Chapter 21

♪ Ew, That’s Dirty ♪

Me: "Awe, poor Masada can't level up all his skills right now. His [Shadow Step] is way underused since it's so bright out and there isn't really anything creating shadows on the Bosbron Meadows."

The first day of the slime battle was the longest day that I’ve experienced since coming to Driscoll. It’s been well over 30 hours since sunrise today. There’s been, what, 8 suns; maybe 9? Not to mention they’ve been more spread out than usual. I’m starting to feel sleepy even though my energy points have barely been used and there's no sign the suns will all go down soon, so maybe I should take a short rest after I select a class option transformation.

Avelian has gradually begun to slow down in his punches and hasn’t used his blur skill for quite some time. Malady, on the other hand, seems to be cleaning without losing any energy whatsoever.

________________

From the perspective of Malady Teostra, after the signal was fired to start the battle:

I partook in the [Red Moon Berry]s that Sir Tru so generously gave me the moment the fire bolts passed through the sky. My eyes went wide at my absurd status,

[~Status~]

[Health: 1,689,600 / 1,689,600]

[Mana: 563,200 / 563,200]

[Energy: 1,700,671 / 1,700,864]

These numbers… Is this truly within the realm of possibility? But of course, I shook myself out of my rhetorical distraction. Focusing on the battle must take priority. Slimes resist physical damage and being that it’s an acid variant, it would likely erode the blades given to me by [Lady Avacyn]. I do believe that mucus counts as a mess to be cleaned in accordance with my skill [Unlimited Rag Work].

[Unlimited Rag Work lvl 10: Wraps equipped rag with mana, sending the cleaned [Mess] into the [Void].]

[Mess: [~Select~].]

‘bling’

...

[Mess: Dirt, Sand, Dust, Ashes, Exposed Liquid (non-living), Exposed Liquid (Living), Toxins, Adhesives, Rot.]

Yes, I do believe so. Plucking my pristine [White Handkerchief] from my [Tough Apron], I sprinted at full speed to my first opponent, throwing myself off balance from the unacquainted quickness. “Aaaah ah ah!” I squealed embarrassingly begging the ancestors that Tru didn’t notice such unsightly behavior. Thankfully, when I turned to peer at him, he had been eating the same berries which he so warmly gifted to me. “*Pheeew*” I placed a hand over my breast as I observed my chest rise from a sigh of relief. I noticed my knight’s gaze shift from Avelian to my direction. My heart jumped prior to realizing that I must continue my assault. Having a better understanding of my newly gained speed, I continue towards my antecedent foe.

It’s as though everything around me is standing still, confounded by my ridiculous speed. Merely reaching the slime caused intense ripples to spread over its surface. I can’t show fear or incompetence to Tru. Just clean as though it were a baby’s mess. Now that my handkerchief is coated with purple essence, my next step is to thoroughly wipe down the viscous fluid making up the slime’s body. My hand swiftly grazed the goo in circles, seemingly erasing each part touched from existence. Once all the green gunk had disappeared, a hasty stomp to the balls forced them to crack open. I do believe gathering the evidence of subjugation would be far too tedious and dangerous to do during battle, not to mention whether or not I can carry them all… I shall leave them here for now.

Dawning my cleaning aura, I can’t help but begin to waltz to and fro as I wipe down each slime. If only I had an accompanist to provide some music to my dance. This is rather enjoyable. Again, I shook myself out of my potentially perilous beguilement. My ladies have often used the words relentless and vigorous in regard to my habit of cleanliness. This is true regardless of time, place, or size of the mess thanks to the passive [Servants Never Rest] given by my [Maid] class.

[Servants Never Rest lvl 10: When engaged in a task for the purpose of cleaning a [Mess], energy consumption is reduced by 100%.]

[Mess: [~Select~].]

I noticed Sir Tru obliterating one slime, unintentionally creating a more hideous version. Surely, he can take care of himself, I thought out of respect for my savior. My new ‘chore’ provided an atmosphere I much prefer when compared to my previous lifestyle. Life is better this way. I’m glad those days are gone. *Sigh* Why must my mind wander back to such a time…

Tru saved me from dwelling on my past self, “Malady! Avelian and I need a moment. Will you be able to handle it on your own for a minute?”

