The sun was just going over the horizon, staining the sky in an orange-purple hue. Pinpricks of starlight were beginning to peek through the curtain of night, yet I paid attention to none of it.

I lay on my makeshift bed of grass and straw pillows as I carefully looked over the rough paper in front of me. Bits of charcoal with small strips of paper wrapped around them as handles rolled in my hands. Both were necessary for the steps I needed to take. I was finally sitting down to do it. My first step to world domination… Well, not really.

I had been told before that I needed a way to express my thoughts. To not let anything build up to the point where I felt that there was no outlet for me. To where the only thoughts I ended up with were self-destructive ones.

Minamoto’s talk with me a couple days before had a small effect on me because of that. So, I had gone about the task to gather all the materials I needed. And even just planning this let me distract myself from the somber things around me. It was… calming in a way.

Because now, I had to make a list.

I had remembered somewhere that there were important parts to this. I couldn’t just write randomly. Well, I could, but it would be better if I could make it such that there was a logical progression to it.

It started off with a base need. A desire that I wanted. I was already stuck.

What did I want? If I could list everything, then this list might just become a Christmas wish-list. I needed to think of things that I could accomplish. The first thing that came up was my aspirations to be a hero; though, that can be generalized as the want to achieve recognition. Did I want to be famous? It was something at least.

I put it down as a desire to be a hero, in the end. Since I was writing in English, no one would know and I could be as cringe-inducing as I wanted.

Then, I went over my brief time in Niamizu. Where I had gone through fights with Oni, skeletons, giant centipedes, armies of yokai, and all without a six pack. It was as fantastical as it was terrifying. However, when all was said and done, I had lost more than I gained.

It forced me to remember that I woke up on Yasuda’s shoulder without seeing off the people who had helped me. Who had probably been my friends at one point. Could I even call them my friends when I hadn’t even shed a tear for them like Miyasaki and the rest of them?

Carefully, I put the line “make friends” right above where I wanted to become a hero.

Quickly moving on, I felt I needed one last goal because three was a good number to start with. This one was easy. I recognized my feeling of weakness and uselessness as the previous situation deteriorated further. Even when I desperately tried to pull out one strategy after another, everything was so easily handled by someone phenomenally more powerful than I. It was both sobering and enlightening.

Without a second thought, I put “get stronger” as the final goal.

Honestly, my goals weren’t that well put together. They were just a smattering of feelings and vague wants. So, that brought about the next step: the how. How was I going to go about achieving these goals?

To put it simply, I had no idea, either.

This world seemed so different compared to my previous one that any similarities were not even applicable to me. It was a halt to my momentum. Once again, I was lost, and I could almost feel myself slipping backwards.

“What’s this?” Red hair spilled over my shoulder, and hints of flowers blooming in spring wafted into my nose. I eased into the presence behind me, savoring it for a second.

“A list of my future goals…” I said deamily.

“Oh, why are you writing in your own language? I want to read it, too.” Soft, sweet notes flitted in between my ears, and I moved over to make room for the woman behind me to sit near. She smiled too wide to be human with needle-like teeth where her molars should be.

Instantly, I snapped out of the trace I was in. My back arched backwards, leaning away from the Queen who had just so easily put me into whatever mind control thingy she did. A bit of cold sweat trailed down my back at how simple it had been.

I had always been on the edge whenever I was around her ever since I saw her easily dealing with the Kappa. She had basically played with it like it was some toy. It couldn’t even resist her, so I had made sure to be on guard whenever I approached her, else I started spouting stupid things like how good her legs might be with fishnets.

“Why would I wear fishing equipment?” Her expression was ponderous as she asked.

I lost all color in my face. Oh god no! This only happens in movies or cheesy books! “I uh- its a fashion statement?”

“A Gaijin fashion?” She leaned in while she spoke, filling my nose with lavender and freshly washed clothes. What? “Tell me about it. Personally, I think my legs are good, but I am interested in what fashion Gaijins have. The only other Gaijin I get to talk to is a bitch who I'd rather strangle with a campfire.”

“I um-” I stuttered, backing off a bit. She blinked as she watched me before she pulled away.

