Chapter 8 Just Doing My Job

I had a few hours left to play before I would have to log out and I wanted to make full use of my time, I wanted to quest and earn some xp but in the city, the quests all led out into the wilds or other areas. I cursed Langshank for bringing me here and continued to walk towards the open garden market. I was just in time to see two carts collide and a bunch of potatoes fall to the ground. One of the drivers cursed and kept going, the other driver, a boy just stood there with a horrified expression. Some of the other players who had witnessed the accident laughed and walked on. I stopped and after a moment asked the boy, “Are you going to stand there and let these potatoes get ruined, or are you going to start picking them up?”

The boy looked at me and quickly said, “Yes sir,” and continued to stand there. Sighing out loud I bent down and began to pick up the spuds, it was not hard but there were a lot of them. The kid quickly bent down and began to help and we soon had the spuds back in the cart. The boy looked at me and said, “Thanks, I sure appreciate your help. That other guy he rammed his wheel into my cart and then he took off what a, a, I don’t know what he is.”

“An asshole is the term I would use,” I said and heard a quiet snicker, Wazzic clearly found this to be amusing. The boy flushed bright red and said, “Mam does not like us to use that kind of talk.” I heard another snicker and felt it was time to move on. “Good luck kid, keep your eyes on the road.” I continued to walk towards the market looking at all the items on display. There was the fruit I am familiar with as well as other items I did not recognize. Booths were set up that sold all kind of items, they were located on the outer parameter of the market, then going inwards were stalls selling food, a sort of open-air restaurant with many different things being offered. The middle of the square was loaded with tables that were loaded with anything that could be grown or pickled or canned.

It was impressive and I was looking forward to grabbing a bite to eat and looking at everything when I felt a soft touch on my shoulder. Turning around I saw a guard detachment waiting with a young lady leading them. It was she who had touched me, and while her touch had been gentle I saw that she was in full armor and seemed at ease leading the guards.

“Sir, are you Anon, the visitor to our realm, brought here by Sir Langshank?” The steel in her voice left no doubt that she knew who I was and that any funny business would not be considered funny. I was tempted to sigh again but I knew it would be a wasted effort so simply said, “Yes.”

Her voice was polite but it was not a question when she asked, “Would you come with us please?”

“Do I have a choice?” I asked. Seeing her shake her head confirmed my opinion that I was about to go somewhere I was not sure I wanted to go. Somehow, I had no choice in the matter, again. “Lead on Sarge,” I spoke with a little irony in my voice but it was lost on the lady. We set off and moving in a rather roundabout way made it to the palace. I think our route had more to do with avoiding the large crowds then getting to the palace fast. Eventually, we arrived and then I was given off to someone who looked a lot like a butler.

After an hour of waiting for the butler to return, he showed up and asked me to follow him. We ended up in a small meeting room, me, Langshank and the King. I immediately bent the knee and said, “Your majesty.” It was only a game but being in the presence of the King at level two was an achievement as far as I was concerned.

The King smiled and said, “Have a seat, Anon and tell me of your adventures so far in my Kingdom. I recalled my dream and decided to be cautious as I spoke, I began to tell of my adventures and with a little misdirection, I managed to avoid mentioning the tomb on the barren fields and the Vampire. Both the King and Langshank were very interested in my extensive map of the mine and the connected caves. After promising to copy it onto parchment Langshank started to speak.

“We have decided to offer you a position as a King's squire, it is a great honor and it will afford you the ability to receive special training and access to resources that will make your efforts to level much easier.”

As soon as he stopped speaking a message icon flashed and opening it I read,

You have been offered a position as a Kings squire, this will open up further story arcs and quests

Rewards will vary depending on your training and missions

I accepted, finally, I was getting somewhere. Both the King and Langshank looked pleased but wasted no time in swearing me in as a squire, the bonus was I would be paid two gold a month and have free room and board at the castle. Unfortunately, before I could arrange to have my belongings sent up to the castle both Langshank and I were leaving, heading out to meet the man that Langshank informed me would be my Governor.

When I pressed him for details all he would say was that squires had to start somewhere and not everyone would be leading a charge of knights into battle. We made our way down through passageways and tunnels finally emerging in a tavern located down from the castle. Making our way out of the cellar we went into a back room where a secretary was waiting, she nodded at Langshank sniffed at me and then said, “The master is waiting,” and pointed to the door. Entering the brightly lit office I was introduced to master Redpath. He was the man in charge of the tunnels Waterworks and sewage.

