I sat in the back seat of the black jaguar owned by Norma's date. The atmosphere heavy. Between Norma who realized what bridges she had burned and the CEO who had all but given up any hope to score tonight, I might have been the cheerful one in the car.

At the police station, they had asked me a few questions. Like what I was doing there. When I had answered with the truth, they understood but asked why I went against the restraining order. I answered with the truth to that one as well. Saying I gave off no sign of hurting anyone and that I had forgotten the restraining order as the whole incident took place three years ago. After the police officers went out for a while they came back with the news that Beverley Oakley had neglected to mention multiple facts. Including that the restraining order had expired two months ago, and that their data was not up to date. How, in the age of automation, their data could not have been up to date was a riddle all by itself. They apologized, and I stood outside before I realized what had happened.

When I walked back in to ask if I could file charges for harassment against Beverley the troll, they said yes. So I stood outside again half an hour later with a smile on my face. The smile waned a little when I saw the little thunderclouds above Norma's beautiful head. Now, sitting in the car, the smile had disappeared completely.

I was staring out of the window. Grey clouds caused tiny water drops to fall out of the sky. The drops fell on the window, streaking passed. It wasn't too bad. But a perfect reflection of the mood inside the electric luxury car. I wiggled my legs a little. I had a lot of room to spare, repositioning my butt in the comfortable, heated, leather seats. We drove through the streets, some brave souls weathering the rain and wind to get some necessities or to meet friends. It wasn't dark yet, but it felt that way. Street lamps burning. Car headlights shining past. I thought about what to do now. It was official that I had nothing left. Maybe Norma, but she would call about once a year, telling me everything was fine before hanging up. Just like she had done in the past. Maybe I should think about digitizing. Follow the horde. They defeated me. Maybe it was time to join them.

It took a while, but I was almost home. The rain had stopped, but the wind had picked up. I was still looking out of the window as I saw a store that caught my eye. A store for digitizing oneself. It was funny how everything was now online, but there was no other beginning then offline. Or at least I had always found it funny. It made sense though. Chicken and egg all over again if it was not offline. The store passed by. My mind feeling a hint of disappoint. Weird. Digitizing was the enemy. Why did I feel the need to buy myself a digitize helmet? I should snob it with all my heart. It had made my best friend obsolete.

But now I was obsolete too. Maybe I could once again join it in a new realm. Little Rey had said something about a game. Something I might excel at again, find my passion. What was I supposed to do anyway? These days they even digitized porn. If I wanted a good wank I had to put an old DVD in. Those things broke down after fifty years of use. I could dream most by now. I decided. the only uncertain part now was what I would use it for, games or porn. Just like the old days of the internet. I missed those days. The internet too. But like so much else, there were just too many dickheads. Once your refrigerator got hacked, and it took over your smart house, the fun wore off fast. Digitize was the next stage, and it stuck. I didn't know how it worked but I guess I would find out soon. Or not, never knew how the internet worked either.

I leaned forward in the leather seat. My belly being in the way for variety’ sake. I cleared my throat and said "So uh, you can drop me off here. I need to do grocery shopping. Low on bread." Why didn't I tell them I wanted to go buy a digitize helmet? Well, let's say I might have said I rather eat my own dirty underwear for a week. With the mood Norma was in I think she might hold me to it.

Norma looked suspicious. She knew me too well for reasons I did not hope to understand. Edmund the CEO just shrugged and steered his hundred-thousand-dollar car to the side of the road.

"Thanks for the ride guys. I love you kid. Hope I didn't cause you too much trouble." I said as I pressed my hand on her cold cheek with the back of my hand. A wry smile on my face. I meant it. It was worse enough the bitch wanted my head. But If I was ever sure of one thing, then I was sure Norma just made the top of her list.

She sighed, releasing the tension that had built up in her body. "It's fine dad. You did nothing wrong. Even counting the times you deserved it, you did nothing to deserve this much shit. I just fear I only made it worse for you, and even more so for little Rey. Look after yourself, all right? I will call you soon." She got out of the car and helped me out. We hugged, she gave me a kiss on the cheek and a sad smile. Then she drove off with her victim.

The wind blew passed my legs and into my coat. It was cold. A chill ran through my body but I shook it off and walked into the general direction of the store. I might have taken a little too long to decide. But it was still a half-hour walk home from where I stood so I had to reach a reasonable level of certainty while there was still a luxury car driving me around.

If I was honest with myself I was still not sure if this was a good idea. How was it possible for a game to be the same as the real thing? The smell of grass. The smell of sweat. The weather. The crowd. The feeling of leather as you held on to the ball. The pained expressions when you told your team they would not get dinner if they didn't finish their run. The spittle that stuck to their faces when you yelled at them that they sucked balls. That you rather had them join your daughters' alley antics than have them in your team fucking it all up. That you would castrate each one of the donkey assholes who dared to even look at your daughter the wrong way. How could any of it be real in a fake world?

It filled me with doubts as I struggled against the cold wind. Each step taking me closer to the answer.