Corbin sat her down for a pre-dungeon tactics session. “The trick to this dungeon is you don’t go in at all until I give you the all clear, or until I’m nearly dead.”

“Seems daft, but all roight,” Prissy said, and gave him a carefree shrug.

“I’m faster, smaller, and less likely to aggro than you. Also dungeons are famous for traps.”

She shrugged again and gestured to the dark hole with her dagger. “Okay then, let’s go make some serious quid. Clock’s a- ticking.”

“You got any healing potions or special gear if we get in trouble?”

“You mean the backpack you made me leave in Grundel’s place, all the items I owned?”

“You don’t have to sound so surly about it. As I recall, you stole from me.”

“Git movin,” she said, and gave him a half-hearted stab with the dagger. He jumped and flapped aside, then turned and hopped toward the dungeon entrance.

She would have trouble squeezing into the area covered by the fallen slab of stone, the one mostly covering the stairwell down, but Corbin had no such trouble. He hopped down the stars and into the darkness.

You have entered a low level dungeon!

How exciting!

After the descent of perhaps fifteen feet, the place was all done in dressed and fitted stone, including the floor. It wasn’t a mine shaft, that was for sure. He wondered whether the darkness would bother him, but True Sight apparently gave him darkvision. He acclimated to the gloom without any trouble, and hopped several more steps before deciding to wing it.

​​This place had, once upon a time, been a subterranean temple of some kind. Sections were caved in, including several of the rooms off the main hall. This entry hall split left and right, and presumably led into a large donut-shaped hall, but the right fork was a wall of earth. So, even though right was never wrong, he took the left fork, spied a dead body that had been crushed from the waist down, the obvious sign of a trap. Beyond that, he came upon a group of two foot monkey-like bat-like creatures, mostly moist black skin and patchy fur, but jagged little teeth. These were in the middle of feasting on some other poor creature, but perked up as soon as he swooped in over their heads. Several of them hissed and spat at him, and threw the meal aside in order to give chase.

“I’ve found something,” he told her. “Head down, but stop at the fork. And search for traps. There’s at least one that I found.”

“Copy that, Corbity-Corb,” she said. “Wot’s it?”

“I didn’t have time to inspect any of them… monkey bats. Hideous little things.” A stone or shard of bone plocked off the dungeon wall beside him, and he picked up the pace, past the crushed corpse, and around the corner.

He flew up toward Priscilla, around her head, and back toward the things. One of them peeked around the corner, sniffed, and went very still. The other cocked an ear, sniffed, and fell into a clear pack hunting pattern. He sighted one in and tried to get a bead on what it was.

You have inspected the monster:

Cave Gibbon

Level 3 beast

68/68 HP

Pack hunters who typically go after defenseless prey, like you.

“If it gets too hairy, I want you to scream and thrash like a spider just landed on your face,” he told her, and showed the damn prompt what defenseless really meant. He got in a good peck, scoring two whole points of damage, before he was swatted aside.

Meanwhile Prissy got the first one with a series of Spectral Blade slashes until it ‘died to death’ as she put it, and fell back when the second one leapt onto her face. It must have scored some hits, because she cried out, but soon enough it too was stabbed to death. She lay there bleeding, breathing hard, and then soon after, laughing.

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

“Not even a lil bit,” she told him. “I used to teach lil nippers this size. Jes’ bringin’ back some memories is all.”

Those must’ve been some interesting memories.

You have defeated 2 Cave Gibbons!

You gain 130 xp

You have gained 30 silver.

Error, you cannot carry items or money.

You have gained Black Gibbon Pelt.

Error, you cannot carry items or money.

You have gained Enlarged Throat Sac.

Error, you cannot carry items or money.

And then a pack of five of them whirled around a corner, screaming and snapping and rebounding off walls, the ceiling, each other. Prissy got in one good hit before they started climbing her like a wall, scratching, and biting. She let one of the hits go through, because all of a sudden:

You have been hit! You’ve suffered 8 damage.

“Lil help there?” she yelled.

Oh, right.

