A month into training, Standig had come to expect that Huo Lohse would find ways to disrupt his solitude. She always found him when it was time for sparring practice, so he now kind of assumed that they were permanent partners. He was no longer able to eat his meals alone as she always sat next to him if he got there early, bringing the rest of the first and second years with her, and she always saved the seat next to her for him and aggressively waved him down if he got there late. On the day the class seating chart was arranged, Huo Lohse made sure to claim the desk next to his, and after classes, she always invited him to join her on whatever adventure she had planned for that day. Standig almost always managed to make excuses to decline those invitations, but, every once in a while, Huo Lohse would then invite herself to join him in whatever phony activity he had used as an excuse. That's how he'd found himself swimming in the lake, meditating, practicing the flute, and even airing out his bedding with her. It was really, really annoying.

But the day she didn't show up for class, Standig had a hard time concentrating. It didn't help that, after failing to get answers from her brothers, some of the older students, people that had never thought to speak to him before, resorted to asking him about where she was and why she wasn't in class. The last straw was when one of her own brothers turned to him during their lunch break in the courtyard.

"She didn't say anything to you yesterday, did she?" Haowan asked.

"Why do you all think I would know where she is?!" Standig shot back with unnecessary force.

Having sat with them out of habit, a habit Lolo had started by the way, the first and second years just stared back at him, surprised by the outburst. They had never seen him so flustered, or seen much of any emotion from him besides his baseline annoyance, for that matter. Standig stood up abruptly, to what end, even he didn't know, but he needed to move.

He found himself unconsciously walking back to his room, and then he realized that to get there, he would have to pass Lolo's room. "Fine," he thought, "if they all think I should know where she is, I'll stop by and see if she's there." He found himself at her door alarmingly quickly. He hadn't even prepared an excuse for why he was there yet. No matter. Lolo always invented her own reasons for his actions anyway.

He knocked. Someone shifted on the bed inside, but there was no answer. He knocked again, a little louder, and heard a groan followed by, "come in."

Following instructions, he let himself in, closing the door quietly behind him. The room was dark except for the light filtering through the curtains at the windows, but he could tell that in full light, the room would be warm and pleasant, though perhaps a bit disorganized. He looked around for the source of the voice and found it curled up in the fetal position on a bed in the back corner.

"Did you bring it?" she asked, eyes shut tight.

Not sure how to respond, Standig opted to pull her blankets up over her shoulders instead.

"Thank you." She burrowed deeper into the warmth.

He moved as if to leave, but her hand was quicker. Snagging his sleeve, she pleaded, "wait! Sit and talk to me? I could use the distraction."

He looked down at her, realizing uncomfortably how vulnerable she was. She looked almost like a little child curled up and asking for a bedtime story. Despite himself, he ended up sitting down on the edge of her bed. Her hand found his, and drew it towards her face as if seeking comfort from it. Standig froze.

After a few moments of silence, she said, "aren't you going to say anything?"

Standig was struck by the awkwardness of the situation. With her eyes closed, she had no idea that it was him sitting there and probably thought he was an attending maid or something. After a moment's thought, he decided that he wasn't particularly eager to let her find out that it was actually him. His voice would be an obvious giveaway, but she had him trapped. He withdrew his hand from hers as gently as he could and patted her head. "She wants a distraction?" He thought, "I'll give her one.”

"That feels nice," she said before burying her face into her blanket. Standig clumsily played with her hair until just a few minutes later, her body appeared to relax and her breathing became deeper and more regular. When Standig stood up, she remained quiet and motionless, so he took his leave.

As he walked out, a maid was approaching the door carrying a bladder of hot water. She looked startled to see him but wasn't nearly as startled as he was to be caught. A moment passed while the two stared at each other. Remembering herself, the maid curtsied, and Standig nodded a quick acknowledgement before leaving as quickly as he could without looking like he was in a hurry.

