I chewed on a mouthful of the pretty good but small salad in front of me, picking around the pomegranate seeds. I wasn’t sure who decided that pomegranate seeds belonged in salads but I didn’t like them. Apart from that, it was a pretty good salad. There were chunks of some house-made chicken substitute, spirals of deliciously sweet carrots and shavings of cheese nestled amongst the lettuce and the dressing was creamy and delicious.

I ate slowly and carefully, making sure not to do anything that would make my mom or grandparents judge me too hard or accuse me of being unladylike but it was hard. The lettuce was chopped roughly and with every bite, I felt a wave of panic that I would drop some onto my dress and stain it.

Despite my annoyance, I had changed into something more appropriate. I mean, it felt like I had to. We’d gone to the usual restaurant that we always went to with my grandparents. It was in some fancy hotel and they apparently knew the owners so we were always expected to be on our best behaviour. I was never really sure if they actually did know the owners but the waiters certainly knew us on site.

The service was quick and very polite but a little weird. I mean, they always hastened to bring a new bottle of wine over for my grandmother whenever she finished one and never said anything about the glass that was in front of me.

Not that I drank wine, not really. It tasted of vinegar and make my mouth pucker, even if my grandmother described it as sweet. Apparently, I was an appropriate age to begin liking wine, whether I liked it or not so I needed to at least try.

I wasn’t complaining though. Despite the taste, it did make the meals a little less painful.

“So, Stephen got a promotion?” my grandmother asked, picking at her food but barely eating any.

“Yes, he did actually,” my mom was quick to say.

I wasn’t sure if that were true or not but it didn’t matter, dizziness had started to tickle the edge of my mind.

I let it, not quite sure if I was going to go back to the weird ship I was on with Leus and my crew where I’d hopefully be waking up with a hangover, or if I were going back to Mitch.

My phone alarm rang loudly beside me and I rolled over, my eyes squeezed shut against the vertigo and brightness. For a moment, I honestly wasn’t sure which world I was in but then, I forced an eye open and took in the familiar bright bedroom.

I swung my arm out semi-blindly, grabbing at my phone and turning on the alarm. I knew that Mitch would probably be downstairs, either having breakfast already or swimming, but I just wanted more sleep.

I let myself slip back into my doze, the room perfectly cool even though I was bundled up in the blankets. They were so soft and inviting, it was no wonder that I’d gone back there.

Also, I was a little glad I hadn’t returned to Leus. It felt weird. I kind of wanted to but mostly, I didn’t want to know what we’d done together. It felt… too adult. I wasn’t ready for that yet.

I was ready to go downstairs and have fresh pastries out on the patio though; that didn’t feel too grown up.

I groaned softly and rolled over, pulling the duvet with me before checking the time.

Nine am.

That was too early. I was on holiday, kind of. I should be sleeping in until at least eleven, if not later! But I still wanted to get up. I wanted to get started on the day and see what the plan was. Plus, the thought of those pastries was making my mouth water.

I sat up semi-reluctantly, adjusting my tank top and blinking as I stared around the room.

“Have you decided what A levels you’ll be taking?” my grandmother’s voice cut through my fantasy.

“No, not yet,” I said, immediately snapping back to reality.

“She’s still got some time to work it out though, don’t you?” my mom said, her tone overly supportive.

“Oh, yes. I don’t need to decide until around Christmas time,” I said.

“What are you considering?” my grandfather asked, sounding genuinely interested.

“Umm… I’m not actually sure yet. I was thinking maybe Math and Philosophy but I’m not sure about the others,” I said.

I really wasn’t sure though. Some of it would depend on how things went with my GCSEs and I truly didn’t know how they were going to go. It might be that I did shockingly well in an unexpected subject; that would change things. The only one I was sure about was Philosophy. I knew that Mr Ray taught it and I wasn’t really sure what the class would involve but I wanted to find out.

“Philosophy?” my grandmother said, the tone making the word sounding more like a slur or an insult than anything else. “That sounds like a terrible idea. It has no value in the world today. Emma took Philosophy and now she’s a journalist.”

I ignored the judgement that dripped from the word and glanced at my mom.

I liked Emma. She was one of my nicest cousins and she seemed to genuinely enjoy her job, which is more than I could say for a lot of adults I knew, but that wasn’t enough for my grandparents.

