Mari shut the door to Dainan's cell behind her, sighing. The book may not have been as useful as she had hoped, but they had a new plan. Keeping one hand on the wall to steady herself, Mari had to admit to herself that the plan... uh, what had Dainan called it, fear? Or was the right word afraid? The plan made her afraid. Despite Dainan's and Regan's warm words, Mari was not as certain as they were that she could convince the scholars and the guard. The only way she had been able to convince Dainan was not through words or even actions of her own. The only thing that convinced him were the actions of the Seven, how they used her. Regan had been hostile and unwilling to believe her even with Dainan's help. It was only the fact Mari had a fit over the memory that caused her to believe Mari.

Displaying the Seven's control over her was certainly out of the question, and Mari would not like to try to send herself into a fit. She had no control of herself while in that state, and she had never consciously caused one. If Mari tried to use it to convince the scholars and the guard, she had no guarantee she could do it or that it would work.

Mari stepped into her room. She carefully shut the door, turning and letting her head rest against the cool wood. Her temples throbbed. It took Mari a moment before she breathed and pushed off the door. She sunk her feet into the plush fabric on the floor, carpet, Dainan had told her once. Mari stopped at the dresser. The crown sat on top of it. Mari blinked and tilted her head. She had not remembered to grab it this time. She looked up at her reflection. Why did she normally take the crown with her every time she left the room? Why did she forget it this time? The first time she had worn it, Mari wanted everyone to look at her like they looked at her when the Seven controlled her. She certainly didn't want that anymore. When people looked at her like that, they weren't seeing her. She wanted people to see her as who she was, not as the Seven's figurehead. What did Dainan see when she wore his crown? Did he see the Seven? The girl who had taken everything from him? Or did he see her despite it all? Maybe she should ask. Maybe she shouldn't.

Mari groaned and rubbed her head. She wondered if she would ever stop having questions. Mari was beginning to believe she would always have them, even about the small things that didn't matter, like the story Dainan had been reading. She had so many insignificant questions she held back. For example, she wanted to ask if Dainan's past relative wore a crown and if that crown was actually the same one she had before her. How odd that would be, but she still wondered. What happened in the rest of the story? She had fallen asleep and had not heared the end. Did the prince ever take back his throne? What about the young woman who helped him and her friend who lived all alone in the forest?

Mari could have hit herself. She was getting distracted. Shutting her eyes, Mari ran her hands over her face and through her hair. Dainan had to be mistaken. She wasn't nearly as wise or smart as he seemed to think. Mari peered around her fingers. There was a problem to solve. How was she going to convince the scholars it had been the Seven who had done everything to them and that she didn't remember the details?

The pounding in her head made it difficult to focus. Mari took a seat on the edge of the bed. The room tilted, and she felt rather lightheaded. Had she eaten today? Mari grabbed her stomach, gritting her teeth. Her blood bubbled. She had to focus. She had to stop thinking about insignificant things. Her hunger could wait. Mari had to solve this problem.

Holding her head in her hands, Mari decided the best way to solve the problem was to examine her options. The easiest option before her was to do nothing. Mari could let Dainan explain everything for her, like with Regan. She could leave it to him to convince the scholars and guard. Mari trusted him that wasn't what caused her hesitation. It was the fact that this was her problem. Whether or not she ever agreed to this or liked it, the Seven were her issue. They were, in a way, part of her. They were the reason she was the way she was. They were her past. As the only person who had any contact with them, as their pet, Mari felt this was her problem to fix. She couldn't sit back and let everyone else fix it for her. She had to do something. All her life she had been a passive tool. Mari was sick of being passive. The Seven were her problem and her responsibility.

It may be easier to let Dainan do it for her, but it was the opposite of selflessness. Mari wanted Dainan's help, but she didn't want him to do everything for her. She needed him, yes, but she didn't need him to do everything for her. Mari didn't have to do this, but she wanted to. Mari wasn't willing to let go of her responsibility simply for her own comfort.

On the other hand, Mari knew that even if she could explain her situation, she still lacked anything convincing other than Dainan's word. The scholars hadn't been in the city when the Seven destroyed the wall. That was the only instance Mari could remember and could use as an example of the Seven's inhuman power. Maybe something had happened the day the Seven confronted Aeary again, or the day Balak and the twins took over, but Mari couldn't remember the details of the first instance and had blacked out for the majority of the second. She knew Balak had destroyed several buildings, but Mari did not know where or if it could be proof. Even so, would it be enough proof? If Mari could get her memories back of the day with Aeary, well... If Mari had her memories they may not even need the scholars. Mari's missing memories could solve a lot of her problems. But the only way she knew how to get them back was through a fit, and there were far too many issues with that, Mari's lack of control being the first.

A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. She was relived to find dinner had been brought up. She hoped eating something would clear the dizzying fog around her thoughts. Mari ate quickly, hoping the awful feeling would pass, but she was all too aware the only one to blame was herself. How could she forget to eat? Well it had always been rather easy for her to forget. It took Muraad's reminders when she was littler to remember to eat. He always seemed to enjoy her eating much more than she did. Mari knew it gave her energy, but when the Seven had been around all the time, she never really seemed to crave the energy. Now that they had been leaving her, she seemed to need to eat more often than she was accustomed to. She had been too caught up in her excitement and worry over the book and any information it had to remember to eat.

Of course, she had not realized before that eating too quickly when she felt faint would not help her either. Once she was done, her stomach continued to groan. Mari decided to lie down. She wanted to stop being so dependent on others, but she couldn't even take care of herself. How stupid was she to forget to eat that morning? It was a wonder she had managed to survive long enough without the Seven to even meet Dainan in the first place. She hated it. Mari hated how she wanted to solve this problem, but could not find an answer. She wanted to be active, to do good, to help, but she felt utterly useless. How could she help anyone when she couldn't help herself? She couldn't take care of herself much less take care of Dainan or Regan. How could she stand on her own feet when her entire life someone else had held her up with a set of strings? Her legs couldn't bear the weight. If she did not have Dainan and Regan to help her, she would fall.

She curled her legs underneath her and gripped the covers. Mari stared out at the empty bedroom; her stomach rolled as thoughts about the next day filled her head again. Her own voice questioned her, doubted her, and tormented her. She wanted to sleep hoping the pain she caused herself would go away, but was terrified of the pain she knew would come in her dreams. Either way, it would be her own harsh voice tearing her apart, forcing her to her knees.

What would happen tomorrow when she tried to stand? Mari did not know. She let her eyes close as she curled into the sheets. She had not solved her problem, and the nightmare was coming.