At first when I saw the cage, I knew it was new

and as I watched on my suspicion grew.

My sister wobbled and tittered step by step,

all the while concealing her secret pet.

“What is it,” I implored. “What is it, I say?”

All the while she ignored me and kept walking away.

She heaved, and she hauled, pulling the cage into her room

and just like a dummy, I followed without predicting my doom.

“Get out!” She snarled, “Be gone with thee!

I don’t need you here, I don’t need you bothering me!”

I pouted, and I whined just like I do all the time,

until I saw her smile spread ear to ear,

she tilted her head to the side, and she sneered.

“Alright then you, I’ll tell you what we’ll do.

Since you’re so nosy and insist on intruding,

I’ve got something that’s worth introducing.”

Now out of all my sister’s pets,

I have not met one to make me squeamish yet.

Not the dull gray docile rat, or the sneaky cunning cat,

or the boring chewing rabbits with their baby making habits,

or the squealing guinea pigs with their round furry heads,

or the colorful tropical birds who sang songs without words.

As I waited to meet this new addition to her kingdom,

I couldn’t help the feeling of growing stupid and dumb.

Behind me I heard a great click and a bam!

As I turned I saw it was the door that had slammed!

My sister stood there by the closed and locked door,

smiling and grinning like The Joker as she pointed to the floor.

There before me sat a creature whose fur was black, brown, and gray.

This was a weaselly creature that I would hate to this very day.

With all my fright I jumped to the left,

it followed me there, so I went to my right!

With great agility that I thought I’d never see,

it went to its side and curled towards me!

At that moment I knew I feared it and as my eyes focused

I saw that this was what people called a ferret!

“Get her, get her, and get her now!” My sister chanted,

“Get her, that annoying, nosy little sow!”

I took a jump back and tripped over rabbit food and junk,

my hand slipped and slid in animal digested gunk,

and my pursuer pursued as my sister howled and cooed!

All the animals in their cages came alive

to witness the theatrical feat as I tried to survive!

Up onto the TV I clamored and climbed

while down on the floor I hoped to leave my tormentor behind!

When all seemed lost, when all seemed bad,

I wished there was some type of avenger that I could have had!

A hiss from behind the couch then sounded and just like a rocket,

Harper the Cat jumped up onto it

and down at the floor he snarled at my tormentor!

The two couldn’t stand each other, I could see,

I think the cat hated the ferret more than he hated me!

On the floor the two hairballs clashed, giving each other a good swipe and a bash!

Under the couch and over the bed, I watched as the animals clawed at each other’s heads,

and I knew they wouldn’t stop until the other was surely dead!

Finally, with one last twist, the fight ended and was dismissed.

My sister, once mean and vindictive, now became concerned and overtly protective.

Up with the ferret and back into his cage,

now onto shouting and scolding the cat as she vented her rage.

Down from the TV, I climbed to the floor and as I eased out of the door,

I made a mental note and promised not to be nosy anymore.

- written with love for Alicia Stephens

- RIP Harper the Cat