Being a journalist wasn’t a flashy enough job but nothing my cousins did would ever be enough for them. One was a doctor but still that wasn’t enough because he went into paediatrics instead of being a surgeon, which was apparently much better.

I didn’t get that though. Surely, working with kids and literally saving their lives was impressive enough?

I remained silent and stared down at my plate as the conversation continued on, my mother quickly and enthusiastically changing the subject before I had a chance to disagree with my grandmother. I’d eaten just over half. It wasn’t enough and I was still hungry but if I ate anything more, I knew that my grandparents would comment on it.

I neatly placed my cutlery together on the plate and folded my hands in my lap, catching the not quite approving but not disapproving look that my grandmother sent me before slipping back into the fantasy where I was getting dressed, my skin still sticky from the suncream I’d rubbed into it.

I glanced around the room quickly, making sure I hadn’t forgotten anything before tucking my phone into my shorts pocket and racing down the stairs as quickly as I dared with feet slippery from the suncream.

I approached the windows quickly, knocking gently so that Mitch would turn around. He did, a cup in one hand and an iPad in the other.

He waved at me with the hand that held his coffee and stood quickly, walking towards me with a grin.

He closed the door softly behind him before saying, “Morning, kiddo! Sorry, neighbours are out in their pool. I’ve been listening to their splashing for the last hour. I kept thinking it was going to wake you up!”

“Oh, yeah, sorry. I slept in a bit late,” I said with an apologetic smile as I sat at the table and eyed the breakfast that had been brought in for us.

“Don’t worry at all! I’m glad you did! You’re a kid, you need your sleep. Want a coffee?” he asked as he drained his cup and put it under the machine again.

“Mmmm,” I said as I considered it. “Yeah, please.”

“Great! Caramel latte again?”

“Yes!”

“Good call! We’re going to need to be sharp today, we’ve got big plans,” he said, his tone a little ominous.

“We do?” I asked, trying to keep the concern out of my voice.

“Oh, yeah. I’ve booked us a private tour of Spinalonga first thing and then in the afternoon, we’re going to go diving again. We’ll be going as much as possible because I want you to get comfortable with it before we move on to the next place. Our next mission might be somewhere landlocked so getting as much practice as you can now is very important,” he said, his expression serious.

I nodded.

The idea of going to Spinalonga excited me and I wanted to rush through breakfast to get there. It felt like the adventure was about to start for real.

“Cool! So… we’re going to Spinalonga?” I asked.

“We are. We have to be down at the pier at eleven thirty so we’ve got some time. Start eating! We’ll probably be there over lunch and I don’t want you to be hungry!” he insisted.

I grinned and started loading food onto my plate, eyeing the giant slab of hash brown and seemingly freshly baked bread. I wanted them both but settled for having bread first; I wanted to start with something sweet. I grabbed the large pot of honey and began drizzling it over the hunk of bread I’d ripped off, biting into it and letting my eyes flutter shut with delight.

It was so good. I don’t know what it was about the bread and honey, if it were how fresh it was or the fact that I was starving, but it was delicious.

“There you go, kid,” Mitch said, placing a cup in front of me and sitting in the other chair.

“Thanks,” I said around my mouthful before swallowing and asking, “so, do we need to, like, look out for anything on Spinalonga? Like, clues or something?”

I reached for more bread as Mitch considered my question, pouring even more honey on this time.

“Not really. I think just start by having a look around and see if anything stands out to you. I might pretend that I’ve confiscated your phone to give you a good excuse to dawdle and be looking around so much, what do you think?” he asked.

“Oh, yeah! That’s a good idea!” I said excitedly.

“Great! You’ll still have your watch, obviously, so if anything does happen, you can use that but I think this will work,” he mused.

I grinned at him and finished my bread, licking some leftover honey off my fingers.

“Are you finished with your plate?” a woman asked in a gentle Scottish accent.

“Oh, yes. Thank you,” I said, clutching my hands tightly in my lap as a wave of

nausea hit me.

The waitress smiled at me and took the plate.

I glanced around the table, checking to make sure that no one had noticed that I wasn’t paying any attention to the conversation but they hadn’t. I mean, it didn’t really matter that much. My mom and grandparents strongly believed that kids shouldn’t take part in conversations with adults unless they were directly spoken to.

