With all three of us working at a decent pace it wasn’t long before Vilmar had fulfilled his quota. I didn’t know what it was but he seemed to, so I wasn’t about to question whether or not I was going to be able to eat. Through our trips I had managed to exhaust myself by expending too much mana and, because of my slow regeneration, it was going to take a while before I was able to cast anything again.

Regeneration Health - 8 Health per second Mana - 1 Mana per minute

I had asked Lindi what other spells we could use and, aside from an ember spell used to light fires for the smiths and cooks and a weak light spell for the miners, pretty much everything was blocked by the brand. Apparently the only reason that quest wasn’t blocked was because you needed to be able to cast the spell to accept quests from it. I wasn’t about to try to figure out why that was the case but I was happy for it anyway since it served as the reason I understood how to use magic.

By the time we finished, we were covered in dust that stuck to our skin due to sweat. The dust that had made its way into my nose was particularly annoying and at one point I had ended up coughing from breathing too much of it in triggering another bout of dry heaving. Overall, I was happy to have the chance to leave that section of the ‘camp’.

Vilmar and Lindi had fallen into a casual conversation and I decided to walk behind them in order to avoid drawing attention to myself. I was wary of the Demons that seemed to be on every other corner in order to keep an eye on us but there was a relaxed almost lazy way in which they did their jobs. Maybe it had something to do with how long they had been here, maybe it was just that boring to watch people do back breaking labor, I wouldn’t know since I was on the other side of the equation.

Regardless of this, it didn’t stop me from using identify any time I had recovered enough mana to do so without dropping below seventy. There was no real reason aside from practice but it felt like something that would benefit me in the long run to keep doing, especially if the spell was as strong as Vilmar had made it out to be.

Eventually I began to smell fire, plants, and food in addition to hearing the murmur of a large group of people talking. Vilmar and Lindi headed towards the end of some line I couldn’t see and I followed them. Most people didn’t even notice me and because of this I found myself getting pushed around a lot and ended up losing sight of Vilmar and Lindi because of it.

Locating the two using their scents wasn’t possible due to the sheer number of smells that I was being exposed to so I was left to worm my way through the crowd without anything to guide me. I decided that the best thing for me to do, since I knew there was a line to get food, was to walk to the front and work my way back. Doing this was fairly easy since the smells of fire and cut plants were the strongest.

While making my way to the front, I found myself watching the people and how they walked around each other. There was nothing special about how it was done, but it still seemed like everyone knew were to go and when to step out of the way of someone else. It was, at the very least, starting to give me a sense of time for how long we had been here. From what I could guess it was at least a few months if not years. Maybe that was why Vilmar was so reluctant to talk about my age, because I would figure out how long we had been here and how much of my memory I had really lost.

The problem was I didn’t know if being sixteen was important. If I wasn’t going to start aging until I reached level a hundred then wasn’t anything before that point considered a child? And that was another thing, I was the only one my size which meant that there were likely no other children. I started to internally debate if I should ask Vilmar or Lindi that question.

My rumination was stopped when someone placed their hand on my shoulder and directed me towards them. I looked up and saw that I had reached Vilmar while walking down the line and had nearly gone past him. There wasn’t much to do while we waited for food as it was apparent that Vilmar and Lindi would rather talk than explain things too me at the moment. I wasn’t angry about this but I was bored and that let my mind wander.

There were other times I had been bored, like when I had to learn the proper rituals for asking Isra to protect us for the cycle of her moon until we could do the same with Asra’s moon. Instead of being happy for remembering something, I was bitter. We were supposed to be protected if we prayed and conducted the dances and songs and I remembered doing them faithfully even if I didn’t like some of them. They had failed us and what I was, no, what we were going through now was their fault. They were supposed to protect us but they didn’t.

