《Field of Stars》Chapter 17 - Confrontation
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Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Miyu woke up in a familiar environment, with bright lights burning her blinking eyes and the strong smell of bleach, which made her stomach twitch and turn.
She felt a sharp sting when she tried moving her arm and then realized she had been hooked up to an IV-machine. Two little pipes—one crimson-red, the other, translucent—made their way to and from her arm and the machine.
No... I’m here again…
I don’t wanna be here!
Miyu lifted her head to see what was going on around her.
She saw her father sitting by her side, his head rested on her legs.
Ugh…
She rolled onto her side, moving her legs out from under her father’s sleeping head.
“Miyu? Are you awake, my sweet?”
Just go away!
“How are you feeling? Is there anything I can get you?” he asked.
He isn’t going anywhere until I say something…
“I’m okay; I’m just tired,” Miyu mumbled.
“You’re... really awake?!” he asked with a shaky laugh, then he let out a relieved sigh.
Miyu’s father ran his fingers through her hair. She knew that he meant it in a sweet way, but at that moment, she couldn’t decide which made her more nauseous: the sickly green and cream color scheme of the hospital walls or her father’s alcohol-scented fingers.
Then, as if he could read her mind, he stopped stroking her hair and fell back into his chair.
“I… I need to apologize to you, Miyu, my behavior has been… completely unacceptable recently.”
Miyu couldn’t believe what she heard.
Is this some kind of trick?
Or…
Is this just like last time…
He said he was sorry and he would change…
But nothing changed…
“I know that I need to change and… And I will give it my best!”
Exactly! That’s what you said last time...
“It’s just so scary when it feels like I can lose you at any moment! You have to understand that I will do anything not to lose you! You mean everything to me, Miyu! And... You’re all I have.”
Hearing the sadness in her father’s voice gave Miyu a knot in her throat, but she knew that she had to be strong this time, otherwise nothing would ever change.
“But I know...” he continued, “I know that you are growing up fast and that you are smart enough to start making your own decisions in life.”
“Papa, do you remember the last time we were here?”
“Yes, I do...”
“You promised me things would change, but when we went back home, everything remained the same.”
“I know… I just, I—”
“So, why would I believe anything you tell me now?”
“You’re right, Miyu,” he cleared his throat. “Why don’t you sit up straight, my sweet. You’re about to make a tough decision by yourself, and that’s the only way I could show you that I meant what I said.”
Curious as to what her father was about to say, Miyu carefully pulled herself up and sat on her hospital bed, looking into her father’s eyes, which were shiny and surrounded by thick red and black rings.
“Your doctor came to see me earlier... he said that your condition is getting worse, but there might be some hope.” He paused to take a deep breath and to swallow his tears. “Miyu, there’s a surgery. It’s still very much experimental, so the risks are very high. But seeing as your body hasn’t been responding to treatment… this might be the only option left. Do you know what that means, my sweet?”
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Miyu felt a freezing chill run through her body as her father’s words washed over her.
There’s a surgery… That can make me better?
But… High risk means I could…
Die?
“Y-yes… It means I might—”
“Yes,” her father interrupted her as if hearing the words come from her mouth would make it too real and too hard for him to handle.
“But, Papa, I have to… The doctor said I’m getting worse.”
“I will leave the decision to you, Miyu, but first you will have to get stronger, and that means coming home, eating healthy, taking your medicines, and getting lots of rest. After you’ve had a couple of days to think—”
“There’s nothing to think about, Papa; I need to have the surgery done!”
“I… I um…” His head dropped down, and then he nodded. “You’re right, Miyu. You’re right… I’ll go try and find your doctor, okay?” He then got up and left the room.
A drop of cold sweat formed on Miyu’s ghostly pale skin. She was scared, and thanks to her trembling hands, she was unable to hide it.
This is real, isn’t it?
I wish Kaito was here…
I wish I could tell him everything and ask him what I should do!
But he doesn’t even know that I’m sick…
Have I…
Have I been misleading him?
Forced him to form a bond with…
With someone that might…
With me…
Kaito serenading her in his own words was the most beautiful thought Miyu had in her mind and the only one that soothed her heartache and put her at ease.
Her eyelids grew heavy, and soon, Miyu drifted off to her dream world, where Kaito stood waiting for her in the middle of an entrancing forest. Trees stood tall and luscious flowers of all colors filled every nook and cranny. Hand in hand they walked down the star-lit path in front of them, and when there was no more path, they made their own. Later on, they came to a clearing. It began to rain as soon as they entered, but instead of frowning at the thought of being drenched, Kaito took her hand, smiled, and the two of them danced in the rain. Smiling, twirling, soaking wet, they skipped away the evening inside her head.
A stream of sunlight tickled Miyu’s face and her eyes fluttered open.
It took a few moments for her to become cognizant of her environment, and when she did, she realized that she was still in the hospital, so she closed her eyes and wished she wasn’t there.
“Good morning, dear,” a friendly voice walked into the room. “Here, have some breakfast; it’s gonna make you feel a lot better!”
Miyu sat up straight and used her hand to brush the hair out of her face. She saw a clean-cut young man in uniform with a friendly smile walking toward her with a tray of food.
“Oh, thank you!” she said as he placed down the tray on a movable table, which came to a halt directly in front of her.
