Chapter 22

Raiel woke with a jolt, as if shocked. He was sweating, bed covers soaked through with it, and gasping for air, unable to draw in breath for the first few seconds of wakefulness. His mind was a jumble of thoughts and emotions. Tears flowed freely from his eyes, quiet sobs escaping with every inhalation of air. His world had been turned upside down in an instant. When sleep had claimed him, he had not known what would be revealed in that strange parallel world. And now… Now, nothing was as it had been. And the giant. The giant, the memory of that titan of a being was etched into his brain, as clear as if he was looking at it.

The recollection of forgetting its existence after each consecutive encounter was… an odd thing to look back on, to say the least. Now, however, there was not a doubt in his mind. But, what exactly that behemoth was, in any sense of the word, was still a mystery. Nonetheless, some very important things had returned to him. The memories of his family and the sacrifice they’d made in order for him to live. He must have been eight or nine years old, when it happened.

Still, his entire life before the tragic event was still nothing but a hazy, washed out image, only that fateful night standing clear, as if carved in stone. He supposed it must have made such an impression on his young mind, that that specific memory took precedence over the rest – burned into him, so to speak.

It had all been sealed within him by his mother. Everything. His heritage – familial, emotional, biological. All stowed away to let him survive. Survive whatever they’d been forced to flee from. Raiel felt blinding fury well up in him. Someone had taken everything from him, and even more from his parents. The feeling was an immensely uncomfortable and incongruous thing – strong, sudden hatred for someone about whom he had no knowledge. In the memory, there had been nothing of notice to help him ascertain the culprit.

Despite Raiel’s best effort, tears continued to run down his cheeks. It all felt so surreal, but nonetheless real. That had been no dream.

Raiel looked around the hospital room, just now noticing that it was in the middle of the night. Certain that sleep was a wish that would not be fulfilled again tonight, he sat up with a pained groan, as his body ached all over. He swung his legs over his bedside, touching his bare feet to the cool floor. It felt good. Drawing in a breath to steel himself, he made the attempt to stand up, determination burning hot. He rocked his body forward, planting both feet on the ground, and tried to stand up all the way. It would have worked if not for the fact, that his body adamantly refused to listen to his commands. Instead of the graceful spring to his feet that he had hoped for, his knees both decided that they would much rather stay bent, as he toppled over, face first to the floor. Weirdly, he felt happy that, at least, there was no crunch of a broken nose or smashed teeth. Standards change, it would seem.

Knowing that a cry of pain would be the quickest way to get the entire night staff in the hospital to come running, he stifled it to barely a hiss. He closed his eyes tightly and clenched his teeth, as he just laid there for a moment, feeling the spikes of agony shoot through him with renewed vigor. Several deep breaths later, as well as a few encouraging words to himself, he began to rise from the floor, slowly, putting one foot down while he supported himself on hands and knee.

Saying his limbs were stiff would be a criminal understatement, as the spacious room practically echoed with the grinding of bones and joints. Miraculously, within a couple of minutes, he was actually standing up straight, pain less than he thought it would have been. With tentative steps, he made his way to the door, where he put an ear to the wood to listen for anyone in the hallway outside. Straining his ears, not a sound came from the other side of the door, so he opened it just a crack and peered out into the deep darkness of the long corridors. Not a soul. He breathed a sigh of relief.

He was determined to make it to his dorm room as quickly as his broken body would allow him to. It was difficult to support his weight on the left leg, where one koval has gotten him with a claw earlier in the day, but despite that, he kept walking through the hospital. There was a certain book in his room, that he now had a newfound interest in. The book on general history, which rested safely in his drawer, might reveal something worthwhile on the incident all those years ago. Raiel wouldn’t get his hopes up, but it was definitely worth a try. Raiel was careful to leave unlocked the side entrance to the hospital he had come through, so he would be able to get back in later.

Outside, the fresh, crisp night air felt so good on his skin, and he noticed then, that he’d forgotten to put on a shirt and pants, wearing nothing but underwear and bandages. Now he really hoped no one was about, or he might get in trouble for more than just a nocturnal excursion. He walked slowly, excruciatingly slowly, and had to take numerous breaks to catch his breath and groan in pain. Despite having been bedridden for less than a single day, he was acting like it had been months. Just what the hell had happened back then?