While stewing in my bitterness a bowl of something that smelled heavenly was put into my hands. It was tempting to just eat it now but I could see that I would burn myself if I did so. I put off indulging myself and listening to my stomach in favor of being able to taste the food and followed Vilmar and Lindi to an area that everyone was sitting in and eating.

It was strange seeing everyone else so relaxed, almost if they had accepted that this was now their lot in life; I hated that. The fact that they were able to think this was normal or even bearable was unfathomable for me. Nothing about this was normal; it was hell.

“Rea, what’s the last heritage you have?”

“Hm? Oh um.”

Deamon Heritage

Evolution - At level 15, 50, and 100 you can add a racial trait to a heritage.

Dark Magic - You can use dark magic penalty free.

Dark Vision - You can see clearly in low light.

Storage Horns - Your horns act as mana batteries and can store extra mana for later use.

Contradictory Growth Increasing Strength or Vitality takes twice as much time Severely Malnourished Strength and Vitality do not increase after a level up Stunted

Due to improper care while in the primary development phase your future physical growth with be permanently limited.

Additionally, the effects of Severely Malnourished will persist even after the trait is removed.

“Those last two really don’t sound good. They’re not are they?”

Vilmar started to speak but Lindi cut him off.

“Unfortunately no and there’s nothing we can do about that right now or in the foreseeable future. But that doesn’t mean we can’t explain these things to you in the hope that we do manage to get out of here.”

“Is that why all of these people around us seem so complacent? So accepting of this? Because they have hope?”

Vilmar took advantage of Lindi’s silence to answer my question before she could.

“For some yes. Hope is a powerful thing but it can also be dangerous if you put too much stock in it. We can talk about dark magic and your horns in a little bit but for now let’s eat.”

Because of it’s smell I was expecting the sludge that filled my bowl to taste good but I was greatly disappointed to find that was completely bland and tasted of nothing. I almost would have preferred to burn my mouth and eat it sooner. This was something that actually had the chance to be nice, but it was yet again another indicator that we were being screwed over. More and more I was realizing why people decided to hang onto their hope. It was a good escape from the reality around them.

“Doesn’t taste like much, does it?”

It sounded like a question but it was easy to tell it was rhetorical. I didn’t exactly hide my disappointment at the sludge.

“It’s made of poetan root. Has just enough nutrition in it to keep you alive and moving but not enough to do anything else but make it to the next meal. It’s one of the real reasons no one has tried to start a revolt. No one has the energy or strength to do so and by this point most of us are just as mentally exhausted as we are physically.

“Rea, you and I don’t have as much of an issue with this, at least on the physical side, because some of the Demon’s like to keep us around to satisfy themselves without loosing anyone from their work force. Because of that we’re able to get the very rare meal that’s much better than most.”

Vilmar started talking in pace of Lindi so she could finish eating.

“Your being severely malnourished is something that can be removed by fixing the problem that is causing it; namely better food. The real problem is stunted and there is nothing that can be done about it since it’s a permanent trait like your horns and being coldblooded. Things that you see using the status screen are just the spell’s way of interpreting your strengths, weaknesses, and your body. It can tell you things you may not know but it isn’t perfect. It flawed because it’s trying to not only capture the nature of a person but also their birthright, abilities, and many other things. It can’t process all of that accurately at most levels, at least not quickly.”

“I though you said it was the strongest spell.”

“It is and the reason for that hasn’t changed. If two people of similar skill fight each other the one with more information about their opponent wins. It doesn’t matter if the specifics are accurate or not because it’s knowing what the other person can do that gives you an advantage.

“Take your horns for an example. They’re small, they will remain small because you’re a woman and you’re not a mage, but because of that they can be easily hidden. Our horns store mana and this allows us to cast spells beyond when we should be able to; it’s perfect for unleashing a surprise attack when someone thinks you can no longer cast anything. But being able to keep that ability a secret is what makes it strong. It doesn’t do us much good now, but other applications allow us to avoid being fatigued after using simple spells.”

“So how do I use them then?”

