“What is that, your third this week? Very impressive.” Today’s attendant at the ‘collection of dudes who are paid to do stuff or whatever’ was the male model. Whatever schedule he and the woman traded off on was not in a pattern Karen could make any sense of.

“Fifth. I turned in two the day before yesterday with what’s-her-face.” Karen said. She was more interested in the sound of the nest core rolling across the counter than listening to his too positive attitude.

The elf stood up from where he had been rooting around under the counter. He gave a smile and the cubes she’d earned for her most recent conquest. “Fifth. If we could come up with a couple more of you, we might actually get a credit bonus. If you need anything you just let me know, ok? We’ll find a way to take care of you.”

Credit bonus?

Ah.

He snatched the core up mid shot on her hand to hand putt-putt game, kneeling once more to place it wherever such things were placed. She’d glanced back there before when the desk had been empty, there was nothing under the counter that she could see. Whatever magical means they used were either hidden or outside of her knowledge of what to look for.

“I’m fine. I’ll be taking this.” A brown job notice was slapped onto the counter.

“Already out on another? You’re too good to us. Only bounty hunters we can manage to get are the ones that might take a job on their way travelling up the mountains or the purples that won’t touch anything lower.” He stood up to check the notice.

“The rage imps? I was authorized to change this to a red notice. If you’ll give me a moment.” What looked like a small flashlight appeared in his hand, and he touched it face down to the page. He frowned when nothing happened, pulling off the back to reveal an empty source stone. After taking a moment to replace it, he once more did his face down tap. This time the page shifted from brown to red, like the elf was wielding some kind of magical hemorrhoid stick.

“It’s been up so long it might have advanced into a pit at this point. It will be an orange listing if so. Oh, and of course, if you complete it, I’ll be able to advance your badge from brown to red. Oh! I almost forgot. This came in with this week’s shipment from Morez.”

A thin disc was clinked down onto the page and presented with a dramatic slide. Back home she had a handful of peso coins taken as souvenirs from trips to Mexico, and the design had a striking similarity. An outer ring of black looked almost alive with some kind of magical property, and that ring surrounded an inner circle of brown with the familiar logo of the crossed hammer and spear. She rubbed a finger across the face, the natural reaction on being handed any coin shaped thing.

Touching it felt almost electric. It was the source she’d given up on joining imbued into the outer ring; she’d almost forgotten about it. The stones the elves were passing around as currency had a kind of naturally peaceful sensation to it. It was nothing like this. Her own felt sharp and wrathful, with a kind of weighted tension to it.

“Like I said, it could have advanced, and we’d hate to lose our new favorite hunter. There’s no penalty in coming back if it has. The danger would be considerably higher, no doubt.” He flashed her a winning smile.

“If it has, I’ll crush the whole tragic kingdom. I’ll try not to die.” She touched a finger down on the red page and it disappeared, then turned a exited the blue tinted funhouse.z

Spear resting on her shoulder like a hobo’s bindle, Karen started West down the main street in long strides.

Fake ass elves, I swear. Every word they shove out of their fake plastic smiles makes me want someone to die. Either them or me, I’m not picky. The badge dug into her palm as she squeezed it in her fist, eventually dismissing it as grumpily as possible.

If they appreciate it so much then why do they talk down to me all the damn time. I don’t need to be condescended to just because I’m taking jobs from fucking elflist.com.

Karen stepped off the main road to pass through a small field and out into the woods. The area was familiar, she used to run through here early on when she was working on her conditioning. That kind of training had since become a part of life, and she broke out into a run and disappeared into the trees.

You can do that? Change what I see? Karen thought, a little outrage in her tone.

The glowing orb appeared in her vision and ran a few quick loops around her head.

She grimaced, not at all liking what it was saying. I’m not intimidated by them. They are how they are and I can pick up on that. You’re an idiot if you can’t.

Karen said nothing. There was nothing to say that wouldn’t result in another high-minded speech from a spirit that had never actually lived among people. How could it possibly know anything? She just pumped her legs, picking her way through the woods. It would be hours before she might see the first landmark.

---

Do you think the nest core has advanced like pretty boy was saying? You’d be able to tell that before we have to get close, right? The last landmark listed was a ridgeline overlooking a lake which Karen had come across at dusk then retreated to camp the night about a mile back. The morning light had yet to top the mountains to the east, but the sun’s rays had already lightened the sky above.

Breakfast was an oversized leg of elfland hare, if instead of ears a hare had boney ridges and tried to ram into anything it saw as a threat. This did not exclude the pointy end of a spear carried by middle aged women with a victim complex. Maybe it was less hare and more goat. Haat? Gore? It hadn’t mentioned climate change even once.

Her mouth too full of breakfast to respond, Karen grunted an acknowledgment and continued clearing the bone. Hunting had never been something she’d been interested in, but she’d eaten things her father and brothers had killed. Making a meal out of something she alone had caught gave a feeling of agency. Tracking, hunting, killing, and eating this space Haat meant she was self-sufficient, needing no one but herself and nature.

