《Welcome to the Upward Bound System, V.2》Revision notice, (NOT another do over), Non chapter
Advertisement
Hi everyone hope the new year is treating you all well so far.
As you all have read, this is about a revision of some of the earlier chapter's content.
I want to improve the descriptions in the earlier chapters to help the story be more acceptable. Some have made comments that Dante in the earlier chapters is Dull and without any real personality. Unfortunately...
...I believe them.
I hope that all of you who love and enjoy the story won't be too made about the delay this will cause.
I also hope that you guys will point out parts of the story that you have issue with. I'm thinking I'm going to have to edit the scenes where Dante and his dad are in Brothel Alley. How would you guys like to see that part changed? I would prefer to keep it more or less the same. Dante and his dad together at meeting Oscar.
I will directly quote one of the readers in their comments about the story.
"The characters are just really dull. Dante is given the most screen time but I can honestly think of no words to describe his personality or character. Other than 'Generic' is a normal dude with normal morals and normal views. He doesn't seem to have any stresses or conflicts to his character or anything that would require growth to change. He doesn't even seem particularly ambitious or curious, character traits that can pull a lot of weight in am otherwise normal character. Maybe that works for some people, but not me."
These are among the issues that I feel need to be fixed to draw in more people and make a more interesting story for you all. But there must be a balance.
To directly quote what my brother said about the issue.
Advertisement
He stopped at two from the sounds of it if you'd actually look at what he's said
And he's right to man
And sometimes you give Dante these emotional mood swings that make little sense. ELABORATE, SAY MORE THAN "Lol he's crying"
He tries to heal a cat and cries when he fails, that's understandable. But you need to make it so the people reading the story also feel that. Idk, maybe you describe the feeling of watching this poor gutted cat's look of hope or resignation. You stretch moments out so it can be felt. DO SOMETHING"
There is also the problem of having to make minor correction to some errors that no one but my brother seems to have found. Not with the blue boxes, but it's an issue with one of the Headmaster's lines.
I do need to improve how Dante shows his emotion among several other things. I thank you all for your comments. Again if any of you have suggestions for this revision please feel free to either leave them in the comments below this notice chapter or beneath the chapter you would wish to see be updated.
Thank you all for reading the story and to let you all know the story has climbed past the 4000's in rank and has reached the 3000's. Thank you all! I couldn't have done it without you guys!
Advertisement
- In Serial31 Chapters
The Defective Hermit
Vincent Standish had faced a lot of disappointments during the last five years. But things were finally starting to look up for him and in a big way too. While working the late shift at his second part time job, as a cashier in a gas station, on a whim he bought a lottery ticket which had a jackpot that had grown extremely large. Three days later he was astonished to find that he was one of three lottery winners. With that money he was able to retire, when he had been afraid that he would be forced work until the day that he died, or worse yet living in a cardboard box if he lost his two paltry paying jobs. Vincent soon found forty acres of land and quickly had his simple and robust dream home constructed. Disappointed in people, it was his avowed goal to be a hermit and shun the world. Too bad for his dreams that only a year after winning the lottery, all of humanity started seeing colored text messages before their very eyes, messages that warned of dire things to come.
8 553 - In Serial29 Chapters
Tome of the Body
Every great story needs an author. Samuel Bragg, an ordinary human map maker, sets out from his humdrum life in a small village to take over the estate of his late father, and discovers that an ancient, fallen god calls out to him in his sleep. Come find me, it says. Intrigued, Samuel sets out to find the deity, assisted by his two new mysterious and powerful friends. Read Tome of the Body to discover what happens when a legend is born. In a world teeming with the extraordinary, what can be accomplished by a young man who is quite ordinary himself? Together, we will learn, just as Samuel does, that even amongst the ordinary, the extraordinary can be born. New chapter every day until completed. This story is posted both on ScribbleHub and Royal Road
8 129 - In Serial9 Chapters
The Grand eGress
Original Sci-fi Fantasy LN by Itsutsu KamiA young man becomes a beta tester for a new type of VR to help pay for his dorm fees but gets more than he bargains for.
8 144 - In Serial16 Chapters
Re:Answer
On a day he thought to be regular, Keisuke, a 19 year old boy somehow miraculously ended up in a fantasy world involving swords and magic after his death. There he met a girl who resembles his childhood friend and immediately, Keisuke regarded this person as her. Unknowingly, he got involve in a mess much bigger than he could actually swallow. His vision of a fantasy world was immediately shattered and their deaths came all too quick, without even being able to do anything. Just when he thought death had finally claimed him, he once again awoke to his starting point with no trace of wounds that killed him and perfectly fine health?Inspired by Shin Shirogane no Soleil -ReAnswer-
8 162 - In Serial11 Chapters
Ai Senju's Journey Around the World
Ai Senju, the Daughter of Tsunade Senju, and a visitor from outside was isekie'd to another world by her father. The only explanation she got was this is good for you and so she was dropped in a world with Demons and Demon Slayers. Dropped in this new world, with no chakra and her powers gone, with no way to go back, what was she supposed to do? How is she supposed to go back? ..................................................3000 words per chapter. 2 chapter per week. ......................................................Current World - Demon Slayer. Next Planned World - My Hero Academia....................................................Currently I have no plans for there being any smut in it. This is not a R-18 story. It might change in the future, decided by majority vote.
8 87 - In Serial9 Chapters
Highschool DxD: King of the Storm
[This is a Remake]310 years ago There lived a powerful ancient Devil house with a history reaching as far back as 1 Million years But things never last as one the Devil clan was attacked by the people they called friends They were attacked by the head of the Devil clan Gremory who was jealous of the Family's legendary power and decided to kill them to put his family at the top Valkhan at the age of 17, along with his 7-year-old sister Isabella were the only survivors of the attack there Father was killed in front of Jared as his sister struggled After all that Jared grabbed his sister and ran into the nightUpon Seeing all that had been taken from him Valkhan had a hatred for The Gremory clan vowing vengeance For his family that were killed by the people they called friends
8 153

