yes. yes i am.

https://youtu.be/yhPnM99MpNA

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drip. drip. drip.

a boy stood with his head cocked to the side, his hands stained red.

"goodbye, my king."

he turned, and walked down the carpet. the blue torches having long since gone out.

the boy walked through the archway that once held two grand doors, and gave a glancing look to the small man who stood, shaking, by his desk.

"w-w-w-w-what are you?"

the boy smiled. his reply shocked the man even more.

"your fired."

the man was confused. "what do you me-"

the man burst into flame, and was reduced to ash within a second.

the boy chuckled.

"did you get the joke?"

"your jokes are bad and you should feel bad."

"come on sis, why would you say that?"

the girl turned away. "because, your head is taking up the whole doorway, and if it doesn't shrink soon, you won't be able to leave the palace."

the boy sighed, then left the way he came.

he smiled as he walked away from the corpse of the frozen king.

"one down, two to go."

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the hare stood stock still, it's ears pricked and alert.

just a little closer...

it suddenly jumped away, and a loud cuss was heard throughout the forest.

"f***!"

"there went another one."

a loud smack was heard.

"ouch! what?! it's true!"

"thank you very much, captain obvious!"

"your very welcome."

another smack was heard.

"ow ow, okay, lets just head back to camp, alright?"

"haaa, fine. but if i hear another word out of you..."

the hunters companion held up his hands in a defensive gesture. "alright, alright, not another word."

the hunter nodded once, and they both went back to camp. when they arrived...

"hey! catch nothing again, huh?"

"still not catching anything?"

"wow, you really do suck at hunting."

the hunter grew gradually redder, until it seemed she exploded.

"f***ing f*** off you faggots! not another word or you get it!"

they gradually backed off, and left the red-faced hunter alone.

the camp was bustling, full of men and women with pointy ears, and holding bows of all kind. the people here were commonly referred to as 'wood people' or forest rangers. to those that knew them personally, they were called elves.

Keina, the hunter, walked up to her favorite tree, hopping up and taking a seat in a branch high up. her friend, grumbletan, as she called him, took a seat at the foot of said tree.

"so, keina, what are we gonna do now? even you must know you have no skill at hunting."

she whipped around. "i can shoot better than anyone! just ask anyone!"

he nodded. "sure, you can shoot, but it's the staying undetected that seems to kick you in the teeth."

she looked away. "just you wait. i'll show you how good i can hunt."

he shook his head. "look, i know my father has tasked me with looking after you, but can't you just do something that doesn't require looking after? i mean your a-"

she turned to him, the murder glare turned on full blast. "just finish that sentence, will you?"

he squeaked, and shook his head. "i was going to say your a free, independent woman who can do whatever she wishes, and is most definitely not a-"

the murder glare returned.

"okay! okay! jeez... anyway, what i was trying to say, is shouldn't you just do things like needlework or something?"

"f*** off."

grumbletan sighed, but told himself things could be worse. "i mean, she could be trying to conquer the world..."

she looked off into the distance. "conquer the world... okay."

he straightened. "wait, what do you mean by 'okay'?"

"we're doing this."

"no no no, what is 'this?"

"conquering the world. duh."

his face went white.

"no- i didn't mean- please don't make up your mind!"

"it's happening. get ready."

she hopped off the tree and began walking away.

"so, first i'll need..." she trailed off, mumbling to herself. grumbletan, as the former hunter-turned-conquering warlord called him, or Sebastian, as he was named, allowed himself a brief moment of hypocrisy.

"F***!"

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a blade, in the dark, alone for countless decades.

"finally... my master approaches."

if blades could smile, the sword would be leering.

"let's see how you will fare against me, eh?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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AN:well, thats a wrap.

Volume two everybody! yeah!

"..."

i forgot no one read this...

:(

anyway, getting serious now, i have some things to say. first off, three hundred thirty three.

what does this number mean?

IT'S HOW MANY FOLLOWERS I HAVE, B-

lets not go there. anyway, thanks a bunch, and stuff. i'm not good with mushy stuff, or thanking people. so, just be glad you got this.

*i'm sorry! please don't hurt me!*

shit. i keep typing swear words. f***. ah f***! shit!

sorry. ahem. anyway, what number was i on? oh well, it probably wasn't important.

nothing important at all.

totally unimportant.

goddamnit. i can't remember now. anyway, i'm probably gonna take a break, and write some other stuff. if a week goes by, and i still haven't written a new chapter, you can yell at me. also, if you want me to provide a link to the other stuff i'll be writing... well, there's a comment section. use it.

f*** i can't be polite. usually, i'm full of energy, but... anyway, heres the epilogue. yay.

i'm so lame...