It happened. The zombie apocalypse. It’s not the Walking Dead zombie stuff where if you die at all, you come back. No, this was a special zombie outbreak.

The announcer voice that declared the end of the world was a good clue.

He, for the voice sounded masculine, sounded like he was the spokesperson for the Olympics or Ninja Warrior.

Really happy.

Every night he would speak out and rank the ‘Players’ that killed the most or did specific things. For some reason, I got a package on Day 0. I believe everyone got one since the device inside the package would connect with the announcer’s outbursts. If he talked about a specific person, their actions would be displayed on the screen. The device resembled a smart phone, but had no buttons.

My guess is that this device is solely for watching, although I could be wrong. I overstock on food and usually stay inside instead of walking around. My job was perfect since I don’t have to actually go anywhere. I just use my computer and headset to answer phone calls and help the person on the other end out.

I realized I have a lot of patience.

I didn’t have any good weapons on hand so I was reluctant to go outside. I must have spent 3 days in my house while waiting. I never learned how to portion my food and so ate through it.

What? I eat when I get nervous.

Finally, I couldn’t wait any longer. It’s not that I was hungry, it was that I was bored. I had always wanted such an event to happen. Zombies, being summoned to another world, stuck in a video game…

How could I not try it out? Kill zombies, survive, and look cool while doing it. These were the main things the MC of a zombie story would have.

Me? Nope. I’m a fatty. Well, not really…No, I am. It’s just that…There’s no excuse.

I tried to slowly circle around my neighborhood only to find limited zombies. They were the slow walking kind, so I wasn’t too worried. I had grabbed some kitchen knives and readied myself for a fight. I stepped out of my hiding spot to see another zombie walk over too. This one looked strange as it had a strange green ooze coming out of it.

A zombie Variant already? Dammit! Time to go back home. I know when I can’t win.

That’s when I kicked the can. At my feet, that is. I didn’t even notice it at first.

Oops, the zombies noticed me, and what the shit?! The green goo zombie is fast! Luckily, I was almost already home. As I ducked inside, the green goo zombie sliced at me, ripping my clothes.

I lock the door, surprised to see that the zombie steps back and walks off. Really? I guess he’s lazy, too. I check my shirt that’s in tatters and

Oh no…I am bleeding…Am I…going to turn? That would explain why the green goo zombie gave up. Is the green goo zombie something hell bent on turning others? I would believe it.

I took the time to call my brother who was still living with my mom to tell them I love them. Unfortunately, there was no answer. I slump down onto the floor as my cat begins to walk over to me, rubbing her tail in my face.

Right, I should leave so I don’t attack her. Oh who am I kidding? If it’s not me, then there will be someone else. People would hunt her to eat and zombies eat any living thing that walks near them.

I pour all the dry food into her bowl and begin to open up some cans of wet food for her.

Hehe, such an ironic name as Scratch. How fitting that her owner would die of one.

The device in my pocket began to buzz so I pulled it out. It was almost time for the daily review, huh. Oh you have got to be kidding me. I showed up on it. Apparently I won the most pathetic Player of the day award. What does that get me, someone who is probably going to die before getting laid? I put the device down on the ground next to me as I give Scratch more attention.

I begin to nod off as I pet Scratch as much as I can, knowing full well that this will be the last day of my life. Why not just kill myself? Because I’m a chicken. Why not just cut off the part that got scratched? That doesn’t work, as it showed up on YouTube before the website crashed.

The guy had a little scratch on his finger so he immediately cut it off. He still turned several hours later. Sad, right? And mine happened on my shoulder. Not much I can just cut off easily.

How about going out in a blaze of glory? I don’t have any weapons or tools to do such a thing. I don’t even have gas since I own an electric scooter. Stop making fun of me! It’s cheap. But useless, now. Although I downloaded a way to build several things to help generate power, I don’t have the materials or knowhow to fix them.

My claim to fame as the Most Pathetic Player…How lame…

I stop petting Scratch, who fell asleep in my lap, as I, too, began to fall into unconsciousness, blacking out from the pain of my cells dying and organs failing, unaware of the device’s beeping. Right before I fall asleep, never to awaken, I grab ahold of the device as the screen changes. That will be the last thing I remember while I died.