The target was a one-story office building that sat in the center of a vast parking lot. It was a small structure, with broken side paneling, duct taped windows, and a ‘for sale’ sign on the outside fence. Though “Beauregarde Real Estate Solutions” was listed as still actively in business, any and all contact information led to a single disconnected phone number. At a glance, this was an outdated oddity when compared to the closely packed multi-story towers that neighborhood it.

It was strange enough to peak the interest of at least one man, who began to document his efforts by sliding his thumb against the screen of his phone. His voice was an alto and rather average and unremarkable.

“This is Adi. At the place now. Possibly the largest nest in Tacoma.” He glanced outside his car window. A discarded plastic bag had blown in and the sudden movement was distracting. “I’ll secure the exterior property before I head in.”

There were three vehicles parked on the lot. The first was a white delivery van, followed by an antique muscle car that was stored underneath a fitted tarp, and the last was a 1984 corolla. Two of the vehicles hadn’t moved in some time, while the van had changed positions four or five times a week.

Adi double checked his photos while he continued to mutter quietly into his phone. “Cars still outside… The surveillance camera from across the street suggests that seven individuals stop by on a regular basis. Expecting at least ten to twelve inside.” He flipped to the last photo. “Satellite footage shows only one entrance...” Adi glanced around the parking lot. “Exterior clear. One hour to dusk. Planned operation time is twenty-two minutes. Current time is fifteen forty-two. End recording.”

The phone was tucked into his inner pocket. He took a moment to straighten the beanie sitting upon his faded brown curly locks. Adi liked looking as generic as possible in order to confuse any witness reports, though some would say he looked like someone who had missed the local Matrix convention by a decade. It wasn’t meant to be fashionable, it was how his clothes make him feel as a person and this outfit made him feel powerful.

Ass kickers like him wear all black. A long coat, beanie, and shades toughened his appearance. Let’s not forget the steel toe boots, which are necessary to maximize his kicking potential. Combine the knives tucked into his belt with the drinking flask in his inner pocket, and he was feeling pretty optimistic. Badass levels had been turned up to high-gear.

He then wedged the parking lot gate open with a rock and parked his car next to the building. His own vehicle was an overly common silver sedan, again for the sake of blending in. The driver’s side door was angled towards the entrance. Quick exit strategies save lives. Of course, this meant he was double parked, but justice is more important than obeying the law.

“Hello?” He knocked on the door a few times. “My name’s Adi? I was told to come here directly if I was interested in buying the lot.”

No reply.

Adi checked his watch. Not enough time to idle and his clothes weren’t fooling anyone. Going back to the car, he popped the trunk and grabbed both a handheld flood light and a bandolier of assorted weaponry.

It wasn’t much. A handful of evergreen wooden stakes provided a fresh pine scent, which was useful because it covered the horrid stench of the vials he gotten from a Chinese apothecary. Silver throwing knives, which were hopefully real silver. He strapped a katana on his back for good luck, and he was set for a good old-fashioned vampire raid.

The time trial practices were paying off. Adi had put himself together quicker than usual. There weren’t many opportunities for him to practice. Luckily his neighbors thought he was some sort of a weirdo and didn’t bother to ask any questions. But now was not the time to preen his ego for his efficiency. Now was the time for action, and action was the legacy his family bestowed upon him.

“Let’s do this.”

Adi took a deep breath before kicking open the door as hard as he could. To his surprise, the door failed to provide any resistance. A tragic combination of weak hinges followed by the fact that no one had bothered to lock it.

He shouldn’t have been surprised. A flock of residents and guests must have made key management a hassle. It wasn’t like anyone with common sense would try to break into someplace clearly abandoned or even attempt raiding a vampire den. Yet here Adi was, stumbling his way in.

The brave warrior began to flail his arms about, entering the building less like charging bull and more like a cat who highly underestimated how slippery the counter was. Adi continued to trip for what seemed like an agonizing long time, until his nose smacked against the edge of the reception desk. A loud crack resonated through the room as blood spewed from his nose.

“Mother fu-” Adi took another deep breath as he braced his hands against the floor. He pressed himself back up to a standing position and looked around.

It took a moment for him to overcome his pain. Aside from a mysterious, quiet hum, it was nearly silent. There was a layer of dust floating about from when the door hit the floor. Since no one seemed to be around, he took a moment to paw at his face, attempting to push his nose about to see if it was broken.

Once satisfied that he was alright, he caved in to his curiosity and ventured further within. The humming was coming from an open staircase. There was a curtain at the bottom that had a light peeking out from around its edges.

