《Dirge》Motley 1.04-1

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Kendall had sealed us in. Upon entering my enclosure, the fourth wall had appeared, blocking me off from leaving.

I could only wonder if it was real. Or, if it was a construct.

I'd summoned up a lamp and stacks of books from Aku. I had information I needed to catch up on. It'd been a number of hours already, and I'd devoured several of the texts. My eyes danced over the page of an encyclopedia, studying up on Utopian history.

The Utopian civ formed of the late twenty-first century with a grass roots change in perception. There were one or two early proponents, great thinkers which led the change. In time, the obvious superiority of Utopian thinking subsumed all the religious and irreligious. Wars were short-lived, led mostly by civilian forces against 'tyrants'.

Difficult times followed. Segregation, cultures died off, hard bargains were struck... birth control or starve in some cases. The poor, the volatile, and the broken were allowed to die, denied anything more than a solemn burial. Socialism ensued. Scientific thought expanded, turned inward instead of outward into the stars. Walls were broken down, big thinking leads to bigger paths. Que the open Omniverse, then the Eidolons.

The year is now twenty-three, eighty-four.

Knock, knock, knock.

It didn't say that.

There was a faint knocking coming from my bathroom.

I went in and closed the door behind me. I slid in between the toilet and the sink, pressing my ear against the wall.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Bad timing on my part, I jerked back and pressed a hand to my ear. I knocked twice in return. The wall was unexpectedly thin, I found.

"Hello?" A quiet voice came through.

"Doran here, to whom am I speaking?" I asked.

"It's Anna. Sorry to disturb you... I just..." She trailed off.

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"It's no disturbance. I can only take so much reading."

"Oh, good. So what're you... oh. Reading?"

"Getting a better grasp on the situation. Did you know the Guilds are exclusively allowed to give out Immortality, which is withheld from the masses?"

"Uh, yeah. I-" her sarcasm made her voice drop a little and I lost it through the wall. Wasn't super important, I was guessing.

"Right," I said. "Well, it's all so very practical. Focused on abstract values and concrete logic. Minimizing everything bad, maximizing everything good. Ninety percent of the population is happy, which is actually a statistic they religiously track, here."

"Again, I was born here." Ah.

"Well then. What are you doing?"

"Pacing. Looking out my window. Which I don't even think is connected to a camera. I think it's a program... Yeah. Heh. God, I'm going out of my mind."

"Mm. Well, stop."

"What?"

"Stop stressing."

"Yeah, I'll just do that."

"You will. You'll gain control, or you'll remain out of control."

"That's... I don't even know."

"You just have to stop caring so much. Free yourself, let go of what you don't truly love. Identify your goals, even if they seem impossible, and then identify a path. Follow the path, and your confidence will help your ability. If your nature requires freedom, I'm thinking, you could always try astral... Anna?" I knocked twice. "You left."

Well. That was informative... but... my head.

I couldn't go back to reading, after that. I leaned back onto the soft white floor and let out my dreads. I rubbed my face and closed my eyes.

You're off track, I voice in the recesses of my mind said. Collect yourself.

I needed to keep my bearings and formulate a path to more control. This situation wasn't ideal, what with Kendall in charge and all. I could only do so much with subtlety.

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All good and evil are dictated by values, a plan by its end goal. What is your want?

I didn't know. Only a knot in the pit of my stomach replied.

Then you're small and will remain small.

Somehow, I just didn't care. I was alive, that was all that mattered.

I slept and was awoken by the rush of air as my cell opened.

Sitting up, I collected myself by binding my hair back and fixing where my pants had tried to ride up in my sleep. As I did so, Odessa passed my enclosure, her sword screeching along the tile as she went. She continued to ignore me, as she'd done since we'd met.

I hopped up and went into the common area, where Odessa was getting something out of a metal box, and Ashmedai was sitting on the furthermost couch in nothing but stained bedsheets. He nodded at me.

"Mornin' mah nigga," he called, not taking his eyes off the tv as he did.

I grunted in reply, coming to sit on the opposite end of his couch, in front of the tv. There was porn playing on it. I turned to look at Ash, who smiled without unsticking his eyes. In the corner of my vision, Odessa was coming out of the kitchen, I looked to see her eyes widen for a fraction of a second as she neared us. Ash had changed the video the instant she had turned, giving her an uncomprehending glimpse of a screen filled with flesh. She was left baffled.

There was a Utopian Council meeting on the tv now.

Odessa had a bowl of something soupy, in her unoccupied hand, which was steaming. Kendall was coming out of his room looking groomed, unlike the rest of us. He went to the kitchen and fiddled with the metal box as well. He came over and sat down with cereal. I knew what was happening here.

I got up and went over to the box. There was a display on one side, and a door handle next to it, like a microwave. I punched in 'oatmeal'. A dozen different descriptives came up on the screen, and options about how it was prepared. Made with milk, very sweet, medium texture. 'Done', it said.

I found myself getting really excited. Food. Food was amazing. I hadn't eaten up til now. There was something special about my first pleasure, like that. Like I'd been living in abnegation until now.

Opening the door, I withdrew a warm bowl filled with perfect oatmeal. Even with a spoon in it. I outfitted a mouthful onto the utensil but had to stop as Kendall snapped his fingers and forced my attention.

Irritating as it was the last time.

He had his phone in hand. "Porter's not doing a schedule."

"What?" Anna said, just now coming into the room.

Oh, come on. Kendall had started toward the hall. "The guy's insane, he's posted that today's lesson is at six. We're forty minutes late."

Kendall strode past Anna who confusedly turned around and followed. Ash begrudgingly got up and had somehow gotten dressed when I hadn't been looking. Odessa, who looked like she'd slept in her day clothes like me, followed as well. I went with, and we all marched out into the pitch black cold.

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