《I Am Not The Main Character》1.16.1 Iris Black
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*One Month Ago*
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The fort lay in ruins.
Her people lay dead.
Enemies executed the men.
Slaughtered the children.
Burned the women.
Iris watched from afar.
Orange flames and black smoke.
The stench of burning flesh.
A dance of death.
She wailed.
And wailed.
And Wailed.
Until the next sun rose.
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The day before.
It was her thirtieth winter.
Iris Black was a proud warrior among her people, and on this day, she would finally inherit the Black name and be formally counted as a protector. She had to work tirelessly for years in order to earn her name.
It took her years to become recognized among her tribe. Until today, she had always been commonly referred to as Little Iree.
Her full height was 6ft 4in. But that was considered small among her kind, who were large, stocky, and hardy. Most of her brethren were wide with thick muscle and fat. In contrast, she had much less muscle, built leaner. Her legs let her fly across the plains, leaving the others choking on her dust. Despite this, she had to wait thirty years to become truly recognized.
"Congratulations, Iris!"
"Congrats!"
"You worked hard!"
"Heh, you still have a long way to go."
Her friends and companions looked down on her, patting her back with enough force to make her cough.
"Ah. Sorry, sorry, I've already forgotten that you used to be our Little Iree. Bahaha!"
Riah spoke in his deep voice. Boulder-sized fists on his hips, he roared in raucous laughter. He was 7ft 2in, looking down at Iris past his nose. He was actually two years younger than her and had already been a Black for three years. He would have been considered a late bloomer if it wasn't for Iris.
"She deserves respect! This is her day, so cease teasing her."
Leya, the only other female in their group, reprimanded Riah. She wasn't as wide as Riah but was absolutely covered in bulging muscle. Slightly taller than Iris, standing at 6ft 8in, Leya was the kind of person obsessed with muscle and wouldn't be satisfied until she had muscles on her muscles. If she squeezed her eyebrows together, she could crack a walnut.
"That's just how he is, Leya. He has trouble controlling his enthusiasm."
Polm tried to appease Leya, gesturing with his hands in a calming manner. Polm was the youngest of the group. His voice was much higher than the others, yet he was taller than Riah at a total height of 7ft 4in.
Despite his towering height, Polm had a calm nature that allowed him to sneak up on prey. His size hindered him in some scenarios, but he grew past this since his presence usually went unnoticed if he stayed still or moved slow enough.
"Come now, let us celebrate. I traded Riktor a good hunting knife for some booze."
Yule was the de facto leader of their group. Despite acting mischievously at times, he's very professional when hunting and leading. The others weren't suited to the role or had no interest in it. Yule was average in looks and height at about 7ft. He didn't have boundless muscle or extraordinary smarts, but he had enormous talent for the spear. The spear he wielded was 8ft long, which he carried with him at all times like his baby. Yule earned the Black name at nineteen, the youngest in generations.
"A drink sounds nice."
There were only five of them in their generation.
A few generations back, their people used to roam the north's plains, traveling freely from place to place as they wished. Then they started being hunted for sport. Trophies would be taken off their bodies. At times... there wasn't enough left to bury.
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The remaining tribes gathered and decided to put down roots. They used a mountain pass leading to the farthest northern reaches as a natural fort and settled down. The prairies to the south where they used to roam had been encroached upon and colonized. The area north of the pass was filled with barren wasteland and harsh cliffs inhabited by scarier things than humans.
With little choice, they built up this fort. They could retreat if need be, but the humans didn't want this land to begin with, so they didn't come around often. In the few encounters they had, humans either ran away helplessly or a member of their tribe never returned.
Now they all grouped together. About fifty remained of their once vast numbers. Half were elderly. They remembered the days when they roamed the prairies and bitterly resented humans. The younger ones had to keep them from wandering out in a daze.
The adults were the second group, making up about a quarter of the population. Iris and her group were a part of this demographic. The others had all settled down.
The rest were made up of children or teens who couldn't hold a weapon. Riah actually had a little boy and girl at home. His mate took care of them, hanging up her weapon long ago. Now Riah went out with the rest of her group, providing for them. He was good-natured despite his raucous disposition. Every time they went out on hunts, he would brag about his kids. He repeated how little Eric managed to lift a shield above his head several days in a row.
