When I woke up, it was almost break time.

So, I was freaked out. It was Pak Budi’s lesson that I missed right now.

Damn, my homework would surely double itself if I was caught skipping class.

Whatever, dammit.

I was walking sluggishly to class. I felt sick in real time that I didn’t realize so many eyes were following me. Some peeking, while some blatantly observing with a smirk which I had no idea the meaning was.

Oh, they were murmuring too, aloud, to be honest.

So I straightened my sluggish body and walked like a proud peacock, I mean, they already thought that I was like a circus monkey.

Why not be a proud peacock instead? Proudly saying, “Yes, I was skipping, so?”

"Nina? You’ve just arrived, huh?"

The voice whose owner made me avoid him like a plague suddenly appeared, for I walked away faster immediately wishing he would not catch up.

If people were asking, “Nin, why’re you so silent when others try to talk to you?”

Well, it’s because…

Tried to imagine first so that I could explain easier. If you’re actually not that pretty like those supermodels but you’re admired as if you were one, what’d you think?

Sounds fun, right?

That’s also what I used to think when I first entered high school, imagining love letters piled in my desk drawers, adorable secret fans and getting lots of chocolates and flowers on Valentine's Day.

It felt so excitingly dag-dig-dug—that’s how you imagine how it felt, right?

Dag-dig-dug—The sound of a heartbeat, just say it felt so damn exciting?

What about the actual one? Ha. Ha. Ha.

Ha. Ha. Ha.—A laugh you make with no emotion nor joy. A sarcastic laugh.

Secret admirer? Eh Mawar, that was just a softer term for stalkers.

Mawar—Means 'rose,' not as a flower but as a name which is her way to insult someone else (E.g. Bambang, Marni, Marina, Udin ... so on).

S-T-A-L-K-E-R. Got it?

Think about it, I had to change my number countless times that I was sick of it just because there were too many love messages from unknown numbers.

Changing numbers, receiving love messages, changing numbers again, receiving love messages again.

It was like a damn circle.

There was one time when I was so fed up with this certain stalker because he took my pictures illegally. I struck him by pretending to be a life insurance seller and found out it was Jordan. A student from 11.3 who every morning screamed that he’s going to make me like him.

Urghh.

That truly blew my mind away, I mean, he was looking so normal—maybe with some loose screws in his brain, but yeah, pretty normal if we compared him with my totally brainless classmate.

Anyway, he one-sidedly fell in love with me at first sight, which aroused my pity for him because he could not even hide it. The strange thing was, even though I pitied him, I felt uncomfortable near him.

So, there were reasons!

"Why won't you talk to me, Nina?" Jordan tried to match his pace with me.

If, just what if... he liked me a little bit normal like, well someone, I thought that we could be friends though. I mean, he was polite to the point it was uncomfortable and from the way he messaged me, I was sure he was possessive as hell.

t.n. In orig, Jordan talks politely ('aku-kamu' not 'gue-elu') 'I-you' only to Nina which is how couples talk to each other or when you court your crush.

Nah, nevermind. I will not befriend someone like him.