Adi had considered the possibility of a lower level... Not a good idea to be underground when the fighting began. To retreat was the rational decision. He cursed under his breath. They would likely relocate and he wouldn’t be able to find them again afterward.

His options were limited. Mister Brain and Madam Common Sense were against going in, but Adi believed it was now or never. He tightened his grip on his flood light and charged in. Boots rang like thunder as he banged his way down.

He pushed the curtain open and flicked on the floodlight, bathing the basement in a blinding white aura. It was a heavy thing that took over a day to charge and had enough lumens to fully illuminate up to two hundred feet away. Aside from his silver throwing knives, this was the best purchase he could have made.

Adi’s voice rang out, well rehearsed and booming with heroic intent. “By honor of the Wulfert Clan, it is my duty to serve God by casting out ye demons from this mortal plane. Return to the hellish depths from whence ye came!” Adi pulled out a throwing knife from his bandolier and hurled it. No hesitation was met as he next armed himself with a stake.

Years of preparation had gone into this moment. Mornings spent running in the rain and snow. Lessons with his mentors, competing with his kin to see who would get the honored position of hunter. It all came to this. The first fight. The first proving ground that will show all the others that he had earned the Wulfert name. All creatures of the underworld will them. Not to mention the stories he’ll get to tell when Thanksgiving rolled around.

“What in the bloody fu- Hell’s flames! What is wrong with you?! There is a ceiling lamp! The room is well enough illuminated without divine intervention!”

This particular demon spawn was waving about one hand in a panic while the other held a copy of To Kill a Mockingbird over his eyes. Adi’s throwing knife was partially impeded into it.

“Honestly, I didn’t hear a thing you said because my brain was shouting from how bright you’ve made it in here!” The demon struggled to put together his thoughts. “Did you throw something at me?” He gasped in horror from the realization that his book was damaged. ”A knife? Why would- One does not simply throw knives about as a form of introduction!”

Adi paused, the lack of aggression he was being presented with gave him time to better see his surroundings. There were several large wooden crates scattered about the room. The cursed one was sitting upon one of them. A dehumidifier in the corner was the source of the humming noise he had heard earlier.

“Uhm...” The would-be hunter had lost the original zealous he had so enthusiastically carried earlier. “I’m here to kick butt and slay vampires..?”

“With a damn flashlight and some dinnerware? Honestly, is there anything better in your arsenal?” The vampire shook his book at Adi while his other hand blocked the light from his eyes. “What if I attacked you, hmm? You’d defend yourself with a plate? Do you even have anything useful like a bullet proof vest?”

Adi looked down his chest. “... They’re heavy and I like being able to move aro-”

“Then what if I had a gun? I would have shot you! You’d be dead and I would have the useless chore of disposing of yet another body. I simply do not have the resources to do that at this time so if you could kindly turn off the ‘God Light’ and let us talk this through.” The vampire waved about the book again. His eyes, which were hidden behind his rectangular glasses, were shut tight.

“Uhm…” Adi obediently turned off the floodlight and placed it next to the dehumidifier.

The vampire nodded with a sneer and ran a hand through his bleached out hair. “Thank you. Now let’s be rational adults here an-” Adi yanked a vial from his bandolier and hurled it. The frail glass exploded against the vampire’s shoulder. “Seriously?! What-” His nose started to twitch with annoyance. “Will you stop tossing things like a chimpanzee on salvia?” He sniffled again. “What is this?”

“Holy water? No, wait…” Adi looked down and started to count the vials.

The man dabbed at the mess on his shirt with the long blue scarf he had around his neck. “This is a silk shirt! Imported! Expensive! I got this as a gift when I was alive,” he remarked with disdain. “I can’t exactly afford dry cleaning!” He shook the scarf at Adi. “This is real angora wool” He then shook his book, which still had the knife embedded into it. “This was an early edition copy! And why do I smell like garlic?!”

Adi looked up after counting his vials. “It’s a mix of garlic extract, ashes of a bible, and silver dust.” The hunter realized that the wooden stake was still in his left hand. It was quickly hidden behind his back in an awkward manner. Perhaps the internet didn’t know all that much about concocting vampire deterrents.

“That would explain the ostentatious sparkles,” muttered the vampire to himself. “You burn a bible and toss the ashes at people, yet you think me to be sacrilegious... Now I smell horrid and am all glittery… Utterly embarrassing. This is utterly embarrassing.” He took off his glasses, shined them with the clean end of the scarf, and put them back on. “You don’t see me throwing my book at you, do you? Most likely because I have a respect for proper literature.

