《Never Attribute to Malice》Chapter 15

Advertisement

Chapter 15

Jane was still wrestling with the horror of giant blood-sucking beetles when the air shimmered around her, as if she was in the middle of heat haze. She clutched at her weapon as four humanoid silhouettes appeared to slide into being around her. She almost threw herself at the closest one when Chiratizo grabbed her arm. She turned to see him shake his head. She relaxed as four humans replaced the hazy silhouettes.

“Oh, hey, I didn’t think that we would catch you up.” said a rotund man dressed in leathers, furs and an inordinate amount of claws and fangs. “Sorry about that, we’ll let you get on.”

“Don’t worry, we are stopping to eat and discuss the previous floor.” General Nui informed the new arrivals.

“Tianaro! I didn’t see ya there, probably because you are short enough to hide behind the kids!” The large man exclaimed loudly, doing the sloppiest salute possible.

Silah stepped forward, face red with anger. He pointed a finger at the unkempt man, his whole body trembling with rage.

“How dare you, you scruffy fatty. General Nui is a great man, worth all of our respect you,”

“At ease, Silah.” Tianaro Nui interrupted. “While your praise is appreciated I do not require your assistance in my defence. Maybe I should inform my sister of your Queensday activities, Mollig?”

Mollig gasped theatrically and fanned himself with a meaty hand.

“You wouldn’t dare! Anyway, you regularly come with me!” He replied with a grin.

“Of course, but I have never hidden my enjoyment of early afternoon tea and cakes. Also, I have not been put on a diet by my wife.”

“Yes, well, we should really be on our way.” He replied sheepishly.

“Don’t forget about tomorrow, don’t be late.”

Mollig visibly sagged at that.

“Don’t worry, your Grandma made that abundantly clear. We are just doing a quick run down to the sixth floor to keep the rust off. We’ll be back in time. I’ll see you there I suppose.”

General Nui grinned maliciously.

“Not at all, I will be meeting with delegates from the Philodotan Kingdom while you greet the Princess and her entourage. Please enjoy it.”

Mollig groaned and nodded to his group. The others greeted the general and passed through towards the forest.

“Sir, if that was your brother-in-law, Mollig Nui,” Silah exclaimed excitedly. “Then that was the highest-ranked adventurer team, the only F ranked team in Rimwall! Incredible.”

“Yes, well. Lunchtime. What do we have, Chiratizo?”

The large guard set his pack down and began pulling food out of it. Sandwiches, bowls of soup, an entire plate of meat and two vegetables complete with gravy, and some strange rice rolls.

“Sushi! Lovely, it’s been so long.” Jane exclaimed joyously. “Well, maki, but whatever, people always forget to make the distinction.”

Everyone looked at her curiously.

“What are they? You know what they are so they must be from your childhood.” Nyika asked.

“Wait, you don’t know what maki are? Has the dungeon not dropped any before?”

“No, it has only dropped local food, it pulls from the memories of people who come through,” explained Nui. “As far as we know. Still, that is a subject for another day, let us eat please.”

The group ate lunch in the clearing while the two experienced guardsmen gave commentary on what was done well and ways to improve their run on the first floor of the [Dungeon]. After half an hour everyone had finished eating and recovered their health and mana, and they were ready to start the second floor.

Advertisement

"This is a nice, open level with two different enemy groups. The beatles, [Sanguine Bombardier]s and [Sanguine Charger]s, and three different forest imps; defenders, warriors and rare shamans." Silah explained as they passed through an archway made of intertwined branches. "The beatles are tough, their exoskeleton makes it hard to get a good hit in without bouncing or sliding off, and they hit hard, especially the bombardier's ranged attack. The imps are far easier but can appear in greater numbers."

Jane nodded and hefted her hammer, channelling her Akaisha mindset. They advanced carefully into the forest, Silah leading them with spear and shield ready. Akaisha moved out on the right flank, Munodo mirroring her on the left. Akaisha could see brown magic curling around Nyika's fingers, a spell held ready for the first threat. She briefly considered pulling out a throwing axe but decided against it. She could leap as far as her sightlines extended, so ranged weapons were out. She frowned. It was taking forever to unlock a throwing [Skill]. She shook herself and refocused on her surroundings. While the forest was sparse enough that they could move through it as a group, the trees blocked all vision further than five or ten metres.