“You can’t yet. You don’t know how to sense or control mana to take it out of them. I could do it for you but it wouldn’t serve much of a purpose since you can’t draw from anything that I would have removed.”

“Okay so that’s taking it out. What about putting it in? Can I do that?”

“That happens naturally when you fully recover your mana. Any excess that you would normally not need slowly fills your horns until they’re full. Your regeneration for mana was one a minute which is amazing for level one. My mana regeneration is only twelve per minute and lindi’s is six.”

I interrupted Vilmar with a question.

“But why is that good?”

“Ah. You’re only level one so you have lots of room to grow. I’m level two hundred and fifteen but look at how low my regeneration for mana is. Lindi is barely past level a hundred and her regeneration is half of mine. She would probably have about the same amount as me at the same level. But neither of us sees much growth in intelligence or wisdom when we level up. You do.

“Because you have avian heritage you naturally get more intelligent as you level up. Once you reach level one hundred you’ll probably have twice the regeneration that I do if not more. But we’ve missed a point here. These regenerations are all per minute and normally the same applies to health.

“That’s why the Demons have such an interest in you and Lindi. You heal in seconds what takes others hours, days, or even weeks and that’s before the ability gets better as you grow. We had stories of Deamon’s with greater regenerator living without aging until they were killing in combat and that took armies to accomplish. I’ve seen it happen. The trait can make you functionally immortal if you survive long enough to let it grow.”

Vilmar stopped talking and stood while gesturing for me to do the same. Lindi was already standing and had taken the empty bowls from Vilmar and me.

“We’re essentially wanted because we can effectively be either eternal labor or eternal fucktoys to constantly make more little semi-immortal workers and fucktoys.”

“Lindi, that’s really not something I want to talk about.”

Vilmar had raised his voice; it was the first time I had actually seen him show any sort of anger.

“I’m not going to beat around the bush on this one. That’s what they want us for. End of story. I’m just happy that we’re not in a healthy enough state to be knocked up anymore.”

“Rea, let’s go. We need to get to the midday roll call for new jobs.”

If Vilmar being angry with Lindi for her comments was supposed to be hidden he was doing a bad job at it. Everything about him bristled with annoyance and irritation, even the way that he walked off without waiting to see if I was following or to listen to anything else that Lindi may have wanted to say.

“You should go with him. He means well he’s just too protective at times.”

Lindi turned and headed off into the crowd and I was left trying to catch up to Vilmar before I lost sight of him again. Our walk to the clearing we had started the morning in was painfully silent and I was scared to ask what fucktoy or knocked up meant. If it was as bad as Vilmar was making it out to be, I wasn’t sure what would be worse, angering him by asking or learning about the words and what they implied.

The second roll call went like the first with various people being called out for not meeting a quota they hadn’t been told and then being assigned a new task. I managed to make it through this one without ending up on the post but Vilmar and I were given different jobs. Vilmar had to head into the mines and I had been told I was to help with food prep and clean up but wasn’t told where I needed to be for that.

I eventually started to make my way in the direction of the food area we had just come from. Asking a Demon for directions on where to go was probably a good way to end up on the post and I didn’t have the confidence that if I stopped someone else they would even pay attention to me. Most hadn’t.

Unlike before roll call, the area around where we got the poetan sludge was nearly deserted with the exception of a few stragglers and Demons. I didn’t know what the Demons were eating but I could smell the meat in it. There was a possibility I could get myself some of it while preparing food, but if there was any chance of being caught I wasn’t going to try my luck.

I walked behind the counter where the food was served and made my way further into the area where I smelled raw meat. No one really paid any attention to me, presumably because of my size, but there was also the chance that they just didn’t care I was there. Either way, I was eventually going to have to ask someone what I needed to do since I had no idea how to do the job I'd been given. I had been very reliant on Vilmar or Lindi to tell me what needed to be done and I was going to have to try and remove that dependency in the future.

