Chapter 13

The titan was once more crushing through the dense underbrush and lush vegetation, flattening the forest floor underneath its massive feet. Again, its journey was a rush against time to locate its charge before he woke from his slumber. Only when the boy lay in the deeper stages of slumber could the giant feel enough of a connection to interact with him.

Just recently, however, it had noticed a slight development in the connection between the two, which now felt clearer than ever. It still wasn’t anything to brag about, but there was definite improvement. But not just their link had strengthened. The colossus was almost certain that a speck of clarity had returned to its mind, allowing its inhibited thoughts to flow just a bit more freely. As it thundered through the woods, it pondered on its role in the boy’s life and growth.

Their existences were clearly tied to each other in one way or the other. It just couldn’t properly recall how.

With their strengthened link, locating the boy a second time proved to be a much easier and quicker problem to solve. Where, before, there had been nothing but a hazy feeling of a presence, a mental thread now spanned between the two, connecting their beings.

With a direct path to its target, the titan upped the pace as its shadowy form shifted from distinctly humanoid to a beast, the feline body allowing for extreme bursts of speed, trees flying by in a green blur.

The behemoth felt the connection between them brighten gradually, like a kindling flame, and knew the boy was near. With closed eyes, it focused on the thread leading to the boy, and leapt, attaining several seconds of air time. Legs and torso muscles of titanic strength almost sending it clear of the towering tree tops. Its massive paws hit the ground with a hollow thump, sinking into the damp, dew covered earth. Before it lay the boy, exactly as he had last time they had met. And again, it nudged the boy’s cheek with its giant muzzle, wetting his face.

It took one great step back when the boy began to stir, wanting to avoid the same panicked scene as last time. The boy groaned and writhed in his last seconds of blissful sleep, stretching his back, legs, and arms. He rolled over onto his stomach, drawing a sharp breath in surprise when his front came into contact with the cool soil beneath him. He flew onto his knees, with his back to the waiting beast, leaves and dirt sticking to his torso and hips, falling off in clumps.

He froze, as he took in the landscape he suddenly found himself in. His lips seemed to be mouthing words, but no sound came out. He frantically threw darting glances around, finally noticing the colossus behind him. A surprised squeal escaped him, and he fell onto his backside, treading dirt awkwardly in an attempt to put distance between himself and the tenebrous apparition.

Then he froze again, an expression of recognition appearing on his face, his brain working in the highest gear. He opened his mouth, as if to speak, but it simply hung ajar in silence. Abruptly, Raiel shook his head vigorously.

“You… I’ve seen you before.” he managed to say, voice quivering.

The beast studied him as he sat there in the dewy morning grass. “Indeed… We have… met before.” It answered with slow speech. “Do you… remember?”

The boy looked slightly taken aback by the question but collected himself and answered. “I… I think so, yes.” He frowned in remembrance. “You were in a dream I had.” he said.

The giant paused. “… In a… way… that is true. In the… present… we may only speak when you are… in deep slumber…” Slowly, its form started to shift, flowing shapelessly until the being was once more humanoid.

“Why?” Raiel asked with puzzlement.

“Your waking mind is… restricted and… clouded.” it uttered in that same sluggish manner. “Only now… in slumber… is our connection uncut.”

“Then, who are you?” the boy asked the giant.

“As I’ve told you… my identity is… unclear to me.” It shifted on its feet before sitting down with a weary sigh, which blew a small hurricane in Raiel’s face, his hair billowing wildly in the wind. “However… in the past few days… I have felt… my mind unravel, if only slightly… This gladdens me…” It sat with its neck bent so it could watch the boy before it. The giant gazed at Raiel and made to caress the boy’s hair, but the boy flinched, and it paused, a mammoth palm hovering just above his head. Slowly, it withdrew its outstretched hand and settled into a sitting position with legs crossed.

The boy watched the being with careful caution, always ready to get up and take off. Not that he thought he would have much of a chance at anything, should the behemoth decide to devour him as a healthy alternative to their friendly conversation. “Why have I not been able to remember you before? The memory is so clear in my head now.” Raiel asked.

It pondered this question for what felt like almost a whole minute of silence. “I am not able to… say with certainty, that my word… is true… But… it is likely that it is… the same restrictions on your mind that… severs the link between us…” it responded with gravitas.

