so it meant nothing ultimately

he, he died for nothing

i died for nothing

"wasn't nothing we had a reason to be angry, gave us strength, it wasn't nothing"

was nothing

nothing nothing nothing but a goddamn

what in the goddamn--goddamn world

damn damnit

over now over now

no no no no

it isnt over

its never over

over

"can you hear me?"

"yes of course"

over

"did you hear about the prince who died last week?"

over, over

"of course i heard he, i heard she-"

she she she

"it was her fault he's dead of course"

"dead of course her fault, that they're dead of course"

of course, over

lose

i lost

i lost, we lost

she, she and him

we're dead now

nerves of steel in a

nerve to doubt

nerve, lack of nerves

of men of steel, steel of men

"the men of steel"

steely blue eyes pressed against irradiated glass

glows like nothing a goddamn, goddamn nothing

screaming out for you to just run and run and

"of course, of course, it's her fault we're dead"

cruel, desert, and his eyes

my eyes

see no more, too fast

too fast, loved him like that

yes just like that

"don't fucking move, it will hurt a hell of a lot less if you don't"

"well aren't you kind?"

over.

but it's really never over, is it?

it's really never over-

(November 2021)