You shouldn't let it affect you so much

What am I supposed to do?

Just don't worry about it!

Hurts like hell repressing it but it gets worse the more I think about

Just let me fucking cry, let me obsess about it all I fucking want

I'll stop eventually

No you won't I just keep digging my own grave

But what the fuck am I supposed to do?

Gnawing like teeth against sand

Going deeper and deeper and slowly suffocating

Slowly taking more and more and it just gets worse and worse

I just want to be able to breathe

Or do I want to scream? Just fucking take my bottle and smash it into my own head?

It doesn't even matter to me anymore and still chewing on those grains, coughing and hacking

I'm so desperate for air

I can't fucking breathe

(May 2020)