He dragged his feet through the streets of the enormous campus, weariness whispering pleas for him to lay down and rest right where he was. He was not especially sleepy, his body simply drained, like someone had poked a hole in the sole of his feet, all the energy inside spilling out. In order to maximize the chances of making the entire trip without being noticed, Raiel picked the narrowest and darkest streets he could find, keeping to the shadows, out of the ghostly white light from the half-moon hanging in the sky above. The moon had always calmed him down, its soft glow never failing to draw his gaze to the beautiful, imperfect surface, upon which his mind could fabricate all sorts of fantastic tales.

As he slowly progressed through the empty streets, his bare feet slapping quietly on the cobblestone roads, he began to suspect that he had lost his way in the night. In the dark and with no one else around, even with strong vision, the cityscape became something else entirely. The way the shadows fell and the stillness made some parts, where he had already been, barely recognizable.

Miserable, he trudged on and on for what felt like hours, until a bastion of hope suddenly appeared before Raiel’s tired and heavy eyes. The bakery! If there was any place on this campus, from where he would be able to find his way home to the dormitory, this happy little shop was definitely it. He walked over, hoping to inspect the wares for future purchases, but found the small interior space to be completely void of the wonderful pastries. Well, that made sense. The hearty baker had probably sold the lot of them before he closed up for the night.

With the bakery as a familiar point of reference, Raiel walked on with renewed confidence, the prospect of actually making it before morning pumping a dose of energy into him. Within forty-five minutes, the large dormitory building came into view when he turned a corner. Sighing in relief and following the path to the door, the door opened with hardly a sound. Thus, began the most difficult, and likely most painful part of the journey. Climbing the stairs.

Right off the bat, the boy opted to make the ascent on all fours to distribute his weight more. Every new step sent another ache through his limbs, and he briefly considered letting himself go, and just slide back down. Once he reached his floor, he crawled on hands and knees the rest of the way to the door to the room, double checking to make sure that he had the right one.

He stood up with a heave and an exhalation, and grabbed a hold of the door handle, pushing on the door gently, trying to make as little noise as possible. As the door began to slowly swing open, a sudden onset of dizziness overcame him, his head beginning to buzz and vision swim. With a loud metallic crack, the door handle, which he had been pulling down on, smacked back into place, and Raiel tripped over his own feet, landing cheek first on their floor. Yaeth screamed shrilly, pulling his covers over himself in a futile attempt to protect himself from whatever had crashed into their shared room.

Yaeth dared a peek at the floor and immediately recognized his idiotic roommate lying in a heap without clothes on. He wished he could say, that this was among the last things he would have expected to happen. Raiel groaned as he turned his head up to check if he had woken Yaeth up with that spectacle. He was met with the darkest glare he’d ever seen.

“Uuh, hey.” he greeted Yaeth in a cheerful tone, in an attempt to defuse the situation. “Now, that you’re up anyway-…“ Yaeth responded by laying back down with his back to Raiel before he’d finished the sentence. Raiel’s words hung in the air, his mouth hanging open in hesitation, before he spoke again.

“Could you hel-…”

“No.” Yaeth interrupted, preemptively shooting down anything Raiel could have to say at this time of night.

“Yaeth, I don’t think I can get up…” Raiel pleaded.

“Tough.” was all he got in response.

Raiel lay on the floor, desperation building in him with every second that passed by. His body refused to move, and it was frustrating to no end. He was helpless for now.

“Everything’s changed, Yaeth. You need to help me up right now.” Yaeth lay silent and unmoving for a moment. He had discerned the desperate tone in Raiel’s voice. He turned over and propped himself up on an elbow to look at his roommate, astonished to see tears streaking down the other boy’s face. Suddenly, he became all flustered, managing to stammer out a series of words.

“Oh sh-, what’s wrong?” he asked quickly. “What happened?”

Raiel tentatively wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, the movement seeming to cause a bit of pain. He, too, seemed surprised to feel the fluid on his cheeks and quickly wiped it all away, getting himself under control. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay!” Yaeth hurried to say. “So, what’s up?” he questioned in a calm voice.

Raiel was silent for a long while as he considered how to best proceed in this situation. He’d promised himself to keep his abilities as closely guarded as he could. Was he really about to tell Yaeth everything? That’s what his gut told him to do, and his gut was rarely wrong. With the consistent stream of new and complicated problems being revealed, he would be hard-pressed to deal with it all on his own. He was just one person, and he lacked the experience of someone who had lived their entire life in the city. In a sense, those memories had sent him over a mental edge. The secrets had been numerous enough, already, and now the greatest one of them all had just crashed down on top of the pile. Something inside him had clicked, and he had had enough. Even as the words left his mouth, he was severely doubting his decision. Whether this was a bad idea or not, time would tell.

