Kalie Rana

Four days.

That was how long I was in this body before I was truly convinced that I was not going to be waking up from this dream. Or was it a nightmare?

“Kalie!” The moment I heard the tiny shrill voice, I ducked beneath my covers. “Kaaaaallliiiiieeeeee!” Every day since I had woken up in this tiny body, this visit had become something that I was absolutely unable to avoid. The stomping of her feet was audible beneath the thick wooden door that separated this bedroom from the rest of the house. It was also the furthest that I had ever ventured since waking up. “Are you awaaaaakee?” Ashreal didn’t even wait for my response before she slammed the door open. If I had been the sick eight year old that this girl thought I was, there would be no way that this little routine wouldn’t have been more scarring than something she looked forward to. And yet, she continued on.

“Hi.” My greeting, as well as all my other words, like every other action I had taken up until this point, were slow and deliberate. I was weak inside and out from whatever illness had hamstrung this body before my arrival. That, coupled with the fact that I was definitely not the little girl they thought I was, made my abundance of caution an absolute requirement.

“How do you feel today?” Despite not showing an ounce of caution when arriving, I appreciated that Ashreal hesitated to do anything more. The girl, probably no older than twelve years old, stood cautiously at the end of my bed. Slender and fit, it was obvious to me that whatever physicality this body lacked was not an issue that ran in the family.

“I’m alright.” It felt weird to meet Ashreal’s cute smile with the hesitation that I had, but there was no other way that I knew to act.

“Really? That’s great! Did Grandmother come again?”

“She hasn’t no.”

“Is she coming later today?”

“She might be.”

“Really! That’s great!” I couldn’t help but think that the girl’s excitement lay more so in the fact that she had the opportunity to see her own grandmother rather than her visiting me.

“Are you sure you’re alright? You seem… like, a little—”

“I’m just tired still. This illness has hit me hard.” I knew where she was going with that line of questioning, and there was no way that I would be able to give a truthful answer that would make any sense to her.

“Well, I guess that makes sense.” Ashreal’s eyes dropped to the floor beneath her, before she spoke again. “Did she say anything about your core?”

“My core?” The question was enough to cause Ashreal’s eyes to widen.

So, I take it, I wasn’t supposed to hear about that, just yet.

“Oh, it’s nothing then.”

“Ashreal, what do you mean, ‘my core’?” My question alone was enough to make the strong willed girl squirm in place.

I almost felt a little bad for her. While she may have been the older sister of this body, she was only half my age. I knew that my prying was probably going to get her in trouble, but I needed to know what she was talking about. The things that I had been presented with since arriving here weren’t exactly exceptional. Actually, things have been pretty bad quality wise. The porridge was bland and tasteless, and the room was mostly cold, only warmed by a small fireplace on the other end of the room. But the one thing that this place had on my old life was whatever “Grandmother” did to me when I first arrived. If it was medicine, then it was the fastest acting, and strongest stuff that I had ever been given, and considering the oceans of opioids that I had been prescribed before my death, there was almost no way that it was a normal drug.

If it wasn’t some wonder drug, then it had to be the singing, didn’t it?

“I don’t know Kalie, I don’t think I can talk about it.”

“Talk about what? Nobody has told me anything! I’ve been cramped up in this place for days! Please, Ashreal?” Her eyes didn’t rise to meet mine but that wasn’t a surprise.

Guess it’s time to break out the big guns.

“Please… Sis?” My attack had exactly the effect that I had hoped it would, finally breaking Ashreal’s resolve. The girl looked at me before scrunching her entire face up. A moment later, she crossed around to the side of my bed to take a seat right beside me. The unintended jostle was almost enough to start another wave of pain, but I managed to right myself before it could take complete hold.

“Okay. But don’t you dare mention this to anyone.”

“Of course.”

“Anyone Kalie. If they find out that I told you I could get in big trouble. Cleaning the entire house trouble.”

“Okay, okay! I get it.” The way that she leaned in so closely to me told me that whatever it was that I was about to hear was something that I really wasn’t supposed to. That didn’t stop me from listening however, and by the end of it, I was glad that I had.

