He enacted a barbaric ritual today involving a dull sword and the corpse of a crypt goblin. It...does not bear mentioning.

--Excerpt from Chaeli’s scout report

“Ha!” a penguin fell out of the ceiling and bounced off of the massive bulk of the fallen Mrawll Warden like a trampoline. “I finally beat Nick!”

Quaesitor Mortem

Level: 12

???

Chilly raised a brow at the penguin as it fell to the floor and began to roll away.

“Oh, hi Chilly, see you later!” Quaesitor Mortem said, its voice muffled periodically as its beak got smooshed into the floor.

“See you later Mr. Mortem!” Chilly called after the penguin.

“Thanks for the chapter!” the penguin said as it rounded the far corner and disappeared.

Chilly scratched the back of his head as he stared after the penguin cosplaying as a ball. Then he turned his attention to the massive corpse sprawled at his feet. The Mrawll hadn’t really been a danger. Sure it had dealt more than a hundred damage per hit, but the time between hits had been more than long enough for his life to regenerate fully. It seemed that no single level four enemy that he had met as of yet could outpace his regeneration. The Bone Mage from the Undead Parish only succeeded with the help of several level three Bone Turrets, and even the Mrawll Warden couldn’t do it with its massive hits.

What was concerning was that he had taken damage even though he hadn't been hit by the club. It smelled suspiciously like an area of effect attack, which would compute considering the other game-like elements, but he should really verify. There were other less pleasant possibilities. Like for example if the attack hit him no matter how far away he was. Unlikely but no less terrifying.

He needed to find another Mrawll Warden who was all alone and test out the limits.

Chilly made a token effort to see if the Mrawll had dropped an essence, but it was simply too difficult given all the mass. With the skeletons and the ghouls it was relatively simple since most of the corpses would turn to dust after their demise. Here though, only the outermost layer of flesh had been charred, which certainly gave off a putrid aroma, but did much to hide the presence of any essences.

Chilly circled around the corpse and moved into the passageway on the far side of the room. After several steps Chilly paused at a T-intersection. Wary of enemies just around the corner, Chilly poked the minimum amount of his head necessary to see around the corner.

To the left there was a large circular room which looked kind of like a dining hall from hell. Several stone tables with manacles embedded into their surface filled the main area. The tables were clear with not a single scrap of food visible anywhere.

Several Mrawll stalked silently around the room.

Mrawll Warden

Level: 5

Life: 420

Mrawll Keeper (x2)

Level: 3,3

Mrawll Mage (x2)

Level: 3,4

The Warden’s were similar to the one that he had defeated earlier. Hulking brutes with chains covering their chest, a club in their right hand and heavy stitches marring the surface of their skin.

The Keepers were slightly more horrifying. They were tall humanoids with long spindly limbs that seemed more bone than flesh. Taught skin struggled valiantly to cover bones that seemed to have sharp edges poking out of seemingly random locations. A vicious fan of spikes that wouldn’t have looked so out of place in the Cretaceous erupted grotesquely out of their hunched backs.

The mages were also humanoid but didn’t reveal all that much about their physical appearance. They were covered head to toe in enveloping blue and orange robes with silver inlay. It covered everything except for their face, which seemed fairly human except for a slightly distended lower jaw and grey skin. In their right hand they carried a staff whose tip glowed with white light.

Chilly very carefully turned his head in the other direction, where an empty hallway greeted him. Given how much damage a single level four Mrawll Warden could deal Chilly wasn’t keen on entering the room and playing ‘punch the new kid’. Instead he very carefully slipped into the hallway and proceeded down the hallway leading away from the cursed dining room.

The Mrawll didn’t seem to notice him and before too long, Chilly rounded a bend and was out of their sight. Now that he wasn’t at risk of being detected by an errant glance, Chilly took a closer look at the hallway. It was strange. Curling and twisting on itself such that it was impossible to tell what lay ahead.

The twistyness was nice, because it blocked the Mrawll’s vision of Chilly. Less nice, that Chilly’s sight was similarly blocked.

He continued onwards, and came upon another T-intersection. With utmost care he peeked around the corner but needn’t have bothered. Both the left and right hallways were devoid of monsters and quickly turned either left or right and prevented Chilly from seeing what was down them.

Chilly stepped fully into the hallway, then carefully stalked down the right hand passageway. His logic was simple. He had made one right hand turn already, so consistently choosing the right path would make it easier to get out later and had the lowest risk of getting lost.

At least, he had read that in a book once.

The hallway suddenly turned to the left. Chilly peeked around the corner and saw another circular room. Unlike the previous room, this one looked to be an torture room. Two massive wooden tables filled up the floor space. Blood splattered heavy oak timbers composed the frames. Various rusty manacles attached to strange locations spilled out of the ominous table. If that wasn’t bad enough, one of the tables looked like it had a severed head still attached to the head clamp. Strangely the head seemed to have been petrified permanently in wood. Forever immortalizing the rictus of horror.

Two level four Mrawll Wardens, a level three Mrawll Keeper, and a level four Mrawll Mage stalked around the cursed torture tables restless. They didn’t make a sound other than their shuffling feet. They seemed restless and dissatisfied.