Raiel’s head was spinning with unanswered questions. “I don’t understand!” he groaned miserably. “I don’t understand anything!” The pent-up frustration and stress that had built up in days he had spent living in avoidance of the thoughts and uncertainties of his own existence and childhood suddenly came bubbling to the surface of his mind, threatening to boil over. Who were you when you were no one? Could he truly call himself human, when he felt so out of place in their midst?

Tears welled up in his eyes, running down his cheeks, drop after drop. It was almost too much to bear. And now, more than ever before, he wished he had turned around and retreated the moment he set foot outside his forest. Instead, he had followed his idiotic sense of wonder, wandering into the unknown like a child! Had he just stayed, he would have been none the wiser, and could have lived on in blissful ignorance. Like the river bringing with it sand and stone from afar, his journey had brought with it an enlightenment he was not sure if he desired.

Alas, it was too late to turn back. The only way forward was to gain further insight. He was stuck between knowing just enough to realize his own incomprehension and not knowing enough for it to be sufficient. “What’s wrong with my mind, then?... Tell me!” he implored desperately.

The giant, who had been watching him silently throughout, scratched the back of its head with a hand in an oddly human manner. When it touched its own body, the surfaces flowed together and became indistinguishable, the swirling darkness of its skin merging like smoke. It grumbled with contemplation, the sound akin to that of distant rolling thunder. “Your bond with… the rushing energy within you… and the aqueous life around you… has been… limited…” The titan explained patiently, wisps of warm and gentle light trailing its hands as it weaved them through the air in demonstration.

“Look… around you…” it whispered, its voice sounding as if it was echoing through innumerable cave tunnels. “The particles swim about radiantly…” it said, reaching out a hand and catching one of the tailed wisps between its thumb and index finger, before once again releasing it into the air.

“Look within yourself… It is everywhere, if only you notice….” The giant placed a finger on Raiel’s chest. He felt a mild warmth spread out from the touch, rapidly permeating his body entirely “All you must do… is see…” it finished with solemn gravity.

And he did. Much like muddy waters abruptly cleansed of all of that, which used to bemire its transparency, everything became clear. A veil pulled from his eyes. It became complete. Complete, as it should be. The sensation was unlike anything else, motes of life swirling around his head in an energetic performance. Their presence filled him with a sense of security and well-being, churning in the air like so many glowing embers.

He reached out, and the substance flocked to his fingertips, crawling along his joints and knuckles up to his elbow and then to the shoulder, until his entire body was bathed in their loving light. They were truly alive. Vibrant scintillae of energy that he could not believe he’d never noticed. He beckoned for the substance to gather on his head in a tall pile, like the funny top hats some of the upper-class humans sometimes wore, and he willed it to form letters and images in the air, drawing moving pictures of nature in front of his eyes.

He laughed heartily, full of joy. A real and wholly joyful laughter. Having almost forgotten it in the moment, Raiel looked up at the giant who, even through the almost impenetrable darkness that covered it, seemed to have a sorrowful expression on its face. Raiel’s own smile and sparkling eyes faltered at this.

“What’s wrong?” he asked with trepidation, afraid of what the answer would be.

“Boy… This…” the titan began and swept its hand through the glowing lights in a wide, arching gesture. “This is not… your world… It is a vision… A representation of what is in your mind… A rendition of the bond that exists between us.” Its tone was weighty and final.

“But…” Raiel didn’t have words to describe what he felt. Would it all be gone when he woke up? Was this beauty nothing but a fleeting scene? A brief repose from his confusion? “Will this all be gone when I wake up?” he asked, voice cracking.

“Not gone… Restricted…” the giant clarified. “Your senses are hindered… by something… I can feel it… You must overcome that hindrance… by your own power…”

“But won’t I forget about this meeting again? Like how I forgot the last one. How will I know what to do?” Raiel asked hopelessly, unwilling to let go of this experience.

“Perhaps, you will… However… even so… your being will yearn for it… It is your nature… This life… you see dancing around us: You are a part of it… And it is a part of you…” the behemoth reassured Raiel. And it did calm him.

“A part of… me…” he echoed with wonder. It was like his worries from before had been washed away with the revelation of this strange energy. All he had been frustrated and afraid seemed so insignificant. He didn’t want to return to that colorless and stale world he came from. But, so long as this was not forever lost, he could manage to wait for it, if he absolutely had to.

“And… as you become more aware of… the power within you… we will meet more often…” the giant finished

Raiel smiled. During the two times they’d met, he had grown fond of the gentle giant, who was so determined to help and guide him. Despite the brief time they had spent together and his initial terror.

