I used to hear that by expecting the unexpected, you could never be taken by surprise in life.

I’m pretty fucking sure they didn’t have this kind of situation in mind.

- Please raise your right arm - Said an old man wearing a pristine white coat, holding something akin to a tech device in his hand.

I complied, promptly raising my right arm, which by the way, is completely made of some kind of metal, while still trying to process all the information I've been told just a moment ago.

Summarizing, I was rescued from an alien attack, brought to a medical lab where they saved my mangled body, and have been in a coma for 105 years. Quoting their words, there has been a myriad of technological advances that allowed for my recovery, and I’m part of a test project for treating war veterans. Now, as I've regained consciousness, they are performing some tests of the multiple technological parts implanted in my body that, according to what I heard, are absolutely needed for me to stay alive.

After some time, the device from before started beeping with a yellowish light, and on it’s screen some words appeared that the old man read out loud, but in a language that I'm pretty sure I've never heard before. The oldest of the bunch, a tiny grandpa that looked like a raising but with the whistest beard in my memory, seemed to notice my confusion and smiled.

- There’s some slight need for adjustments, but we need usage data from you Miss Lilith, so you’ll have to provide us with feedback as you try your new body - He said, his smile unmoving - Try stretching a bit.

I grunted in acknowledgment, not bothering with words. They might have saved me but you have to understand that if you wake up naked surrounded by looks, you are bound to be grumpy.

My metal arm feels fine, almost like it’s just my normal, made of flesh arm. I can even feel the wind when I move it. As I direct my view below, I see the rest. My lower body, from hip to toe, is completely made of the same metal as my arm, and the sensation is quite the same, although at my first step I tumble, I manage to steady myself quite quickly. Seems like my reflexes stayed sharp at least.

- Sensory input seems fine as well, and it will surely improve with time - Said the old man, probably reading my expression again.

- So… what will be of me now? - I ask, looking at them warily. I might seem ungrateful to my saviors but hey, that’s my training kicking in.

- Your records show that you were part of the United Nations space military forces, which i’m sorry to inform you, disbanded 73 years ago. You are currently in the possession of the Stellar Union of Humankind, some of our founders were the heads of the UN military so we are some sort of successors to your former allegiances - The man responds with a matter-of-factly tone of voice.

The use of “possession” really bothers me but i’m not in a position to really ask about it right now. I ponder about all of what he said but he continues without giving me time to understand it.

- It will be easier once we connect your VA… Mr. Blaike, is the set up done?

- Wait - I intervene - What the hell is a VA?

- Green and ready to deploy Dr. Arman - Another guy answers, sitting in front of a digital screen.

- Relax Miss Lilith, this way you’ll get answers in a much more understandable way - Says the white bearded guy that i now know is named Arman.

- What the hell do you mean you old… - My cursing gets interrupted by an intense buzzing in my ears.

I immediately cover my ears, wincing in pain but it’s no use, the buzzing is fucking coming from inside. After a couple of seconds, it stops as quickly as it came, but my back is still arched from the recoil of it.

[Initializing]

A voice resounds in my head. I look up trying to identify the source but all I find are the same faces looking at me expectantly.

[Complete. Welcome to the initial setup of VA model SUH42-2121007, i’m your Virtual Assistant, please input a name you are comfortable with for easier command processing]

…

What the fuck?