I’d never asked why but that hadn’t stopped my grandmother from telling me her reasoning. Apparently, kids had nothing worthwhile to add to any conversation. It wasn’t even worth listening to us.

“Would anyone like any dessert or a coffee?” a waiter asked, looking at my grandmother.

“A cappuccino, please,” she said with a polite yet clipped smile.

“An espresso,” my grandfather added.

“A cappuccino would be great,” my mother added.

The waiter looked at me expectantly and I felt the others do the same.

I should have said no thank you, that’s what they expected of me, but a flare of rebellion went through me.

“I’d like a latte, please,” I said with a smile.

“Of course,” the waiter said before hurrying away.

“Since when do you drink coffee?” my mom asked, her tone light but there was an edge to it.

“Oh, fairly recently. I had one at school and it was pretty good,” I lied.

I wasn’t actually sure if I would like a coffee in reality or if I would like it without caramel syrup but it didn’t feel right to ask for something like that here. It felt too immature, they would judge me for it.

“They serve coffee at schools now?” my grandmother asked sharply. “How ridiculous.”

I felt irritation rush through me as my mother opened her mouth to say something, either to change the subject or agree with her but I spoke first.

“Excuse me, I’m just going to pop to the bathroom,” I said, phrasing it the exact way my mother had earlier when she’d left me alone with my grandparents.

They barely even looked at me, continuing the conversation as if I hadn’t interrupted.

I slipped from the table without hesitating and rushed across the restaurant as quickly as I could without looking like I was actually in a hurry to get away from my table.

Even with how uncomfortable I found eating there, I did enjoy going. It was a stunningly beautiful place. The hotel was a converted old manor building but they’d done a lot of work on the restaurant to modernise it.

The roof had been draped with a cream-coloured tulle, which hid fairy lights that sparkled softly and made the whole room feel a little magical. Occasional paintings hung on the walls too. Romanticised versions of the landscape around us, some misty and mysterious looking, others shining under the sunlight.

It felt intimate, romantic and entirely the wrong place to go with your family. I was pretty sure we were the only family there too. Most of the other diners appeared to be couples of various ages, dressed in suits and formal clothes, their hair carefully styled and perfectly preened.

I was a little jealous. It would be a lovely place to go on a date.

I looked down and walked across the monogrammed carpet towards the bathroom, pushing the door open and breathing out a sigh of relief.

It was empty.

That bathroom was always my safe haven when I was there. It was so often empty because there was another one closer to the restaurant but that’s why I went to it. People had to go out of their way to find it which meant I could normally stay there a little longer. If there were other people in there, I’d feel uncomfortable but there rarely were.

I looked around again before sinking into the weird fainting couch that lived in the bathroom. Normally, I wouldn’t have sat on any kind of furniture in a bathroom other than the toilet but it was always spotless in there which helped. It even smelt nice. There was a delicately floral perfume that always hung in the air.

I fished my phone out of my pocket and stared at it blankly for a moment.

I wasn’t really sure what to do. I just wanted a bit of a break, a chance to breathe or be alone without my mom or my grandparents picking at me. I almost wanted to text Phoebe but I wasn’t sure what to say. I’d only be able to text her once or twice before going back to dinner too so I felt bad.

I clicked on Instagram and scrolled through for a moment without paying much attention to what I was seeing. I didn’t follow too many people on there anyway. A couple of people from school, a few celebrities and influencers but that was about it.

A sigh slipped out of my mouth as I checked the time. I needed to go back. I had to return to the table and drink my potentially not horrible drink and smile politely as the others had conversations that I wasn’t allowed to be a part of.

It wouldn’t be that bad though, Mitch and I would be going to Spinalonga soon and I couldn’t wait for that at least. I wondered what it was going to be like before blinking as a realisation came over me.

I could just google it. I had my phone in front of me and I was on the hotel wifi. I could just search the island and see if it actually existed or if my brain was just making it up.

A grin came over my face as I pulled up Safari and searched ‘Spinalonga’.

It was a real place! An actual abandoned leper colony, just like Mitch had said. It really was in the middle of a bay opposite a hotel that looked a lot like the one we were staying at in my daydream. I must have seen it in a TV show or movie or something because it looked almost exactly like I imagined it.

I smiled to myself before rising from the couch and stretching. I’d dawdled too long. I needed to go back before they got suspicious of what I was doing in the bathroom.