Right now, each of them was sitting in a circle swapping stories surrounding Iris.
"Remember that lizard we were fighting? I think it was called a Kobold. Iris tried to take it on with a shield but was completely thrown into the air, landing in a heap of dung. The stench stuck to her for days!"
Leya hit her leg as she laughed at the memory.
"It was a King, nearly as large as Riah! And I seem to recall someone slipping on said dung at the beginning of the fight."
Iris countered with fervor.
"How was I supposed to see such small dung in a dark cave? You were lower to the ground; you should have spotted it."
"Polm was the one scouting ahead; he should have known there were forty kobolds all living together in their own cesspool."
The conversation moved to Polm.
"That was the first time we fought kobolds, and we had already fought our way through two hundred of them. For such a small cave, it should have been impossible to fit that many."
Polm tried justifying his slip up, claiming common sense.
"Isn't Yule the one who keeps saying a scout should always expect the unexpected?"
"I said that we should all learn to expect the unexpected. Doubly so for the scout."
Polm looked dejected while Riah was slapping the ground in amusement.
"Hahahahah, he's got you by the horn Polm!"
Riah sent some of his booze flying with his laughter.
"Oi, don't waste it. If you are just going to spit it out then hand it here."
Leya demanded.
"Sorry, sorry. I'll drink it. I'll drink it. I promise."
Riah was starting to slur his words. He could never hold his liquor.
"Have I told you about my son? Eric can already lift a shield above his head-"
"Ah, not again."
"Riah, this is the eighth time."
"Really? Well, I'll tell it again!"
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"It's no use trying to stop him when he gets like this. Just leave him be."
Iris laughed along, enjoying the night.
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Yule nudged Iris awake.
The sun was up. Her head pounding.
"Uhhh."
Iris groaned. The sun was too bright. Bugs were too loud.
"'Uhhh,' don't give me that. You know we have to get to work. There is a horde of goblins coming closer to the fort; we need to get rid of them."
"I get it. I get it. Just... Give me a second."
Iris squinted, trying to get used to the sunlight. When her vision cleared, she could see Polm up already, rubbing his horn as a nervous habit. Leya was off to the side, doing jumping jacks, already in fit condition.
As Iris wobbled to her feet and rubbed her temples, she watched Yule walk over to Riah.
Riah was still lying down, curled into a giant ball while cradling his empty mug, still talking about his son in his sleep. Yule was rougher with Riah, kicking him in the ribs.
"Get up. It's already morning."
"Ooof. Huh? Emelia? Just five more minutes..."
Emelia was his wife.
Yule kicked him again.
"I said get up. We have to get to work."
"Oof! I'm up. I'm up!"
Riah jumped straight up, teetered, tilting toward his left. He almost fell back down, but he bumped into Polm.
"Ah. Thanks, Polm."
Turning to look at Riah, who was leaning against him, Polm spoke in a reserved voice.
"You're drooling..."
Yule looked around the group as they gathered and grabbed their weapons. Yule was already carrying his spear.
Both Riah and Leya grabbed war hammers large enough to crush a kobold flat. They liked to compete with each other—Leya for muscle and Riah for bragging rights.
Polm had two short swords that were more like longswords.
Iris grabbed her trusty longsword and round shield from nearby. None of them were wearing much armor as their skin was tough enough to block dull weapons. They were also usually the ones attacking. They all wore loose-fitting clothes and wore belts that they could hold their weapons.
"Alright. Now that you're all up, we should get started. Paula spotted a horde of goblins moving along the mountainside to the East, apparently moving in our direction. There shouldn't be more than a couple thousand, so if we take it slow, we should be able to cull them down in a day or two."
Goblins were small two-three foot green buggers that smelled like a mule's rear and looked worse. They gathered in large numbers but were relatively unintelligent. There are rare cases of smart goblins appearing who can lead larger hordes. They are usually classified as rare shamans or kings. A goblin redcap had been known to appear once or twice as well, but they didn't were the oddballs, acting as loners.
Two thousand goblins was a relatively small horde since they could get up to ten thousand or more. The largest horde in history had reached a million. Most people exterminated them whenever they found them, but they reproduced way too fast. They were about as strong as a human child but much more vicious. Alone they were quite cowardly.