He quickly activated Unsettling Aura, and really enjoyed the way the heavy bass thud reverberated through the hall. Every one of the cave gibbons dropped off Prissy and screeched for dear life, while she stabbed with the spectral blade. Now he was able to see her wounds begin to close right before his eyes. One of them screamed a very human shriek, before it was dead, and this caused a fresh round of panic through the others. They tried scattering, but Prissy had another two of them heavily wounded before they got far.

He didn’t know if the Aura was dependent on how many times he let out a hideous multiplied caw of terror, so he held back until they started to come after her again. She threw both daggers, pulled her second while she reactivated the spectral blade, and finished off two of the remaining four.

She’d been a teacher before this?

The last two gathered up their courage, but it was already too late. They evaded a couple of her strikes, but every time they bit down, she was already healing up with life leech. He let out a terrifying caw the second time they got claws into her, and was gratified to see the power holding up. Apparently the more noise he made, the quicker the effect ended. Good to know.

She was bloody up to the elbows by the time she’d finished them off, and he watched while the blood slowly retreated into the spectral blade.

“Keeps ya clean!” she chirped.

“You used to be a teacher, huh?”

“They shoulda learned their lesson the first time.”

You have defeated 5 Cave Gibbons!

You gain 325 xp

You have gained 75 silver.

Error, you cannot carry items or money.

You have gained 4 Black Gibbon Pelts.

Error, you cannot carry items or money.

You have gained Enlarged Throat Sac.

Error, you cannot carry items or money.

Corbin hopped back and forth, regarding her with his single-eyed stare. “You were just wondering if any of these were your students, weren’t you?”

Prissy laughed some more. “Course I wos. Had a bloody bad one, I did. Practically started off life as one a those cave gibbons.”

Corbin began to laugh himself, a hideous squeak, surely, to those who he wasn’t bonded to. Prissy got it though. They spent the next minute simply enjoying themselves. Finally Prissy got up and put a hand on the first of the corpses. Corbin took it upon himself to flap up and onto her shoulder, to get a better look.

No cards. That was a bit disappointing. But all in all the take was a lot, especially considering how easy the fight had been. Corbin looked around the dungeon in awe—there was so much down here, he bet, that would drop with a quick thrashing.

The new prompt came from nowhere and startled him.

Quest Complete! – Begin your Shared Journey

You gained 200 xp together

You’ve become a team after all.

Reward: 50 xp, 1 skill point

Skill point eh?

He popped open the character sheet menu and took a gander at his options.

Skills List (tap to reveal more information)

Strength (Feat of Strength, Swim)

Perception (Survey, Inspect)

Endurance (Grit, Carouse)

Charm (Sway, Mingle)

Intelligence (Politick, Knowhow*)

Agility (Sneak, Acrobatics)

Luck (Kismet, Serendipity)

Most of these were self-explanatory. He didn’t need to be strong or swim. No chance he’d ever hold open a door or force a lock to pop open with his teeny bird strength. Carouse he pecked at: You have the ability to outlast others while drinking grog, mead, wine and the like!

He chuckled and wondered what his chances were as a raven to even begin a drinking contest with someone, let alone drink someone under the table. Then again, he might meet a hedgehog who’d once been a man, and was also an aggressive drunk.

Grit would give him a higher chance to defend against fear-based attacks, and worked on Morale in the highly unlikely event he ended up in mass combat, with a spear, a shield and some armor, and was told to go kill an opposing army. He tried to imagine a raven kitted out in infantry gear and just could not.

Apparently Kismet was the failure version of Serendipity. With Serendipity he got a bonus from success, like getting free of the Fur Monster, but Kismet offset his failures somehow. He decided on Survey, which was the quicker version of Inspect: he’d get a notification of something weird on a quick once-over of the scene or room, or out of his periphery. He needed to be Prissy’s advance warning system, for at least 200 more silver pieces.

“So, you wanna get up and go kill some more monsters?” He nodded ahead to where the left fork continued into a mess of broken rubble, leaving a hole large enough for Prissy to slip through and continue into the wild lightless yonder.