Probably the lack of humans to torture and turn into wood.

Chilly shivered and backed away.

Both large circular rooms that he had seen had large, conspicuous tables sitting prominently in their center. The dining hall was less on the nose, but the operating room’s tables were obviously evil. Right now he was just exploring. He didn’t feel up to challenging four or more Mrawll just yet. Especially when he didn’t know the Keeper’s or the Mage’s abilities.

Around the bend, a scholarly penguin was waiting for him. The penguin had a pair of horn rimmed glasses and a book that was uniformly dark wood colored. Even the letters on the page.

Not a very useful book.

Lord zevo

Level: 4

???

“I've always wondered,” The scholarly penguin mumbled to itself as it leafed to a new page in its book. “...what outside our world looks like. Always wanted to see what our universe looks like. What held up our planet? Is it on a table?”

Chilly gasped at the penguin. “Wait, you’re a flat earther?”

The penguin scowled back up at him over its horn rimmed glasses. “...said, an unknown scholar from the table empire”

Lord zevo gave Chilly a reproachful look as if he had suggested something truly insulting before it snapped its book closed and vanished in a cloud of black smoke.

“Table empire...” Chilly muttered darkly to himself. He turned and looked back at the two torture tables sitting evily behind him. “I wouldn't mind if I got a quest to destroy all remnants of this empire if they created things like that.”

Chilly returned back to the last intersection and turned to the left. He considered retreating back to the relative safety of the Undead Parish, but in the end decided against it. The monsters in the Prison seemed relatively confined to their rooms, so if he didn’t aggro them unnecessarily he would be able to explore safely.

It did sort of ruin his foolproof maze solving algorithm though.

Chilly walked forwards cautiously, double checking around the bend whenever the passageway curved in on itself. After the fourth such bend, Chilly barely managed to catch himself before stumbling into another circular chamber.

This one was smaller, with a recessed passageway on the right hand side. There were no tables, and only a single Mrawll Warden pacing around the tight space.

Perfect.

Chilly smiled as he openly stepped into the room. It was time to figure out the extent of the Warden’s attacks.

The Warden immediately grunted as Chilly showed himself and hefted its heavy club high over its head. It released a guttural roar as it lumbered over and brought its club down on Chilly’s head.

Chilly narrowed his eyes and at the last possible moment leapt to the side. As he was midair, he felt the concussion of the heavy club smash into the ground as his life trembled from the massive blow.

Spoiler :

Chilly grunted as he was tossed to the side despite no physical object hitting him. He slammed into the far wall and slid roughly to the ground. He nervously glanced at his life to double check that it was recovering properly. It was.

A penguin leaned down to look at Chilly’s prone form.

Jaydcar

Level: 13

???

“The world fears the inevitable plummet into the abyss. Watch for that moment and when it comes, do not hesitate to leap. It is only when you fall that you learn whether you can fly.”

“Thanks!” Chilly grunted not at all sarcastically as he rolled to his feet.

He refocused once more on the Warden who was just lifting its heavy club up off the ground. The beast turned to stare at Chilly for a moment, before it lumbered forwards with its club raised high.

Chilly watched the creature's movements carefully as he prepared to jump out of the way again. He would give it another dozen or so tries before he ruled it impossible to dodge the juggernauts swings.

A moment before the heavy club landed Chilly leapt out of the way. Once more he felt the concussive force pass over his heels at the apex of his jump, and once more he was sent tumbling away as his life took a hit.

Spoiler :

Chilly gritted his teeth and rolled to his feet.

In the end it took Chilly dozens of attempts before he confirmed that it was indeed an area of effect attack. Even when the Warden high rolled its damage, it wasn’t enough to kill Chilly, and the Warden also didn’t seem smart enough, or capable enough to perform a fast followup strike like the Bone Giant that Chilly had faced in the Mausoleum. As such, Chilly practiced in relative safety against the monster as his life continuously bobbed up and down whenever he made a mistake.

And he made plenty of mistakes. It was only after a lucky fluke where he didn’t get hurt did he realize that tucking in his feet after leaping away was somehow helpful. After that it took an additional half dozen failed dodges before he realized that the area of effect damage extended in a sphere roughly a meter and a half from the landing point of the large club. If any part of his body, even his big toe, was within the volume when the club landed then he would take the full damage of the attack and get launched to the side. Being out of the area though would completely avoid all damage and leave him with enough time to observe the Warden’s movements.

After he realized that, he tried several times to try and avoid the attack by jumping straight up. His heavy armor made it difficult, but not impossible to clear one and a half meters by tucking in his legs. It probably would have worked too if he didn’t also have to dodge the wooden club itself. After getting brained and having his spine restructured, Chilly decided that leaping out of the way would be a better move.

As he mastered dodging the heavy slam, Chilly got hit repeatedly. The lowest damage he took was 147 while the highest was 201. Without the resistance shrine the level four Warden dealt an almost terrifying amount of damage with each hit. Enough that he could potentially die after taking two in a row.