“Wow, you can actually resist it a bit.” She looked at me oddly, but I refused to meet her eyes.

I choked down the humid night air, trying to stave off whatever influence she had on me. She must have seen my reaction as she backed off further.

“Sorry.” She said softly, and I could feel something warm trying to force its way through my ears. I hadn’t noticed it before, and I doubted I somehow got more resistant to it, so I figured she had done something. “My technique makes people want to tell me things; makes me more presentable and shit. Basically, whatever they desire. It’s a bitch at times since its hard to dampen down to certain levels. Normally, people below D-rank can’t even break my influence. But you… you can feel it, right?”

“I- maybe a bit.” I said stiffly. For some reason, I hadn’t expected the supposed Queen to talk so crudely. While I wasn’t on the lookout for some paragon of purity and poise, hearing her curse so easily was quite an odd experience for someone with the title of “Queen.”

She swiped her hair over her shoulders. Ruby lips pursed, and I had to redirect my eyes or else I feared I would get swept in her presence again. “I’ll try to dampen it around you. Consider it my thanks for helping my subjects. Not many kingdoms or empires care about people in the border regions, so things get pretty shitty out here.”

I thought back to the fifty fairly strong Samurai and Exorcists along with Minamoto and Nishimuro. They were strong, but they still were overwhelmed. If this situation happened anywhere else, I felt they had no chance. And considering Minamoto had said this had been happening in other places as well, I grew a little worried about just what was happening.

“Yeah… it got pretty shi- uh, bad.” I said, correcting myself. I had no idea why she was cursing in every sentence, but I didn’t want to risk offending royalty by getting carried away.

“You don’t need to hold back around me. I’m not some hardass. Or are you wondering about how I am talking? Shit, bitch, fuck, ass.” She laughed when I looked at her oddly. “When you get as strong as me, you can act however the fuck you want. I might be the Queen of Toshiki, but I am also Shizuka Kumiho. Make it to the big leagues and you can do it too.”

It made a surprising amount of sense for her, but I felt a little awkward as she continued to laugh. “Maybe when I get a bit stronger.”

“Is that written on your little list?” She asked, pointing a red-nailed finger at the paper in my hand. Charcoal was a horrible way to write especially when I didn’t have a flat surface, so everything turned out to be horribly scrawled English. I doubted native English speakers would recognize it.

“Yes.” Still, I answered easily. It wasn’t like I had any reason to hide it.

Clear bell chimes rang in my ears along with the chirps of morning doves, and it took a moment for me to realize Shizuka was just humming. That technique was rather crazy if it made everything about her attractive. “How strong do you want to be?”

She seemed to see my sluggish indecision. “You have no idea, do you?”

I shook my head as she chuckled lightly. With a silken voice, she continued. “Right now, I would say you’re pretty strong for an average human. It depends on how far you want to go.”

“I’m… pretty strong?”

“Yeah? Well, everyone below Life Rank D are all pretty much the same in comparison. There are highs and lows, but I would put you above average. What about it?” Shizuka asked back. “What? Are you telling me that someone with a class, two skills and unlocked Life Energy isn’t strong? What about that idiot you almost slapped the shit out of a couple nights ago?”

Red embarrassment dusted my cheeks as I remembered the incident. It was a sobering one that made me realize my position in the villager’s hearts despite everything I had done, and Shizuka seemed to really care about her subjects, but her seemingly taking my side on the matter felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest.

“Plus,” she added. “Minamoto said he gave you a technique talisman. It’s a pretty serious one since it can accomplish a sacrificial ceremony, so if you do decide to sell it later, tell me now so I can make note of it.”

My hand went to the rectangle near my chest. “...yeah. Okay.”

“Something is bothering you. Cough it up.” She said, and suddenly my eyes were drawn to her.

Immediately, I pinched my hand and turned away. “C- can you not do that?”

“I refuse, dumbass.” She cursed, moving close enough that I could almost feel her warm breath on my skin. “You helped my subjects when you didn’t have to. I can contain my technique around you, but I can also choose to help you.”

“Why me?” I squeaked out, leaning a bit too much into her presence.

