Nancy

We keep talking until the nurse comes back and sends Alex to class. She says "See ya" before passing the door, and I wave at her. Her smile hurts me in a peculiar way. I don't say "See you" back. There won't be a later or a next time. This is all I will get, and I know it. I'm simply happy we talked.

The circumstances were unusual, and therefore something unusual happened. Tomorrow, everything will be back to normal. It's as simple as that.

Routine is good.

__________

Around an hour later, the nurse is checking on me when the sound of someone knocking on the door interrupts him. My heart misses a beat. I push the hope away so it won't hurt when it crumbles down.

"Come in!" He shouts, and two students enter the room. Alex is not one of them. The small hope I had dies, and I dutifully bury its remains in a place of my mind far, far away from consciousness.

"Nancy Drew, are you okay?" Asks Sasha as he comes to sit on the end of the bed.

"Hey", says Elliot more softly. I smile to both of them.

"Can we stay for a bit?" Sasha asks the nurse.

He nods. "Yeah, just don't be loud, I've got paperwork to do."

We all swear we won't, and he leaves us to go next door, where his actual office is.

"She didn't give you a concussion, did she?" Sasha immediately asks, frowning. I can hear the anger in his voice, and Elliot must hear it, too, because he cringes.

I want to cringe, too, in a way. I smile. "No, everything is fine. How do you know what happened?"

Sasha opens his mouth, but Elliot answers before him. "Alex sent me a text. I told Sash' as soon as I could."

"Ibrahim wanted to come with us, but he's got practice", Sasha adds. "He'll text you later. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, don't worry."

"Did you call your dad?"

I look away.

"Nancy Drew, you call your dad right now."

"Sash', listen, it's nothing. I'll tell him when I get home", I reason him. It doesn't seem to work, though, because he grabs my cellphone on the night stand and hands it to me without a word. I take it, if only to prevent him from calling himself, and shake my head. "I don't want to make him worry. Besides, he's probably painting, he wouldn't hear a bomb exploding in the same room." Sasha huffs and rolls his eyes, though he doesn't insist. I thank him, then turns towards Elliot. Judging by his expression, he seems to find the situation quite amusing.

"By the way, Elliot, thank you for coming. We barely know each other, you didn't have to." At the mention of his name, I can see Sasha twisting his neck to look at Elliot. He's so obvious it hurts.

Elliot smiles and shrugs, his hands in his pockets as if he didn't know what to do with them. "Nah, don't thank me, you're a friend of Sash', plus I had to make sure he wouldn't punch Alex if she was still here."

I chuckle and Sasha gives an obviously forced laugh, rolling his eyes again.

"Oh, about Alex", Elliot starts, looking a bit hesitant, "do you mind if I give her your number?"

It takes me a moment to fully comprehend the meaning of what Elliot just said. When I do, I can only stare at him dumbfounded, my fingers tickling slightly. Quickly, before my hopes raise again, I manage to blurt : "What for?"

If any of the boys notice my confusion, none of them shows it. "She wanted to check on you after class, make sure everything's fine. She's feeling really guilty, y'know?"

"I sure damn hope so", Sasha grumbles. I don't hear him. The tickling has become a wind of warmth, and it's blowing in my stomach, and it's painting on my face in the shape of a radiant smile I have trouble keeping hold on.

Maybe there is going to be a next time, after all.

Elliot's voice brings me back to earth. "So, Nancy? Do I have your authorization?" He asks, his phone already in his hand.

I want to stifle this warm feeling, keep my hopes down, ready myself for Alex to not contact me, for Alex to not spare me a single look tomorrow, ready myself to get back to my routine-

"Y- Yes, yeah, of course."

But I can't.

"Sweet!" He says as Sasha whips his head to send me a bewildered look.

"What?!"

I hold my friend's gaze and smile. "I don't have a reason to refuse, do I?"

"She's only doing this so she won't feel guilty anymore! She doesn't care about you!"

I flinch.

"I know that", I say. And it's the truth. But I'm a selfish person, and if using Alex's guilt allowed me to talk to her earlier, and if there's a chance it might happen again, then I'm definitely not letting it fly away. This crush of mine is silly, hopeless, painful - but I will not let it plague me with regrets. When time makes it fade away, when my years as a teenager come to an end, I want to at least be able to think : I tried.

I don't tell Sasha that, of course. I let him take what little I gave him and use it to build his own truth. Nothing new : humans do this all the time.

Elliot doesn't say anything, but his stare is heavy on Sasha. He looks… defeated, sad. I wonder if Sasha has told him the reason behind his being so bitter towards Alex and her friends. I don't think he has. Otherwise Elliot would probably have done something to make him change his mind.

The awkwardness grows heavier as the silence stretches longer. After maybe a minute, Elliot gives up and sighs.

"I… should go to the stadium. Cheer practice. Y'know", he says, rubbing his neck shyly.

Sasha looks up at that, looking startled. "Oh, yeah, right, you- you probably should."

They are both blushing now, and I avert my eyes. They like each other. Elliot is going to ask Sasha out. They are going to date. Hold hands. Kiss. Go to prom together.