He hoped they could get to know each other better with time, and that the big fellow would soon remember who it was. Was it all alone here? It had been present both times Raiel woke up. Maybe ‘wake up’ was not the right words to use, since he was apparently sleeping right now. But nonetheless, Raiel felt a closeness with the colossus that he couldn’t quite explain. Maybe it was the connection between them, it had spoken of.

“I feel light-headed.” Raiel suddenly said, putting a hand to his forehead, trying to keep his feet firmly planted on the ground when his knees threatened to buckle under his weight without warning.

The giant regarded him with an eye. “Yes… You are about to awaken… Farewell, for now… young one…”

Before he had a chance to reply, Raiel was pulled down through the earth by the grasp of an invisible hand, darkness rapidly creeping into his vision. Down and down he fell through the earth, as the vision of the forest, the sitting giant, and the swirling motes of energy shrank further and further away, until it was no larger than a blueberry. Then only as big as a grain of sand, almost invisible. Then finally, there was nothing left, and Raiel found himself floating in unending blackness.

Raiel opened his eyes with a start, as he sat up with a gasp. Cold sweat covered his naked body, running down his neck and back. His bed was damp with it. He looked around, his vision blurry. He touched his eyes and noticed that they were welling with tears. He had been crying, but he didn’t know why.

Yaeth slept soundly in his bed still, a light snore coming from him, as his chest rose and fell steadily in rhythm with his breathing.

Raiel felt flustered, and again, he could not say why. There were silhouettes of something in his mind, but it was very vague and unclear and didn’t tell him much about the state he was in. He put his feet on the cool floor, sitting on the edge of the bed, head slumped forward. For some reason, he felt drained, despite having slept for a while, judging by the position of the sun in the sky.

He’d spent the past four days working for Jack during the day and doing his own research and studying during his evenings off. With the change he’d earned on the side from his work, he’d also managed to consume an impressive amount of chocolate lathered cream puffs. He was now looking forward to his first day off, since he’d started.

Apparently, it was common to have two days free from school every week. Jack had told him that, since he was a student, it would be alright if his working schedule followed that same pattern. If there was something important or urgent to be done, he might be called in as replacement or an additional help, but that would be the exception. Jack had also been kind enough to give Raiel a small sum of money, so he could have at least a few coins to his name.

He had started on the history books, and what they’d told him had shaken him to his core. He had, since coming to the city, always assumed, that these weren’t the only humans, and correctly so. But, the sheer scale of human dispersal both impressed and terrified him deeply. The power of intelligence, organization, and numbers was evident.

And the wars they’d fought to establish this power. They filled him with dread. Blood had run thick and bubbly in the streets and on the fields of battle, warriors and innocents slaughtered as one. Humans would willingly end entire populations just to expand their land by a few kilometers or add a few extra coins to their already deep coffers. For Raiel, killing was a matter of life and death. But what was the purpose of those wars? Money? A sick and egotistical need for dominance while simultaneously crushing others underfoot?

Raiel could understand killing when necessary and establishing territories to protect one’s own life and ensure survival, but the events these records recounted were meaningless and beyond excessive.

One of the accounts from the books described the capture of a contingent of enemy soldiers. Nothing more than a group of what was called common footmen, likely forced into their role by an oppressive government. They’d been incapacitated and taken to a dungeon to be kept there for questioning, left starving in despair for days on end, not knowing whether they’d return alive to their homeland. Their identities and mission had been beaten out of them, one by one. Seven of the eleven men in the group had come from the same rural village, recruited by their country when war had started to stir, and, unknown to them, their village had been raided only hours after their capture. Somehow, probably through a network of local informants, by the author’s guess, their captors had figured out the connection between the seven men and their families.

Just when the soldiers thought their final day had come, a feast had instead been brought to the dungeon. They would be released and allowed to return home. The men had been ecstatic – they would live, and they would see their children grow up!

The cruel surprise that followed had shaken Raiel. In a long procession, the families of the seven men had entered. Children, wives, and parents alike had walked in, faces dirty with grime and tears, clothes torn, wrists and ankles scraped bloody by the manacles that held them fast. The men had known what was to happen, but they hoped they were wrong and begged for mercy for their families.