Akaisha continued scanning her side of the forest as they stepped cautiously through the trees. She realised that she was hopelessly lost, and had no idea where they were going anyway, but Silah seemed confident so she was content to follow. After a few minutes of walking she thought that she saw something move just behind the trees. She called out softly for everyone to stop. She gripped her sledgehammer, eyes darting around trying to locate the source of movement. Suddenly Silah pulled her backwards, his spear abandoned. He stepped forward, shield raised.

As she struggled to react to being thrown to the ground she caught sight of a roiling orb of reds and yellows as it arched down towards her. Silah rocked backwards as the globe exploded against his shield. Munodo grunted in pain as he was splashed by the scattered liquid. Akaisha was hauled to her feet by Chirembo and dashed over to the trees, intent on finding the [Sanguine Bombardier] before it could launch another exploding acid ball. She saw a flash of yellow and threw herself into a roll. The ball of acid flew over her head, splattering into a tree and showering her with droplets. Akaisha felt as if her back was on fire. She leapt to her feet and raced towards the beetle, hammer raised.

"[Identify]"

As her eyes flitted around her [Skill] returned three results. The [Sanguine Bombardier] and two [Sanguine Charger]s just behind it. Before she could reach the giant creepy crawlies she saw the bombardier's thick, scorpion-like tail pulsate and throb. She dove forwards, rolled to her feet and swung her weapon in an awkward rising strike. Despite her poor form she caught the bug between the mandibles, flinging its whole body upwards. The explosive ball fired almost vertically upwards. It shattered against the canopy, spraying the four combatants with boiling acid. Akaisha covered her head with her arms, feeling them burn as the acid ran into the gaps in her armour. She flashed her health up quickly.

[443/464]

So painful but not hugely dangerous. She could see her armour melt as the acid dripped down it. As much as Akaisha was suffering from acid burns, the Sanguine Beetles were worse off. The falling acid had melted large rifts in their carapaces and one of the [Sanguine Charger]s was missing a foreleg. Akaisha slammed her sledgehammer down into the damaged chitin of the bombardier, ripping a huge chunk off of its back in a fountain of blue-green gore. She swung again at the same place, burying the head of her hammer deep into the squishy flesh. The bombardier squealed in its strange chittering voice. As Akaisha tried to rip the weapon out she was hit from the side. She was slammed into the ground, her weapon left sticking out of the stricken beetle.

Advertisement

Akaisha found herself pinned under a massive grey form. Its razor-sharp mandibles dug into her shoulder as it bit down on her. A slimy secondary mouth shot out from under the mandibles and slammed into her chest. She felt the nightmarish maw find purchase and begin to suck. She felt her life force drain, something more ethereal than concrete. She flashed her status up.

[Health 325/464 Mana 255/424]

It was draining her of mana at the same time. She pulled a blade from her leg and slashed at the slimy green member. It bit into the hard flesh but not enough to stop the drain. Tears building in her eyes, she forced her injured arm up to grab the horrible tentacle and began to saw through it. It squirmed and pulled, trying to escape. She gripped it with all of her strength until, with a grunt, she severed it. The [Sanguine Charger] screamed and shook Akaisha off, throwing her into a tree. She screamed as her shoulder slammed into the ground.

[Health 198/464 Mana 76/424]

She swore as she tried to pull herself to her feet. She leant heavily on the tree behind her, her left arm swinging uselessly as her shoulder bled profusely. She saw the bombardier writhing on the floor and dismissed it. She desperately searched for the two chargers, gripping the dagger in her good hand.

Akaisha caught a flash in her peripheral vision and threw herself forwards. A [Sanguine Charger] slammed into the tree behind her. She rolled with a scream as her shoulder hit the ground. She jumped to her feet just in time to twist out of the way of its second charge. As It passed her she stabbed her blade down into it, aiming for one of the rifts in its carapace. It ripped the blade from her hand as it passed. She searched blindly for another dagger without taking her eyes off of the charger. She spun again out of the way of another charge before finding her blade. Akaisha dragged her falchion out of its sheath and faced the [Sanguine Charger], backing slowly away towards a tree. Her left arm was still screaming with pain, but the bleeding was slowing.