As luck would have it, it seemed Lindi had been given the same job since I could see her chopping up more of what must have been the root we had eaten. Despite that, I was hesitant to talk to her after how Vilmar and her had acted towards each other. It was obvious that she had thought about telling me more by even bringing the topic up and the only thing that it had succeeded in doing was giving me more unanswered questions.

Be that as it may, she was also the only one that I felt comfortable asking and there was no real point to not doing so since she would notice me eventually. It was possible that she already had. Approaching her wasn’t hard but actually gathering the courage to speak was surprisingly difficult. The rate at which I was understanding why others where so complacent was starting to scare me.

“Um. Hi Lindi.”

Lindi didn’t stop what she was doing but did turn her head to look at me. It was impressive to watch her hands move as if someone else was in control of them.

“Hey Rea. Look, I’m not going to apologize for bringing up what I said but I know you’ve hated when Vilmar and I have fought in the past so I’ll drop the matter for now. I’m guessing you need help right?”

“Yeah. I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing. As for you and Vilmar, you’re right. I may not be able to put it into words but I didn’t like how either of you acted after what was said even if I don’t understand it.”

“Fair enough. Are you able to reach the counter top?”

I looked at where Lindi was cutting things and decided that there wasn’t going to be a good way for me to help her there.

“No, it’s too high for me to reach.”

“I’ll have you peel and wash then. Shouldn’t be to hard and you can help with cleaning the used bowls afterwards. Here’s a knife and there’s a bag of poetan.”

Even though the knife I had been given looked sharp I quickly found that it was dull and difficult to use. I was still able to do the job I had been given but I found that more often than not I would end up nicking myself when the knife snagged on a knot on the poetan’s surface. The two of us worked in relative silence for a while and it was relaxing to do even if it was monotonous work.

“So there’s one more thing to cover about regeneration before we move on and that’s health.”

I tried to focus my attention on Lindi but had to settle for just listening after I cut myself twice in quick succession.

“Health is weird. There’s a number for it but it’s hard to correctly frame what it means. The number itself is just how much stress or injury your body can take and there’s no real way to frame it in a context that works for everyone. You only have four health but being whipped on the post doesn’t even make you lose any. This isn’t because you’re not being hurt. It’s more because your life’s not being put in danger from what’s being done.

“It’s almost like a percent of damage you’ve taken but it’s also a sum for each body part and also you as a whole. You can see why it’s confusing.”

“So then why have it? And how do you know how much health you’ll lose from something?”

“It’s there because it shows exactly what it says; your health. And something like a knife to the gut will always deal the same percentage of health in damage, it’s just that attacks that deal smaller bits can’t show up when you have a small health value. On the flip side, if you’re like Vilmar then a knife to the gut will do less overall damage than it would to you or me. The number itself may be bigger but the damage is actually less because he’s healthier.”

“So it’s more like the more heath you have, the more accurate it is and how much damage you really take can be seen?”

“If that’s how you understand it then yes. Again, it’s super complex and people have studied it for centuries without any real way to figure out why it varies so much from person to person yet is able to remain consistent for everyone. How are you doing on that bag?”

“Not too badly. I have about half of it left.”

“That’s fine. Let me know when you run out and I’ll tell you where to get another one. So for now, lets talk magic. If you look on your status screen you’ll see a section called skills. This covers literally everything that you’ve learned, have gained through training, or naturally have access to. What do you have there?”

General Magic Poor NA Quest Horrible 25 Identify Terrible Varied Dark Magic Nonexistent NA Mana Manipulation nonexistent NA Mana Detection horrific None Blend In Bad None Poison Resistance Good None Planner Above Average None Endure Excellent None

“Where to start on this. Hmm. So the first thing is what the skill is and you should know the two under general magic since Vilmar taught them to you. They’re the only to spells you have while it should be apparent why they’re where they are. Next is your skill level or ability with that specific skill. You’re not good at quest or identify because you don’t have practice and that’s shown here. Alternatively, with dark magic you have no skill because you’ve never used it. You have the potential to do so but you haven’t yet; the mana skills fall under this as well.