Despite you, with your persistent flailing. Madam Harper Lee deserves more than this!” He shook the injured book yet again. “Now might we properly converse in a civilized fashion, or do you plan on using that stake which is quite clearly hidden behind your back?”

“... I guess we can talk?” Adi shuffled his feet about like a child who had done something wrong.

“Thank you.” A curt nod was given. “That’s all I ever really wanted, you know? You didn’t have to fumble about upstairs breaking everything. One could have come down rationally at any time for a proper conversation. I would ask why your nose is bleeding, but I feel as though it wouldn’t convey any information that would make me feel better.”

Adi wiped the blood up with the sleeve of his jacket. “I did call out. No one answered.”

“I was ignoring you. You seemed rude.” The vampire frowned. “I appeared to be correct in my assumptions. All this being undead and immortal business doesn’t make me evil. It simply makes me wise and patient. You’re just…” He scoffed. “You’re just very rude.”

Adi looked around. “If we could just…” He held up his wooden stake and gave a shrug. This delay was getting in the way of his plans. Sunset was quickly approaching. The last thing he needed was to have whatever was in those boxes join the conversation.

“Introductions first.” The vampire plucked the knife from his book and set it down next to him. “My name is Duke. I am a vampire of Korean descent. It’s a pleasu-” He adjusted his glasses. “It had not been a pleasure. Not a pleasure at all. Meeting you wasn’t on my agenda today, but I accept it regardless.”

“Atticus Wulfert.” Adi pointed his stake at Duke. “Could hurry this up and start fighting?” There was a twinge of regret for not planning this for earlier in the day. Unfortunately, being cautious meant that it had taken him a long time to prepare.

Duke shook his head. “Rude.”

“I’m sort of here to kill you. Manners don’t matter,” replied Adi quietly.

“Already dead! Issue moot!” Duke stamped his foot on top of the crate he had been sitting on. “Bernie! Where are the papers?”

A muffled voice replied from within. “First filing cabinet, second drawer. You alright up there?”

“Blind, but I’ll live. Err, unlive... Whatever it’s-” A eureka moment lit up his eyes. “Continuation of existence! I maintain that I will continue to exist! That is it!” His body made a series of creaking and cracking sounds when he stood, as though he were unused to moving about at all. “Alright… Let us see if we can get this sorted.”

Duke slowly made his way to the filing cabinet and ruffled through the papers quickly. “I must add that your clothes imply you’ve seen one too many tween shows from the nineties. Though Buffy would clearly be more welcome here than you are. At least she’d make for better conversation.”

Adi poked at his stake impatiently with a finger. “Can I continue on with dealing out God’s will and uhm...” He made a stabby motion.

“Hold on,” muttered Duke. He frowned at the papers. “Bernie, these are just the SIA documents. Where are the DH ones?”

“DH accepts SIA documents for all mithryn residing in the US,” the voice from the crate replied.

Duke tapped the papers a few times. “I’m going to go through the checklist to make sure you are all up to date. Is that alright?” A murmuring of yeses and okays rang from the crates.

“... What?” Adi took a cautious step back as Duke glared his way.

The vampire cleared his throat and began to read out loud. “It is within my best interests that I agree to abide the following in order to receive protection and benefits from my local SIA office. I will not feed on any human being. I will attend meetings to keep me from wavering and interviews to confirm that I am mentally sound.

Whenever I hunger, I will visit an SIA approved blood bank. By accepting this, I confirm that I am a vampire but I will do no harm to any living human.” He tapped the papers again. “Has everyone been following these rules?” Another murmuring of yeses and okays echoed throughout the room as Duke stuffed the document away.

He then gave Adi a smug grin. “Now with that all settled, I would like to know what agency you are from. I’m also going to need your badge number. A good hunter would at least confirm that we are in the wrong first before he went on a happy fun time murder spree.”

“... Agency?” Adi tightened his grip on the stake and once more held it forward. “I am Atticus Wulfert from the Wulfert clan. I slay monsters for the betterment of mankind. Generations of my kin have followed this tradition..”

Duke was stunned by Adi’s stubbornness. The range of emotions he had displayed in these fleeting moments was more than he was used to. “... You’re a freelancer? No affiliation with the Supernatural Investigations Agency or Demon Hunters Incorporated?”

Adi paused, equally as confused. “... What?”