She pivoted out of the way of a charge, taking a hit to her leg as the beetle slammed into the tree. She lashed out with her blade, dragging it through the disgusting flesh and pulling it out before she lost it. The beetle chittered, a hideous screeching and Akaisha stabbed it again, just behind its head. She jammed it in as far as possible, twisting it around until the [Sanguine Charger] collapsed. She sagged against the corpse of her defeated foe, clutching her blade. As the beetle disappeared in shimmering smoke she pulled herself back up, leaning on the tree. Akaisha collected her dagger and falchion, wiping them on the grass and returning them to their sheaths before looking for her sledgehammer.

[Health 147/464 Mana 76/424]

Her health had stopped going down, but she was down to a third, and only had enough mana for a single [Shatter Defences]. She looked down and collected the three silver coins, checking around for where the bombardier died. She had been thrown around too many times and couldn’t remember where she had been attacked. She realised that she also didn’t know where her group was. She was lost, alone in a dungeon forest on a third of her health. She hefted her sledgehammer, feeling the pitted handle where the acid had eaten into it. She held it by the middle of the handle as her left hand was still out of commission. She limped carefully in the opposite direction, hoping that it was the right direction to rejoin her group. Akaisha threaded her way through the trees, slowly searching for allies or enemies. After only a few dozen steps she heard shouting. She rushed towards the noise, wincing as her leg throbbed at each step.

She reached a clearing and found a battle zone. Silah had lost his shield and his face was covered in blood. He was standing over a prone Munodo, fending off three imps while Chirembo tried to heal him. Nyika was behind them, her staff held out but not casting any spells. Akaisha gritted her teeth and leapt forwards, pain blasting through her injuries, and slammed a one-handed hammer blow into the closest imp. She shattered its collarbone and sent it reeling backwards, screaming bloody murder. The imps were short, blue-skinned humanoids, like underfed children. They had stone weapons in their long, boney fingers and were wearing crude wooden armour. Akaisha spun and shouted [Shatter Defences] as she swung at the second imp. Her glowing hammer smashed into its gut, lifting it off of its feet. The wooden armour, held together with grass, exploded, flinging shards of wood all around. She heard Silah grunt as the shrapnel dug into his skin, then screamed herself as the final imp stabbed her in the calf. She dropped to her knees, raising her arms to guard her face from a slash to the face. The flint knife slid across her arm guards as Silah slammed the butt of his spear into the imp's face. Silah spun his spear around and stabbed the imp through as it tried to recover. He drove his spear down and pinned the imp to the ground. He abandoned the spear and drew his mace. The first imp, its arm hanging uselessly, launched itself at the downed Munodo, its floppy ears trailing behind it. Nyika swung her staff up, catching it on the chin and throwing its head backwards. As it staggered backwards Silah shattered its skull, splattering blood and gore over the ground. Akaisha limped over to the imp that she had hit with [Shattered Defences], dagger drawn. It lay on the floor, its stomach gone, shredded by the explosion of its armour. It whined pitifully, tears streaming from its human-like blue eyes. Akaisha tried to finish it off but hesitated, it was so childlike.

“You are a far less disgusting creature than the other denizens of this [Dungeon] so far. Although I suppose that you don’t actually exist do you? Just a sort of [Dungeon] construct, here only to kill me or feed me experience.” Akaisha mused.

As she was talking to herself the moribund imp tried to hit her with its stone axe. She casually stepped on its wrist before it could hit her and stabbed it in the throat. She wiped the dagger off and slid it back into the scabbard while the imp dispersed into nothingness. As the iridescent vapours faded she saw a basket of chips with a thick battered sausage stuck in the middle. As she bent down to retrieve it she caught the delicious vinegar smell of proper English chips. She couldn’t resist eating a few as she made her way back to her group.