“Then there are the non-magic skills. You can blend into a crowd because you do it naturally with your small size but also because you’ve been scared and are trying to avoid drawing attention to yourself. You most likely have planner from thinking too much about various things but it’s possible it’s a remnant from another time you remembered things. The last two, poison resistance and endure, I don’t want to explain if I don’t have to. Those one’s are persistent because they’re something your body has learnt to do. Life hasn’t been good here and your ability to endure pain and work through it reflects that.

“The last bit of information displayed is how much mana it costs to use the skill, plain and simple. Any questions?”

“Yes. The meat those Demons are eating, is it possible to steal some?”

Lindi stopped cutting to look at me incredulously.

“That was not the vein of questioning I was expecting but regardless, the answer is no. Could you do it? Sure. The chances of you getting away with it are slim to none though and stealing is one thing they punish very heavily. You about finished with that bag?”

I looked inside the sack to check how many poetan were left.

“Only three of them left. It’s starting to make my hands sore from doing this for so long. Reminds me of the preparation for the twin moons festivals.”

“Oh. You’ve remembered something else then?”

I scowled at the last poetan that I was peeling.

“No. Just the fact that I had to do something like this in preparation for it. I don’t remember what the festival was about or anything related to it. Everything’s like that! I know Vilmar and that he’s family but only because he said he was and because I recognized his scent! I know nothing else about him though. I have no memory of it!

“It’s like Yim! I had no clue who he was but still felt horrible when he was killed! But I don’t know why! It’s so frustrating having to take everything that’s said to me on faith or just remember little bits and pieces of things that create only more questions!”

I threw the half peeled poetan into the pile of shavings that had collected under me.

“It’s not even been a day and I’m so confused and lost that it hurts and I know it won’t get better. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that this happens to me frequently.”

Lindi had completely stopped what she was doing by this point and was now crouched next to me and rubbing my back. She let me cry in silent rage for a while before finally speaking.

“Yes. We’re used to this because you’re right, it does happen frequently. I can, however, tell you that both Vilmar and I would prefer you never remember why you lose your memory. The few times you have, you’ve been miserable or tried to escape or in the absolute worst case you've...tried to kill yourself; that's only happened once though. The past is the same way. If you remember the festivals and the dances or songs we’ll encourage that because they’re happy things. Neither of us wants you to remember the people though, because that’ll only bring you sadness and pain.

“Being a survivor isn’t easy. You blame yourself for things you had no control over to try and rationalize why others are gone. I know because I do it every day. I always think that maybe if I was a little faster or a little stronger this wouldn’t have happened, but it never brings the people who I felt I’ve failed back. Nothing can. That’s part of the reason Vilmar and I have latched onto you so much. You’re still alive because we haven’t failed you. It’s why every time you forget us we keep teaching you and protecting you the best we can.

“And for that I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you have to live like this with no memories. But I’d rather you live like this than not at all.”

The two of us sat in silence for a while with Lindi continuously rubbing my back and me crying silently. An occasional hiccup would escape me but I stifled them since I didn’t want to draw the Demon’s attention. I was showing weakness and if they saw that they’d kill me and eat my guts.

“I…I think I’m okay. For now at least.”

“Good.”

Lindi didn’t stop rubbing my back and instead stayed where she was for a while longer. When she finally stood I felt better about venting but worse from the atmosphere I had created between us. It wasn’t bad per say but it put a weight on both our shoulders because the other person now knew something we disliked about our respective situations.