Luckily, it turned out that the Warden could only attack about once every four seconds. After it slammed the club down it would just stare at it for a second before ponderously dragging it back over its shoulder and reorienting on Chilly. This was obviously a great time to unleash Incinerate on the monster, but Chilly refrained. It wouldn’t do to kill his practice partner before he had mastered its techniques.

After he had mastered timing his dodge roll to best avoid the area of effect slam, Chilly decided to experiment for the hell of it. He channeled Incinerate at the hulking Mrawll Warden for a single second. Then he counted seconds until all the visible burns on the Mrawll Warden healed or flaked away. It took roughly four seconds or thereabouts and was a chill reminder that he wasn’t the only one who could recover during downtime.

The knowledge wasn’t all that useful otherwise.

After dancing with the giant brute for what felt like an hour, Chilly burned down the Mrawll Warden with barely another thought. He continued on to the next passageway, and carefully forged onwards. The tunnel wound to the left before opening up to a long straight section. Halfway down the hallway there was a door to the left and a little farther was another door leading right.

With no monsters immediately visible, Chilly stalked forwards. He peeked into the first room on the left and smiled as he saw a single lonely looking level four Mrawll Warden sitting despondently in the center of the circular room.

He grinned, as he dashed into the room to enact the strategy he had practiced.

The Mrawll Warden rose to its feet and charged with a guttural roar. Chilly calmy unleashed a ray of fire at the charging juggernaut as he waited for just the right moment. As the club came down Chilly leaned down then leaped as high and far as he could to the right. At the apex of his jump he tucked in his feet and smoothly transitioned the leap into a roll.

Back before he had enhanced stats and regeneration he would never have dared to enact such a maneuver on hard stone. Now though, it was barely worth mentioning. Whatever damage the hard stone floor inflicted was gone before he could blink.

Chilly rolled to his feet as a powerful crash sounded behind him. He popped to his feet and instantly began channeling Incinerate at the stunned brute. Fire cascaded out of his open palm and engulfed the monstrous entity. The brief second long break from the flames had allowed its burns to heal a tiny amount but the renewed flames rapidly charred the skin to the point that it was unrecognizable.

The Warden ponderously recovered its club as its life ticked away rapidly. By the time it had begun to charge him again, it looked almost dead. Chilly didn’t try to rush things, instead opting to calmly leap to the side and avoid the terrible club.

Once more it crashed behind him, causing bits of dust to fall from the high ceiling.

Chilly popped to his feet once more and channeled Incinerate as a grin blossomed on his face. Fire hungrily ate at the Mrawll Warden as it stupidly tried to lift its club. It managed to pick it up and lift it over its head, before it was suddenly overwhelmed by its burns. With nary a sound, it collapsed bonelessly in a pile of smoking black meat and chains.

Chilly swished his finger like a cowboy as he extinguished Incinerate with satisfaction.

“Now that’s how it's done.” He said to a nearby penguin who looked up at him with adoring eyes.

“Here!” It cried in a childlike voice. “Have a plushie!”

Chilly blinked as a text box appeared in his vision.

NickXenix

Level: 18

???

The penguin held up a white and pink plushie up to him with large glistening eyes.

“I...” Chilly started then hesitantly reached to take the plushie. “...can’t tell if you’re mocking me.”

As soon as the plushie left the penguin's flipper its soft fur transformed into hard wood and its form transmogrified into that of a short wooden sword. A fraction of a second later, both the sword and the penguin vanished in a puff of black smoke.

Chilly stared at the smoke in his hand with a frown then shrugged. The penguins were mysterious. So far their attention seemed benevolent if capricious. If it seemed random to him it was probably because he was missing some crucial perspective. Hell, the plushie could have had hidden lasers for eyes with a sadistic personality perfect for exterminating the undead by using their own entrails as whips, but for some cosmically unknowable reason it was impossible to transfer over such an unstoppable power.

Chilly smiled as he felt a sense of warmth well up inside him. It felt good to be watched over by such benevolent beings. Especially in a dark dungeon like the one that he was in.

With a confident smile on his face, Chilly stepped out of the circular chamber and continued on. The path to the right was another long hallway that ended in another T-intersection. Chilly considered for a moment but in the end decided to continue going straight. His plan of always hugging the right side was shot anyway and the hallway straight ahead was shorter.

He came to another intersection. The way to the left led to a large circular room with a single level four Mrawll Warden resting right in the center. This didn’t particularly interest Chilly as he already knew that he could handle a level four Warden with ease.

The contents of the right hand path were far more interesting. On the right side of the right hallway there was a perfectly smooth wall. The grooves in between the dull grey bricks had been smoothed and harsh letters had been carved into the wall as if with some sort of chisel. Two small sconces with white ceramic bowls poked out from either side of the writing. Farther along, the hallway continued until it abruptly twisted to the left.

Suspicious of some sort of trap Chilly cautiously entered the hallway. When no trap sprung up to eat him, he slowly began to read the text.

One by one they fell

Their owners used them well

Now naked to the eye

Here and there they lie

Thus culminates their fame

Return from whence they came

“Shit.” Chilly muttered, “I suck at riddles.”