Chapter 3: Still Alive

Cling, cling, cling…

My ears caught the echoes of clattering pieces of steel.

The clunky sounds reverberated along with my heartbeats. A rush of swirling emotion accompanied the tingling metallic sounds. The series of chaotic sensations stumped me. My teeth chattered as the raw emotions exploded forth akin to a bunch of TNTs. There was no mercy.

The feelings of emptiness, loss, hate, anger… and fear invaded all of my senses. The tremors rushed in with no words of warning. Akin to a burglar, it entered my soul, giving me an unexplainable feeling of shock, loss, and anxiety.

A few moments ago I was feeling perfect and now this?!

It took me an hour to relax and calm down. I continued squirming because of the foreign emotions entering me. It’s suffocating. Am I suffering from a panic attack? My body shuddered, my teeth rattled.

Or is this severe depression before my death?!

I tried to open my eyes. Yet, total darkness welcomed me. Even a brief glimpse of light scampered away from my sight. It was freezing and damp. Is this place hell or is this heaven? Perhaps I'm still…

Alive.

My ears rang. I shook my head. Yet, I swayed left and right, a feeling of dizziness ensued, assaulting my senses. The constant exposure to freezing snow might have been the cause. My sense of balance jeopardized. My lower limbs had also turned jelly.

I felt weak.

The cold snow of Antarctica had robbed me of my senses. As of now, I know that my ears and eyes are not functioning the way they should be. I wanted to try talking, but I couldn't even open my mouth. What's wrong with me?

Anyway, what's this place?

When did I turn blind?

I tried raising my left hand, trying to touch my eyes, hoping that it was still in one piece.

As I lifted my left hand, my right hand followed suit. My wrists hurt. My hands slumped to the ground before it could even reach my eyes. It was excruciating. My lips shifted into a scowl after realizing that I couldn’t even do such a menial task.

Aside from that, I felt as vulnerable as a bed-bound patient. A streak of cold sweat dripped on my forehead, free-falling. Even each full breath made me wince as if I was doing hard labor.

What the hell is this thing on my hands?

My eyes felt like it was the epicenter of darkness. I heard that extreme cold could kill the nerves of our body. The cold snow of Antarctica might have frozen the blood flow in my eyes, making me… blind.

That's all folks, my theory on how I became blind. If true, the nerves in my eyes were already as good as dead. I'll live as a blind lady for a few more years. Then, die.

Weirdly, I am not even bothered. I don't even feel bad about it.

Rather, what's bothered me the most was the thing on my hands. I couldn't help but grimace. I tried shaking the thing off while enduring the agony. Yet, nothing came out of it.

My wrists felt heavy and painful.

Is it snow? Am I trapped?

I touched the ground with my two hands, trying to imagine where I was. Yup, definitely not a snowy place. Is this place the hospital? Or I'm still in the middle of nowhere.

I gasped.

The little movement I made was enough for me to realize my current situation.

Did I break a bone somewhere?

A tingling sensation of weakness and pain crept, piercing straight to the marrows. I huffed as my entire body convulsed. I winced. Rolling on the ground as I endured the sting. Is it an open wound? Internal bleeding?

Am I going to die?

I took a deep breath, allowing the beads of cold sweat to drip in abandon. I thought of the happy times, stopping myself from panicking. I must control my emotions first. But where am I?

I grabbed what I could grab, making sense of where I am once again. Yet, it proved useless. Nothing came out of it.

Doctor?! Anyone? If I am in the hospital, I believe somebody would have already noticed me. My epileptic squirming, if I am in a hospital, would be enough to bring any medical practitioner into a panic.

Pain gripped me with every move I make. I swung my two hands, raised my legs, shrugged my shoulders. Still, to no avail.

Still, I must do this to confirm a few things. All of this supposedly simple movement made me scowl in agony. After a few minutes, I concluded something new.

This place is not a hospital.

Realizing this, my mood swung from one place to another. I'm bitter.

Hell!? I want some mango-banana chocolate flavor ice cream now!

…

How long have I been staying here?

A day?

Two days?

Or five days?

