Darryl hadn’t even gotten the chance to throw himself in front of Ben when the woolf pounced, it was simply too fast. Which was probably for the best, considering the way it turned the grandfather clock into kindling as collateral of its landing. Ben managed to dodge out of the way by a hair’s length, tumbling and falling down gracelessly to avoid certain death, but was now prone while the woolf immediately hopped back onto its feet with energetic glee.

Darryl threw his spear, and for once it went where he wanted it to go. The spear split in two and both barely pierced through the woolf’s woolly coat to score shallow wounds. The spear fell out of the wound a moment later, while the other spear disintegrated.

An achievement popped up in his peripheral to notify Darryl that he managed to deal damage to a Borough Boss, which was good because he hadn’t even seen its health bar flicker. The woolf noticed the attack though, because it turned around and snarled at Darryl.

Good. That was the plan. Ben was already scrambling back to his feet and wouldn’t be struck down now, and Darryl raised his shield while preparing to dodge if at all possible. The spear returned to his hand and he quickly put it into his inventory.

That was when Thomas bolted for the door. “1C! Retreat!”

Ben scuttled back on his feet and ran for the door as well, while Darryl stared down the woolf for another second before slowly inching to the door himself.

The woolf snarled again and slowly bend its knees to pounce, but the growl turned in an agitated yelp when a magic missile struck it on the nose. It turned its gaze to the door, where it was blinded by a sudden flash.

Thomas didn’t stick around to see if it worked, he and Ben were already running down the hallway beyond the boss room by the time Darryl blinked away the blindness from indirect exposure. Thank goodness he hadn’t directly looked at the light.

Darryl didn’t wait to see how long the woolf would be blinded nor did he capitalise on the diversion, and instead abandoned defence to make a run for it himself. The woolf snarled and turned in Darryl’s general direction despite having its eyes closed. Damn, it was very proficient in using its other senses too, it seemed.

Darryl ran regardless, and heard it howl eagerly behind him as he did. The Big Bad Woolf clearly didn’t mind the chase. It ran across the boss room in two great steps before having to slow down to crouch through the for-its-massive-frame’s small door, granting Darryl but the slightest of a head start.

Thomas: Here, use this!

An item was traded into his inventory, and Darryl quickly pulled it out. He awkwardly hopped onto the bicycle and began to pedal as hard as he could.

Darryl: ?

Thomas: I was riding it when the world collapsed, ofc I took it with me into the dungeon.

Darryl: ? plan ?

Thomas: Oh, sorry.

Thomas: Go left.

Ben: RIGHT!!!

Ben: WE WENT RIGHT!!

Darryl pedalled harder, hearing the woolf’s heavy footsteps behind him. The bicycle allowed him to match the woolf’s speed, but it was still slowly gaining on him and it could probably outlast Darryl’s breakneck speed if this went on for more than a few minutes.

Thomas: Left. Find safe room. Wait.

Ben: THOMAS TRAITOR!!

Thomas: Darryl shouldn’t come the same way as us, allows us to come to him to lure away the woolf if it camps outside safe room. Also we only have one bike.

Thomas: We go to Llamas, tell them of defeat N boss. Hopefully B boss follows us there and is weakened by llamas, or llamas exploring draws B Boss back. If not, new plan after opening boxes.

Darryl nodded in real life and took the first turn left, wheels almost giving away underneath him as he tried to take the turn as fast as he could.

Darryl: Where safe room?!

Ben: check map

Darryl: Didn’t loot map

Thomas: Damn.

Ben: CHECK MAP!

Darryl: CANT!

Ben: is in inventory!

The woolf apparently jumped against the wall and launched itself into the corridor Darryl went into, losing almost none of its momentum and now being on his tail close enough for Darryl to hear its panting and the drops of saliva hitting the ground.

Darryl: CANT!

Ben: INVENTORY!

Thomas: He can’t!

Ben: BOSS IS IN INVENTORY!!!

Oh, right.

Darryl, still pedalling as fast as he could, tried to take one hand off the wheel and the little lamb appeared. He quickly pressed the hand and lamb against the steering wheel again to steady it, because the bicycle’s front wheel had immediately started to wobble aggressively.

Darryl didn’t look as he quickly looted everything on the lamb, seeing the minimap suddenly clear up to reveal everything in over a kilometre and a half radius. He put the lamb back into his inventory and hastily traded it to Ben.

He tried to study the map, but heard the woolf gain on him the moment he lost focus on pumping his legs as fast as he could, so he quickly focussed his attention on doing nothing but that. A few seconds later, the other two came through.

Thomas: Take the next right, enemies straight ahead.

Thomas: Second left, Tutorial Guide to your right after 200m.

Darryl: too far! It catch up! toilet?

Ben: SCATTER PAPER!

Ben: hold hand back, drop paper!!!