“My parents… I- I know what happened to them, now.” Raiel almost whispered.

“What?”

“I know why they died. I couldn’t remember, but now I do. I remember what happened!” Raiel clarified, his voice starting to gain momentum, as it grew from a whisper to an agitated clamor.

“Okay, okay! Calm down, man. You’re going to wake the whole floor if you keep that up.” Yaeth hissed, putting both hands in front of himself, trying to quieten his friend. “Just… tell me.”

Raiel took a deep breath before he continued, words coming to him like a rushing river as soon as he’d decided to talk. “My parents… They were killed, and I know why.” he began. “They… No, we were being hunted. My memories have been hidden away in my head until now.”

Raiel stopped talking to judge Yaeth’s reaction to his words. His roommate looked positively sick with confusion. He put his fingers on his temples, shutting his eyes tightly as his brain worked on full speed. “So…” Yaeth started, but couldn’t seem to find the words to continue. “Wait, go back. Say it again… I don’t follow at all.” he admitted.

Raiel sighed and took another deep breath, trying to think of the best way to explain it all in an understandable way. “Well, there’s this thing I can do…”

Raiel told him about how he’d always been using infusion, for as long as he could remember, and presumably even before the time he could remember, too. When he hunted, walked, explored – he was always using it. It came naturally. He told him about his discovery of the true potential of that power after Yaeth had taught him about it, and how weak he had found out he really was. He told him how he had begun to develop his abilities, and learned, to a degree, to direct the energy consciously.

He even talked about his fight with the slavers, and Yaeth looked both awestruck and frightened at the same time, subconsciously scooching a little further away from Raiel as he listened. He continued into the story about the kovals earlier that day, and Yaeth whistled, impressed.

“Can I see?” Yaeth finally asked, leaning forward on his bed. Eyes wide with expectation.

“See what?”

“Infusion, obviously! You can’t just drop something like that and expect me to accept it without a demonstration.”

Raiel scratched his chin. “I suppose that makes sense.” he said slowly, considering his options. Right now, his body was a ruin of its former glory, and although he was definitely in better shape than he had been right after his fight with the kovals, even the smallest of infusions summoned severe bouts of pain.

“But, I can’t right now. This state I’m in… I think it happened after I concentrated the substance too much in my body. That’s the only cause I can come up with, at least.” Raiel explained with an apologetic half-smile. He lifted his arm to emphasize his point, but it froze at shoulder height as he winced.

“Ouch!” he hissed through clenched teeth. “I can hardly even move right now…”

Yaeth watched him for a minute, looking for any obvious, external symptoms of his condition. “So… you didn’t actually get hurt or anything?” he asked.

“Not in a way that would cause this.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure that there’s a limit to how much infusion your body can take at a time, sort of like with food and water. At some point, it practically becomes a poison.” Yaeth explained, his eyes wandering around the room as he pulled the information from his head. “According to my dad and my brother, you can build up a tolerance. Apparently, the headmaster here is like a bottomless pit – able to concentrate extreme amounts of energy. I don’t actually think I’ve ever heard of anyone who’s seen him go all out.” Yaeth was getting excited again, talking about the strongest individuals in the land.

“So, that really is what happened to me?” Raiel asked with a raised eyebrow. “I simply used to much? Will I get better?” Concern crept into his voice when it dawned on him, that he might be stuck with those horrible surges of pain for life, if the damage was permanent.

“Uuh, yeah.” Yaeth answered hesitantly. “I think so, at least. It’s fairly common for practitioners to experience that kind of impairment. Well, maybe not to such a degree…” he said, gesturing to Raiel’s sitting form. He clenched a fist and huffed in frustration.

“Damn it! I’m so fucking envious of you, man!” he almost yelled.

“Of me? Have you seen me lately?” Raiel asked incredulously. “Not much to be envious of here.”

“Are you serious? You waltz in here – or, I guess you crawled – you crawl in here and announce your secret superpower like it’s no big deal!” Yaeth complained “It’s a huge deal! Do you even know what kind of influence you can attain with that kind of talent? You’re up there with the nobles.” he stopped to catch his breath and Raiel interrupted.

“To be honest, I would rather not tell anyone. I’m still not even sure if telling you was a good idea or not.” Raiel observed wearily. “I’d also guess, that that is why Tali is so interested in me.”

Yaeth’s mouth fell open as he stared into space for a few seconds. Then his head snapped forward and he combed his fingers through his hair in confusion. “Shit. That makes a lot of sense. That’s really bad.”

