《The Thundering Tortoise Trio》69) En Guard
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FEI-LI CITY, WANGCHUNG KINGDOM, NORTHERN BORDER
The midday sun is sweltering. Summer is coming. Robbing season, Jian Cheng loves it… Something else he loves is coming too… His father.
Swaggering out of Golden Exchange Pavillion with a smarmy look on his smug face. It makes people want to punch him… A couple of complete strangers even bristle as he passes by…
Dammit! Facially, Jian Cheng takes a lot after his father… How often does he look like that?
The reason his father is smiling is because he’s just sold their entire collection of beast cores and corpses.
No, more correct.- he’s smiling because they gave him a big pile of silvers… For something he’d have done for free… Like father, like son… Except for the face hopefully…
They actually had a lot of top stuff to sell this time. Together they have been confident taking down zhuji star-three - and twice star-four - demonic beasts.
“Father, how did it go?”
“Well, naturally I, your father, drove a hard bargain and got top benefits!”
“How much exactly?”
“2,300 silvers!” About right. Well within Jian Cheng’s expectations and prior calculations. But his father isn’t finished…
“Got a lot for the Flame Leopard core too - lucky it wasn’t a Fire Jaguar one… They’re like some people’s opinions, utterly worthless.”
Fine. Enjoy your little jibe… But the “worthless” bit is just pure lying, as the two cores cost about the same. Jian Cheng had seen some on a shelf in the corner earlier… Just to check of course…
Sigh. It’s so annoying…All this running around baby-sitting his parents, so they agree to his every scheme… Jian Cheng is used to just announcing his plans.
In the past, when he’d say “jump” the others would say “how high?”
Well, Xiao Ma would… Yama would want benefits first…That darned Fatty Li Feng would just refuse… And Fen Ling would ask what “jump” means? “Jump” also wouldn’t cut it with Gung Hao either. He would have to say “fight” for the barbarian even to blink…
Aargh, what a motley bunch of useless underlings they’d been… He is so much better off without them…
The problem now is… His parents! They aren’t even actual underlings, but overlings… If there is such a thing…
After all, a son should be filial and follow his father and mother’s decrees at all times…
That’s what most people foolishly believe… Unfortunately including his own accursed parents…
He has to be ultra careful these days, he is dealing with his elders… Especially his zhuji tier-four father…
Now he has to plan in advance, before he can even begin to plan proper… Another level of depth has to be added to his conniving… This will be good for him, he tells himself… Constantly… As he manfully strives to change the lazy habits accrued over a lifetime of easy living…
He recently figured out that, the key is convincing them that everything is their own idea… And then praising it to the hilt, until they fully commit to it.
For example, yesterday he had a great idea, a sub-scheme in his overarching ‘Rise of the Iron Lord’ master plan. The idea is rock solid.
He has a vision of himself as the new wannabe bandit king in town.
Thus, JIan Cheng needs reliable information. He needs to understand all the rules of engagement. plus scout out the entire playing field before he can eliminate all his competition.
So he asks himself, who knows people best?
What? No, not friends or family… C’mon, it’s their enemies of course…
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Thus, his brilliant idea is to join a merchant convoy as a guard. This way they can get all the intelligence, whilst enjoying safety in numbers, all the while appraising the competition up close and personal, in actual combat.. Such fun too!
Unfortunately, he has the unwieldy millstone of his elders around his neck… Breathing down it all the time…
Still, there are always work arounds. For his future plans to succeed, he needs to plant seeds, control all the variables and subtly imply certain things… Usually…
“Father, if we hire an unused forge overnight, not only will it be cheaper but we won’t have to pay for an inn,” he said two nights ago, and it worked like a charm.
No point being overly subtle, not when there is no need. His father has been a skinflint since ages ago… Where do you think Jian Cheng gets it from? The fruit never falls far from the tree - not that it would matter even if it did, his father would still scoop it up, run away and sell it…
That’s why two nights ago they’d slept in the forest. And slept in, in general. So they will be well rested, for the long sleepless night ahead. It was easy when both of them were on board…
Even his mother doesn’t mind. After all these years she can easily fall asleep in a forge . “Better than a forest,” she said.