From time to time, I would lose my consciousness because of extreme pain and tiredness.

I could also feel my stomach rebelling in hunger.

I wonder how the hell did I even survive without water and food. Did I become a kind of undying?

Still, I endured.

I tried remembering my travels. Ah, the good old times.

Maybe somebody will come and save me from this place.

Snow White had her prince.

Beast had Belle.

Believing makes miracles might happen, but please don’t let it be Beast.

Why not, right? I also have the freedom to choose. Fantasizing was for everyone, regardless of age or gender. I refuse to go along with the world's stereotypes.

I could feel my lips curling up to form a smile.

I wriggled and skittered around.

I am getting curious. Well, it's important to get some clues about this place. I might be blind, but I could still feel. My ears had also stopped ringing. My balance was also okay now.

For now, at least I know that this place isn't the icy part of Antarctica.

It wasn't extremely cold. At most, it's moist and eerie. It was like my flat.

All I could think of now was 'Did someone kidnap me?!' Do kidnappers even exist in Antarctica? Hell, do seals and penguins kidnap humans now? Are they going to conquer the world?

What a terrible plot! I must report this to the authorities.

…

The warm air blew, replacing the cool stale air. Another day had passed. How did I know? I don't know how to explain it, but it's called a wild guess, theorizing, speculation, or conjecture. I did it a lot during my career stint. It's a very important skill set if you're working in a chaotic market with a lot of competition.

In the business world, it’s called instinct. In the wilds, it’s fight or flight.

Anyway, I never thought that crawling around would be useful. Thanks to that, I found a very warm place. I knew what it was. The warm feeling made me smile in my heart. After a few days of talking with myself in my mind, the penetrating heat was enough to make me glad.

It was the warmth of the dazzling sun.

I also discovered that the chances that I'm already blind are high. No, it's confirmed. I confirmed it! After all, I couldn't even catch a blur of light until now. Not even with the rays and crowns of the sun.

…

Is this karma? Is destiny finally taking its revenge on me? I don't even remember anyone who died because of me. Did I bully anyone in this life?

Sigh...

I'm hungry. I'm thirsty. Although, the burning pain had already subsided. The problem now is… itchiness. The wounds are scabbing. It feels like there's an army of ants walking around my wounds. All I could do was scratch it against the poor wall.

Damn! It's very irritating and itchy!

…

Perhaps this is hell…

My eternal damnation?!

Who would punish me with this kind of torture?!

…

Hmmm, I am hearing something.

A downpour? Rain?

Am I getting excited from a mere rain now!?

I dragged myself, striving for the cool breeze brought by the rain.

I won't get the flu, right?

Well, at least I proved that I'm not in hell. There’s no rain in hell after all.

…

I think I already know what's bugging my hands.

It took quite a long time to realize that it's an iron cuff. The rusty smell of iron was one clue. In short, I'm in jail. But I remember nothing; I did nothing wrong to deserve this.

Am I now a captive of some terrorist organization? Perhaps this was their base.

A base in Antarctica? If so, I had stumbled into some big secret.

Meh! I don't think I heard any terrorist living in Antarctica.

Is there some kind of conspiracy here?

Did I see something that I shouldn't have?

Is this, perhaps, a new game? I'm losing my grasp on reason here. I need somebody to talk to. The big problem was I can't talk. After all, some unknown bastard had gagged me.

I wonder what's the 'status' of my….

Ding.

[Status Interface activating. Initializing. Running. Opening…]

What's that? Is someone there? I tried moving my body to make some noise.

Help! I need some help! I roared in my mind.

Yet, all I could produce was awkward and disturbing sounds laced with various meanings and innuendoes. The sounds I produced echoed back to my own two ears.

Well, it was words that even me at my peak would never understand.

Hmff. Hmff. Hmff.

"…"

Soon, glittering words flowed, flashed, and waltzed before my eyes. A shock of a lifetime prancing its way from a place unknown.

It was my first time encountering these weird wriggling characters. Yet, I could read it. What in the world was happening?

Well, I don't care that much. The only thing that filled my mind was…

Hell yeah! I'm not blind!