You ever say something that feels completely innocent at the time, but the moment it comes out and people start to react, it becomes obvious that it was a mistake that will haunt you for the rest of your life?

Yeah, I've been there. It sucks.

You wanna know what sucks even more?

Knowing that this stupid misconception will be the last memory anyone ever has of you because without warning you've been yoinked across the multiverse into who-knows-where, and there's an angry dinosaur trying to eat your face off.

This is the place where an ordinary storyteller would backtrack, probably give you some tedious backstory about my normal life as a boring human who did boring human things, maybe some interpersonal drama, maybe some tedium, just to get across the idea 'yup, this is a person'.

I'm not going to do that. If you wanna know my life story, stick around. It's boring as anything, but I'm sure I'll need to explain myself to someone eventually. Assuming this freaking dinosaur doesn't manage to kill me.

(I'm hiding in a tree, at the moment, and this isn't really a recitation of events so much as a rant, so if you're going to tune me out go ahead.)

So, there I was, humiliated and wishing I were anywhere but that moment in time, and then... wish granted, I guess.

[World transit complete. No class detected. Please select a class.]

"Any chance of a return trip?"

No response. Freaking system. Sure, it'll bring me here, but will it take me back? Noooo, fat chance of that.

Bitter? Me? Hah, you ain't seen nothing yet.

Fortunately, I appeared in this tree. And the dinosaur in question isn't the sort that can climb. Otherwise, I'd be dead already, I guess.

I'm pretty good at punching things, I grew up with three older brothers, and if I couldn't handle myself... well, I can handle myself. But handling street toughs isn't the same as handling a freaking dinosaur!

Do I seem hung up on that? Just a little bit? Well, gosh, I wonder why.

It stares up at me, reptilian eyes gold and gleaming like it would like nothing more than to swallow me whole. I don't think it's large enough to do that, probably more crocodile sized than... whatever's a bigger thing than crocodiles, but much more primal. It has a leaner profile, longer legs, whippier tail.

The mouth... that looks a little smaller than a croc but just as vicious. All those wrong-way-pointy teeth.

Shudder.

I glance up at the top of the tree, but I'm already about as high as I could safely climb. And I do not want to risk falling. Even if I would like to get more distance.

[REMINDER! You have not chosen a class.]

"Well, duh, you haven't given me any options!" I scream at the sky. The system has been universally unhelpful. "Warrior. Mage. Wizard. Fighter. Ranger. Assassin."

Nothing.

"Sorcerer. Blademaster. Pugilist. Druid. Brawler. Gunslinger."

Nope.

The dinosaur has started biting the tree. I should probably worry about whether it can knock it over, but right now I get the feeling that anything I can do will be less effective than what I can do once I get a class for myself. After all, if the system is strong enough to randomly steal me from dinner and drop me here, it can help me deal with one little dinosaur.

"Pyromancer. Berserker. Healer."

*DING!*

The sound is so loud, unexpected, and startling that I almost fall out of the tree. Fortunately, my grip is stronger than that. I only jump in shock rather than falling to my death.

[Class selected: Healer. Implementing tutorial.]

"Oh, sure, now you offer a tutorial. Did you not consider I could have used that ten minutes ago?!"

[You have elected to skip the tutorial. For your bravery, you have been awarded a permanent bonus to your most used stat. Good luck!]

"No, what? Hey, come back! I need to know what's going on here! Curse you!"

The system, in its infinite wisdom and stupidity, doesn't respond to my increasingly irate threats in any way whatsoever.

"Fine! Fine. I'll do it myself. I will find a way to get home, and nothing you or anyone else does will stop me. I will find a way to apologize to my mother, and nothing in the universe can stop me!"