He pulled open a stainless-steel lid to reveal a steaming-hot omelet, which made Miyu’s stomach rumble out loud. The rest of the tray was filled with a plate of sliced fruit, a bowl of soup, a cup of apple juice, and another with some green tea.
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“Excuse me. Is Doctor Eito here?”
He smiled at her. “No. Sorry dear. Is there anything you need?”
“Oh, no, not really.”
“Okay, just call me if you do! And just so you know, your father mentioned he will be coming around to see you sometime this morning,” he said and then left Miyu to enjoy her breakfast.
Miyu hadn’t realized just how hungry she was until she was left alone to stuff her mouth full of all the delicious foods in front of her.
She was sipping on her cup of apple juice when her father entered the room.
“Morning, my sweet,” he said, pulling a sling bag off his shoulder and planting a kiss on her forehead. “How was your breakfast? Did you have enough?”
The blue button-shirt he wore looked ironed, and Miyu wondered if her father had done that himself.
“Mhm, it was yummy, and I’m so full now!”
“That’s good. Here, I brought you a change of clothes. When you’re done, we can go and get you checked out so that we can go home. Maybe we’ll get some ice-cream on the way?”
“I can go home, Papa?”
“Yes. Your doctor is going to give us a call either later today or early tomorrow for the surgery schedule. Besides, your bed at home is more comfortable than this one, isn’t it?”
It sure is…
Miyu’s body already felt sore after only spending one night on the hospital bed.
“Oh, okay. Yeah, I’ll go get dressed quick.”
Miyu grabbed the bag and jumped off the bed.
She instantly felt dizzy and had to grab hold of the bed to keep herself from falling.
“Careful, Miyu!” Her father ran around and supported her with his arm around her back. “Take it slow and easy, okay?”
“I’m fine, Papa. I just got up too quick.”
After Miyu got dressed, she had to undergo a quick check-up before she was allowed to leave the hospital.
Miyu enjoyed the peaceful car ride home with a cup of vanilla ice-cream and the warm summer’s breeze, which blew through her hair while she gazed out the window.
It seemed like everyone and everything was smiling on that sunny day.
Papa is very quiet today…
I suppose he needs time to process as well…
She turned her gaze toward her father and smiled. “Thank you for the ice-cream.”
“It’s no problem, my sweet.” He gently patted her head a few times with his hand. “It’s no problem,” he sniffed.
“Papa, you’re not crying, are you?”
“No! N-no... I’m not,” he stuttered, but Miyu could see that he was trying his best to hold back his tears. “It’s just… You… Miyu, you deserve the best, and I’ve definitely not been the best father.”
“Papa...”
“No, I know, Miyu… But all that is going to change! Here we are.” Miyu just realized they had arrived at their apartment building. Her father pulled up the handbrake. “Let me help you get to bed, and then I’m going out. I’ll go buy some fresh ingredients and then make us a delicious meal this evening. Come, let’s go.”
A few minutes later, Miyu was back in her own bed, and her father yelled a goodbye from downstairs before he left the house.
Exhausted, she closed her eyes and drifted back to sleep, only to be awakened a few hours later by the enchanting voice of the boy next door.
Am I dreaming?
No… I don’t think I am…
She recognized the song he had been singing. She remembered hearing her mother sing the same song a long time ago—when things were happier and simpler.
Is he practicing for the musical?
Miyu climbed out of bed so that she could sit close to the wall and listen to Kaito sing. She decided it was best to take her blanket along so that she could be as comfortable as possible. But what she didn’t bargain on was her blanket being bulky, so she ended up knocking everything off of her nightstand.
BAM. CRASH. Ting. Clang. Ba-tsshh.
Silence.
Oops…
“Miyu?”
“Oh! Hi, Kaito!”
“Are you okay? It sounded like—”
“Ah, I’m perfectly fine, thanks!” Miyu answered, standing frozen in the middle of her bedroom in an awkward pose, holding an oversized blanket.
“Ah, okay...”
“So sorry I interrupted you practicing!”
“It’s okay. I was done for today anyway. Have a nice—”
“Kaito, wait!” she called out.
“Hmm?”
“We need to talk...”
“I guess...”
Miyu dropped her blanket and took a seat on the floor, leaning against the cold bedroom wall.
“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything after—”
“Miyu, stop. You have nothing to apologize for!”
I thought he’d be mad at me…
“But… You wrote a song for me and everything...”
“Exactly! I obviously don’t know how to deal with my emotions, so I ended up forcing stuff on you...”
But that’s not true…
“...and you never even gave me an indication that you liked me in that way!”
“Kaito, stop...”
“No! I need to be apologizing to you! I’m sorry for being a naive little boy—”
“Kaito! Just listen to me!”
Miyu tried raising her voice, but she just couldn’t muster enough energy for anything more than a loud whisper.
“Kaito, I’ve been sick… And it’s serious. On the day you sang that song to me, I—”
“Miyu, really… You don’t have to make things up to make me feel better! You deserve so much better! You’re an amazing person and friend, but that’s not what I need right now—”
“Kaito, please!”
“I have to go, Miyu… Thanks for trying to make me feel better.”
No… Please…
Miyu heard his door slam shut and her eyes welled up. She swallowed hard, trying her best not to start crying, but when she saw her father standing by her bedroom door, she couldn’t keep her emotions back any longer.
He quickly made his way toward her and hugged her as tight as he could. “He was right about one thing, my sweet. You deserve so much better...”
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