Once out of visual range, Standig found a section of wall to lean against and calm down. "No harm done. She didn't know it was me, and only a maid saw me leave." He exhaled sharply through pursed lips, and his mind moved to other matters. "What's wrong with Lolo?" She was obviously not feeling well, but she didn't have a fever or seem to be sick. As far as he knew, she wasn't injured either, and she wasn't the type to end up in bed over something trivial. He puzzled all the way to class and while shuffling to his seat.

"Standig Tragen!" The wolf elder’s voice shook him out of his thoughts.

Standig glanced up. Everyone was looking at him. How long had he been gone? "Sir?"

"You are fifteen minutes late. Explain yourself!" the old scholar demanded.

"I- uh…." How was he supposed to explain where he had been and what he'd been doing?

"Speak up!"

All eyes were on him as he struggled to find a satisfactory explanation to appease the elder. "I- uh, I went on a walk to clear my head. I- uh, I'm sorry, sir. I must have lost track of time."

The elder frowned at him, but decided not to pursue the matter further. "Well, don't make a habit of it. Sit." He returned to his lesson.

Relieved to be off the hook, Standig sat, cheeks flushed from embarrassment. He could still feel his classmates glancing at him periodically, but Standig pretended to be very engrossed in his note-taking, doing his best to ignore them.

After class, Standig got up and left in a hurry, but he was intercepted by Philige. Instead of stopping to talk and risk further interception, Standig grabbed his brother's arm and pulled him briskly outside. The two didn't stop until they had made it back to their room.

"Alright, spill! What's going on with you today? Where did you go at lunch time?"

Not in the habit of lying to his brother and knowing that Philige would be able to call him out if he tried, Standig struggled to find the words to explain himself. "Well, I got frustrated and went on a walk."

"Why were you frustrated?"

"Haowan asked me about Lolo-- why she was absent today. Lots of people did."

"Why did that make you frustrated?"

"I'm not sure," Standig confessed.

“Well, do you know why she wasn’t in class today?”

Standig looked at the floor.

“Fine.” Philige sighed. “Then where did you go during lunch?”

“Just on a walk.” Standig’s cheeks flushed again.

“And where did that walk take you?”

Philige had him. Standig looked up at his brother momentarily but couldn’t sustain his gaze. “I started walking back here, but, as I was passing Lolo’s room, I….” He trailed off. Finding nothing interesting to stare at on the floor, Standig turned to stare out the window.

“You what?” Talking to Standig was like peeling an orange. You had to pull slowly and steadily to keep the peel from breaking off before the fruit inside was exposed.

Standig took a deep breath. “I figured I would just check to see if she was there.”

“And was she?” Philige sounded almost amused-- amused enough to capture another uncomfortable glance from his little brother.

Deciding that a certain leaf on the windowsill was satisfactorily interesting, Standig returned his gaze to the window. “Yes.”

“And…?” This was getting good.

“She wasn’t feeling well,” Standig tried to say with as much finality as he could muster, but Philige knew him too well.

“So what happened?”

Standig shifted his weight uncomfortably. “I went in, and,” the words started to tumble out, “she wasn’t feeling well. She must have thought I was someone else. She kept her eyes closed the whole time. She wanted me to sit and talk to her, so I sat with her for a bit….” His voice caught. Philige was staring at him with his mouth agape.

“And…?”

Standig scowled at his brother. “And nothing. She fell asleep, and I left.” It was a half truth, but Philige had already gotten more out of him than he would have liked.

Philige stared at Standig trying to decide what to say next. “So, you sat with her.” Standig’s scowl grew darker; he was on the right track. “Why didn’t you just leave?” The scowl changed to an expression of bewilderment.

“I-,” he began, “I don’t know.” It was the truth.

“Maybe you wanted to stay?” Philige suggested.

Standig didn’t answer. His expression had returned to an unreadable one as his mind started racing. Philige knew he would not get anything more out of his brother, so he changed the subject, but Standig was no longer listening. “Maybe you wanted to stay.” The words bounced around his skull on repeat, struggling for reconciliation. Had he wanted to stay? Why? This was new territory, and Standig had no answers.

