emotionally.

"im out of it today"

"sometimes im- sometimes i want to"

it's not consistent,

easily angered,

easily ignored,

and,

easily unwanted.

turn your backs on them

they turned their backs on you

"reap what you've sown"

backwards logic in delay

"It’s rippling beneath the surface."

"It wants to escape."

"How cute!"

tired, tired again

put your head in your arms

but you can't be bothered to take off your mask

nothing's changing

everything is moving

slowly, slowly now, you aren't the right person today

"i think im getting sick of it"

back, back again, turn around, rewind

"Why are you so angry?"

“Why aren't you listening to me?"

"Don’t you care about me?

well,

"do you?"

loyalty is nothing to me, save for one

loyalty is nothing to you, save for one

one last chance. one more chance.

fucked up, last mistake.

try again, but who cares now?

"i think im getting the hang of it"

toss and turn, push and pull

beneath the facade, truth lies in wait

on again, off again, it keeps repeating

cycled back into your dreams

"when are we leaving?"

"where are you going?"

"dont forget about me!"

have you figured it out yet? have you?

haven't you played this game long enough

look at that, no, look at that

the maggots under your porcelain face are running away now,

god, what a filthy mess.

come on now, i want to know the truth.

it's just

you and me

here. i'll cut a deal with you.

no, i don't think so. i want answers.

i need answers.

so i don't care if it hurts, tell me the truth.

tell me, what happened to you?

what's with all the mess?

are you just a dirty person?

clean up every once in a while.

i said, i need answers, not lies.

you're not speaking correctly.

tell me what i want to hear.

the truth, now.

from the top, though we don't have all day.

so hurry up. take off that stupid face,

give me the correct one.

(March 2022)