So this month is really not... It's just not going well.

I moved into a new house with family and is so small and there's no privacy. I count myself lucky that my family is so accepting and understanding, but in a lot of ways this place can be toxic. Real life is stomping me into the curb.

Two Thursdays ago when I was supposed to publish that chapter... Our internet got cut off. Our service kept telling us it would be back in two days, then three, then five... first at 8am then at 2pm, then 6pm, then 8pm.... Honestly. Nobody has any idea what is going on over there. And Now. It is finally back... and I just feel so defeated.

The chapter isn't even finished. I have the outline but it is missing a few transitions and editing. The entire time the internet was out, all my drafts were here on royal road. Trying to do it on my phone using my limited data was giving me an ulcer... And now I wonder how I can even get back into it. Every day I push it further, saying "Oh, I'll do it tomorrow" or "I have time after I do that thing."

I know there are some people who look forward to this novel. It's taken over a year to get 90 followers, which seems like a high number considering where I started. There are days I am proud. Then there are days that I am bitter. Right now I just feel lost. I don't know what happens next and I don't have the will to write right now. I most definitely want to continue, but I can't figure out how.

So. I'm going to put the book on hiatus.

The chapters I give you are so sporadic it is unfair. I figure that those of you who actually stick around to read deserve to know.

The break may be short, or long, but I will definitely continue writing. It brings me joy. As does making art for the book. I will come back when I have something substantial to show, but right now I'm too divided and worried. I need to focus on my Art and how the f*ck I'm going to make a living because I can't continue this lifestyle.

Thank you so much for sticking around.

You have no idea how much your support means to me.

This isn't over.

I will be back.

I promise.