“Right?” Raiel agreed. “What should I do?”

“I… don’t know. Is there really anything you can do?” Yaeth questioned. “Just be careful around her, always keep an eye open, and hope she doesn’t plan to kill you. But I wouldn’t put it past her.” he added absentmindedly.

“Great.” Raiel grumbled sarcastically.

They both sat in silence, none of them sure what to say or do.

“So, what did you come here for again?” Yaeth finally asked.

“The book!” Raiel exclaimed. “I need my history book in my drawer!”

“Okay, okay! What for?” Yaeth crawled out from under his covers and walked to Raiel’s drawer, opening it and shuffling through the meagre belongings until he found the book on general history. He grabbed it and tossed it to Raiel, who, despite easily seeing the book fly towards him, failed to get his hands up to catch it.

“Ow!” Raiel grunted as the thick, heavy book connected with his cheek and rattled to the floor, its pages folding up under itself. “I’m hurt here!” he moaned and tried to rub his cheek but gave up half-way.

“Sorry.” Yaeth mumbled sheepishly, ducking under Raiel’s glare.

“Anyway…” Raiel murmured, directing his attention to the book by his knees. Having sat on the floor for as long as he had, his body had stiffened even further, and it was a shivering hand that flipped the book over and found the index. He carefully scanned the chapter titles, cursing his inability to comprehend many of the words and phrases.

“What are you looking for?” Yaeth asked with evident curiosity as he kneeled next to his friend.

Raiel was focused and answered without looking up from the index he was trying to decipher. “I said my parents were killed because we were hunted.” he began.

“Right.” Yaeth agreed and Raiel saw him nod to himself out of the corner of his eye.

“I remember my mother’s words…” Raiel ground his teeth as he felt a surge of fury take hold in his stomach, and even through the pain in his arm and fingers, he clenched the cover of the book in his hand until the material gave way and bent. “I couldn’t have been more than eight years old… We were hunted for our power – mine, to be specific. Or, at least what I would grow to be” he practically growled. “I want to find the ones who did it.”

“And you’re hoping to find a clue about it in there?” Yaeth followed attentively.

Raiel didn’t answer, but only kept reading through the titles. His silence was confirmation enough. Raiel felt tears threaten to come out again, but he didn’t want to cry. Although he was several years late, he wanted to do something for his parents, who had sacrificed themselves for him. Not just cry. He felt a pang of guilt tie itself into a knot in his throat.

“What if they only died because of me, Yaeth?” Raiel whispered.

“It’s not your fault, man!” his friend hurried to say. “You were a kid and could have done nothing to change anything.”

Raiel knew he was right, but somehow, he couldn’t convince the heavy guilt about that fact. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand when he felt a few tear drops appear. He turned his eyes back to the book, but soon felt Yaeth’s hand on his shoulder.

“You won’t find that kind of stuff in there…” There was conviction in his tone and Raiel sighed, closing his eyes.

“I know.” He let himself fall backwards onto the floor, ignoring the pain that coursed through his body when he hit the wooden floorboards. “But I don’t know what else to do.”

“Well, I know the library better than you, so maybe we could try to sniff out books that could reveal bits and pieces, at least.” Yaeth proposed with a gentle smile.

Raiel looked at his friend, surprised. “You’d do that?” he asked.

“Of course!” he exclaimed and jammed a thumb at his chest with a shit-eating grin. “I’ve been referred to as a genius, after all! It’s my sacred duty to help out those in need!”

Raiel couldn’t keep from chuckling at the obvious attempt to cheer him up. “Where the hell has that generosity been up until now?” he laughed, some of the pressure easing off his chest.

“Shut up.” his roommate grumbled, pouting.

Raiel laughed at his antics, before his eyes suddenly widened in realization. “Yaeth!” he hissed through his teeth. “There’s a note in my drawer! That strong guy I told you about had it! Can you get it for me?”

Yaeth stared at him with a frown, but got up and went to the drawer again, once going through its contents. He quickly found the note and skimmed through it, unsure of what he would find. The color drained from his face, just as what had happened to Raiel when first he read it. “Oh man. This is bad, dude!” he gasped. “Is this like some sort of secret organization or something?” he questioned.

“That’s what I want to know.” Raiel concurred with a weary sigh. “And who’s M?” he continued.

Yaeth looked at him and swallowed to wet his dry throat. “Uuh… Guess we’ll have to try to find out, huh…” he managed to utter, voice trembling. “This is a really bad idea…”

“… I know.” was the only thing Raiel could say.