“Philige,” Standig interrupted whatever it was that Philige was saying. Surprised, Philige stopped talking about the day’s lesson and cocked his head. Standig, still struggling to understand let alone communicate his thoughts, started spluttering. “Well, you said... well, you suggested… um… what I mean is… staying.” He finished lamely. Philige fixed his brother with a puzzled look, and Standig tried again. “Why would I do that?”

“You mean, you are wondering why you would want to stay with Lolo instead of just leaving?”

Standig nodded, suddenly grateful that his brother knew him so well.

Philige couldn’t suppress his entertained smile. “Well, most likely you would want to stay because you care about her.”

"Care about her?"

Philige continued, “you know, if you did care about her, that would be appropriate. You are friends after all.”

“Friends?” Standig Tragen didn’t have any friends.

“Of course you are!” Philige snorted. “You spend loads of time together. You are sparring partners, sit next to each other in class, eat all your meals together. You even occasionally spend time together outside of class!”

“That’s… true….”

“So then why do you still seem confused? Don’t you think that makes you friends?”

“I…” Standig paused. “I hadn’t really thought about it like that.”

Philige laughed. “Well, believe it, Standig. You and Lolo are friends. In fact, by my reckoning, she has made sure that you are friends with all the other first and second years too.”

Standig suddenly found it necessary to sit down. “I have friends?”

***

"Lolo! You're back! Where were you yesterday?" It was Ulana that spotted Huo Lohse first as she walked in, running late for breakfast.

"Hey guys!" Lolo smiled at her friends.

"Hey! But seriously, why weren't you in class yesterday? We were worried about you." Haowan frowned at her. He didn't like worrying about his sister.

Lolo was piling food onto her plate. "I'm sorry to worry you. Did I miss anything important in class?"

Standig avoided eye contact with Lolo, and Fortus started to summarize the previous day's lessons to her.

"Wait, wait, wait," Zhongyan cut Fortus off. "Lolo, why are you avoiding the question?"

Lolo, who was shoveling food into her mouth, looked up at her brother and froze. She then put her fork down, chewed and swallowed, washing her mouthful down with a swig of water before protesting, "I'm not avoiding anything. I'm listening to Fortus catch me up!"

"Yes, you are avoiding something," Zhongyan dug in his heels. "Where were you yesterday? Why weren't you in class?"

Standig looked up in time to see Huo Lohse blush a little.

"I had a private matter to deal with." She looked down at her food and resumed eating while the group stared at her.

"Care to explain?" Haowan prodded.

"Not really." She gave Haowan a cold look. "Fortus, you were telling me what I missed?"

Hesitantly, Fortus resumed catching her up, but no one was listening. It wasn't like Lolo to keep secrets, and everyone was curious what sorts of "private matters" she had.

Standig felt like an imposter trying to hold up the image that he too had no idea where Lolo had been yesterday. "A private matter that kept her in bed not feeling well all day.... Oh!" Standig blushed deeply. Fortunately, no one noticed. He didn't have any experience whatsoever with these sorts of things, but he once overheard some girls at the trading post whispering about the unpleasantness of womanhood.

Fortus finished his catch-up, exposing Lolo to an immediate bombardment.

"You really won't tell us?"

"Since when did you start keeping secrets?"

"Come on! We're all dying to know."

Lolo's face grew a darker shade of pink with each remark. Standig stood up forcefully, knocking the bench he was sitting on and everyone else on it backwards slightly. Everyone went silent and turned to look at him.

"If-if she doesn't want to tell us, we should leave her be. Besides, it's time for sparring practice."

Standig's speech silenced the group, and the relief spread across Lolo's face as she mouthed "thank you" to him. Standig gave her a half-smile and a nod as their friends grumbled to each other, lifting their legs over the benches to head out. As the group walked down the hill to the courtyard, Standig and Lolo took up the rear, each smiling to themselves, happy to (finally) be friends.