《The Goth, the Ghost, and the Jester》Chapter 4

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“No,” I muttered as I picked up the box and carried it into my room, “no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!”

I dropped the box on my floor and the lid fell open, revealing the sword inside. I wanted to start screaming in frustration, but it was a little bit after five o’clock in the morning. Angry screaming was probably not the best way to wake up my fellow employees.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” I hissed, “You awful, worthless sword—why won’t you just leave me alone?” I couldn’t resist. Stepping forward, I kicked the box as hard as I could. The satisfaction of watching it move was overshadowed by the sharp pain in my toes.

“I’m so sick of being scared!” I whispered as I hopped up and down, rubbing my foot. “So guess what? I’m just not going to be scared anymore!” Lowering my foot to the ground, I curled my hands into fists.

“You can’t scare me out of working here, dead guy,” I muttered. “You might think you can scare me, but you can’t! I’m the scariest thing there is! I’m a gothic teenager, and you can’t top that.” Kneeling down, I tossed the hilt and the blade back into the box and slammed the lid shut. “This is war,” I hissed, “and you’re going down.”

At this point it seemed useless to try and get rid of the sword again, so I just pushed it back underneath the mountain of junk. Standing up, I took a deep breath. I had no idea what I was going to do against a ghost, but I knew what could help me.

I just had to get through a day of work first.

Staying awake was almost unbearable. I followed Shelly around like a zombie and when it was finally all over, I shuffled into the great hall to eat a quick dinner. Tonight, the entertainment was a small folk band and just as I was finishing up dinner, Brittney came by and asked if I was feeling better. I assured her that I was. After I was done, I left the great hall and headed for the northeast tower of the castle.

It was time for me to formulate my battle plan.

On the ground floor of the tower was the computer room, tucked away so that the modern technology didn’t disrupt the rest of the medieval vibe. Pushing open the thick wooden door, I slipped inside. It was like stepping into another century. Being in this castle and seeing people dressed up all the time was kind of trippy, and even though I loved it, I really missed wireless internet.

Still, I hadn’t escaped the dark ages altogether. One computer was being used by a middle-aged woman in a flowing green dress, and another two were being used by little boys wearing medieval tunics as they played video games.

Walking over to the far side of the room, I took a seat and turned the computer on. As I waited for it to start up, I glanced over my shoulder. No one was paying me any attention. I exhaled a sigh of relief.

Opening up a search engine, I rested my hands on the keyboard. The cursor blinked in the thin little box.

‘How to exorcize a ghost’, I typed. Then I hit enter.

A page full of websites popped up and I clicked on a few of them dubiously. They were all pretty stupid. They said stuff like, ‘Think good thoughts and tell the spirit to move on!’ I rolled my eyes. Something told me that getting rid of the monster haunting me was going to be a bit more complicated than that.

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As I scrolled through a few more websites, I couldn’t find anything that was much better. Just talking to the spirit sounded dumb to me, but honestly, what did I know? Nothing, obviously, if I was looking for answers online. With a sigh, I stood up and grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil from next to the printer. Upon sitting back down, I began taking notes from each website I visited. A lot of them talked about cleansing the area that was haunted by using a variety of methods. One was holy water, but I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to get my hands on any of that.

The next thing that was mentioned several times was sage. I didn’t know what it was supposed to do, but it at least seemed possible to obtain. Opening up a new window, I searched for stores in the nearest town. Tomorrow was my day off, so I’d have time to go into town and buy the things I needed. After searching for a few minutes, I found one little shop called The Black Cat that looked promising. I jotted down the address and then logged off of the computer. Tomorrow that ghost was going down.

***

I slept in the bathroom again that night. I didn’t see the ghost, but at some point during the middle of the night, I heard weird muttering in my head. I knew the ghost was responsible. He was speaking in a different language, but I wasn’t able to recognize it. If I had to guess, I would say that it was European, like Scandinavian or Irish maybe. I really didn’t know. I could, however, catch the occasional English word.

“Gibberish gibberish, death, gibberish, cold and cruel, gibberish, sword…”

It went on. You get the idea—really sweet, heart-warming stuff.

The constant noise made it almost impossible to sleep, but I didn’t mind as much this time since I didn’t have work in the morning. When the sun came up, the muttering tapered off, so I returned to my room and slept in a few more hours. It was after one o’clock in the afternoon when I finally woke up and went to the dining room for some food. I then returned to my room and got dressed as a normal, non-medieval human being. That is, as normal as I could get.

I didn’t want to draw too much attention to myself, so I toned down my appearance some. Instead of going all-out goth, I just wore some black leggings and combat boots, with a long gray shirt. My make-up was lighter than usual, and out of laziness I didn’t put in all my earrings. It was the perfect balance of ‘I’m gloomy, don’t talk to me’ while not quite reaching, ‘run for the hills, there’s a vampire.’

Exiting the dorms, I walked around the curve of the castle to the front gate where the bus’s drop-off zone was. The bus came and went on the hour, so I didn’t want to show up late and miss it. When I got there, I saw a big group of tourists getting off and retrieving their bags and when the flow of people ebbed, I climbed aboard. A few other people climbed in after me, but no one paid me a second glance.

It was about a twenty five minute drive into town. On my way, I spotted a grand total of three Amish buggies. I didn’t have much of a basis for comparison, but that seemed like a lot of buggies.