They all could. Why not? It’s always warm! Furthermore, both he and his father find the constant clanging strangely soothing… So for the Cheng family, every forge is hearth and a home away from home.
So last night, he and his father had gone at the forge hammer and tongs - quite literally - making an alloy out of steel and the special ore.
The result of which is a sword almost exactly like Fatty’s. Except it will never be called “Flamer” and doesn’t have any inscriptions, as Jiian Cheng still needs Xiao Ma for the sketching… Sigh… Such a useful underling she was…
Still, his father - after pricking his finger to blood bond - is overjoyed with his new ever evolving blade. He experiments making the blade elongate, shorten, widen at different ends, transform into a sabre, or a spear tip… Just before sun up, his mother has take it away from him, as the forge owner will be returning soon.
“Treasuring a jade ring is a crime.” she tells him when he protests. It is sadly true. Anyone who witnesses the unique properties of their weapons will likely have to die… But Jian Cheng still finds it fairly rich coming from her, as she had been playing with her newly-forged sword and dagger set equally as much.
His mother ended-up settling on fighting two-handed with one sword for attack while converting the dagger into a deeply-notched sword breaker… He is secretly impressed, and - even more secretly for safety’s sake - surprised at her superb forms and movement skills.
He is super pleased too. Now both his parents have brand new weapons, and nowhere to use them.
Fighting is strictly forbidden in the city, upon pain of death… Ke-ke, he smirks in the background. The first rule of manipulation, create a need, then fulfil it…
In exactly half the time it takes his mother to fetch breakfast from a nearby food cart, Jian Cheng makes his move, sidling up to the idling Zhang Cheng.
“He-he, so mother was just telling me about your cunning plan to join a merchant convoy since we’re crossing the border anyway.”
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“Brat, just mind your own business. Stop always trying to trick me into your stupid little plans.”
Dammit. Not subtle enough this time. The exact amount needed seemingly keeps shifting…
“Ha-ha, I was only asking because it will be good to get our new blades wet with all that bandit blood… Plus the rich rewards of course…”
Zhang Cheng sleepily fingers the hilt of his new sword, considering… Slowly… Finally, he yawns… ” Fine, let’s find a caravan and sign up.”
Wait, that didn’t appear to be any more subtle than what he was saying before… It just happened to be what his father wanted to hear at that exact moment… Hmm, good to know…
After breakfast the three of them head for the warehouse district. They ask around and surprisingly there are several options. Four caravan companies in all, and three are hiring.
It turns out to be truly a transient business… Apparently, lots of adventurers and hunters hire-on then simply run-off at the other end… After getting paid of course…
Ninqi tier-nine Li Na Cheng, now known as Lina Chang, is at the lower end of the acceptable spectrum, but Zhong Chang’s tier-four is right near the top. Leaving their son squarely in the middle, but still raising eyebrows due to his obvious youth…
Even after he tells them he is a baby-faced 20. What? He’s big enough, and has several whiskers already… His cultivation is still too high though - even for his fake age… For someone supposedly raised outside of the big sects…
If they knew that due to the effects of the guixigong, he will be rocketing through this whole realm in just a few years, they would be stunned mullets! Mostly because the guixigong is regarded as an utterly unbelievable myth, but also a little bit at his startling progress…
Overseer Wei is in charge, and is clearly suspicious. “How do I know that you aren’t some unskilled silkpants core-disciple dandy out of his sect on the lam… "
“Do I look like a damned dandy?”
“Son, there’s no need to swear, watch your mouth.”
Great. His mother has jumped in. Worse, horse-face Wei hasn’t finished. “It happens from time to time.. And when they die, the sect’s get all antsy at us…How about I test you out?”
“Fine…” And it is fine… For him… However unfortunately for the older man, he is unable to land a single blow with his wooden waster.
Jian Cheng is just evading, practising the Nae-Nae steps his mother has been teaching him.
“Stop dancing about.” Overseer Wei is old, aching all over, out of breath and frustrated about all of it.