I want to feel happy for them - and I do, in a way. I just wish the envy wasn't here too.

Alex

"Hey, everybody look, Alex's in love!"

"New boyfriend, Alex?"

"What?"

"Just look at your face, girl!"

"Yeah, don't play dumb, it's written on your face!"

"Who is it?"

"No one! I was just texting Elliot!"

"Isn't he gay?"

"You made'im straight, Alex?"

"Wooooo, you really are a killer, hm?"

"What the fuck? That's not how it works! And I don't have a fucking boyfriend, so fuck off."

"Yeah, right, 'cause that's the attitude of someone that's got nothing to hide…"

"Can't fool us, girl!"

"Why don't you all just shut up?"

"Okay, okay."

"Geez, no need to get so riled up."

"Jess-"

"I'm shutting up, I'm shutting up..."

Nancy

The way back home is long and strange. I cannot get rid of the impression that everything was a dream. That this is a dream.

It's the first time in months that I walk home. The nurse made me swear I wouldn't ride my bike. He made me swear on whatever you want, I don't care as long as you do it. I think most people would have sworn on god or their parents. I swore on myself, in my head.

As I walk, my bike sings to the empty street.

It's earlier than I'm used to when I get home. I guess I had not realized it would be, when I told Sasha to warn Mr Thomas that I would miss Chess Club.

My dad is surprised too. He is dancing on The Doors' Alabama Song and baking a chocolate pie when I knock on the kitchen's open door. He immediately stops smiling when he sees me and, before I have the time to say anything, we are hugging. He pets my hair, as he used to when I was a little girl, as he still does when he knows I'm upset, and I inhale the comfort in his scent. I pull back after a moment to reassure my dad and explain, knowing everything is real after all.

__________

[From : Unknown Number] Hey it's Alex. How r u?

[To : Alex] Hi, it's Nancy. I'm good, thank you.

[From : Alex] I know x) U sure?

[To : Alex] Yes, thank you. How are you?

[From : Alex] Good n eatin chocolate

[From : Alex] And stop thkin me èwé

[From : Alex] What r u doin?

[To : Alex] My homework, and you?

[From : Alex] Srsly? U missed class

[From : Alex] Texting u

[To : Alex] I have to catch up on the others.

[From : Alex] U're ahead of the others

[To : Alex] Then I have to keep being ahead of the others.

[From : Alex] No u don't, just chill!

[To : Alex] You're right, but I want to.

[From : Alex] Why? o_ô

[To : Alex] To get a degree in the field I want to have a degree in.

[From : Alex] Which is?

[To : Alex] Aerospace Engineering, ideally.

[From : Alex] (O A o)

[To : Alex] What about you?

[From : Alex] THAT'S SO FREAKIN COOL

[From : Alex] Dunno

[From : Alex] Prob a college not far

[To : Alex] You don't have anything you would like to study?

[From : Alex] Nop

[To : Alex] Are you sure? What about sports?

[From : Alex] That's not smth u study

[To : Alex] I'm pretty sure it can be. You're good in biology, too, right?

[From : Alex] Yea dunno how XD

[To : Alex] Do you like it?

[From : Alex] It's interesting

[From : Alex] and I get good grades

[To : Alex] Was that a yes?

[From : Alex] Yes

[From : Alex] U have any sibling?

[To : Alex] No, and you?

[From : Alex] Yea but she doesn't live here

[To : Alex] Do you miss her?

[From : Alex] Sometimes

[From : Alex] My dad mor than me

[From : Alex] Do u live w/ ur 2 parents ?

[To : Alex] Yes, and you?

[From : Alex] Yea but theyre not 2gthr anymore

[To : Alex] How does this work?

[From : Alex] It doesn't

[From : Alex] What do u do when u're bored?

[To : Alex] I study or I read. What about you?

[From : Alex] Phone, computer or work out. What do u like to read?

[To : Alex] I like every kind of books, but more Science-Fiction.

[From : Alex] Like Star Wars?

[To : Alex] Exactly. Do you like reading?

[From : Alex] Sometimes

[From : Alex] Don't u watch ur jap cartoons when u're bored?

[To : Alex] Yes, sometimes. (They're called animes)

[From : Alex] Why R they called that?

[To : Alex] I think it comes from "animation".

[From : Alex] I thought it was an eng word

[To : Alex] Yes, Japanese is full of English words.

[From : Alex] Weird

[To : Alex] It's Japanese, of course it's weird.

[From : Alex] XD

[From : Alex] Have to go sry :/

[To : Alex] It's okay, bye.

[From : Alex] See u tomorrow!

[To : Alex] See you!

__________

I'm laying on my bed and staring at the ceiling, contemplating not the blue paint but the weight of my cellphone in my hand. My stomach is buzzing, expanding, laughing.

I lift my phone up above my head and I stare at the screen. At the words. At her name. I feel light, as a feather.

Love's light wings, I think, and I chuckle. How naive am I, really? It's only a few texts. Sixty six texts.

My fingers hover above the screen, slightly shaking. Tickling.

I take a deep breath and start taping a new text.

[To : Alex] Good night.

I spend the rest of my evening checking my phone every minute, unable to read a single page.

The answer never comes.