The vampire sighed. He tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling for what seemed like a long time. “Walk with me... You seem like the type that needs lots of visuals and examples in order to understand anything.” He stepped forward, body still creaking, and placed a hand on Adi’s shoulder. Adi quickly stepped back and slapped Duke’s hand away. “I vow to do no harm. Now come on.”

Duke ushered Adi up the stairs and outside of the building. He inhaled deeply for a moment before speaking. “... It’s been a while since I’ve smelled the salty air of Puget Sound.” There was a distant look in his eye. “I just now remembered going to the zoo as a child and wondering how the animals could stand the aroma of Tacoma... Truly, it is the oddest things that you miss once you’ve gone to the other side.”

“... Uh huh.” The wretched scent of the paper factory wasn’t present in this part of the city, but Adi didn’t see why Duke was bringing it up now. Unless paper factories were some sort of Vampire repellent… Maybe he should look into that.

“Tell me, Atticus.” Duke turned to Adi. “What should be happening to me right now?” The golden light of the setting sun was striking his face. It lit up every dry nook and crack in his skin.

Adi pondered for a moment. He pulled a small book out from his inner pocket and flipped through it. “I suppose that I should be attempting to stake you through the heart. That should stun you long enough for me to decapitate you and render your body dead forever.”

“My goodness, you even have a whole book full of inconsistencies. That does wonders to answer the many of the questions I have about you.” Duke flicked Adi in the forehead before pointing towards the rose-colored sky. “Look towards the west and reconsider your answer.”

“The sun... Should be…” Adi’s stake tapped on the drawing of a person on fire. “Purifying you and releasing your soul from the corrupted chains of your unholy flesh.”

Duke’s tone became serious. “And yet here I stand.” He patted the young man’s shoulder sympathetically. What a simple creature this Atticus Wulfert was.

“It also says that you’re supposed to explode afterward, so I don’t have to worry about cleaning up any bodies.” Adi flipped through a few more pages.

“Stop with the book and listen to me for a moment.” Duke breathed in and out slowly. A faint grin hit his lips as he caught a whiff of salt again. “There are many types of monstrosities in this world. Ones not in your book or ones capable of doing much greater harm than a vampire could ever dream to manage.

Some of these monsters are innocent, some are most definitely guilty. Regardless, you’re undereducated, alone, and lack the proper resources to combat them. There are people in this world who are meant to be heroes, Atticus. You are not one of them. Go home. Get a job. Get a girlfriend or boyfriend or whatev-”

“I have a girlfriend.”

“Truly..?” Duke looked him up and down for a second. “Th-then you should settle down and live a long, nice life. As a lone wolf who attacked us first, I am fully within my right to devour you now and continue on without fear of you being avenged. I would have feasted upon you while in the most harrowing way I can imagine, and I am quite the antique, Atticus. I can imagine lots and lots of ways”

A smile spread across the vampire’s face as he once more patted Adi’s shoulder. His fingers lingered there, gripping tightly enough for the hunter to feel pain through the leather. “And what will your evening plans entail now? Mind you, I have not fed properly in a very, very long time.”

Adi almost said something foolish but forced the words back down his gullet. “Go see my woman and tell her how much I love her?”

“Good boy.” As Duke released his grip from the lad, the joints in his fingers cracked and snapped. The vampire then gestured to Adi’s waiting car. “Go on. Git.”

Adi stared at Duke blankly. Curiosity forced him to take one more foolish moment to linger about. “... How come the sun doesn’t work on you?”

The vampire grinned to himself and adjusted his thick rectangular glasses. “Because I’m Asian.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Adi flipped through his book again. “That actually seems racist, if anything.”

“I still feel the urge to sate my hunger, Atticus.”

“And I hope you and your friends will have a good night. I’ll just... Be on my way now. Keep on attending those SYMCA meetings or whatever.”

Adi nodded his head and hurled whatever was on him in his backseat. He then got into his car. It took a few tries at fumbling with Adi’s keys to get the car started, but fear allowed him to accelerate out the parking lot at a blinding speed.

The sky continued to fade from a rose to dark blue as the sun lowered in the sky. The smell of incoming rain was setting in. Duke frowned for a moment before stepping back into the building. Rain wasn’t good for him. He then took a moment to consider what to do about the door.

With a groan, Duke lifted up the door and awkwardly attempted to put it back. The desk was pushed towards it to keep it firmly shut. His roommates can fix it when they awaken. He was done dealing with the mortal world at this time.

“Well, my mood has certainly turned sour," he muttered. What he wouldn’t give to be able to enjoy a cup of hot tea at this very moment.