“Wotcha monsters! We’re comin’ for you!” she said as means of reply, getting her weapons situated. They moved up to the rubble, cautious for traps but well confident in their monster-slaying postures. Reaching the hole, Corbin hopped from her shoulder and darted in, his thin raven legs bobbing him up and down in his strange birdie walk as he snooped out its corners. It smelled of dank wetness, but nothing was there. Reaching the end, he poked his head out and his beak dropped open in shock. It was a wide and open space, with a shallow pool of water in the center surrounded by statues of men and women in various states of undress, each with an exquisite look of panic etched upon their faces. And in the pool, atop a thin but tall pillar, sat a porcelain dish within which steamed a beautiful double-decker bacon and beef burger. The smell was exhausting—it was all he could do not to hop to flight and snatch it right that instant.

“Somethin wrong?” Prissy asked through the hole. “You really should hurry it up in there.”

“Traaaaaaap,” Corbin moaned, almost an orgasm in his longingness. “A beautiful, delicious trap almost worthy of the horrible death that is certainly connected to its juicy rich taste on a sesame seed bun.”

“Wotcha on about then?”

“It’s a damn double-decker bacon and beef burger!” He narrowed his midnight-colored eye. “And it just grew a layer of cheese. And, ugh, it is dripping thousand island dressing. I don’t know how much longer I can hold it here.”

“Oi, that’s not a problem. Yer my familiar and so I command ya to stick around.”

Corbin heard her slip into the dusty rock tunnel and the primal part of his brain screamed at him to fly and eat the burger, but either his common sense or else the words of his ‘master’ kept him rooted in place. Prissy rasped through and he hopped onto her shoulder as she gained upright standing.

“Roight then. Tally ho and all of that rot. Where’s this trap?”

Corbin motioned with his wing and she followed. It had grown another layer and was beginning to look like a meat cake. And, was it getting hotter? It steamed and the cheese burbled. He decided that it didn’t look so good anymore. “What are you planning on doing now?” he asked. She steepled her fingers.

“That don’t look none too tasty ta me. But I feel somethin, some sorta connection.”

The burger morphed in front of them, splitting into two halves, each of which seemed quite indistinct for a moment before they solidified back into steaming and juicy reminders of their old world.

“I think I’ve got it. Reminds me of me ex-husband, it does. It’s a slime, like from them pictures. It blobs in all hoity-toity posh under the door, then it looks like your grandmother, don’t it? And you go for a hug and it’s monster-eat-your-brain time.”

Corbin snickered. “That’s like your ex-husband?”

“Aye, either a slime or a troll. Can’t think of many bad things that weren’t like him, if you want to know the truth of it.” Prissy gave a bow to the two burgers on the pillar then walked away, heading past the statues and to the opposite wall of the chamber.

“We aren’t going to fight them?” Corbin asked.

“I had a fight with a slime before,” Prissy answered. “It ate me weapons. And me clothes. A damn shameful walk to town that was. No thank you.”

You have avoided the trap!

+50 xp

But it looked so tasty...

They had reached a point now where they could make out three stout doors built into the wall. Each was a different color, lime-green on the left, cauliflower-white in the center, and royal blue on the right. “You have a preference?” she asked him. He stutter stepped right on her shoulder then took off into the air.

“Yeah I prefer that I check the ceiling for traps. Seems like something tricky doors might be good at triggering.” He flew up in circles, like an inverse tornado, checking the area from every conceivable angle that his eyes could reach.

Success! You have inspected for traps:

Boulder Trap

Level 5 pitfall

Trigger undetermined—advance at your own risk.

“These doors suck,” Corbin yelled down to Prissy. “At least one of them is attached to a boulder trap that I guarantee is going to kill me and will probably get you as well. And I can’t make out what sort of trigger it uses, which I guess means I can’t disarm it.”

He began a slow descent downwards, still eyeing the place to see if he couldn’t figure more out.

“You can still disarm traps. Haven’t you had to do it? I’ve had to a few times already and I’ve never been able to identify it. Simply got to know… where… to look,” she said, her last few words punctuated with grunts and the sound of clacking rock. Corbin heard the boulder shift above him, then settle back down.

Trap disarmed!

Boulder Trap

Level 5 pitfall

350 xp awarded

You have leveled up!

“Easy peasy, wunnit?” she snickered as Corbin flocked to join her. “Looks ta me like we’ve just earned our girl scout badges.”