Silah had recovered his shield and Munodo was sitting up, healed but still covered in blood. She offered the chips around but only Nyika took any, the others turning their noses up at the idea of vinegar in food.

“It's spoiled wine, why would you put that on food? Your city must be such a strange place, to eat gone off wine and raw fish with cold rice,” complained Chirembo; “And now the [Rimwall Dungeon] will have a chance to drop weird food for everyone, even if you never come back in.”

Jane shrugged as she bit into the sausage, it was deliciously crunchy and juicy, perfectly battered. It only took her a few mouthfuls to polish off the sausage and most of the chips. She soon felt better, and her status agreed with her.

[Shatterer] level increased to 9.

Strength + 4

Dexterity + 1

Agility + 3

Endurance + 3

Perception + 3

Intelligence + 3

Willpower + 1

Sociability + 2

You have learnt the Skill [Leaping Strike] 1

[Health 407/524 Mana 103/483]

She could still feel the injuries to her left shoulder and right leg, but as if they were nearly healed, as if it had been days or even weeks. Well, decadi.

“How is everyone? I’m sorry I ran off like that, I saw the [Sanguine Bombardier] and thought to take it out before it could fire again, but it wasn’t alone. I killed the bombardier and a [Sanguine Charger] but lost two-thirds of my health and couldn’t find the second charger.” Jane explained to the others.

“We saw you dash off, but before we could follow you the imps attacked, a shaman and its retinue. Two defenders and five warriors. It's rare that the floor starts so strongly, eight imps and three beetles so close together would probably have forced us to make a fighting retreat. Munodo took a wood spell to the face fairly early, knocking him out. Nyika burnt through all of her mana to keep them back and even managed to deal with the [imp Shaman].” Silah paced backwards and forwards as he recounted the events that Jane had missed. “At first Chirembo helped me on the front lines but the warriors kept slipping through and stabbing at Munodo. Chirembo had to stop to heal him, and Nyika can’t cover, she doesn’t have the Endurance. In the end, Munodo was down to ten percent health, and I’m down to just over a quarter. As much as I would like to complain about you running off, you might well have saved us by distracting the beatles.”

Jane nodded in agreement, she hadn’t meant to leave them alone, and Munodo had gotten close to death. She supposed that he hadn’t been that close or the guards would have intervened. After all, General Nui could probably kill the entire floor's worth of enemies without her being able to see him move. She turned to the General to ask a question.

“I just received a skill, but I don’t know what it’s worth. Why would I want a Skill for [Leaping Strike] if I can just, well, leap and strike?”

“I assume that it’s an active effect?” Jane nodded. “Then you can leap and strike for no cost as you say, but activating [Leaping Strike] will boost the relevant stats depending on the level of the skill. Strength, Agility and Perception, possibly Dexterity. Essentially you spend the mana for more distance, damage and accuracy. As you have yet to fill your Skill list it’s free, as to keeping it or exchanging it I can’t tell you.”

“Thank you, sir,” Jane said respectfully. “What is the plan, guys? I’m fairly healthy after my level-ups and the chips, but if you all fell so low do we need to pull out?”

“No, we have a couple of potions from that fight,” Nyika gestured with the empty bottle in her hand. “I have most of my mana, and so should Chirembo. Silah can have one health potion and we will still have one left for emergencies. I think that we are good.”

As the group formed up to head deeper into the forest Jane checked her full status page.

Jane Akaisha Wainwright

[Beginner Militiaman] Cap

[Shatterer] 9

Health

524

Health Regen

2.62

Mana

483

Mana Regen

2.46

Strength

92

Perception

61

Dexterity

43

Intelligence

71

Agility

61

Willpower

38

Endurance

66

Sociability

41

[Shatterer] Skills

Description

[Combat Style: Sledgehammer] 36

Passive: A full combat style for sledgehammers.

[Shatter Defences] 3

Active: A strike with a blunt weapon that can reduce the defences of the target, may even destroy them outright.

