《Berzerker》Chapter 11 - Awake and Afraid

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Smoke and earthy musk perverted her senses.

The cold cobblestones at her back provided some small comfort. A safeguard of solid earth, grounding her in impregnable stone, while she built up her nerve.

She opened her eyes and then immediately closed them. A terror in a midnight robe, at the end of a long chamber, froze her breath. Just fifty yards away, an oppressive weight emanated from its empty hood. Goosebumps prickled her skin. Fear battled depression and despair for dominance in her chest, making even the slightest movement impossible. Certainty that every shiver brought the monster closer washed over her.

Unable to withstand the terror of the unknown, she jerked her eyes back open.

Some primordial instinct gripped her heart; an age-old balance of predator and prey. Yet it remained in the same place, unmoving. The realization it wasn’t actively pursuing her nearly brought tears of relief to her eyes, and she had to stifle a sniffle.

She made herself focus on what was around her.

She was in a throne room lost to time. Mold stained the mortar between the cobblestones. Cracks ran along the walls. Dim light and the scent of smoke wafted from rows of torches along the wall, each flickering with orange fire. Occasional pops threw embers into the air to sputter their last heat and die.

Where the hell was she?

Remaining perfectly still, she hoped against hope that the menace at the end of the room would ignore her presence. The creature didn’t acknowledge her, choosing to recline on its dark throne, occasionally sipping a glass of the reddest wine she had ever seen.

What seemed like hours passed, her frazzled nerves numbing in the floods of adrenaline tearing through her body. Exhausted, and too worn out to continue in fear, she began to build her courage. With just a slight turn of her head, she saw she was just outside a small alcove on the side of the long room. She’d been too afraid to move to notice her nearby source of respite. When she had opened her eyes, only that creature filled her sight.

First her arm. If she could get her arm a little closer, she might be able to drag herself into the alcove. She focused on her breath remaining steady and even, sliding her body across the cobble inch by inch to keep it quiet. Now the other arm, the progress toward safety bringing a flood of hope to her chest.

What a traitor hope was.

A small scuff from her shoe stopped her heart. The sound seemed to echo across the large chamber, crushing that hope and stoking her anxiety with each passing moment. The reverberation of the echo bounced along the stone walls, unavoidable. Panic lent speed to her limbs, she had to move, now!

A great push propelled her the remaining few feet, letting her take shelter behind the alcove’s wall to hide.

Her heart pounded like a hammer in her ribcage as she sat there, sure that at any moment the creature would turn the corner, and come for her.

But it did not come.

Peeking around the corner, the beast remained on its throne, swirling the red liquid in its goblet lazily.

It hadn’t noticed her. She could breathe. Several moments of deep breaths worked to slow her rushing heart. Taking her head in her hands, she tried desperately to think.

What the hell was going on? How did she get here? Her head started to hurt with those questions, like bright lights burning into her memories. Shaking her head, she focused on the present. What was that thing? She knew she needed to stay away from it. That was obvious. The menace, the promise of violence exuding from its blackened robes nearly made her nauseous. Its maliciousness almost had a physical weight.

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She had to get away.

It was a great effort getting to her feet, her fear and adrenaline rendering her legs to jelly. Turning her head left and right, peering as far as she could see, she searched for a door, stairway, anything that could provide her with an escape. Nothing was visible from here.

Which meant she would have to leave the alcove to find a way out.

Which she couldn’t do without it seeing her.

She cursed under her breath, pushing back the anxiety seeking release.

She was lucky it hadn’t seen her earlier, and knew if she stepped into the room, it would undoubtedly see her then. There was nothing to hide behind. No furniture, or walls, or people. Just her and the black-robed figure of menace. And she wasn’t willing to take that risk.

Stopping herself just short of stamping her foot in frustration, she slid down the wall, holding herself and fighting back a sob.

***

Her head snapped up when a door slammed in the distance, and she shuffled deeper into the alcove. Several sets of footsteps approached. They appeared to be attendants of some sort. Men and women of various ages, carrying tall trays of fruits, vegetables, and meats.

The attendants conversed casually, beginning their tasks within the room with smiles and a carefree attitude.

She was fascinated by how the people worked in such proximity to the beast. Surely they saw the creature! Did they not realize their danger? She held her breath, expecting carnage to erupt at any moment. But the beast ignored them, its presence having no effect on the comings and goings of these brave attendants. It simply continued to occasionally sip its wine.

She dared to steal her first real look at the creature.

Black robes covered its entire body, outlining gaunt, emaciated shoulders. Its face was entirely obscured by its long hood. Only a void of emptiness resided there. Skeletal hands wreathed in taught, pallid flesh, caked in dried blood under its nails, swirled its wine cup. Behind its head, coming out of the neck, was a vertical halo encircled with spikes extending from the ring at the top and sides. Sickly dark carvings seemed to glow with evil intent on the points. It was fear given form, emanating menace and violence.

And it terrified her to her core.

