if you could remember, that day in november, when i held you in my arms

and we were lovers

would you recall that in december, i once again knew no one and nothing

and no love was truly shared between us

to live and die to live again is anything but happiness

it is a darkened tale of wretched survival

As all things are, as all things will be.

for nothing was ever between us

i never once knew you, you never once knew me

our paths met like two cars at a crossroads

opposing directions, and we knew nothing but each other’s existence briefly

would that be enough for you

to think and remember that I never held you

that it was all a fabrication of my own

to painfully know that in december i was alone once more

As it always was, as it always will be.

i do not know your face, your eyes

i know you exist and are out there, wandering

perhaps it was someone else’s memory,

to make me believe that i knew you

isn’t it funny?

someone else did love you, once

someone else did hold you, once

maybe not in november

i wonder where they are now

Perhaps they are watching you from afar, or

they met you in a hopelessly black night,

at a crossroads with nothing to lose and

everything to give.

(December 2020)