There are still countless ghosts out there, but because of you, one little girl got to go home and that’s just—that’s incredible.” He smiled, a wide, genuine smile. “You made a difference tonight. Thank you.”
I returned the smile and elbowed him in the gut. “I hope you know what this means. You have to take me on another ghost hunt now.”
He laughed. “I’ll find a harder one next time. We’ll see how you do with a challenge.” He thought for a moment. “How about two days from now, at 1 A.M.? We’ll leave the castle for this one.”
I was intrigued. “Sounds good,” I said. “Sleep is for losers anyway.” I turned toward my door.
“I’ll see you then Jessi,” Allan said as he started back down the hall. I waved goodbye to him, then entered my room, closing the door behind me.
“Huzzah,” Greg said, materializing in the middle of the room, “the pale English pig is gone.”
“Oh be nice,” I said as I got into bed. I was exhausted. “He barely complained about you tonight.”
“To speak using your terms,” Greg said, sitting down on one of the boxes, “that boy gives me the creeps.”
“Really?” I asked as I set an alarm on my cell phone. “You’ve been dead for how long, and a living person is giving you the creeps?”
Greg scowled. “There’s something not right about him.”
“There’s something not right about your mom,” I responded.
“What?”
I laughed, but it soon morphed into a groan. “Wow I’m tired,” I said, burying my face in my pillow. “I just told a ‘your mom’ joke to a dead Scotsman. That’s got to be a new low.”
I closed my eyes as I heard Greg chuckle. “You are a strange lass,” he whispered. I could tell he was smiling as he spoke. “I do not understand half of what you say, but I can almost always understand your meaning. You are lighthearted and cynical, all at the same time.” He laughed again. “You remind me of someone I knew.”
“I do?” I asked, my voice muffled by the pillow. I didn’t have the energy to open my eyes.
“Aye,” he whispered, his voice growing quieter, “someone I knew when I was alive.”
Slowly, I opened my eyes. Greg was telling me about himself. Maybe seeing that little girl move on tonight was inspiring him to be reflective. Maybe he was feeling more ready to escape his haunted state.
“Who was it?” I asked, hoping he would continue.
He stared off into nothing, his image barely visible. “My sister,” he murmured. He took a heavy breath. “She was so spirited and so sure of what she wanted in life. She could not be bullied into anything she disliked, and she certainly never gave ear to me.”
A heartbroken smile stretched across his lips. “She thought me too inflexible in my opinions and too grim in my demeanor.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I never told her how important she was to me, how much I just wanted to keep her safe. I was selfish and I—I never got a chance to tell her how very sorry I was.”
After a long moment of silence, he opened his eyes again and turned his gaze to me. “Thank you, Lady Jessica,” he whispered. “For all these long centuries, I have lost what it means to be human. I have forgotten who I was. All I wanted was to torment others and make them feel the same fear that plagued me.” He smiled again. “But you would not be bullied. Instead, you befriended me. You made me feel human again.” His image blurred. “Thank you,” he whispered. Then he vanished altogether.
I sat up in a panic, my sleepiness forgotten. Was that—was that it? Did Greg just move on? “Wait!” I said aloud, stumbling out of bed, “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, you can’t leave yet! You can’t just leave without warning!”
Greg appeared in the middle of the room, his expression bewildered. “What are you on about? I always leave without warning.”
I fell back against my bed, relief flooding through me. “Oh gosh,” I breathed. “You were getting so heartfelt there that when you disappeared, I thought you were moving on into the afterlife!”
Greg laughed, a full-bodied, boisterous laugh. “Heaven’s no!” he cried. “Don’t be thinking you’ll get rid of me that easily!” His laugher died down and he gave me a bearded grin. “I’m grateful for all you’ve done for me, but there is much more tying me to this realm.”
“Maybe it’s horrible of me to say,” I said, “but I’m glad for that. I don’t know what I’d do without you Gréagóir.”
He looked pleasantly surprised. “You said my name right.”
“Don’t expect it to happen again,” I said as I lay down and closed my eyes. “Goodnight you creep.”
I heard him chuckle. “Goodnight deirfiúr.”
He disappeared before I could ask him what the word meant. Maybe I would question him in the morning, if I remembered.
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အိမ်မက်မဟုတ်သောအိမ်မက်
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