Knowing my mom, she would assume that I was talking to a boy or something scandalous and I really didn’t want her to look through my phone again, even if there was nothing that bad to find on there.

I hadn’t been talking to a boy, obviously, but she would still assume that I had.

I don’t know why but she just always assumed that I was when really, the only boy I ever spoke to was Duncan and it wasn’t like anything would ever happen between us.

He’d known me for too long. He’d seen me go through my awkward phase, which honestly I wasn’t sure I was out of, and he would never be into me like that. He was probably into one of the pretty girls at school, like Ella who took every opportunity to touch him or trail after him at parties.

I felt bad for him, he once pulled me out onto the roof and we hid there for like an hour just so that she’d get bored and stop looking for him.

I kind of felt bad for her too. It must be tough to be that unaware that someone isn’t into you. Maybe, she was aware. Maybe she just hoped that he’d change his mind but it didn’t seem to be happening. Hopefully, for his sake, she’d get bored and move on to someone else soon.

I slipped my phone into my pocket, washed my hands and slipped out of the bathroom. I stared at the stunning portraits on the wall as I walked down the hall towards the restaurant, admiring the paintings of the people who used to live in the hotel back when it was just a house.

Part of me wanted to imagine what it was like to live then. To have a giant house with staff and people to take care of me and cook for me and everything. I could just spend my days preparing for balls and speaking to suitors who would be lining up down the drive just for the chance to catch a glimpse of me.

But, no. The allure of exploring Spinalonga was too much for me. I didn’t want to abandon that just for a throwaway daydream.

I returned to the table, smiling politely at my mom who was the only person who looked at me, and sat down again.

“You took your time,” my grandmother said. “Your coffee will be cold.”

I looked down at the tall mug which still billowed steam.

“There was a queue for the bathroom,” I lied.

She raised an eyebrow before looking away, glancing at my granddad who didn’t respond at all.

“What have you planned to do for the month?” my grandmother asked, her tone bordering on demanding.

“We’ve not booked anything just yet, you know we like to get here before we organise anything but we were thinking horse riding, maybe hiking, seeing the sights. We might spend a day in Edinburgh again, that’s always fun. Plus, Grace has some schoolwork she wanted to do over the summer, right?” my mom said.

I glanced at her blankly, trying to work out if I had mentioned anything to her about anything I had to do. I didn’t think so. We hadn’t been given any work so it had to be a lie.

Realisation hit me. Mom usually lied about me having work to do to give us an excuse to just be in the house, as if we needed a reason to just be relaxing during our holiday.

“Oh, yes. I want to get a head start on my schoolwork for next year,” I lied.

My mom sent me a slight smile that warmed my heart.

I knew that she was difficult more often than not but it just felt really good to have her smile at me. It was nice of her to act like she liked me, even though I knew it wouldn’t last.

My grandmother looked at me flatly and I knew she was going to say something judgemental but I didn’t want anything to dull the happiness I felt in that moment.

With a blink, I was back in Crete, standing on the pier and staring at the surprisingly small boat. A heavily tanned man in a button-down top and shorts stood in the boat, talking to Mitch.

I was the only one on the pier still but the boat didn’t look sturdy enough to get us across the water to Spinalonga. I knew that the water was fairly enclosed so there weren’t really any waves or anything but it still could be a little choppy.

I eyed the boat again but this time, Mitch turned to me.

“Come on, Alice. This trip is going to be fun!” he said in a tone similar to my mom’s when she was talking to my grandparents.

It was that same forced enthusiasm and happiness.

I glanced at him worriedly and crossed my arms which made Mitch turn to the sailor and speak in a loud whisper.

“She’s just annoyed because I banned her phone from the trip. You know how young people are today. Do you have any kids?”

“Oh, yes,” the man said. “A ten-year-old and a five-year-old.”

“Oof!” Mitch said dramatically. “Brace yourself. I remember when Alice was ten. We used to have so much fun.”

I looked away over the water, guilt churning in my stomach as the sailor tutted sympathetically.

“Do you remember how fun that was, Alice?” Mitch asked, his tone so kind and hopeful that it made my heart clench.

I couldn’t ignore him. I just couldn’t even though I knew that I probably should have.

I let my arms drop and climbed into the boat, dropping into the nearest seat and muttering, “It was fun.”