“You think Bam Balam Black Betty, the Crazy Frogs, Fun Qi Chickens or Gang Nam are going to just let you waltz into their territories without a fight?”
They better not. Jian Cheng flicks his wrist and Overseer Wei’s waster is sent spinning into the air. At the same time, his own wooden sword is resting on his foe’s shoulder aimed at his neck. Safe to say he’s got the job.
“Ha-ha, Brother Cheng, I find you first!”
Aagh! He knows that booming voice! It’s bloody Gung Hao and he’s completely blowing their cover in front of a large crowd of nosy strangers.
“My name is Chang. Jiang Chang.”
They are on the run after all, naturally he’s taken some foolproof precautions, such as these heavily encrypted aliases.
“Really? All time we at Misty Cloud Sect, I call you Jian Cheng… Me so stupid.”
Aargh! Almost fool proof. Boils down to how foolish the fool is…
He grabs the barbarian by his fur pants, careful not to tug them off completely, and drags him into an isolated shady spot under a nearby tree.
“How did you find—” He starts his interrogation. “Wait! You said ‘find you first’… Who else is looking for me? Not the bloody sect is it?”
“No, not sect—”
Gung Hao shakes his head emphatically. Whew! Dodged an arrowhead there…
“—Much, much worse… Powerful yuanying fighter and girl like butterfly, but stronger…”
How very mysterious? And completely frightening at the same time… And indeed much, much worse…
“You no worry. I tell them you go east to home village.”
Excellent… Wait, what if he had stayed at home? He’d be a dead man for sure… Damn, dumb bumbling underlings, every time…Failure, without fail… Still it’s nice to see a friendly if simple face.
“So you finally escaped, huh?”
“Ha, yes, I go along with strangers, but next day I tell expert I need go home. He believe me. He bit idiot… But nice.”
“You’re not going home?”
The barbarian tribes are just over the nearby border so only a few days on foot…
“Nope, father always make me read… Or go stupid meetings… I go kill beasts in forest, you come?”
“I can’t, but why don’t you come with us? We’ve just joined a merchant convoy and will be fighting bandits… And getting paid for it!”
“Bah!” Gung Hao spits on the ground. “Guards no good. Guards no fight. Cowards give bribe to bandits. They all friends…”
They are? Sort of makes sense… Lucky he learned this early enough to adapt his schemes…
Suddenly he has another idea! It’s so brilliant he just wishes he could share it with someone… Someone who will remember it in the time it takes to make tea later… Or someone who won’t just cuff him across the back of the head… Or smile and say, “that’s nice dear, have you asked your father about it?”…
Aargh! He decides to share some of it anyway. He can always re-tell Gung Hao again later… Besides, it’s bait for a trap!
“What if, they didn’t?” he whispers. “What if every time we meet bandits we battle them?”
“Fight?”
“Yes, fight.”
“No, bribe?”
“No, bribes.”
Not for the bandits at least. He, the Iron Lord, will gladly take them off the slimy merchant’s hands though… He-he, this is getting better and better…
“We fight together? Be fun. Gung Hao come now.”
He’s 80 percent sure the barbarian has already agreed, but Jian Cheng still shakes his hand to seal the deal, just in case.
“So, how are the others?”
“Uh, they all die—”
What? No! Jian Cheng’s heart stops then sinks like a stone.
“—But Gung Hao thinks it trick. No find no bodies. Why you no see them? Butterfly say she going look for you…”
She was? Jian Cheng almost forgets to curse out Underling 101. Yes, that’s how mad he is. He currently only has three sort-of underlings, yet still drops him a hundred spots!
“What about the wedding then?”
“Dong Long go splat! Ha-ha so funny! He die. No wedding, just funeral.”
Splat! How funny indeed… He wants to ask for a fuller description but that would just be wasting his time.
There’s no point digging too deep with Gung Hao, there’s simply nothing there… What you see is what you get… It’s generally a quality…
“Which way were the other three headed?”
“East. We go east all trip.” The barbarian shakes his head, clearly still annoyed. “Should go north for more big beasts, but no, go east all time…”
Oh, no. They are heading for Rusty Creek… And so are the threatening strangers…
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