I stayed in one place for a day. I was mostly crying, and sobbing, looking at my body. I had many thoughts in this time. I wondered about things such as “who I am?” or “why am I here?”. I didn’t know many things… I didn’t know anything.

I wondered about my body, and its ability to regenerate. It’s not normal. Living after the things that happened to me isn’t normal. Yeah, but doing those things to me…

“W-Why…” I said quietly, and scratched the ground with my fingers. I was still sitting in the same place, and the day was slowly ending.

I smelled my own piss, and blood. Covered in mud, and earth I didn’t want to move at all. I didn’t want to live… and yet I did.

I don’t want to move. I don’t want to see.

I looked at the sky, and moving clouds. It was snowing right now, and the trees looked beautiful. They were dancing in the moonlight. As if they didn’t know… They didn’t know what happened to me.

Why isn’t anyone comforting me? Why isn’t anyone telling me, that they love me? Why isn’t anyone telling me, that everything is going to be alright?

I scratched the ground once more, as I heard my own sobbing. I cried… Like a small child, that can’t find his mother. I cried looking around, but there wasn’t anyone who would hug me. No warmth, or light, just this night, and me.

My tears would freeze on my hands, as I wiped my face.

Why isn’t anyone coming for me? I… I don’t want to move… Please…

I slowly stood up, feeling my shaking legs. My hair covered my face, and I moved it away with my hand.

How long was I there? My hair is so long. So long, and thin… Like my body.

When I looked around the forest, they day has already ended, and I couldn’t see anything. Everything was covered in darkness, illuminated only a little by moon. The air was fresh… I couldn’t get enough of it.

Hungry…

I still felt hunger, even after eating for so long… Why? Why is it happening?

I moved slowly, thinking about every step. I would walk near the trees, because I leaned on them. My clothes were damaged, and full of holes. They couldn’t keep me warm…

I would cough from time to time. It was painful, but I needed to move.

I needed to…

What do I need to do? Why am I here?

I leaned against one of the trees, as I cried one more time. I felt the weakness in my legs, but I tried no to fall.

Heh… I wonder… Why?

I want to… kill… or do I? I wonder what I want. What even happened? It reminds me of a dream. Like a nightmare, that didn’t even happen. A bad thought, that came only to go away. Nothing happened. I’m alright.

I walked once again, but this time I didn’t need any support.

It’s weird to say that, but I even enjoyed it - looking around me. The scenery was somewhat nice, and reminded me of something… I don’t even know what. Something nice? I don’t know. I don’t remember, but I know it was important.

Important… Who am I?

I feel lost, and unimportant. It’s hard… It’s hard to even say what I really feel. There are so many things that I think about, that they mix with themselves. Am I sad, or am I angry? I want to cry, or do I want to scream?

Do I even feel anything?

There were less, and less trees as I moved among them. I was leaving the forest. When I walked for some more time, I finally saw some houses. There were a few of them, but I knew them well. I knew them all.

I wonder...

Am I sad, or am I angry? I want to cry, or do I want to scream?