It actually was a pretty important post; any city produces large amounts of waste and that needs to be dealt with before sickness and filth can occur. The department of dirty works it was commonly called and the name had more than one meaning. This was the man who ran the King's spies, and assassins as well as other stuff I did not want to know about. He was to be my Governor.

Langshank spoke first, “Good to see you, Redpath, I have brought you a new recruit, this is Anon he is a newly made Kings squire and has been sent down to you for some training. Treat this one well, we have high hopes for him.” With that Langshank excused himself and I was alone with my Governor. Why the hell is he called my Governor, this is like a bad British detective novel. I guess my face must have revealed some of what I was thinking as Redpath looked at me and shook his head and said, “I can see that you have your doubts about being here, rest assured you will be trained to the limits of your abilities. For now, we will get you established at the training grounds, take this paper and go to the Watermill terrace, there you will find a large round stone water building called the Waterworks. Give this to the man at the front office and he will take care of the rest.”

It was clear I was dismissed, so standing up I did the only thing I could do, I thanked him and turned and left. The secretary gave another sniff at me as I walked by and it really irritated me. Stopping I spun around and walked to her desk, then leaning over I looked into her eyes and said, “I get the feeling you don’t like me and that is too bad for you look like a hell of a woman, perhaps in another world, we might have been friends.”

She looked startled and glanced wildly around but eventually looked back at me, which is when I grabbed her hand and kissed it. The shocked look on her face was priceless as was the red blush that instantly appeared. “Duty calls,” I whispered as I stood and made my way outside. Once outside I highlighted where I had to go on my map and proceeded down the road. What the hell was I thinking back there, I normally would never do anything like that, something was changing within me. My thoughts continued to run in circles until I found myself at the water building.

It must have been three hundred feet around with a small square office building fitted to the front of it. I walked over to the entrance and knocked twice then opened the door and let myself in. It was an open room with several desks in it. There was a central corridor that led to a door in the back wall. Other than that, it was surprisingly ordinary. One of the men writing something at a desk stood up and walked over to me, “Can I help you?” He asked. I held out the note I had received from Redpath, I had read it, nothing special, just an introduction and command to have me set up for training and evaluation as well as starting to do some quests.

Once the man read it, he looked at me and said, “Call me Meragol, so you are the latest recruit, welcome to the Dirty Deeds department.” He was looking closely at me to see if I would react, to see if I would recognize the double entendre he had just spoken or would I be ignorant of what he had really meant. Safety first, it was like a mantra to me in my detailing business, and it could be applied here also. If I acknowledged that I knew what this department really did there was a real chance I would not make it out of here. Playing dumb was the only response so I said, “I did not think to be a squire would mean I would be cleaning shit out of some tunnels.” I looked Meragol in the face as I said this, and saw a small smile appear.

“Well my son, we do a wee bit more than that, but consider this everyone has to start somewhere.” He began to laugh and then said, “Follow me, we will get you set up in your room, and then I will give you the 5-copper tour.” He led me through the door in the back and I found myself in a corridor that circled around the building. He showed me the dining hall and the library as well as the baths and towards the interior of the building the gyms and training halls. We climbed the stairs to the second floor and he gave me a key to my room.

“You can have the rest of the day off to collect your belongings and bring them here, I will have a schedule sent up to your room with details for your training which will begin tomorrow. Welcome to the department.” Meragol finished speaking and left, I turned and unlocked the door. The room was long and narrow with a desk and table at one end and a bed and end table at the other. A wardrobe was placed against the foot of the bed which gave the illusion of privacy.

I sat down at the desk it was simple and solid the wooden surface had several marks carved into it. I opened the desk drawers, finding ink and quills along with some parchment. There was a shelf built into the bed as a headboard which had several large candles on it. I noted three small window high up the wall that allowed enough light to enter during the day to read. The wardrobe was empty and the bed had a clean stack of sheets and two thick woolen blankets placed on it.

I made the bed and then explored a bit more. Finding my way to the dining hall I snagged a fresh bun with a hunk of cheese a bit of onion and some beef along with a larger mug of cold water. I sat down and began to eat, during my meal, several others showed up and grabbed some food. They all seemed cordial if not warm towards me. I had the feeling that they were all pretty busy with both physical and classroom training.