We finished working quietly, not in total silence, but there was no more discussion about what was on the status screen or magic. I could tell that Lindi was thinking about what I said. To be fair I found myself doing the same thing. There was no way I could empathize with what she had said because I simply couldn’t remember anyone to then feel like I failed them. I could use Yim but it was a stretch. Seeing him die had been awful and I felt sick afterwards but was that really because I knew him or just because I was seeing someone die? Trying to imagine what I would have felt if I knew Yim on a personal level just wasn’t possible and I wasn’t able to even imagine how I would feel if Vilmar died. What scared me the most was that there was a chance I wouldn’t feel anything.

When it came time for the evening roll call I had learned a few new things. That roll call happened four times a day, and that we only got two meals; both made of boiled, mashed, and watered down poetan. Additionally, we were only allowed to bath once a week, which meant six more days covered in dust and dried blood. The blood between my legs was already annoying as it was and I wasn’t sure I would make it that long before being forced to use my own spit or the drinking water to clean it off. Water to drink was easily accessible and given if needed up to twelve times a day. It was a little murky and had a funny aftertaste even after it was boiled but it was still something to quench my thirst if I ever needed it. That last major thing I learned was that the areas to relieve ourselves were horrible in not only smell but condition.

The final roll call of the day passed without incident and it seemed I had met whatever unknown quota was required for me to avoid being on the post. I was actually starting to suspect that there was no quota and that it was just an excuse to punish those not working hard enough. There was no way to know and it was very low on my priority of questions that I wanted to know the answer for.

Vilmar looked much worse for wear than when I saw him earlier in the day. He was tired and visibly appeared much older than he had before. There was a limp that wasn’t present prior to this and his posture was slouched and showed defeat. Maybe I was just seeing what he was actually like without the act he put on to make me feel at ease. It dawned on me that I didn’t know how old either Vilmar or Lindi were, only that they were aging and had been here for a long time. The comments about regenerators being functionally immortal had me wondering if the effects of what we were doing here had ruined any chances for us to live past whatever the normal lifespan of a Deamon was. Yet another set of questions to ask in the near future if I got the chance.

If I had really wanted to I could have asked Vilmar, but I instead opted to follow him and Lindi to the last meal we would get until midday tomorrow in silence. Neither of them commented on it but I could tell they were occasionally glancing at me to make sure I was okay.

After an expectedly disappointing meal, we return to the hut that I had woken up in. I simply followed after Vilmar and Lindi and took up a spot near them once they settled down. The hut slowly filled up until there was almost no room to move, over seventy people had been crammed into a room that should only really hold about thirty. The hut’s interior was much darker than outside and with the number of people it held it quickly heated up and I found myself falling asleep with little difficulties.

I may have slept though the entirety of the night if I hadn’t woken up during the middle of it freezing. All I could see was a few red blobs surrounded by a nearly black blue and it took me a moment to realize what I was seeing and what had happened. During the night the hut had gotten much colder causing most people to group up for warmth. When this happened I had somehow made my way to the outside of a huddle and was summarily freezing to death.

Moving was a chore not only because I was tired but also because my limbs were stiff and refused to listen to me. It felt like I had no energy to do anything and if it wasn’t for my thermal vision I wasn’t sure I would know why. Something had woken me up, be in an instinct or an external factor I wasn’t sure, but my body was only a few shades off of the rest of the hut and I was grateful that this wouldn’t be the last time I slept.

Once my eyes had adjusted to the darkness, I steadily made my way to the area that I remembered Vilmar sitting before I fell asleep. When I found him I didn’t hesitate wedge myself next to him and press myself into his side as hard as I could in an attempt to warm myself up. It wasn’t until my fingers started to warm up and feel like they were on fire did I relax and let myself fall asleep again. If I survived the following day I was going to make sure I was next to Vilmar the next time we slept.

While thinking back to how I woke, I decided to give a silent prayer to both Isra and Asra. They may have failed in the past but my waking felt too unnatural to be coincidence. Maybe they had done something, maybe not, but either way it felt like the right thing to do since I didn’t feel like dying just yet.