For Iris and her group, two thousand could easily be crushed underfoot. The difference in size and power was just too great. They had to be careful not to be swarmed, but there wasn't much danger unless there are multiple shamans.
"Any questions?"
Yule looked to the assembled group. No one spoke up for a while, but Riah chimed in.
"Will we be back for dinner? I am supposed to show Eric how to shield bash tonight, and Emelia would be angry if I missed another meal."
"Even if we can't get rid of the whole hoard, as long as we whittle them down enough, we can leave them for the next day and get you home by dinner."
"Thanks."
"No problem. Anything else?
Head shakes.
"Let's move out then."
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Goblins were marching through a pine forest. Bickering amongst themselves and fighting for scraps of food, a disorganized lot. Some were defecating where they ate, while others engaged in lewd acts only a few feet away.
They were all rudely interrupted by giant figures charging straight at them.
"RIIIAAAH SMASH!!!"
Riah's hammer swung down, impacting the ground and the few goblins in between. The earth shook in outrage. When Riah lifted his hammer, there were only bloodstains and crumpled bone.
"That's three!"
"I've already got five!"
In contrast to Riah, Leya swung her hammer at an upward angle, catching more goblins with her swing, launching them into the air like an angry ent.
"Must you really compete every time?"
Polm took the goblins in one's and two's, making sure to end them quickly and wary of any playing dead.
"It's more fun this way!"
Riah bellowed as he smashed another three goblins flat.
"Six!"
"Eight!"
"Twelve."
Yule responded to the other's challenge and added his own count. He was currently dancing through the field of green vermin, twirling his spear, trying to get to the center where he could do the most damage. He could skewer them, but then they would get stuck on his spear, so he usually just swatted them.
"Shaman on your right, Leya!"
Iris was at the back, providing overwatch and looking out for any trouble. She took down a few goblins stupid enough to think she was the weak one of the group. They died quickly.
"On it!"
Leya stormed through, stomping a goblin underfoot. It felt gross as pieces stuck between her toes.
In seconds, she reached a wide-eyed shaman who was trying to cast a spell, throwing normal goblins in front of him to slow down the charging berserker. Swings of her hammer sent the goblins sky bound. She reached the shaman before it could finish casting and kicked.
Tougher than a bull and likely stronger than her war hammer, half of the goblin's body separated from the other. The top part flew off and impacted with a small tree, knocking it over. A pair of stubby legs toppled.
"Score!"
"That still only counts as one."
"Doesn't matter; I am still one ahead of you."
"Guys, please focus."
Polm was exasperated. They always acted so recklessly. Even if they are small and weak, they should be cautious. Didn't Yule mention something like that last night?
"It's no use, Polm. Leave them be. Just focus on not letting any get away."
Iris was trying to comfort Polm while keeping an eye out. Neither Leya nor Riah was in any danger at the moment, so she thought it was fine.
"It's not like they will get hurt-"
"IRIS!"
Yule yelled, pointing behind Iris.
Iris whipped around shield first.
*BOOM*
Iris was blown away by the impact.
Thrown off her feet, she tumbled and skipped along the ground, splattering several goblins in the process.
When she finally stopped, she looked back to where she had been standing, spotting a 9ft ogre walking out of between two large trees. Its arms were long enough to reach its knees, rippling with fat and muscle. The small tree it was using at a club was wrapped in a meaty fist.
Iris's arm was shaken, and her shield was still vibrating from the impact. She would have to thank Yule later.
A second ogre, just as large as the first, walked out as well—a giant hunchback with a potbelly, a large underbite, and an odor worse than goblins.
Two burgundy colored oafs.
"Riah. Leya. Take an ogre each! Iris, support them. Polm, help me finish these goblins."
There were still about a hundred goblins left in the group. The two of them could finish the job.
"On it!"
"Oooh. This is going to be fun!"
Riah and Leya broke off from their fights, ending a few lives in their path as they plowed toward the ogres. The ogre's let out bellows that shook the trees.
Iris rushed back to support them.
The ogres swung, shattering earth as both Riah and Leya sidestepping and struck. Synchronized, the ogres reeled, large bruises formed where hit. Noting there was a difference in strength, Iris was wary. She jumped in, slicing at the ogre's legs when she could. The skin was tougher than leather.