Lunch was simple and filling and the desire to have a nap hit me as soon as I stood up. I decided to grab my gear from the Inn first and then explore the library here. Making my way through the city I stopped at several parks and fountains, the city was remarkably well designed and laid out with many small parks and squares. Statues and fountains were to be found along most of the larger streets. As well, many outdoor markets were present. It seemed there were different markets each day, and I had the impression that they moved around the city.

Finally arriving at the Inn I went and grabbed my gear and then handed in the key, the barmaid, a perky redhead smiled at me and thanked me for staying with them. Giving me a wink she twirled away to take the food order from a group sitting at a table. For some reason, I was in a great mood, having a pretty lady smile and wink at you was contagious. I walked out of the Inn with a grin which lasted about half way home.

Approaching one of the crossroads, I could see the young boy I had helped out in the morning, he was being brutally beaten by an older man. I ran up to the old guy and grabbed his hand, he turned around and kicked me, Kick for 30 damage. At this point, I decided I was not interested in having him use me as a punching bag and I open hand slapped him on the face. At the same time, my invisible Imp Wazzic suddenly became visible as he fired off a fireball which hit the man about a second after my slap.

Slapping a man does two things, it humiliates him and it hurts him almost as much as punching him. Also, being hit on the face causes the average person to feel a little disorientated for a few seconds then add to that having a fireball impact in your tummy, it will knock you on your ass. That is what happened and when the man fell I reached out and grabbed him, then banged him against the wall for good measure. I had heard the approach of feet running at us and letting the man go I turned to find the same guard detachment that had led me to the palace earlier was now surrounding me. Wazzic had faded away at the sounds of the guards which made me happy, I did not want to explain him.

The girl in charge recognized me and holding up her hand asked, “What the hell are you doing, assaulting a free citizen of the realm? This is a serious offense and can lead to you being in a lot of trouble.”

Looking at the girl I pointed to the older man and said, “This miscreant was assaulting this boy, I merely stepped in to stop that ass from beating a child.”

The girl gave me a funny look and then walked over to the boy and began to ask him several questions, during which she would give me a look or two. Once she was done she made her way over to me and said, “His story corroborates with yours, so we will be hauling this fellow into the gaol (jail) for tonight.” Whistling at her men she picked two and they reached down and clamped chains on the guy then not being too gentle with him they frogmarched him up the street heading towards an unpleasant night.

Thinking I was free I waved at the girl, mistake number one and then tried to leave, mistake number two. She narrowed her eyes and bit her lip, which was remarkably attractive and then she spoke. “And where do you think you are going pumpkin, I will tell you where you are going, you are going with me till I find out a little more about you. Trouble seems to like you and I don’t like seeing trouble on my shift. You are coming with me to the watchtower and there my Governor will be having a word.”

I tried to say that I was expected at the Dirty Deeds department but she held up her hand to signify that our conversation was at an end. I was then surrounded by a bunch of burly guys all dressed in leather and chainmail then off we went marching to the watch tower. It did not take long to arrive and then governmental bureaucracy kicked in and we waited. When I say we I mean the girl and I, the others had all vanished, probably looking for coffee and donuts. I was feeling a little sour and out of sorts, this was not how I wanted to play the game.

The door finally opened and we walked in, after sitting down the girl went right to the point, explaining how she had escorted me to the palace earlier and then finding me brawling with a citizen. It sounded a little funny to hear her but she essentially told the truth. Her Governor looked at me and then asked. “Do you have anything to add?”

Thinking quickly, I decided to tell the truth and said, “Sir Langshank and the King met with me this morning, after which I was made a King’s squire and sent down to the department of Water and Sewage for some training.”

When I had mentioned both Langshank and the King, the girl had sucked in her breath and when I said I was now a squire her face started to turn red. This was interesting but the real show began when I mentioned where I had been sent for training. Her Governor suddenly paled and whispered, “The department of Dirty Deeds.” Turning to me he said, “You are free to go and do try to stay out of trouble,” then gesturing me off he pointed towards the doors.

I glanced down at the girl as she sat there and to my surprise, her face was now bright red with embarrassment. I gave her a smile that she did not return and let myself out. Taking my time, I strolled through the city until I arrived back at the Waterworks building, entering it I made my way through the office and then up to my room. Unpacking my view belongs took only a minute and then I headed downstairs to eat.