She barely held in a scream when an unexpected, short, portly man turned the corner and almost ran directly into her. He jumped in surprise, letting out a little shriek and backed up a step or two, while she cowered back into the depths of the alcove.

They stared at each other for several moments, him looking at her expectantly, waiting, almost resigned.

When nothing happened after several moments, he tilted his head confused, and then looked toward the throne at the end of the room.

“No. Please,” she whispered, plaintively reaching out a hand.

Disbelief etched the man’s features. After a moment, he entered the alcove and opened what appeared to be some sort of food storage compartment she hadn’t noticed before. Taking a bottle of wine, along with several loaves of bread and cheese, the man placed them on a tray, effectively ignoring her, and left the alcove, spoils in hand. He headed for the throne, meeting up with the others carrying trays of their own.

Her lip ached from anxiously chewing it. The man refilled the creature’s cup and set the bread and cheese on a platter beside him. Her breath caught when the man looked back at her, his eyes piercing into hers across the distance.

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What seemed like hours passed. The man fastidiously did his job, and she almost swore he purposefully moved slow, but didn’t have anything to compare it with.

Eventually, all tasks complete among the attendants, they filed out nicely, bringing the tools of their trade and friendly smiles with them as they left.

A moment later, she heard a door shut somewhere out of sight.

And she was alone with the creature again.

***

For three days, she quietly scavenged from the food stores, remaining hidden in her alcove. It had become “her alcove” halfway through day two. She wracked her brain on how to escape this place, looking for other exits or perhaps a way to smuggle herself out with the attendants. But they were dressed very different. So much so, she would stand out painfully. No other forms of freedom presented themselves.

Twice a day, the people would return, feed the creature, and replace torches. So regularly that it became her method for telling time. Each visit a reminder she had failed to find a way out, leaving her once again alone with the beast.

The creature, for its part, did not leave the throne.

“Surely it has to leave sometime,” she’d originally thought. But as hours turned into days, she lost that hope.

She wanted to do something! Anything! There were simply too many factors against her. She didn’t know where she was, didn’t know how to get out, didn’t know what her beast of a “roommate” was, and wasn’t willing to test the oppressive horror it elicited in her bones whenever she looked upon it.

So, she waited for something to happen that might change the situation, exhausted from anxiety, fear, and mental fatigue.

The door in the distance opened and she started awake, prompting her to crawl into the shadows of the alcove as footsteps approached outside.

The now-familiar man turned the corner and, seeing her, stopped.

The man looked at her intently, no longer showing traces of uncertainty, but instead seeming to weigh a decision of some sort. He tossed his tray up on the counter next to the food store and placed both hands squarely on his hips, scowling.

“Well, by this point, either you’re bored beyond your wits, or there’s some new achievement for annoying me I ain’t heard of.”

His gravelly voice shocked her in its volume. Loud and booming, he spoke to her like a child making silly decisions. She winced.

“Please, please keep your voice down,” she begged.

The man waved his hands at her dismissively. “Why? Yer outside the agro zone. What do you care how loud I am?”

“Please,” she pleaded.

Regarding her like she was dense, he continued, “You got stones in your ears? Did’n I just tell you you’re outta the agro zone?”

She clearly did not understand.

Realization dawned on him.

“You don’t know what I’m talkin’ about, do you?” Looking her up and down, he seemed to be studying her like a bug under a magnifying glass. Approaching, he crouched down in front of her. “What level are you, lass?”

“Level?”

“Aye. What level, what class? How are ya specialized?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know what you mean.”

He gave her an appraising stare for another second, chewing on his lip. “Yup. That’s what I thought.” Turning back to his usual task of preparing food, he dutifully ignored her.

She hung her head after the strange man left, both relieved to still be hidden, and now fighting a sudden loneliness that came with his departure. The isolation of the last few days left its mark as she considered being trapped with just her fear again.

Consideration of the long hours to come consumed her. Despite being worried she might draw its attention, she checked to see if it was still there. The complete isolation made her chest tighten and her breath harder to catch. It was in the middle of this break down that the man returned.

“Well, come on then,” he stated flatly, empty tray in hand.

“Excuse me?” She replied, holding her chest. She closed her eyes against the anxiety attack. Instinctually, she went through familiar feeling exercises to relax her muscles and steady her breathing, which naturally fell into a rhythmic cadence.

“You heard me, girl. Now get up and come along.”

It took several moments for her to fully get everything under control. Rising, she looked toward the opening in the alcove, the man standing in the open gesturing for her to follow.

A surge of hope flooded her at the sight. Gratefulness buoyed her feet, until she took her first step out and saw the creature again, reflexively stepping back.

The man followed her gaze and nodded.

“Yea, prolly don’t have the resistances, do you? Alrigh’, listen to me. Oy! I said, listen to me, girl. Look here at me, not there.” He snapped his fingers at her, dragging her eyes back to him. “Good. You stay on this side of the room, don’t do anything foolish, and he won’t bother you none. You hear me?”