________________

From the perspective of Tru, present time:

Malady answered me quickly, but it looked like she flinched when I called her name. I hope she’s doing alright, “Yes, Sir Tru! I am right as rain for the time being. Do Take your time to recuperate!” Awe, it’s adorable hearing such a soft voice try to span this distance.

I can’t just dilly-dally though. Let’s get this show on the road! A window appears before my eyes at the thought of ‘Items’.

‘bling’

[~Equipped~]

[name: Amulet of the Deer],

[name: Robe of The Scholar],

[name: Wool Tefillin],

[name: Lesser Drake Full Set [~Select~].]

[~Guavgrog Satchel~] contents:

N/A

[~Ring of Space~] contents:

[name: Masada Schafer],

<{ [name: Wooden Chair], }>

[name: Brightgem],

[name: Boots of the Guavgrog],

[name: Leather Water Skin],

[name: Abascus Rope],

[name: Rejuvenation Powder (10%)],

[name: Orichalcum Chest],

[name: Bracelet of Hearth],

[name: Epic of Helmdrig],

[name: Biography of Gabriel and Bartholomew Morrow],

[name: List of Mana Potion Ingredients],

[name: Abascan College's Rite of Passage],

[name: Axe of the bear],

[name: horse],

[name: 2h Lion],

[name: yoke],

[name: Blade Wrapping],

[name: leather leaf tree] x2,

[name: Orichalcum] x2,

[name: wolf] x2,

[name: kobold] x4,

[name: combat knife] x5,

[name: rusty spear] x5,

[name: Silver] x5,

[name: rusty sword] x7,

[name: leather bag] x8 [~Select~],

[name: leather pouch] x8 [~Select~],

[name: guavo tree] x16,

[name: Acid Slime Core Fragment] x17,

[name: Red Moon Berry] x872

“Ah-ha! There we go.” My [Wooden Chair] appears before me and begs me to take a seat. *Creeeeak* went the old chair as I pulled up the [~Notification~] menu a few hills away from the front lines.

[~Notifications~]

‘bling’

‘All skills have reached Max level at the MAX level of Beast Master, Synergist.’

‘It is recommended to advance your class before taking any further action.’

“Further down…”

…

…

…

‘bling’

‘Beast-Master, Synergist has reached the MAX level.’

‘You may transform or continue as a Beast-Master, Synergist.’

‘Transform / Continue’

‘bling’

‘Summoned Saboteur has reached MAX level.’

‘You may transform or continue as a Summoned Saboteur.’

‘Transform / Continue’

I’ll try selecting one. Hopefully, it asks for confirmation…

‘bling’

‘Continue with your current class?’

‘Yes / No’

Definitely not yet.

‘bling’

‘Beast-Master, Synergist has rea-’

Me: “Blah, blah, blah.”

‘Transform / Continue’

‘bling’

‘Select an option from your Transformation list.’

1 ‘bling’

[Requirements met to obtain the class [-Beast Summoner, Synergist-].]

[requirements: Summon a [Beast]. Possess at least 2 Synergist class skills.]

[description: Summons many [~Eidolons~]. Empowers the [~Eidolons~] to both defend and attack for the [~Summoner~].]

"Mmmm. I’d rather just have Masada. It’d be annoying to take care of more than just myself here. Isn’t this practically the same as my current class, just not focused on Masada?"

2 'bling'

[Requirements met to obtain the class [-Beast of Burden, Craftsman-]. Notice: some current skills may be changed or lost.]

[requirements: Control a [Beast]. Possess at least 2 Synergist class skills. Build a shelter with the controlled [Beast].]

[description: Works together with the accompanying [Beast] to craft items and structures at 2X efficiency.]

"Clearly a non-combat class. I wouldn’t even be a summoner class type anymore, most likely. Paaass.”

