xx48.11.08 / 12:12 / Still Monday

Good news, I found Other Charlotte! Or saw her, anyway. Actually she was in the classroom right next to my Lit class, I spotted her when I came out but then lost her in the crowds, she can move surprisingly fast! Anyway, I'm pretty sure she came here to the lunch room so I'm just sitting at an empty table keeping an eye out for her. There are more students around than on Friday but still more than a dozen tables that are completely empty. Where are they all? Maybe doing sports practice or something, or club activities. I suppose—oh, there she is! Okay, I'll write more once I've talked to her and apologised and everything.

xx48.11.08 / 12:56 / Still Monday

Well, THAT was a relief. I caught up to Other Charlotte at one of the tables and asked if I could eat lunch with her and she didn't say no. After I sat down I launched right into my apology, I said how sorry I was that I was rude to her and really it was terrible behaviour and I feel so bad about it, and that she was nothing but kind to me and she didn't deserve to be treated like that and so on and so forth, it was pretty long and I repeated myself a bunch so I won't bother transcribing the whole thing here. After I'd finished she did this little head bob, not quite a nod, and she said:

"I'm glad you told me."

That kind of left me scratching my head. It's a weird thing to say to someone after they've apologised, right? Normally you'd say "That's okay" or "Apology accepted" or "I forgive you", that's what happens in books and TV shows and movies and things, but "I'm glad you told me"? I have NO idea what to make of that. Anyway, I didn't let it stop me, because I had more to say to her than just an apology, so next I thanked her for being so nice to me and helping me clean up, and for taking care of my uniform—she kind of perked up at that, like she remembered something.

"Oh," she said. "It's at my house. I can bring it for you tomorrow."

She took it home and washed it for me! This girl is a sweetheart! I was about to say something else but before I could she was gone, she excused herself while she was standing up and before I could go after her she was scurrying away—like I said, the girl can move! I was disappointed that I didn't get to talk to her more and maybe invite her to do something after school, but I guess I'll get the chance another time. I'm just glad she doesn't hate me for being so rude. At least I THINK she doesn't hate me, it's hard to tell with her.

After that I just finished my lunch and wrote all this out, now I'm—oh, great. Here comes Veronica and her Blonde Patrol (actually not all of them are blonde but anyway).

...

Arrrgh I hate that girl SO MUCH. She did her big 'pretend to be nice to Charlotte' thing again, of course I didn't fall for it but that didn't make it any less infuriating. She came right up to where I was sitting and flashed this big bright smile at me and said:

"I heard you haven't joined any clubs yet."

So what? How is that her business? What does she care whether I join any clubs or not, I just got here, I hope I'll LEAVE soon, WHY IS SHE DISAPPOINTED IN ME FOR NOT JOINING ANY CLUBS ARRRRRRGH.

Of course, at the time I didn't say any of that. I couldn't. My mouth just freezes up when she's around, along with the rest of me. Maybe I mumbled something like "so what?", I don't know. She smiled at me again.

"You should join the self-improvement program," she said. "It's really fun and not too intense, it's a good way to meet people and increase your confidence and make new friends—and really, Charlotte dear, you look like you could use a little self-improvement."

Then she left, thankfully, and I ran away just in case she decided to come back. As for her 'self-improvement program', fat chance! I'm not joining ANYTHING that has her anywhere NEAR it!

Bell's ringing. Lunchtime is over. Easy boring maths for afternoon class then home. Not real home, of course. Fake school home. But it's mine, and it's private, and it's safe, and right now having that is really welcome.