With the bones buried in the remnants of the cookfire, Karen made her way to the ridgeline to wait out both the sunrise and the monster below.

There was movement; imps by the dozen as far as she could tell. They swarmed the lake, feasting on whatever was below and ranging off in all directions. After watching them for a while, Karen was able to get a good estimation of where all of them were gravitating from.

Shall we? She stood, dusting loose some clinging dirt after lying prone for so long. The spirit agreed, and she made her way down to range around toward the north side of the lake, taking care to stay well clear of the shore.

Run ins with the monsters were inevitable, but they seemed to always be distracted by anything that had large source concentrations. One that was digging into an animal hole took a spear to the back. A pair that were stripping a bush from leaf to root were nearly cut in half by a slash. That theme continued until she came, guided by the senses of the spirit, to the entrance of the nest.

Do I just stroll in? The entrance was clear, with neither of them able to see or sense anything hostile around.

Karen couldn’t help but agree. If the slot canyon or cave or whatever it is was was empty, she could probably guard the mouth against a bunch of the tiny buggers without getting surrounded. Not the worst plan b, and less expensive than the kind she used to get from walgreens. With enough speed though, she could pop in and pull out before there was a need for the b plan.

Moment of truth, she crept in, quiet as a ghost on her bare feet. Like a homeless specter. Or sneaky yoga instructor. When the daylight at the entrance to the cave gave out, she pulled out a glowing blue crystal which definitely hadn’t been stolen from a sconce in the hallway of the COPWAPTDT. Low and slow, spear point level, step by step.

The spirit’s voice was low and quiet, as if it too was worried of being overheard.

The cave – though calling it a cave was a little generous, it was more of a big scratch into the mountainside – stayed tight on both sides, closing tighter and tighter as she proceeded. Even with the open roof, little light made it in, proving the borrowed glowing crystal to be worth its weight in regular lanterns. Still worth less by weight than a flashlight. Something with a decent throw to it, magic rocks tend to be a little floody. And a warmer tint couldn’t hurt. But still, nice. It was a great rock. Top two of the whole cave. Whole Scratch.

Her target, and the cave’s reigning MVR, was near the back and glowing with a light that made promises of the power it was almost ready to unleash.

She did just that, not bothering to pick it up and inspect it. Once you see enough nest cores they start to all look like a drill. Boring. As soon as her finger was on the glassy surface it disappeared and her path was reversed, heading up the way she came toward the open forest. What she found at the entrance did not inspire confidence.

Do we wait?

The area was open, but not empty. The space she’d crossed to enter the cave was no longer lonely, now occupied by a half dozen of the rage imps.

Holy shit, do they know? With nothing to hide behind other than the darkness Karen pressed herself into the wall. The imps outside, true to their name, were in a rage. Tiny fists and claws slammed down onto whatever was nearby with trees, rocks, and other imps feeling their wrath.

Still, they raged against the machine outside. And continued to rage. Then did more continuing. Minutes passed and after a while the fear started to take on more boredom. Some would join, others would drift off, but there were always a few in the clearing, and who knew how many nearby. Even the occasional imp drifting close to the entrance stopped eliciting the fear it once had.

You think I can climb this thing? Come out the top and loop back around the lake? Karen was looking up toward the top of the crack where light from the sun was starting to crawl down on one side of the wall.

Advice? We can’t wait here all day, eventually this place is going to get lit up.

Somewhere nearby an imp screamed, and dozens of voices answered in the distance.

I’m not feeling especially patient. Maybe an idea that gets me far away from here?

Karen looked at the open mouth of the slot, already half lit in bright daylight. Getting there unnoticed was in itself a chore, even without throwing something out. But the choice was already made. She was driven to take action, not to take shit. She refused to be a spectator. Refused to allow dumb beasts to decide her course for her.

Low and slow was the name of the game. Low and slow and pressed onto the darkest part, spear point level, step by step. Like a Halliburton executive she had a rock picked out, prime and juicy, all she had to do was reach it.

There were four of them out front, three of them flinging anything flingable at the smallest one who would then bare its teeth and screech back after each narrow miss. If the sounds in the distance were any indication, this scene or one like it had been happening all over for most of the morning.

She knelt down, eyes forward and careful to keep the spear from banging. A trembling hand slipped into the sunlight, claimed her baseball sized chunk, and zipped back. Once more pressed into the wall, Karen allowed herself to continue breathing.

A fifth one had joined out front, tackling one and pummeling it from behind while the others hooted. Karen wished a fifth would join her belly and pummel her tension from behind. Slow step after slow step carried her forward until she reached the cave mouth. It was the most vulnerable position she’d been in, but all she needed was the right moment.

Two more imps scampered into the clearing apparently drawn by the noise of the continued beating. The fight seemed like a hot ticket as the two of them joined the ring around it. If imps carried cash, they would be laying out bets.

The tackled imp’s providence came when one of the spectators got too rowdy, bumping its assailant off balance and allowing it to buck free. It was on its feet and tearing off into the trees within seconds, all its brethren cackling and throwing stones at its back.

Once it disappeared, the din died down. Karen launched the third most valuable rock in the cave.