There was no way that I could be sure that every answer the girl gave me was in any way close to correct, but if even most of it was true, my understanding of everything was about to be thrown on its head. She explained to me that the illness that I was afflicted with wasn’t something simple that any child could get. It was an incredibly rare phenomenon known as Mana sickness. It was something that happened very rarely to children around the time of puberty, and more commonly to adults who were on the receiving end of a particularly vicious spirit’s ire. This explanation of course was not particularly helpful to me as most if not all of it sounded completely made up.

“No, I’m not joking! This is what Joanna told me! Like a jar filled over the brim with mana, spilling it all over the floor. I’m pretty sure you’re too young for your awakening though, so it makes sense that a spirit is at fault.” Joanna was our oldest sister. A girl only two years older than Ashreal, the two of them were quite close, and despite being the middle child, Ashreal looked up to the mostly absent Joanna.

“What’s a spirit anyway?”

“What’s a spirit? What, has your fever made you forget all of Grandmother’s lessons?”

“I’m sick.”

“Still!”

“Just tell me, please.”

Ashreal’s explanation about Spirits was even more unintelligible than her attempted explanation about what was wrong with me. Other than getting the impression that they were some sort of invisible animal of some kind, I couldn’t understand anything else that she mentioned. Of course, there was a logical explanation for that, and it was that she had no clue what she was talking about. The whole nonsense about spirits was the complete fabrication of either a little girl, or a backwards culture. If I was going to believe that this all wasn’t a dream, the only other explanation was that I had suddenly found myself in the body of a girl in some sort of medieval-esque times. That would explain the simple sort of dress that both I and Ashreal were in, as well as the furniture.

In my previous life, I was in no way an authority on history as far as things like furniture and clothing were concerned, but it was fairly easy to see once I was convinced of it. That meant however that I was still sick with something and I had been treated by this body’s Grandmother, somehow.

Maybe magic isn’t completely out of the question, now is it? You’ve woken up in someone else’s body, I don’t know if magic is particularly that far out the window.

While the questions of Magic and spirits were still very much in the air, I knew there wasn’t much else I’d be able to get out of Ashreal at the moment. The girl looked like she was somewhere between uncomfortable and incredulous, and I wasn’t exactly looking to have her take a closer look at her “sister”.

“Well… I think it might be time for me to go back to sleep. I’m feeling very tired all of the sudden.” With a big fake yawn to punctuate, what I thought would be a simple end to our conversation stirred another reaction entirely.

“You are? Are you okay? Do I need to call Grandmother?” Ashreal was dangerously close to me, enough to cause me to recoil at the idea of her accidentally touching me. In the last four days, I hadn’t yet fully understood what it was that would cause another attack, but the threats from the pit of my chest kept me in check.

“No! No, I’m alright. I just need to sleep,” I said, righting myself. Realizing her mistake Ashreal leaned backward. It was odd though, because as she did so, it was almost like she had done it twice. The first time was when I watched her do it, but I could just barely perceive the action happening again. It felt like something was almost tugging at the fine hairs of my forearm. But, just as soon as it came, the feeling vanished.

“Oh, okay. As long as you’re alright.”

“I’m just tired.”

“Alright. I guess I’ll leave you for now. Call for me if you need anything.”

“I will.” But, judging by the echoing sound of each of her footsteps once she closed the door behind her, I knew there was almost no way she would’ve been able to hear me had I called for her. Instead, the maid that arrived mere moments after she departed would’ve been the first had I needed anything.

“How are you feeling M’lady?”

M’lady. Just another thing that I needed to get used to.

The idea of someone calling me of all people M’lady was comical. Made even more hilarious due to the fact that it was me and not whoever this little Kalie was.

“I’m fine, thank you.”

“Are you hungry?”

“I’m not. Thank you.”

“I’m sorry M’lady. If you need anything just ask.” And just like that, the woman scurried out of the room.

Great. Been here less than a week and I’ve already managed to come off like a brat.

More so than the pain, and more so than anything else, the hardest part of the whole experience so far was figuring out exactly what kind of girl this Kalie Rana was. I, the ghost, or the soul, or maybe just the memories of some woman from another time and place had stolen the life that she was living from her. She was eight years old, living a life all her own. Hell, she had an entire lifetime ahead of her. But now, she was gone, and in her place, all that was left, was me.

I need to make that sacrifice one that’s worthwhile. Pay her back for what I’ve done. Live a good enough life to make up for the life that I stole. That’s what I need to do.