3 'bling'

[Requirements met to obtain the class [-Puppet Enhancer-]. Notice: some current skills may be changed or lost.]

[requirements: Use the skills of a familiar at will. Have at least 1 skill that enhances a familiar. Directly control a familiar at will.]

[description: You prefer controlling others during life and death circumstances. Now you can control a more powerful version of them.]

"This one makes more sense but sounds kinda unethical. I’m not about controlling others. Yahweh granted free will to mankind, so can I really accept this class with an upright moral conscience? It’d be like a spit in his face saying, ‘I think I know better than you.’ So again, paaaass.”

At this point, I noticed that Masada fell asleep. With a wry smile, I think, I guess this big guy wants me to control everything anyway though, haha.

4 'bling'

[Requirements met to obtain the class [-Shepherd-]. !Warning! All current skills will be lost.]

[requirements: Survive the attack of an [Arch Druid]. Have at least 1 familiar who has never received damage. Be loved by at least 1 Elf.]

[description: Use nature magic to protect your [Flock]; the familiars that are less than a certain distance from the [-Shepherd-]. Each familiar gains bonus SP while in your [Flock]. Your [Strength], [Agility], [Stamina], [Intelligence], and [Spirit] are increased by half the total number of all familiars in your [Flock].]

Is love even a measurable trait for the system to say, ‘be loved by at least one elf’? “On paper, it sounds good. But I’ll only ever have one in my [Flock]. Does that mean I gain half of a stat point? And Masada doesn’t need any more SP, hahaha. On the other hand, maybe I should consider changing my battle strategy and getting more summons. That’s the direction the system seems to be going anyway… Possibly.”

5 'bling'

[Requirements met to obtain the class [-Beastserker-]. Notice: some current skills may be changed or lost.]

[requirements: Survive an attack enhanced by [Fury]. Survive after losing more than 95% of your Health. Lift an object beyond your Strength’s capability to lift. Summon a familiar feared by most who see it.]

[description: The [~Summoner~] of a truly frightening [Beast]. Your [Fury] empowers you beyond the limits of the system. Gain tremendous Strength and Stamina at the cost of self-control.]

“Nope. Nope nope nope. I need self-control to make considerate decisions when I sack myself. I can’t just go sacking other people in a rage or [Eternal Love] will go to waste. Mmmm [-Shepherd-], or continue with [-Beast Master, Synergist-]…”

Malady’s waning voice barely broke through the barrier of notices, which were stealing away my attention like a sailor being lulled by a siren, before perplexity got the better of me. When I lifted my eyes, a wave of slimes beset the dreamy dark elf, “S-Sir Truuu!” Her previously impressive cleaning speed was unrecognizable from the start of the battle. Ah, no doubt the berries wore off. Despite her practiced maneuvers, she was being slowly encroached on by innumerable balls of acid.

Unable to continue thinking about a decision, I just quickly went back to the first class notice and spammed yes, “Meh, I like being a ‘master’ anyway.”

‘bling’

‘Beast-Master, Synergist ha-’

‘bling’

‘Continue with your cur-’

‘Yes / No’

‘bling’

‘The level ceiling of Beast-Master, Synergist has incre-’

Without giving any heed to the new class upgrades, I popped 10 more [Red Moon Berry]s straight from my ring to my mouth and dashed to rescue my companion. I was caught up in the heat of the moment. Without thinking, I appear beside her with my body twisted to make use of my hips for added power to my swing. Devastation was unleashed, Masada clobbering numerous slimes with a half-moon-shaped, horizontal smash. The wind alone created a clearing of nearly 6m in diameter.

'bling'

My back broke out in a cold sweat. Although singling out my back would be unfair; my whole body was threatening to become a waterfall at the sheer planarian decision I made. All the slimes hit were fused together, minus the first few struck, whose cores were utterly pulverized by the force of such a manly swing if I don’t say so myself. *Ahem* need I say that I had already applied [Weight Up] to Masada? Okay, okay. I’ll try to remember next time. Anyway, Slimezilla appeared. Or should I say,

[Elder Predatory Muck Tr 18]

Woah. I had no other thoughts as I stood there with my mouth open so wide a train could have driven through it. As I gawked, a pile of slime as big as a suburban house back in Louisiana began to compress. Greyish-purple gunk squirmed while making plopping and slurping sounds, gradually shrinking to a form no taller than myself.

