Following the dungeon master that carried his own personal keys of freedom, Jake and Sasha wove their way through the common section of Manasford and into the Clan / Important peoples’ area. After bitching and moaning half the morning about why he had to follow her, Jake was told along with the smile of a real estate agent to check his status.

> Hmm? Why would this walking Dementor of life sucking recommend that... statusofwhythefuckingshitdoesithavetobeme!! Why is there a little black dagger next to my sub-profession? Why do I have a sub-profession? And why the fuck for all that is holy is she my mentor!??

Watching Jakes face change from perplexed to curious to horrified to downright suicidal out of the corner of her eye gave Sasha a tingle that she knew would make the day better. Realizing the slightly increased blood flow to Mephisto the mentor and attributing the blush as a huge warning sign, Jake made an about turn ready to sprint back into the maw of the recently deceased lizard. Having no forward momentum after several seconds Jake realized that physics wasn’t working and that there was a very small white hand holding the hem of his waist.

“And pray tell where you think you’re going my little Padawan?”

> Allah, Buddha, God, Jesus, Chuck Norris, any holy being please grant me salvation and rescue from this unholy abomination!!

…

In another dimension one bearded and buff 70-year-old man sneezed suddenly, realizing that he shouldn’t be getting a cold and that someone was probably praising him. Chuck went back to reading the script of another Expendables movie.

…

“Why are you praying? Thanking your lucky stars that you became my apprentice? Get up or people will think I’m weird by association and that is not ideal in this part of Manasford.”

Hearing the command of his section chief Jake rose from his knees in a perfect rendition of Frankenstein’s monster and proceeded to waddle along in the very small shadow of Sasha.

20 mins after the public impromptu play saw Jake looking up at a very out of place Clan building. How did he know it was a Clan building? Well the large crest with a black dagger on it attached to the front door was a bit of a giveaway but what really shouted, “Look at me, I’m different” was the fact that the entire 10 story complex (too small to call a skyscraper) was painted completely black, perfectly rectangular and had black tinted windows evenly distributed around each side and level.

> Did a 3-year-old design this? Black on black on black version of a stretched-out Rubik’s Cube!

Taking the mouth open incredulous look as wonder, Sasha felt a little proud and boasted to her newly acquired source of pleas… partner.

“Pretty awesome, right? Welcome to your new home, The Shadow Clan headquarters or simply HQ. Surprise! That’s what the dagger symbolizes and we are pretty much the elite rouge group present in this place. Each of the 10 floors is restricted depending on your class. G for ground floor and SSS for the top floor. Although we don’t currently have a member of that class so it’s used solely as the guild leader’s office as he can go on any level. You on the other hand are only allowed to go as his as your master and as such should feel eternal gratitude to me as you can access the 7th floor belonging to A class members.”

Looking as smug as Jeremy Clarkson when he wins a race on Top Gear, Sasha puffed out her very small chest and awaited the words of praise and awe she expected from her toy.

> Note to self: That’s why she backhands like superman, Ugh. Why did I have to think that I was going to be better than those idiots on Naked and Afraid? I could have avoided all this if only I had stayed in that stupid excuse for a fantasy stadium for another night! Why do I have to be so awesome and ahead of the idiot masses!?

Seeing Jake openly weep before her made Sasha glow with pride at how her mentee idolized her. If only she truly knew how much Jake lamented his own amazeability… yes trademarking of that word was purchased for himself... then she truly would have nut-cracked him into infertility!