The castle creaked in the middle of the night, and I heard noises that frightened me dreadfully. I woke up consistently throughout the night—fully expecting the king to come in, stinking of alcohol, to consummate our marriage.

I pulled the sheets up to my chin and stared at the ceiling sleeplessly.

Eventually, I heard voices outside the door.

“Step aside, templar.” Paris said.

“My King, please do not touch her. She is crying and in a bad way. If you have kindness in your heart, you will give her time…” Terry began, but Paris cut him off.

“I will do what I want with my wife. Step aside.” Paris repeated and I heard Terry get shoved against the wall.

The door creaked open and I screwed my eyes shut. I pretended to be asleep.

I heard his footsteps approaching and I breathed harshly. I felt him sit on the bed.

There was silence for what felt like minutes, but he eventually said, “you poor beast… I won’t touch you, my innocent queen.”

And then I heard him shuffle back across the bedroom and leave.

My heart was thumping loudly for a few minutes, but when he didn’t return, I could finally smile and relax. I slept soundly through the rest of the night.

__

I slept through most of the morning as well, my diary.

“She’s very tired! The king must have kept her up!” I heard a repulsive man say to Terry outside of the bedroom.

“I won’t have you speak of the king and queen that way. You will show them respect.” Terry replied.

“Whelp!” Replied the man.

I went back to sleep after that again.

__

Eventually, I heard a knock on the door.

“It’s time for dinner, Mimi.” Paris called. “Get dressed.”

I didn’t feel like moving. I didn’t feel doing anything. With a blank expression, I wrapped myself all-the-tighter in my blanket.

“Get up.” Paris called sternly, and then I heard him walk away.

Terry entered the room after a moment and he hastily came to my side. “You have to get up, Mimi! The king is angry and has promised you a black eye if you don’t!”

I stared blankly forward and did not reply.

“Princess! You must get up!” Terry encouraged me.

I slowly pulled myself to a sitting position for his sake. Terry grinned. “That’s the Mimi I know! I’ll go get your handmaiden!”

Terry left and I looked down miserably. I could think of no reason to live. I wanted to die. I wanted to be spared any more humiliation and pain.

My handmaiden—who was a moth slave—arrived and set about picking a dress for me to wear from my closet.

It took me a moment to realize I knew this moth… I was elated to see her! This was one of my many half-sisters, Gerta! For a moment, misery was replaced with pure joy.

“Gerta!” I squealed joyously and hopped out of bed. I tried to embrace her, but she stepped away from me with a furious look on her face.

“Is there something wrong…?” I asked her worriedly.

We two had never been on the best of terms—she was always so serious, while I was so silly—but for her to step away from me in my time of need…

“Did you have fun sleeping your way into the enemy’s bed? Did you have fun leaving your people behind?” Gerta answered furiously.

“What…?” I replied. “I—I’m sorry. I don’t wish to be his wife—please let me explain--!”

“You have your riches and your handsome human man, but you will never have my respect.” Gerta told me as she filled up the bathtub in the bedroom with hot water from a bucket.

I sniffled pathetically. “Don’t you hate me, too! I’m sorry! I never wanted any of this to happen!”

“Fake tears. Always with the fake tears to get what you want.” Gerta snorted. “Get in the tub, I’ll scrub you down.”

I stared at her silently and pleadingly for a moment, but she wasn't moved by my sadness. I obeyed her and climbed into the tub. “Please tell me… Is Kieran alive?”

“They’re all dead but you and I, Sister. I’m sorry that I survived rather than a sibling you love truly.” Gerta said sarcastically.

I was wounded. “How could you say that…? I love all of you! It was Daddy who liked you and your mother the least!”

Gerta purposely dragged the scrubber through my fur roughly and I yelped. “Yes, and you were his precious, pretty ivory princess who everyone liked best because she was so simple and stupid that she was charming!”

“Please don’t be angry at me, Sister. You’re all I have…” I replied with another atrocious sniffle.

“Clearly not. I’m sure you’re having fun with your king. You don’t need me. Step out.” Gerta commanded firmly.

She toweled me off and then helped me into the dress Caerwyn’s seamstress friend had made me.

Gods, I missed him.

I missed how he spoiled me—I missed how he never judged me and admired every positive aspect there was about me… Which I thought, in the end, weren’t many.

I looked at myself in the tall mirror hanging from the wall in the bedroom and felt very empty. I wanted to show it to Caerwyn again and have him exclaim how pretty I looked in it… I sank to my knees slowly and hugged my torso for comfort.

“Hurry, Sister. The king in waiting for you.” Gerta said cruelly and left.

I let myself weep for a few more minutes and then tiredly got to my feet and joined Paris for dinner in the dining hall.