This is bad. It took the shape of a little girl in a dress. Color slowly dyed the figure into a natural complexion before shock took me. “Wait. Don't I… know that girl,” I started to think. But then, the girl’s arms raised into a form pleading with me for a hug the same way her watery eyes were. The monster didn’t make a sound, but I started slowly walking towards it. “Sir Tru, no! That’s a monster!” Malady shouted, well, more of a scream than a shout, piercing my ears and causing my right ear to ring. She snapped me out of it.

Not a millisecond passed before the girl’s face twisted into an evil grin. ‘Her’ arms splashed out towards me but thank Yahweh my speed and awareness were overshadowing the muck’s so badly; it was like I dodged its lazy movements in a slow-motion scene straight out of the matrix. Had I not refreshed the berries before jumping in, there’s no way I could have even perceived its speed, though.

Malady, on the other hand, had no such boosts active. She was standing behind me to my right when I dodged. The splash wasn’t heading towards her until I ducked out of the way and the arms seemed to change their trajectory in an instant. It’s too close! I won’t make it in time!

Masada boomed through the air while tearing my shoulder from the hysterical strength given by my body’s abuse of adrenaline. The awkward length of my greatswordstaff became abundantly clear with the strained movements necessary to swat the acid away from my current position, bent over backward in a Neo-like dodge when I previously avoided the outstretched arms. The streams of acidic gunk were severed only after grazing Malady’s face, burning her skin to the muscle in the short time it made contact.

Since Masada broke the sound barrier with my desperate saving swipe, the blast of wind threw Malady backward several feet. That same wind force sent the substance attached to her face far into the distance, dissipating as it split into smaller and smaller specs of slime until it became one with the air.

Malady: “Eeeaaaahh!!!”

I turned towards my friend to check her condition, only to realize I was way too late, “Malady!!!”

Anger for her sake burned in my veins as my whole body shook with rage. Yo, take a chill pill. Don’t wanna kill yourself, yet. Thankfully, Yahweh helped me cool off before I rushed in with reckless abandon. “*Wheeew*,” letting out a breath brought me back to myself. I can’t see its core anymore. Maybe that smash that made this thing would work better on a single target. The first slimes I hit last time were shattered…

But the battlefield wasn’t forgiving enough a place to allow my typical contemplation to continue. The [Elder Predatory Muck] is fast, but it still couldn’t compare to me on berries! At the same moment I dodged, a flash of inspiration struck me. With these stats, there’s no way the muck will injure me that badly, right? Whatever. Here goes nothing!

In a blur of movement speed unperceivable to Malady, I made a serious dash to the side of little Mrs. Muckyhood, Masada hoisted to unleash a downward smash. I made sure to tilt my trusty [Eidolon] partly away from Malady’s direction and let the hammer fall. I could feel my legs burning with sizzling sounds. But looking at my HP provided more than enough confidence that I made a good choice.

[~Status~]

[Health: 290,567 / 304,128]

[Mana: 3,918,249 / 3,919,872]

[Energy: 984,211 / 991,232]

A loud screeching sound erupted from the pile of swampy grossness left over, while I checked my status. A black ball that had been crushed into tiny pieces rose into the air with a black glow, reforming itself into a ball. The resemblance of a slime core began to show when I yelled, “Not in my house!” in a South African accent, and rapidly smashed the core again, and again, and again. As a result, the Human Plains were scarred with a crater deep enough to hit bedrock before the berries wore off, along with the final remaining lifeforce of our foe. The subsequent notification was music to my ears.

‘bling’

‘You have defeated [Elder Predatory Muck Tr 18 Lvl 1].’

'Defeating a monster with 1 or more class transformations above your own grants 1 level for each transformation.'