“Because I want to." she said imperiously as if she didn't need any other reason. "Then, you can not be bothered by other things while you tell me about the clothes Gaijins normally wear. Like what types of Kimonos they have.”

I felt a bit of whiplash from her personality. It was hard not to get pulled into her pace when she spoke, and I felt that the second I mentioned anything about fashion, I would be in grave danger. In the end, I sighed in defeat.

I couldn’t beat her, nor could I out talk her. “I just don’t know if I should use this technique. It’s so… horrible. The things I have seen it do were just too much for me.”

“So, you’re terrified of it.” She said and I nodded timidly. “That’s a dumb reason.”

“Huh?”

“Clean your ears, little Gaijin, your reasoning is dumb.” She enunciated each word as if that would make it stick better. “I think I understand a little bit. You… you think too much. Who cares what you can do with the technique?”

I froze from her words. Perhaps it was just her super-persuasive aura, or just having a familiar conversation being brought up again, but this time it actually forced me to stop and listen. It was such a simple and cliché statement that I had dismissed it initially. So what if the technique was used for a horrible thing? Did that mean that I was going to do that as well?

My gaze traveled down to the list in my hands. It still only had three whole goals for the future on it, but I had been looking at things the wrong way this whole time. I had seemingly had end goals, yet there were no steps in between. Almost as if I had thought I could jump straight to the conclusion.

Carefully, I thought over my goals again. I wanted to make friends, so I set a small goal of… three. I wanted to be a hero, or at least make something of myself, but I had no idea how I could do that. It might become more apparent later, so the fact of the matter was that I needed to be stronger. Strong enough until I could do what I wanted like Shizuka. Strong enough to decide I could do something for the world around me like how Minamoto could find his happiness out here, helping people who might not even care for it.

I pulled out the technique talisman from my shirt and held it in my hand. It’s crystalline edges were smoother than I thought they would be, and the whole thing pulse off-beat from my own heart. Leisurely, I closed my hand around it.

Minamoto’s words rang in my head. Even if I made a mistake or tried my hardest, I needed to keep moving forwards. To stop was to risk drowning in my own thoughts again.

[Do you want to absorb technique talisman “Life-Death Soul Weaving (Grade 3)” into your soul slot?]

[Yes/No]

“Thanks, Shizuka.” I said, finally turning back to the redhead who just silently sat beside me. My eyes met hers finally, and I found amber irises with vertical pupils. They vaguely reminded me of fox eyes as I realized this was the first time I had looked her in the eyes.

She looked oddly confused when I did so. I hurriedly tore my gaze away when I felt her eyes start to change to something more human. Instead, I found myself looking up at the night sky. The twinkling stars shone from above, winking out of view every now and then.

“You know, I always wanted to know why the stars disappeared sometimes.” I said, feeling a bit happy at the small progress I was making. Who knew it took life-threatening situations in a different world to start?

“Stars?” Shizuka asked back, and suddenly, a pit of anxiety filled me. I saw her head turn up to the sky above us. “Are you talking about those?”

“Yeah,” I said shakily. Perhaps we just had different names for them? I had always been known for my boundless optimism… “We uh, Gaijins, call them stars. They add a bit of light to the sky, you know.”

Shizuka brought a hand to her mouth, laughing quietly. “This is the first time I heard someone call the Inverse Ocean a sky. Maybe it is a bit different for different Gaijins. Though, I want to know what stars are.”

It took a while for me to recompose myself. I just stared up into the sky, or the Inverse Ocean, above, watching the moon ripple every now and then. Every time those pinpricks of light in the sky disappeared I would imagine an outline of some massive serpent coiling underneath, and suddenly, all the unease made sense.

I was underwater.

There were many questions pertaining to what the fuck and how the fuck were concerned based on that implication. However, I held back my tongue on how the sun and moon, wind and weather were concerned. If I had to make a wild guess, it would probably be somehow related to Life Energy.

Idly, I pressed [yes] and had a technique before trying to figure out how to explain how supermassive, balls of hot gas were pretty to a woman who could make me spill all my deepest, darkest secrets so long as we made eye contact. I felt like I did a good job hiding just how much I was freaking out.