Darryl frowned, but remembering Ben’s paper flurry trick from before he obliged and pointed one hand behind him as if he was half Naruto running. He selected one of the stacks of 999x pieces of paper and dropped it.

A single piece of paper fluttered behind him. Darryl frowned and focussed on the 998x stack. Thinking ‘drop all’ or ‘repeat’ didn’t work, but then he continuously kept thinking drop and the stack began to drop in number.

A flurry of papers scattered behind him, giving him a white trail but not increasing his speed. It didn’t matter though, as the woolf yelped in surprise and found itself too close to dodge in time. At least one piece of paper must’ve found its way underneath its feet, because it slipped and fell.

Darryl heard its claws screech and skitter over the floor, the sharp talons rending through the solid stone as the woolf grasped to retain its footing. It stumbled and lost much of its movement in the attempt to keep its immense momentum going without it being its downfall, but then kicked with its mighty legs and managed to keep moving after but a short stumble that cost it about half its speed.

The manoeuvre had worked though, granting Darryl a few metres of distance as he kept pedalling with ragged breath. He followed Thomas’s instructions, and saw the tutorial guide appear on the edge of the mini map he hadn’t dared to widen given his inability to focus on it right now.

The woolf was hot on his tail, and after trying to drop paper a second and third time it was clear that Darryl wouldn’t be gaining much with that trick any more. He wasn’t going to give the woolf an inch if he could help it, and with the new distance between them the woolf had enough time to easily run past or jump through the paper flurry without losing much ground.

Darryl was slowly gaining some more distance on it inch by inch, thanks to having levelled up bicycle riding twice during the tense chase. Though he was still exhausted and only tiring ever further, at least he was a little faster rather than a little slower when giving his all.

He saw a couple more items pop into his inventory, and Ben PM’d something. Darryl wondered if it would work, but decided to give it a try. He produced another flurry of paperwork, and then dropped the bottles of alcohol and the glass shards that Ben sent him.

The glass shattered, giving away the surprise that Darryl had tried to obscure with the paper, but hopefully the woolf couldn’t see where the shards landed exactly regardless.

That hope was dashed remorselessly as Darryl heard the glass shatter under the woolf’s feet, only to solicit an annoyed grunt but not the slightest of intent to slow down. It did seem to piss it off though, as it snarled hatefully and then howled angrily with a volume that made the ground under Darryl’s wheels resonate.

Motivated to move faster after that intimidating display, and giving his all for the last stretch regardless, Darryl gained but the slightest edge of distance on the woolf before hitting the brakes as hard as he could. One of them snapped, but the bicycle screeched to a halt regardless as he extended a hand to grab the tutorial guide’s handle in passing.

The next few moments seemed to go in slow-motion. Darryl grasped the doorknob and turned it, trying to use it as an anchor at the same time to lose more of his still significant momentum. The door opened and Darryl felt the opening motion of the door, the momentum of the bicycle beneath him and the turning of his torso caught between the two to greatly disagree with one another.

He held on to the door handle and popped the bicycle back into his inventory as his legs flew out from under him. The door swung open, and Darryl swung with it like an oversized keychain before coming to a hard stop hitting the dungeon wall.

The woolf wasn’t doing much better. It pounced the moment that Darryl hit the brakes and came within lunging distance, only to now find a door between him and the human. A thin and frail-looking door which upon physical inspection turned out to be more indestructible than the grandfather clock from before.

The door creaked on its hinges as the woolf crashed into it face-first and all but bounced back, and Darryl messily flopped onto the ground after his intimate encounter with the wall. He scrambled up, still dazed and seeing double but not waiting for his legs to stop shaking, and crawled into the tutorial guide.

The woolf howled and Darryl turned around, re-equipping the kite shield as he braced himself. It shattered as the woolf’s claws raked across it and into Darryl’s forearm, only to get stuck in the harder material that his flesh proved to be thanks to the cufflinks.

Darryl gasped in pain and fear, not only from the wound but also from how it had immediately put him below 25% health. He quickly grabbed the doorsill with his good arm and hoisted himself further into the room.

The woolf smiled a devilish smile and struck again with lightning speed, only to be just a moment too late.

You have entered a Safe Zone.

The notification appeared as its claw made contact, and the Big Bad Woolf popped out of existence without dealing any damage.

Darryl panted, popped one of the health potions from his hotbar and pulled himself further into the room as the wound on his arm slowly stopped bleeding. He saw the red dot of the Big Bad Woolf on his minimap slowly wander back to his location again, so Darryl dragged himself over the doorstep it could return. Even if the Woolf could no longer attack him directly, right now it would be easy to drag him back out non-violently.

“You look like you’ve been running for miles.” Volos said, looking up from the book he was reading on his comfortable armchair by the fireplace. “Rough day?”

Darryl took out an adventurer biscuit, realising he hadn’t eaten yet, and nibbled on it. “Nothing I shouldn’t get used to, I guess…”