Several exchanges happened this way. Riah would usually aim for the ogre's belly and midsection while Leya stuck the arms and joints.
Soon, the first ogre fell. Iris ham-stringed it and watched it topple. Leya followed up by caving in the back of its skull.
Riah yelled.
"That is. Oof. Still. Ugh. Only one!"
Iris was about to turn to help Riah when she saw the incoming mace.
"LEYA!"
Leya buckled.
A 5ft tall, muscled goblin wearing necklaces made of teeth struck Leya.
"IT'S A KING!"
Iris tried to rush forward but felt the ground underneath her become soft. Stumbling.
"Yule! There are more shamans too!"
Polm spotted three shamans hiding behind where the King had emerged.
"Dammit! Polm, take the shamans. Riah, switch with me!"
Riah cursed under his breath but obeyed.
"I softened him up for ya."
Yule tagged Riah out and sent a flurry of strikes toward to remaining ogre with his spear.
Riah switched to slaughtering the remaining goblins seriously and efficiently.
The King was swinging down at Leya's head but missed when Leya rolled out of the way.
"Don't look down on me!"
Leya grabbed her hammer with both hands and winded up. Swinging at the King, she let out a battle cry.
The King was experienced, however. It swung its blade, deflecting enough of the force only to get thrown back a few feet.
Iris was hopelessly trying to get out of the mud. More goblin reinforcements were flooding out of the trees. She couldn't just stay trapped for long. They would soon be overwhelmed!
Yule thrust his spear into the ogre's kneecap, making it bend awkwardly. Pulling out, he thrust his spear straight up through the ogre's jaw and into its brain. The ogre paused and then tumbled down, shaking the earth.
"Polm!"
Polm appeared behind the shamans, thrusting his swords into one each. Two fell with a gurgle while the third fled.
"Oh no you don't."
Polm chased the last, cutting down goblins in his way before finally cutting off the last shaman's head.
Now free, Iris headed towards Leya and the King.
Leya swung down at the King, who had no choice but to receive the blow and sink into the developing mud. Iris approached from the side, thrusting a sword into its kidney. It coughed blood and was too late to react to Leya's kick. The King's face warped as it was flung away, its side getting ripped open from Iris's sword.
Heavy breaths. Drenched in green goblin blood and red innards. Leya smiled and nodded at Iris.
"Nice one Little Iree."
"Don't mention it."
The King coughed up a lung and a torn kidney, soon expiring. There was no second wind...
The rest of the battle was mostly clean up. The goblins kept coming until their numbers dwindled to a paltry size, quickly fleeing in all directions.
Everyone was breathing hard from the marathon. Covered from head to toe in filth, surrounded by gore and fresh corpses, they looked to one another.
Leya was the first to speak.
"230."
Riah gave a toothy grin.
"232."
Iris laughed first. Then Riah. Then Leya joined. Soon everyone was cackling, out of control.
=
"What's the final count?"
"About 800."
Yule frowned as he heard Polm's answer.
"Where did they all go?"
The original estimate Paula was around two thousand. Paula was old but not senile. She wouldn't mistake thousands for several hundred. The horde had a King, four shamans, and ogres, so it was likely just as dangerous, but the numbers were off.
"How many got away?"
"Just a few dozen. I scouted around, and there were no other large groups."
It would be odd if there were any leaders left after the lineup they just went through.
Yule could feel something wrong but didn't know what.
"For now, wash up and head back. We thinned their numbers and took out their leaders; they shouldn't be able to form a counterattack. Not within a few days, at least.
"Sounds good. I could use a bath."
Riah sniffed himself, wincing. There was a watering hole nearby.
Iris walked up to Leya, who was sitting down on a fallen tree. It might have been one of the ogre's weapons.
"Are you alright, Leya? I didn't see the King before he was on you."
Iris felt guilty. She had just become a Black. Her role as lookout this time turned out poorly, as she hadn't spotted the ogres or the King before it was too late.
Leya waved a hand, smiling.
"Don't worry about it. I was more surprised than hurt. I wasn't expected to get a body blow right after crushing that ogre's melon."
Leya tapped the side of her head with a thick finger. Iris smiled, knowing she was truly okay.
Iris grinned.
"Should we wash up and head back then? Better to stick together in case another King decides to sneak up on you."
"Ouch. Low blow."
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