In front of me is a magical table! A fucking magical table!!!

It’s not breathing fire or talking, that would be ridiculous.

However, anything put onto the table surface floats slightly, just a centimetre above the surface and knocking the object causes it to glide over the table.

Already on the table is a metal disc and two metal stubs with a hand guard protecting them, with both of these positioned at either end of the rectangular table.

To stop these object from flying off them tables when knocked, the edges of the table are raised to form a small barrier around the tables sides.

However, on two opposite ends of the table were small gaps that would allow the disk to fit through, but not the two other objects.

This wasn’t the only strange thing in the room, in fact the room was filled with them

In a corner was a square block with small unknown animal carvings poking out of holes cut into it, with a mallet lying besides them, connected to the block by a thin rope.

From here on, the objects get stranger to the point that I can’t properly describe them, never mind attempt to understand their purpose.

This was labelled, ‘Recreational Area’, so I imagine these are all suppose to be used for entertainment, but how?

Bringing my attention back to the table, I don’t see any runes on the tables surface, so it is likely underneath. Unless this magic uses something different to power it, not that I can begin to dismantle everything in the room to learn its secrets. Even though I really want to, we have a job to do.

Beep.

Beep. Beep.

Beep. Beep.

Looking over to the source of the beeping, I see Finnian holding a mallet and whacking animal carvings that keep popping in and out of the holes in the cuboid device at seemingly random intervals.

*Finnian POV*

These things just won’t stop taunting me! I’ll show those bastards. They’ll see!

Another of the ‘bastards’ exits his hidey-hole and I bring down the mallet I was generously supplied with onto the creatures head.

But I was too slow, by the time I reacted it was back in its hole and another two had popped up. Retreating again before I could get there.

It appears I’m going to need advanced tactics to stop these incessant fiends!

Nobody is allowed to taunt me like this.

NOBODY!!!

With this I wait.

Only focusing on a singular animal, waiting for it to rear its mocking head so I can finally crush it.

AHA!

The second it began to rise I drove my mallet down, hitting it with a resounding thud.

Beep.

Not only do the others still have the gall to continue their impudent taunting, the one I finally did hit appears undamaged and is once again in his hidey-hole.

Those bastards will learn!

With renewed vigor, I smash two more of the overconfident pricks.

Beep. Beep.

... How dare they! Take this!

Beep. Beep.

To further insult me, the original one popped up again, staying out of his hole slightly longer than usual before narrowly avoiding another beating.

I’ll smash you all into oblivion, just you see…

Smash!

Smash!

Smash!

Beep.

*End of POV*

Soon the whole room was filled with a wide array of beeps and dings. With everyone occupied in their own world of highly illegal magic devices.

But me and Torben were doing real work.

By that I mean we are testing if this magical table is a threat. Which therefore requires… a thorough investigation.

For the past ten minutes, both me and Torben have put our own body on the line to ensure the safety of our comrades. No, the safety of the entire human race.

After all, who knows what insidious magical plot could be behind the creation of this device.

Naturally, our bravery is unparal-

Beep.

Goddamn it, I got distracted.

A moment later the disk that slipped past my defence was ejected from the slot it disappeared into and glides towards the opposite end of the table where Torben stood, ready to continue this deadly battle of reflexes.

“Prepare yourself, inferior magic disc warrior!”

Which is what we’ve decided this extreme thing should be called. The ‘Magic Disk Warrior Table’!

As the metal disc reaches Torben end of the table, his arm tenses just a moment before it lashes out towards the disc, bouncing it off the tables side guard as it races towards me.

Rather than smash it back towards him, I decide to use a technique only possible to the highly advanced cunning minds of the quickly growing world of Magical Disc Warriors.

…The feint!

First I have to set up the highly tactical move by blocking the moving disc and stopping it in place.

Done.

Now for stage two, a very witty taunt to put the opponent on edge as he anticipates a heavy handed strike. MeHeHe! How foolish he shall feel before my tactical skills.

“Torben, prepare yourself for my super speedy, you gotta move fast, ultimate move. The super brawler strike!”

Preparation, done.

Now for the execution!

I move my hand forwards as quick as I can manage whilst avoiding actually hitting the disc.

Instead, I loop around the disc in a full circle and shoot my hand outwards like a coiled viper.

As my hand does this I notice Torbens gaze is to the left of me.

By the time I can make out his warning and correspond that to the emerging shouts around me it is too late.

All I can glimpse from the corner of my vision is a large paw racing at my face, which connects at the same time as my hand reaches the disc.

The floor rises towards me as the world fades to black.

Beep.