Was this guy serious?

Blowing out a sigh, he gestured to her. “Look, ain’t no way ta prove it to you. Think it through, are you gonna stay in there forever?”

She hated that her first thought was a resounding “yes.” That she would rather grow old and die in this alcove than face that creature. Logically, she knew that wasn’t an option.

Slowly, ever so slowly, she crept forward, bringing herself out, eyes locked on the apparition the whole while. She found it was easier if she didn’t look directly at it.

For its part, it didn’t move except to take another swallow of wine.

Despite its face being a void of darkness, its gaze burned into her, and spread an icy fire through her bones. It mercilessly held her with a mere look, seeming to shrink the world, bringing her closer and closer. Tears leaked from her eyes in a vain attempt to tear her sight away, her breath starting to come in fits again. But she was held by some unseen force, powerless to fight it.

Fingers snapped inches from her face.

“Did’n I say don’t do anything stupid? Do you think lookin’ him in the eyes is the picture of brilliance? By breezeways, girl, you got no sense.”

The man moved in the direction he always did, gesturing with his head for her to follow.

She did. Focusing on the man’s back instead of the horror behind her.

He led her through a hidden side door into what was clearly some sort of servants’ area. Joyful noise assaulted her. A long narrow hallway of doors stretched in front of her, filled with people coming and going. She watched in amazement as they laughed and smiled, jeering each other and merrily going about their day as if there wasn’t a horrific monster on the other side of the door behind her.

The wholesome feel after the terror, the noise after the quiet, was almost like whiplash. Her head spun between the laughter and smiles on each side.

She was in a daze. The man greeted others, laughing at this remark or shaking his finger good-naturedly at that one. Soon she was seated at a table, surrounded by more joyous revelry. Platters of food were handed back and forth as they began to eat a delicious-smelling meal. They piled their plates high with meats, cheeses, vegetables soaked in butter, potatoes, and delicious pastries.

A time or two, she noticed someone giving her a quizzical look. A few shrewd, reassuring glances from the man, whom she learned was called Doran, and they returned to their meals.

And the food’s taste… oh good lord, the taste! Who knew food could be so rich? Flavors exploded in her mouth. Days of bread and cheese were enough to survive, but she hadn’t realized how hungry she was until she smelled these delicacies.

She feasted until she could have burst.

Too soon, she was done and sat stuffed and content. Around her, the chatter quieted as people settled.

“Thank you so much for your hospitality. I really can’t tell you how much I appreciate the food and the help in,” she gestured, “there.”

“T’was our pleasure,” Doran replied with a smile. “What brings you here anyway?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know,” she said honestly.

“I figured it was something like that. Mind erase curse maybe. Well, that, I suppose, brings us the real question at hand. What are ya gonna do now?”

The whole room grew quieter, eyes politely trying not to stare while they eavesdropped. She couldn’t shake the feeling they expected something from her. As if they knew something was coming, whatever it was, but were waiting for her to get it started. For the life of her, she didn’t know what they expected, and the sensation made her feel both guilty and apprehensive. So, she replied honestly, “I don’t know. Is it far to like, a town or something? I don’t really know where to start here, but maybe in town I could find someone I know?”

The room bustled with a bit of chatter before Doran tamped it down with his hand. “Yes. Yes, it is. At least a few days on a solid mount. On foot, perhaps a few weeks. And the land ain’t exactly hills of wildflowers. Can be dangerous.”

She nodded, understanding. “I see.” She bit her lip. Not knowing where she was nor where she would be going, it became bitterly clear there was nowhere for her to go. Even though the beast was still in the other room, and she didn’t really understand what was happening here, these people seemed welcoming, at least. Doran said it was dangerous, and his fatherly demeanor and warm smile helped her to trust his judgment. Leaving seemed unwise. She was so tired. Hardly able to think. A good night’s rest sounded like the smartest decision.

“Would you mind if I stayed with you all for the evening?”

Surprise etched Doran’s face. “With us? Ya want to stay with us?”

She nodded.

“And what, help with the chores? Take care of ol’ grumpy pants in there?” He gestured towards the hall.

“If I can help, I would be happy to do so in exchange for a place to stay. I’m afraid here is as good as anywhere for me at the moment, and at least here I know you all.”

Doran sat back in his chair, placing his hands on his belly, and studied her for a moment. Then, he looked around the table, meeting gazes with a few of the others. Something must have passed between them, though she couldn’t tell what.

Doran grunted before continuing. “There won’t be any going easy on ya, ya hear? If you wanna spend your game time doin’ chores, well, I won’t stop ya. We can’t have ya work next ta grumpy for obvious reasons, but ya can certainly carry torches.”

She nodded emphatically. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

A genuine smile broke out on Doran’s face. “I’m not sure what game ya playing, girl, but I’m excited to see where it goes.”

She laughed briefly. “Oh, I’m not playing a game, Doran.”

She realized that for the first time in days, she finally felt safe.

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