With the feast as just another heinous insult to the distressed soldier, their loved ones had been tortured and gutted before their eyes, the screams of mothers and children forever etched into their brains. It had gone on for hours, until not a single person was left. The soldiers had been broken. Broken beyond repair.

Sent home with nothing left to live for, the soldiers’ tale had been but a ploy to dissuade others from taking up arms. Only for that reason had it happened.

Perhaps, this was the nature of humans. A warring race. He just hoped he’d be able to avoid turning into something similar. But he knew the knowledge would provide him with an advantage in society, and in classrooms.

He stood up and felt for the energy inside him, as he’d started doing since he discovered it. It stirred in response. He went to his closet, which now contained a new pair of pants, two shirts, and two pairs of underwear. He had, with Eryna’s help, and due to their inferior quality, managed to hack the price down to something he could afford with his meagre budget, although the merchant hadn’t exactly been happy about it. Eryna had persistently insisted, that the clothes had only been worth what they paid, maybe even less, if one were to inspect the material and craftmanship more closely. The merchant had eventually given up on the matter, relenting and settling on the lowered price, thus proving Eryna a proficient haggler. Raiel had walked away with a smile and a pocket that still held a bit of change.

He threw on one of the shirts and the pair of pants and hefted the backpack with the books and climbed out of the window, careful not to wake Yaeth, who had been adamant about sleeping in on his days off. The jump to the lone branch outside the window had become routine, and even Yaeth had calmed down about it, resorting only to quiet, but poorly veiled insults to Raiel’s intelligence when he witnessed the death-defying leap. Raiel dropped from branch to branch in fluid succession, his feet firmly planted on the ground only a few seconds later.

He headed out, intent on gobbling up at least two whole plates of the delicious, and thankfully free food that the canteen offered on a daily basis. As he walked, his weariness faded with each step, until only the growling hunger remained, and he increased his speed to a light jog, looking forward to the meal.

The canteen was positively packed, and all tables were occupied by large and small groups of loud and merry students, energized by the prospect of two days off. Raiel made his way into the vast room, weaving deftly through the crowd and coming to a halt at the end of a long queue for the counter where the meals were distributed by four quick employees, who were sweating right next to a busy kitchen.

The distribution was effective, and only a couple of minutes later, he had a bulging tray of mashed potatoes, beef patties with salt and melted butter, along with a bowl of fresh salad and a large glass of water. He’d have liked to have brought the food outside to eat, but the staff there had been unwaveringly clear on their policy on disappearing cutlery, plates, and trays. They didn’t trust him to bother bringing it back, as the previous actions of other students had showed the general inability to complete such a simple task.

He woefully looked for a seat that wouldn’t place him in the middle of a heated argument or a playful fight. When he could find none, he opted for a chair on the corner of a table, and ate his food in silence, eyes downcast. He didn’t yet feel ready to casually join a group for a friendly chat and a talk about the girls everyone liked. That would hopefully come later – but not just yet.

He went up for seconds, taking only half a plate. He finished the portion standing and, after scraping it clean with his knife over the trashcan, left the canteen.

Outside, the sun shone brightly, bringing warmth. Raiel strolled down the street towards the woods where he liked to read. He was glad that it didn’t rain too often here during the warm season, or he wouldn’t have been able to enjoy his books out in the sun. Even though the book about woodcraft still lay unread in the bottom of the bag, he didn’t feel like starting on that today.

Walking up to his dorm building, instead of entering through the main doors, he turned and went around and across the lawn behind the stone property. A calm settled over him as he made it past the fringe of the woods. He traveled the five minutes to his new favorite spot at a run, jumping a gurgling stream without breaking stride. As Raiel broke through the last foliage, the great old oak came into view, and a smile crept onto his face. He practically leapt towards it, sitting with his back against the trunk, as always. This was where he currently felt most comfortable, the lush, green vegetation and gentle light streaming through the canopy above warming his heart, reminding him of his roots in the wild.

He retrieved a single cream puff from his backpack, setting it aside for later, on the ground next to him, as he settled into a pleasant sitting position, leaning back on the oak. With closed eyes, the trancelike state of stillness settled quickly, plunging him into his own mind. His corporeal body was left there in the clearing, resting on the moss bed by the tree, as his consciousness took a mental deep dive. Since the evening a few days ago, he’d discovered that his meditation, by pushing aside physical senses, allowed for increased sensitivity to the mysterious energies the books had described so vaguely.

He let his mind go, and fell even deeper into trance.