Business as Usual

By the time I woke up the next morning, Marianne was already gone. For a moment, I wondered if I had just hallucinated the entirety of yesterday until I checked my phone and saw her texts.

“Sorry I had to leave! Something came up at work and I didn’t want to wake you. I left some eggs and toast at the counter. See you tonight? xoxo”

I stepped into the kitchen and as expected, found a plate of eggs and toast. They were still warm, which meant Marianne probably hadn't left for long. Scooping up some eggs with a spoon, I thrusted them down my throat. Mm. Delicious. I could taste the pepper and the rosemary. If this was something Marianne made herself, then I sure as hell didn’t need to worry about learning to cook for the rest of my life.

Today was apparently a Monday, which made sense considering how Marianne and I were free to spend the whole day shopping yesterday. A quick glance at my schedule book told me that I was supposed to go to work. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t know what I did for work, and with no Marianne to help me (I didn’t know the passcode on my phone), I was just as lost as ever.

Thankfully, the employee award certificate in my room had a company name listed on the top of the page, so I took a cab and just told the driver to take me to their main office. The company I’m working for (or used to work for) was apparently called the “Big Business Company”. Even if I no longer work there, maybe someone there would know where I work now … ?

…

The cab ride to the offices took about 20 minutes. During my ride, we drove past the stadium that I saw on the news last night. Up close, the stadium looked even bigger and grander than what I remembered. I guess there really was a difference between seeing things in real life and on the TV.

A plaque in front of the stadium told me that the stadium was apparently called the Limbus City Stadium. Just like Marianne’s name, I was hoping that learning the city’s name would somehow trigger a chain reaction in my brain that would cause me to regain my memories, but nothing came up. Shame. I guess I’ll just have to keep on trying.

The cab eventually pulled over at a tall office building that was covered with glass windows. Figuring that this was my stop, I paid the driver and entered the lobby of the building, trying to figure out my next move.

… So what was my next move? I’ll be the first to admit that I didn’t really think this whole plan through. It wasn’t like I could just walk up to the receptionist and be like “Hey, do you know I still work here?”, because how was he supposed to know? I guess a good starting point would be to find out which floor the offices of the “Big Business Company” were on. Maybe if I looked at the signs next to the lifts, I could figure out -

“Sam!” A voice hollered across the lobby, interrupting my thoughts.

Vaguely remembering my name from Marianne yesterday, I turned around and saw a man with brown hair and a scruffy beard rushing over towards me.

“Where’ve you been man? You’re late! Everyone in the office has been looking for you!” The man puffed, clearly out of breath.

“Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry. Bad traffic today.” I lied. “Been stuck in a cab for hours.”

“A cab?” The man asked, puzzled. “Don’t you normally take the subway?”

“I guess I just… felt like taking a cab today?”

“Hm.” The man said. “Well anyways, you need to come to the meeting room now. Literally everyone’s been waiting for you.”

Well at least now I know for a fact that I still work here, but why was everyone in the office waiting for me?

“What for?” I asked.

“For your presentation.” He replied. “It is presentation day today, remember?”

Shit. I wasn’t prepared to give a presentation. I barely even knew the name of the company I worked for, much less what I actually did.

The man must’ve noticed the look on my face. “... You did prepare for the presentation, didn’t you?”

“Oh me? Yeah. Of course I have.” I tried to wave him off casually. “... Just out of curiosity, do you by chance already know what my presentation topic is going to be?”

“It’s the one you wouldn’t shut up about for the past few weeks. ‘The Macroeconomic Study of Heteroskedastic Errors and Its Implications on Stochastic Markets’. You kept telling everyone about how this presentation was going to save the company.” He said as we stepped into the elevator. “That’s why everyone is here. Even Tommy showed up today!”

Nothing about the presentation topic made any sense. And I sure as hell didn’t remember knowing a Tommy. But hey, if I was smart enough to make it to work while having amnesia, maybe I was still smart enough to figure out how to give this presentation?

…

…

A room filled with blank faces stared back at me as the man I met at the lobby helped me set up my presentation. A quick skim through the PowerPoint was all it took for me to realize that I was screwed. Not only was it over 70 pages long, but the slides were all filled with numbers and gibberish that I just couldn’t possibly understand. There was no way in hell that I knew enough about the topic to base this PowerPoint off my presentation.

Now you’re probably thinking. Why not just admit that you have amnesia so you wouldn’t have to do this presentation? And my response to that question is - where’s the fun in that? This isn’t my life. Nothing I do or say has any real consequences. Not only that, but we’re supposed to test our limits as human beings, to constantly challenge ourselves to improve. That’s how humanity moves forwards. Not by running away when we find something too difficult. But by trying no matter how impossible the task.

So I do what everyone should do in situations like these. I improvise.

“So. I’m guessing you all know why we’re here today.” I said, standing in the center of the room.

A feeling of anticipation filled the air. Everyone in the room held their breaths, waiting for me to speak.

“Recent reports from the other departments indicated the company has been doing… bad lately.” I said. “And this is a problem because well, we don’t want the company to be doing bad. We want the company to be doing good.”

“But why has the company been doing bad?” I continued. “Well, there are many reasons, but the main reason is because the economy has also been… bad.”

Someone in the room raised their hand.

“Yes?” I asked.

“But why is the economy bad?”

“Good question.” I said. “That’s because of the banks and the government. They’ve been really messing up the economy lately. In fact, according to a recent study, almost 100% of all banks and governments in the world are found to be responsible for their own economy.”

A bunch of people nodded and started jotting down notes with their pens.

“But what can we do to fix this problem?” Someone else asked.

“Another great question.” I said. “Well after doing some thorough research for the past few weeks, I managed to figure out that in order to save the business, we need to do… more business.”

An old man sitting at the back of the room rubbed his chin in contemplation. Clearly, he was unimpressed with my findings so far.

“This is preposterous! Why would your suggestion solve any of our problems? I”ve been working in this company for 25 years and I’ll be damned if I’ve ever heard of anything as outlandish as this!” He declared.

“Tommy please.” Someone said. “Let Sam speak. Though I am also intrigued, how will this help the company?”

“Well, business deals make money.” I explained. “If we have more business deals, then we would make … more money?”

“A splendid idea! Why haven’t I thought about this before?” Someone else shouted out in the room. “Please, tell us more!”

The next 15 minutes of the meeting contained more or less the same thing. I come up with some trivial nonsense, while everyone else… well everyone else in the room just eats it all up. To be honest, I wasn’t so sure how the Big Business Company managed to stay in business for so long if they couldn’t even grasp the simple concept of ‘more deals equal more money’. But hey, who was I to complain? The people in the room were practically singing hymns about how good my suggestions were after hearing what I had to say.

By the end of the meeting I learnt a very valuable lesson in life. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter if you’re dumb and stupid. Sometimes, all that matters is that you’re smarter than everyone else in the room. Because why be smarter than you need to be if you’re already winning the love and adoration of your peers around you? After all, that’s all that matters, right?

…

…

Congratulations! You’ve won the love and adoration of all your co-workers. Life is great! You gained 3 XP in charisma and public speaking. Perhaps you’ll be able to use these skills some other time…?