[Leaping Strike] 1

Active: A jump followed by a strike from a melee weapon

General Skills

Description

[Theoretical Mathematics] 32

Passive: After mastering basic [Mathematics] you are ready for the advanced version. Improves knowledge of, and the speed of use, of complex mathematical formulas and equations that do not have a direct and obvious real-world application.

[Useful Mathematics] 57

Passive: After mastering basic [Mathematics] you are ready for the advanced version. Improves knowledge of, and the speed of use, of complex mathematical formulas and equations that have a direct and obvious real-world application.

[Advanced Physics] 61

Passive: After mastering basic [Physics] you are ready for the advanced version. Improves knowledge of, and speed of processing of, complex formulas and theorems. You benefit from increased relevant stats when performing appropriate experiments and other actions.

[Advanced Biology] 34

Passive: After mastering basic [Biology] you are ready for the advanced version. Improves knowledge of, and speed of processing of, complex formulas and theorems. You benefit from increased relevant stats when performing appropriate experiments and other actions.

[Advanced Chemistry] 53

Passive: After mastering basic [Chemistry] you are ready for the advanced version. Improves knowledge of, and speed of processing of, complex formulas and theorems. You benefit from increased relevant stats when performing appropriate experiments and other actions.

[Identify] 5

Active: Shows some information on a target, depending on the level of skill.

[Weapon: Spear] 1

Passive: Increases skill with spears.

The Oldest Fogie [Unique]

Congratulations, you are older than any non-deity in the Universe 2.0, and even more than most of the gods too. I hope you're happy! Gain increased stats when haranguing whippersnappers, and chasing people off your lawn.

+50% to all stats.

Paragon Scholar [Unique, Claimable]

Awarded for holding the most [Unique, Claimable] knowledge titles.

+25% to all stats

Paragon of the Mundane [Unique, Claimable]

Awarded for holding the most [Unique, Claimable] mundane knowledge titles.

+15% to all stats.

Peerless Chemist [Unique, Claimable]

Awarded for having the highest level [Chemistry] skill.

+15% to Int, +10% to all other stats.

Peerless Physicist [Unique, Claimable]

Awarded for having the highest level [Physics] skill.

+15% to Int, +10% to all other stats.

Peerless Biologist [Unique, Claimable]

Awarded for having the highest level [Biology] skill.

+15% to Int, +10% to all other stats.

Peerless Mathematician [Unique, Claimable]

Awarded for having the highest level [Mathematics] skill.

+15% to Int, +10% to all other stats.

Late Bloomer I

Access U2.0AS for the first time after 14 years old. Better late than never.

+1% to all stats.

Late Bloomer II

Access U2.0AS for the first time after 16 years old. Was it worth the wait?

+2% to all stats.

Late Bloomer III

Access U2.0AS for the first time after 20 years old. It probably wasn't worth the wait.

+3% to all stats.

Late Bloomer IV

Access U2.0AS for the first time after 30 years old. It probably wasn't worth it, but well done surviving so long without the system.

+4% to all stats.

Late Bloomer V

Access U2.0AS for the first time after 50 years old. Who does that?

+5% to all stats.

Late Bloomer VI

Access U2.0AS for the first time after 100 years old. How is that even possible?

+6% to all stats.

Late Bloomer VII

Access U2.0AS for the first time after 1 000 years old. That should not be possible.

+7% to all stats.

Late Bloomer VIII

Access U2.0AS for the first time after 10 000 years old. Wait, how long?

+8% to all stats

Late Bloomer IX

Access U2.0AS for the first time after 100 000 years old. What, how, even dragons don't live that long.

+9% to all stats.

Late Bloomer X

Access U2.0AS for the first time after 1 000 000 years old. I give up, that's impossible, and doesn't even give a decent bonus. Whatever.

+10% to all stats.

Mothers Ruin

Be the first to clear [Den of the Mother of Dogs]

+1% to all stats.

    people are reading<Never Attribute to Malice>
      Close message
      Advertisement
      You may like
      You can access <East Tale> through any of the following apps you have installed
      5800Coins for Signup,580 Coins daily.
      Update the hottest novels in time! Subscribe to push to read! Accurate recommendation from massive library!
      2 Then Click【Add To Home Screen】
      1Click