When the bus finally pulled into town, I climbed off and pulled up a map on my phone. The Black Cat was no more than a ten minute walk away. Stowing my phone back in my pocket, I started moving.

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After a few minutes passed, I glanced around nervously. I wasn’t in the busiest part of town anymore and the buildings here were kind of sketchy. It took me a while to find what I was looking for, but I spotted it at last. There was a little shop with a faded wooden sign hanging over the door. The Black Cat, it said in peeling paint.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed open the door and stepped inside. The smell of incense greeted me. I lingered near the door as I took everything in. The shelves and cubbies were packed to the brim with herbs, candles, books, crystals, and jewelry. I took a small step forward, my eyes searching for the things I needed.

“Hello!” a voice chimed out, diverting my attention. I glanced down to see a little woman coming around the corner. She smiled brightly at me. “Can I help you find anything?”

“Uh, yeah,” I said, pulling a piece of paper from my pocket. I looked down at my almost illegible handwriting. “Do you have any smudge sticks?” I asked. “I saw them online and I think they’re just a bundle of sage that—”

“We sure do honey,” the lady interrupted with a nod. “We have some just over here.”

“Thanks,” I said as I followed her around the corner. She brought me to a low shelf that carried a few baskets filled with sage.

“Is there anything else I can help you find?” she asked, her smile still wide.

I glanced at my list. “Uh, nope, I think I’ll be able to find the rest myself. Thank you.”

“Sure thing,” she said as she waddled off.

As soon as she was gone, I grabbed one of the bundles of sage and then I crossed the room to peruse the candles. I’d hoped to get a couple, but when I saw the prices, I opted for just one. Almost as an afterthought, I grabbed a small packet of matches. It would have done me little good to bring these things back to my room and not have a way to light them. With the sage, candle, and matches in hand, I walked over to the front of the store. The little round lady was there, waiting for me.

“Did you find everything you need?” she asked.

I nodded. “I think so.”

“That’ll be $17.50,” she said. I handed her a twenty. As she put my stuff in a bag, she handed me a flyer.

“If you’re interested,” she said, pointing to the face on the flyer, “right next door is Lorelei. She’s a psychic who does tarot card readings and mediumship. She’s very good.”

I took the flyer and stuck it in my bag with the rest of my stuff. “Thank you,” I said as I pocketed my change and headed out the door.

As I walked back to the bus, I couldn’t stop an excited nervousness from twisting in my stomach. Come nightfall, I would get rid of this ghost for good.

***

I struck a match against the box. The tiny flame burst into life and I fought to keep my hands steady as I lit the candle. I’d returned to the castle a couple of hours ago, so it was fairly dark now. I don’t know why I waited for it to get dark. It would have felt weird trying to contact a ghost during the day, but now I was wishing I had. Everything was so much scarier at night.

Moving slowly, I brought the candle over to the middle of my room and gently set it on the floor. I’d already opened the wooden box and the broken sword lay on the floor beside the candle. Reaching into the bag for the last thing I’d bought, I took out the smudge stick. Holding the bundle of sage over the flame, I waited for it to catch on fire. Once it was lit, I blew it out and let the red embers continue to smoke. I waved it around a little bit before setting it down on a saucer I’d swiped from the kitchen.

Now to turn off the light.

Standing up, I crossed the room and reached for the switch. Gathering my courage, I turned it off, plunging my room into darkness. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the flickering light of the candle. As I crossed the room and sat down, I unfolded the paper I’d taken notes down on the day before. My writing was hard to read in the dark, but I could make out just enough.

Clearing my throat, I glanced up. “Um, hello,” I mumbled, clearing my throat again. I felt like a terrified idiot right now. “I, uh, would like to invite the spirit who’s been haunting me to reveal himself.” I looked around, but nothing happened. I really hoped no one in the neighboring rooms could hear me.

“I wish to speak to the spirit who’s been haunting me,” I continued, “I want the spirit to know that I am not afraid.” My voice was shaking. The ghost had to know I was full of crap. “I will not let you haunt me anymore. I invite you to leave me alone.” I paused again, but still there was nothing. I might as well just be talking to myself.

Glancing at my notes, I tried a new tactic.

“I want you to know that you are, in fact, a ghost,” I began again. This one seemed like a stretch to me. “You may not know that you’ve passed, but I can assure you that you are dead.” A lot of the websites insisted that some ghosts didn’t realize they were ghosts at all. It sounded stupid, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try.

“I’m sure it’s really confusing,” I rambled on, “because you’re in a castle and everything, and maybe there were castles around when you were alive, I don’t know, but you are totally dead. Let go of whatever is keeping you stuck here and go towards the light.”

Still nothing.

I heaved a sigh and waved the paper over the candle’s flame. The paper smoked a little bit, but didn’t catch fire. What was I doing? If I was a ghost, I sure wouldn’t move on after hearing something as cliché as ‘go towards the light’.

I crumpled the paper and tossed it across the room. “Why are you haunting me?” I asked the empty air. “I didn’t mean to break your sword! It was a mistake and I’m really sorry. I’m just trying to save money for college next semester and I want to be able to sleep at night! Could you please just leave me alone?”

The candle flickered and I felt a sudden chill on the back of my neck. My heart pounding, I sat up straighter. I couldn’t see anything yet, but I could feel a definite change in the air. I wasn’t alone in my room.

The back of my mind prickled with icy laughter.

Laughter probably wasn’t a good sign.

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