《Abominable Standards》Author's Note - An apology for my extended silence.

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Hey everyone.

First, let me start off by saying that I'm terribly sorry for not posting this sooner. I really wish I had a good reason for keeping you in the dark, but the truth is that I've purposefully avoided doing so, mostly out of cowardice.

Also, time flew, and I didn't notice that I had ended up gathering a slightly larger audience, so again, let me apologize to those of you that ended up being cock-blocked by the (much hated) HIATUS tag.

That said, I think I owe you at least some modicum of an explanation for my absence, so here goes:

1. My poor ability to deal with negative feedback

I've come to realize that I'm terrible at dealing with negative comments online. Sometimes just reading them fills me with anxiety. This came as a surprise, since I'm fairly good at dealing with negative events in my day-to-day life. But the fact remains that I'm apparently way more impacted by what strangers tell me online than by what the people I know could ever say.

Please note that I'm not fishing for compliments, nor do I need comfort on that front. I am actually doing quite well in my personal life.

2. I fell out of love with my own story

I know this happens to many authors/artists out there, but I didn't think it would happen to me (especially so soon after starting). Yet here it is. I've now—sadly—stopped enjoying my own story.

My initial plan was to take Alex and Alison quite far in a world that I had been crafting for years. I even imagined several story arcs and a wide array of characters (that never got to see the light of day). While writing the build up to that, though, I messed up. Badly. Basically, I tried to force myself to make Alex's character growth more dramatic by having worse and worse things happen to him, which slowly turned a gritty, yet quirky story, into a mere parody of what it was supposed to be.

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In short, I've grown tired of the murder-hobo habits that my characters resort to in most situations, as well as Alex's mental issues taking up most of the chapters. In my mind, it was necessary to keep some of the gravitas in the story, but I've now come to the realization that it makes it deviate too much from what I initially had in mind.

Now that I reflect on what I've written, I see so many flaws, so many inconsistencies and loose threads that it feels like watching a cringy memory on loop in my mind, and that makes me want to just forget about it. I just can't keep writing a story I don't like anymore.

3. I quit my job

Yep, that's probably the main culprit here. I won't delve into what I do in my personal life, but basically, I've been resenting my job for almost two years. It slowly got worse, up until the point where it started affecting my personal life. So I quit.

At the time, I didn't have a way to cope with it, and trying to write while taking all that into account seemed like too much of a chore. In the end, I chose to preserve my own sanity and just put that hobby on hold.

In conclusion, I don't really know whether I'll pick that story back up again or not. But on the bright side, I'm slowly warming up to the idea of writing again. Maybe something else. For now, though, I'm extending my hiatus until I come to an actual decision.

Again, apologies for those of you I leave disappointed. I'll update this post if I change my mind.

Cheers,

Penicillin Namesake

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